Funny Book Forensics 432 Byrning the Legion

[00:00:07] Speaker A: Sorry. 12 minutes of setup and Greg's frozen. Now Greg's frozen. Pretending like he's frozen until he becomes really frozen because his Internet sucks. [00:00:18] Speaker B: Oh, come on now. The Internet, they. They just kept saying that it was going to go down at some point today, and it didn't go down yet. So we'll wait until it does go down, and then it'll just mess up the podcast. [00:00:30] Speaker A: So did I tell you the great news? [00:00:32] Speaker B: What's that? [00:00:34] Speaker A: My fiber company was bought out by AT&T. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:00:40] Speaker A: I have not done. Do you remember when I stopped doing business with AT&T and you said, you're [00:00:46] Speaker B: never going to go back? Well, it looks like they got you. They waited you out. They, they. They snuck into your life. [00:00:53] Speaker A: And the, the best. The best thing about the company was they had the frozen rates. And now AT&T sent out something that said, oh, we're not getting rid of the frozen rates as long as your contract here still exists. [00:01:08] Speaker B: And then they can make it disappear. [00:01:11] Speaker A: All right. [00:01:14] Speaker B: Oh, Dan, how angry are you? [00:01:17] Speaker A: I remember when, I guess Singular bought AT and T. Right. Or they merged or I think Singular bought them, or they merged or whatever. [00:01:27] Speaker B: Reverse buy. [00:01:28] Speaker A: And I had Singular, and I called them, said I was canceling, and they were like, why? We bought them. And I said, yeah, I don't do business with them. So you bought them. [00:01:45] Speaker B: But. [00:01:46] Speaker A: But we bought them. It's still the same company. And I'm like, yeah, what you don't understand is I don't do business with AT&T. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:55] Speaker A: And now I have to do business with AT&T because they have a monopoly over the only Internet that is worth a shit in my neighborhood. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Oh. [00:02:05] Speaker A: I mean, you could say, go back to Comcast. How's that working out for you, Greg? [00:02:10] Speaker B: I mean, intermittent downages and outages whenever they feel fit. I mean, sometimes it's not when they feel fit, it's whenever somebody decides to destroy the Internet in our neck of the woods. But. And we live in a city, so [00:02:25] Speaker A: it's kind of weird, but we are. We finished up. And it was scary. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:36] Speaker A: Because this. I'm transitioning away from Internet talk. [00:02:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I mean, as one should to [00:02:42] Speaker A: talk about, slash past, future past slash one. We left off, and it was a scary scene because Pete Ross rode his bike. [00:02:52] Speaker B: He did. [00:02:53] Speaker A: That was a pretty sweet cruiser, wasn't it? [00:02:56] Speaker B: It was pretty cool looking. I mean, he's got that. He's got that look about him. He's a rebel. He's a loner. [00:03:03] Speaker A: And. And he rode the Bike. And we got. He was telling Block, Sunboy, Invisible Kid, and Brainiac 5, who were waiting by the time bubble for some reason. [00:03:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Hanging out. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Who all happen to have the exact same powers as the members of the Fantastic Four. Except for Brainiac 5. Does not stretch. [00:03:27] Speaker B: Does not. [00:03:27] Speaker A: Well, super smart. [00:03:28] Speaker B: He stretches his imagination. [00:03:31] Speaker A: Well, he does have a force field that stretches. [00:03:33] Speaker B: Yes. He does. He stretch that bang. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Conveniently all have the same powers of the Fantastic Four. And they're all hanging out next to a time bubble. But Pete Ross rides there and is like, hey, you need to leave because something just took out Superboy, Mon El, Ultra Boy. Why are you doing that? [00:03:53] Speaker B: Because my ear itches. [00:03:55] Speaker A: That's creepy. [00:03:57] Speaker B: What? [00:03:57] Speaker A: So, yeah, that's exactly like no one [00:04:02] Speaker B: else except for you. And maybe the few. The two people that watch. [00:04:06] Speaker A: And everybody watching. Yes. Well, I'm sorry. [00:04:09] Speaker B: It itches. My ear, it itches. Everyone. I'm sorry. I'm a human. I'm doing human things. I don't feel Dan's making me do this podcast. He's. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Okay, so. Yeah, I was making a point somewhere. [00:04:25] Speaker B: Well, you're the one that got distracted by my ear. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Pete Ross came and said Superboy got taken out, Mon El got taken out. Ultra Boy got taken out, Cosmic Boy. And Night Girl, of course. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Of course. [00:04:38] Speaker A: The most powerful, I guess technically, because it was down in the basement, she would have had her powers because it would have been kind of dark. [00:04:47] Speaker B: But unless. Unless. Unless Superboy had on all the lights. He. [00:04:54] Speaker A: I think he might have. I think the lights were on. [00:04:56] Speaker B: He turned them all on. He knew. He knew. He said, no, not today. [00:05:03] Speaker A: Are you waiting for. Are you like me? And you're waiting for the Night Girl Shadow Last team up miniseries? [00:05:10] Speaker B: I. I think that would be epic. [00:05:13] Speaker A: What if they went back in time and they teamed up with Dr. Midnight? [00:05:16] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [00:05:18] Speaker A: And the Sandman. That get out The Golden Age, of course. [00:05:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:23] Speaker A: Not. Not. Not the. The Golden Age Sandman. Not the. [00:05:26] Speaker B: What? Okay, hold on. And then what if. What if they. What if they. They go back in time and then they need some help from someone who doesn't necessarily play into superheroes, but he is a super sleuth. Nathaniel Dusk. Yeah, yeah. I mean, see, it's all fitting into thematically. Thematically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who else? [00:05:57] Speaker A: And then what if they had a cross promotional team up with Cloak and Dagger? [00:06:03] Speaker B: Okay, okay. [00:06:05] Speaker A: And then, yeah, they came back and had another cross promotional. Except it's not because D.C. owns him now, but let's say Image still owned him and they Had a team up with Midnighter. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Midnight. Oh, Midnighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. [00:06:20] Speaker A: That'd be violent. [00:06:21] Speaker B: It would be violent. [00:06:22] Speaker A: He might kill all the team up people. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Do you think he would kill the team of people? [00:06:26] Speaker A: It depends on his mood, I think. [00:06:28] Speaker B: Hey. Depends on his mood. That's true. [00:06:31] Speaker A: And while I'm distracted. [00:06:33] Speaker B: Yes. [00:06:33] Speaker A: And not talking about the comic book. So we are getting these trailers out for the new Spider man movie. [00:06:41] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not to get distracted by anything. Yes. [00:06:45] Speaker A: And my favorite character is apparently in the new Spider man movie. [00:06:50] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Who's your favorite character, Dan? [00:06:52] Speaker A: Oh, the Punisher. [00:06:53] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:06:57] Speaker A: So I guess I'm not watching the new Spider man movie. [00:06:59] Speaker B: He's only in there for a quick bit. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Really? Is that true or are you just making that up? [00:07:05] Speaker B: I mean, you take it as you're [00:07:09] Speaker A: just making that up. So you don't really know. [00:07:13] Speaker B: Nobody does, Dan. That's the best part about this. Nobody knows. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Why would I want to watch a movie with the Punisher in it? [00:07:19] Speaker B: Well, I mean, you wouldn't. [00:07:22] Speaker A: I mean, can't we just see that in real life right now? [00:07:24] Speaker B: That's true, but at the same point, you have to see that. That Peter Parker, he isn't not teaming up with the Punisher. He's not working with the Punisher. He's trying to evade the Punisher as the Punisher is trying to punish him for being Spider Man. [00:07:41] Speaker A: The Punisher is a stupid name. [00:07:44] Speaker B: Well, because he wants to punish people [00:07:48] Speaker A: who created the Punisher. [00:07:50] Speaker B: He's gonna look it up, folks. He's looking it up. Tell us. [00:07:53] Speaker A: You know, I don't know. Well, that's why I'm looking it up. Because I rely on you for 70s Marvel Comics data because you were the one whose uncle had all of the comics that you read from the 70s for Marvel. And you don't know. [00:08:08] Speaker B: I didn't read. I didn't share a lot while he [00:08:12] Speaker A: appeared in Spider Man. First, Jerry Conway, who wrote some of the. And there's our Legion connection because Jerry Conway wrote the books between Paul Levitz. Conway, Levitz. Oh. So as you will. [00:08:25] Speaker B: So you can be mad, but you can't be. [00:08:28] Speaker A: Oh, I can be mad. I didn't necessarily care for some of Jerry Conway's Legion either. Some of it was not. [00:08:33] Speaker B: But you did, though. [00:08:35] Speaker A: No, not really. I mean, there was some really interesting stories in there. [00:08:43] Speaker B: And that's what makes this. That's what makes the Spider man not team up. But. But shooting web at the Punisher's guns and. And Spider man trying to get away from the Punisher. That's what makes it interesting, Dan. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Okay, well, back to Marvel destroying things I like again. We have. We left off. And the Legionnaires went through the time bubble. Yes. Or went in the time bubble and went toward the future and. Oh. [00:09:15] Speaker B: Huh? Oh, no. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:09:19] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Yeah, we get. Well, we go anyway. We move forward. So we get Superman number eight. That's where the story goes. We don't know what's happened yet, but we're going to Superman number eight. So we get a cover. We mentioned it last time, and we have rift Fantastic Four cover, where, yeah, it's definitely basically fake Superman. Fake Superboy, actually, Which is the funny part is beating up the Fantastic Four. [00:10:02] Speaker B: You don't necessarily know that at that point, though, because they don't know that. [00:10:07] Speaker A: Who doesn't know that? [00:10:08] Speaker B: It's not. I mean, they don't know. He's like. Nobody knows that. They all think that's their buddy. They're. They're original. Like, they don't know. Nobody knows that it's fake. Superboy. Superman, Superboy. [00:10:20] Speaker A: Who doesn't know this? [00:10:21] Speaker B: Nobody. The Legion. [00:10:25] Speaker A: Well, we don't even. [00:10:26] Speaker B: Nobody knows nothing about nothing, man. They just think that's their buddy, their pal, their friendo, their guy. [00:10:32] Speaker A: We're not even. We're not even there yet. [00:10:34] Speaker B: I know, exactly. You said fake. I just said it's their friend. [00:10:41] Speaker A: Well, whoever it is on the COVID is holding Block up in the sky has beaten up. Invisible Kid is knocked out. Sunboy is knocked out. It doesn't look so good for the Legion. [00:10:56] Speaker B: This guy's done a super job at it, and he looks. [00:10:59] Speaker A: And you know what else we get? [00:11:01] Speaker B: What? [00:11:01] Speaker A: I don't know why I'm reading this tablet, too, because. [00:11:05] Speaker B: What do you got? What do you got? [00:11:06] Speaker A: What's that? [00:11:07] Speaker B: What do you have in your hand, Dan? [00:11:08] Speaker A: Comic book. [00:11:09] Speaker B: What kind. What kind of comic book is it? Oh, he's. [00:11:15] Speaker A: I read. [00:11:16] Speaker B: Is it the one. Is it this one? [00:11:18] Speaker A: It's comic book. It's the comic book I read in 1987. [00:11:21] Speaker B: Is it this one? You stand this one right here. Oh, everybody, he's pulling out of the projector packaging. He's opening it up, and he's gonna let us see it. Oh, Lordy, Bacordi, look at that. [00:11:40] Speaker A: Yeah, it looks pretty good. Does look pretty good, especially for a white cover. Bug. [00:11:47] Speaker B: Yeah. No Cheeto fingers on there? [00:11:51] Speaker A: Not yet. [00:11:52] Speaker B: Oh, he's gonna put Cheeto fingers on it. Watch out, everybody. [00:11:56] Speaker A: Well, we opened the first page, and we've got. [00:11:59] Speaker B: So, yeah. [00:12:01] Speaker A: John Burn wanted Superman to be younger. [00:12:05] Speaker B: Huh. [00:12:08] Speaker A: And I think it was 20. And I don't. So he was trying to. I don't know. I mean. Well, okay, so. Well, it would have to be 26 based on things we're going to read later. But does this Superman on this page look like somebody in their late 20s, early 30s? [00:12:38] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:12:38] Speaker A: No. [00:12:39] Speaker B: Yeah. No. [00:12:41] Speaker A: And he just. He looks like the Superman from before. [00:12:46] Speaker B: He looks like Superman, not super boy, [00:12:49] Speaker A: but he does not like Superboy, that's for sure. [00:12:52] Speaker B: He's. He's bigger, he's brawnier. He's not wearing a flannel shirt, so he's not going to wipe up your spills for the paper towel. [00:13:01] Speaker A: Well, and I just. And, and why is Superman slash Clark walking around shirtless, pulling up trees? [00:13:09] Speaker B: Because Lana's there. [00:13:12] Speaker A: Why is he trying to impress Lana? [00:13:14] Speaker B: He doesn't need to. Of course. She's already fawning over him and swooning and stuff. But he's got to pull up that tree for a reason. He's going to tell you on the next page. Watch out, folks. It's a doozy. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Well, also. Okay, first off, yeah, we do get. We do get an M&M's ad here because we have ads again, because we don't have the. [00:13:36] Speaker B: Yeah, you get ads. [00:13:40] Speaker A: The. I'm going to take my first issue with this issue. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Yeah. What's that? [00:13:46] Speaker A: Small county, Kansas, the first week of spring. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:13:53] Speaker A: And it not even just be Smallville. Can he not even leave one thing alone? [00:14:00] Speaker B: No, he's gotta. It's gotta be changed. Everything's gotta be different. All gonna be different. [00:14:10] Speaker A: From what I understand. Yes, John, Bernie is a really, really nice human being. [00:14:14] Speaker B: I'm sure he is. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Just an extremely nice human being. So I want some of my. I just want to be clear that my disdain has everything to do with the harm this caused the legion of superheroes. Not. Please don't think I dislike this man who created so many things that have been great and wonderful. We just don't get it. All right? All the time. [00:14:42] Speaker B: That's not what you said. Off camera and off mic, it is. I'm just joking. [00:14:46] Speaker A: Off camera and off mic, it is what you said. The. It's what I usually say. I. If it's something that a creator does that I don't like. Right. It's just they're creators. They're probably nice. I mean, there are some that aren't nice people. We don't read their books that's true. [00:15:03] Speaker B: We don't. [00:15:03] Speaker A: Or we accidentally read their books and then like talk about them. Yeah. But [00:15:10] Speaker B: yeah. [00:15:11] Speaker A: So anyway, Lana and Superman have this. Or. Excuse me. Lana and Clark have this big conversation. [00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:20] Speaker A: About her being comfortable and why do you wear the glasses? And he says he feels strange without them. They're his disguise. Then he uses his heat vision. Cuz this is how heat works, by the way. [00:15:34] Speaker B: Of course. [00:15:35] Speaker A: To cut a bunch of fence posts. [00:15:37] Speaker B: Yeah, it's how it works. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Apparently he's the Flash because. [00:15:43] Speaker B: Oh, he learned a thing or two from the flash. [00:15:47] Speaker A: Well, he cut apparently like 30 fence posts from raw lumber. [00:15:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:52] Speaker A: Or from. Yeah. In one panel. [00:15:56] Speaker B: Boom. Well, I mean, he's. [00:16:00] Speaker A: He is Superman. [00:16:02] Speaker B: He has skills. [00:16:04] Speaker A: Dan, we also know that he does not like Booster Gold. [00:16:09] Speaker B: That's true. But we don't know that in this book. We don't know that. We don't know if we do know [00:16:14] Speaker A: that in this book. That book came out before this. [00:16:16] Speaker B: But we don't know if this Superman doesn't like him. [00:16:20] Speaker A: That was this Superman. [00:16:21] Speaker B: Are you sure it's this Superman? [00:16:24] Speaker A: Yes. It seems like there's 300% sure. Okay, well. [00:16:31] Speaker B: Okay. [00:16:33] Speaker A: Jonathan and Martha come back out with a picnic basket. And just so you know, I wasn't being disgusting in the last episode. See, there's the X ray vision and there is the pie that I was referring to. I was not referring to anything that the Rock would refer to. I was referring to actual pie in a basket. [00:16:51] Speaker B: I understand. Yeah. And it's rhubarb pie, not a cherry. [00:16:56] Speaker A: Rhubarb. Yes. Rhubarb pie. The Tacoma Rainiers mascot would approve. [00:17:02] Speaker B: Yes, they would. They would be like, yes, that is delicious. You know. Do you think the Portland Pickles eats pickle pie? [00:17:12] Speaker A: I. I don't know. [00:17:14] Speaker B: You what? What a pickle pie taste like? Dan, would you eat a pickle pie? [00:17:17] Speaker A: Do you think the Portland Pickles guy is a cannibal Eating. [00:17:21] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Cuz it's a pickle. Eating pickles. [00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah, like rhubarb. The reindeer doesn't eat other reindeer. [00:17:30] Speaker B: Why not? They're delicious. [00:17:34] Speaker A: You've never had reindeer. [00:17:36] Speaker B: I have. [00:17:37] Speaker A: You have not. [00:17:38] Speaker B: I have. [00:17:40] Speaker A: No, you haven't. [00:17:41] Speaker B: I have. [00:17:43] Speaker A: Reindeer and moose are different. [00:17:44] Speaker B: That was reindeer. Santa had an accident. Had to put one down right on the roof. We got to take it in. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Is it the one that ran over Grandma? [00:17:57] Speaker B: Nope, it's the one we don't sing about. But you know, Olive had to replace that one. [00:18:05] Speaker A: By the way, friends, we're Doing two books this episode. We're doing issue eight of Superman. [00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I only read half of the book. [00:18:12] Speaker A: We're doing Action Comics 591. [00:18:14] Speaker B: Dan told me, and I only had to read half. [00:18:17] Speaker A: We are 18 minutes in, and we haven't even gotten through, like, the fifth page. [00:18:23] Speaker B: It's not my fault. [00:18:26] Speaker A: No, not at all. You were 100 on track and keeping us, like, on the straight and narrow path. [00:18:33] Speaker B: I try all the time. [00:18:38] Speaker A: Well, anyway, they're having a picnic. [00:18:40] Speaker B: They're having a picnic. [00:18:41] Speaker A: Park. Here's something. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Park hears something. He flies away. He goes up, up, and away. He doesn't even have to go into a phone booth or anything. [00:18:49] Speaker B: Yeah, he just. [00:18:50] Speaker A: And he changes into his Superman suit. [00:18:52] Speaker B: Do you think he just, like, burst out of his clothes that he has on and the Superman suits underneath those clothes, or he just changes mid flight? [00:19:00] Speaker A: Well, I got to go back a page, because. Did he put a shirt on? Like, when did he put a. Oh, he puts a shirt. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Puts a shirt on and then takes. [00:19:08] Speaker A: Why did he put a shirt on? And why did he put on a collared shirt? [00:19:14] Speaker B: He put a shirt on because he wanted to be presentable for. For his. His folks. [00:19:22] Speaker A: But didn't he have a T shirt or something like. No, he didn't have a T shirt. [00:19:26] Speaker B: He. [00:19:27] Speaker A: We want to make Superman younger and hip. He's going to wear a colored shirt tucked into his jeans while working. [00:19:34] Speaker B: Well, that's cool. [00:19:41] Speaker A: Superman. And then. [00:19:43] Speaker B: Well, I mean, like, I'm. I'm just wondering, like. I mean, as he, like, flies off, like, is he just. Boom. And then all of a sudden, he, like, he's got his super suit inside his back pocket, and then he just changes in the air like a. Like, you know when a bird takes flight and goes from, like, I'm sitting on the ground to, like, I'm a flying object? [00:20:02] Speaker A: I think he spins around in a circle really fast, and his outfit appears. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Shut up. [00:20:10] Speaker A: I. [00:20:11] Speaker B: No. Are you. [00:20:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:20:14] Speaker B: What? Get out of here, Dan. [00:20:17] Speaker A: That's totally what happens. [00:20:19] Speaker B: Wait a minute. Well, I. I've only. Are you saying you've seen this? [00:20:26] Speaker A: Maybe. [00:20:27] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, people. Dan has seen Superman change. [00:20:32] Speaker A: So Superman's flying. Yeah, Superman is flying, and he's flying to the old Simonson limestone quarry. [00:20:40] Speaker B: Oh, okay. As one does. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Is that named after Walt Simonson? [00:20:46] Speaker B: Maybe. Little acknowledgement there. [00:20:49] Speaker A: Which is interesting, because Louise would write the book later, right? Or edit the books. [00:20:54] Speaker B: Edit. [00:20:54] Speaker A: Did she ever write them? I think she wrote some of them. I know she edited a lot of she edited a lot of them. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:02] Speaker A: It's just interesting. Okay, so it's a little future nod after Burn got burned out of the book. Then he's giving a nod to the creators that took it over later, and they're out at a quarry. And then we get an ad for ERTL models. [00:21:23] Speaker B: We love those. [00:21:23] Speaker A: I don't know if you have ads. [00:21:25] Speaker B: I don't have ads. Build a reputation. Get those. Get those cars built up. [00:21:32] Speaker A: That's kind of cool. Okay, the art style doesn't. The art style is as old as Superman is presented in the book. You also got. Here's everything Greg wanted as a kid right here. I can't see Tang. [00:21:51] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, Cool tank. [00:21:55] Speaker A: When I hold up the comic, it blocks the light for me, so I got dark. That's kind of funny. [00:22:00] Speaker B: Oh, watch out. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Well, anyway, Superman's flying, and he's like, there are four beings in strange costumes. And then he shoots them with his heat vision accidentally. [00:22:12] Speaker B: It's an accident, Dan. He doesn't. What does he say? [00:22:15] Speaker A: It's an accident? [00:22:16] Speaker B: He says, oh, no. I fired spontaneously without my control. My heat vision blasted. [00:22:24] Speaker A: When have you known Superman not to be able to control his heat vision? [00:22:27] Speaker B: Good Lord, it's happening again. It just keeps happening. Every time I look at things that I don't understand, I just want to shoot them. Shoot them with my heat vision and melt them like a microwave. Oh, my, what have I done? I've shot another one with my heat vision. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Well, that's a good question. How does Superman's heat vision work? Because is it X ray vision? So is it heated by radiation? [00:22:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:56] Speaker A: Can X rays be hot and cold? [00:22:58] Speaker B: I. I assume so. [00:22:59] Speaker A: Maybe. [00:23:02] Speaker B: That would be scary if all of a sudden you're getting an X ray at the hospital and it's a hot X ray, and you're like, why is it hot? Well, they're like, sorry, sir, it shouldn't be hot. And you're like. You're cooking me from the inside out. I feel like a hot dog in the microwave. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Well, [00:23:28] Speaker B: no. [00:23:29] Speaker A: What? [00:23:30] Speaker B: That's what happens when you put heat vision on a hot dog in the microwave. It cooks. [00:23:36] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I got distracted by trying to remember Sean Cassidy's name, and you talked for, like, four sentences, and I have no idea what you're. What you were talking about. [00:23:44] Speaker B: You said, x rays be hot, and I said, that's what a microwave is. It's. [00:23:49] Speaker A: Yes. And then I was looking at the sun boy down here in the corner thinking it looked just like Siren like. [00:23:56] Speaker B: And He's. And he's also. He's trying to cook Superman like a hot dog. [00:24:01] Speaker A: He looks to me like John Byrne just drew Sean Cassidy instead of drawing Dirk Morgana. Sunboy. [00:24:07] Speaker B: Okay. [00:24:07] Speaker A: As you can see down the corner there, it does look like that, does it not? [00:24:10] Speaker B: It does. It does. And he's like, I'm gonna cook you like a hot dog. [00:24:15] Speaker A: And then fires up I don't know where hot dogs. Why are. Don't put hot dogs in the microwave. They explode. [00:24:21] Speaker B: Well, that's why you only cook them for 30 seconds at a time. And you add 30 seconds more and 30 seconds more. It's just how you cook a marshmallow in the microwave. [00:24:30] Speaker A: Dan, you marshmallows are disgusting and no one should ever eat them. This gross. They're like balls of disgusting sugar that expand. Like there are the grossest things, like [00:24:43] Speaker B: get bigger in the microwave. [00:24:45] Speaker A: No, the only thing you should do with a marshmallow is maybe, maybe make s'. Mores. Maybe. [00:24:51] Speaker B: Okay. Fun, fun story. So I will. I will back back in Scouts and [00:25:04] Speaker A: I prepared for this podcast too. I know you're so proud of myself. [00:25:07] Speaker B: Back in Scouts we had the first. The first camp out we went on. And I will just use first names, no last names, but you know who I'm talking about. Rob was so excited about driving his brand new one ton pickup truck. You know who I'm talking about. [00:25:26] Speaker A: Of course his parents got him a pickup truck because. [00:25:30] Speaker B: And he. He parked it and a bunch of us were. Were throwing flaming marshmallows around and his truck got pelted with flaming marshmallows unintentionally. It just happened to be that when they're flying through the air, they. They go further than you expect them to. It wasn't brand new, it was new to him. But yes, you've plenty of marshmallows are also difficult to get off of a car. [00:26:01] Speaker A: Yeah, and that would. That would make sense. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Rob was very nice. [00:26:07] Speaker A: No, he was not. [00:26:11] Speaker B: I know [00:26:14] Speaker A: the Rob you're referring to. There is another Rob. [00:26:16] Speaker B: There's another Rob that. Yes. No, no, no. [00:26:17] Speaker A: There is another Rob who is still very nice. [00:26:20] Speaker B: It's very nice. Yes. [00:26:21] Speaker A: But the other Rob who is still very nice. He. He was not in Scouts though. He's still very nice. He has helped me out even though he didn't have to way later in life. So anyways, anyway, that's what marshmallows are good for. Dan, We've got. Anyway, we've got Sunboy is. Who looks a lot like Sean Cassidy. [00:26:46] Speaker B: Because it does. Oh, my gosh. Wow. [00:26:49] Speaker A: You can't unsee it now. [00:26:50] Speaker B: You can't unsee it. Is he gonna. [00:26:51] Speaker A: Especially when you flip to the next page. Oh, wow. I hope he sings how he's flying on page seven. Oh, wow, that's. That's the Sean Cassidy pose. All you need is some wings, right? [00:27:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I love it. [00:27:06] Speaker A: And anyway, Superman feels the heat. He says it's like flying too close to the sun. I feel like. I feel like Superman would like the sun power. Unless it was red sun. [00:27:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Oh, it'd be great if it was green sun. [00:27:25] Speaker A: Yeah, the sun. Wouldn't that be charging him up? [00:27:28] Speaker B: Yeah, it would be charging. Oh. Oh. [00:27:29] Speaker A: What? Oh, that's not in the mythos, I guess. Okay, so. Well, anyway, Brainiac 5's like, hey, that can't. He can't have turned on us. So Superboy wouldn't do that. And. [00:27:44] Speaker B: Yeah, something's not right. [00:27:46] Speaker A: Sunboy. Sunboy is normal, hot, hot tempered self. [00:27:51] Speaker B: Kind of like. [00:27:53] Speaker A: Kind of like we've got. Brainiac 5 is like the voice of Reason of the Legion 4. [00:27:59] Speaker B: That's crazy talk. [00:28:01] Speaker A: And Sunboy is the hot tempered firebrand of the Legion four. [00:28:06] Speaker B: What? Oh, my. He's like, flame on. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Almost say. You could almost say they're fantastic. [00:28:14] Speaker B: They are fantastical. [00:28:18] Speaker A: Yeah, he Blame on. Yeah. [00:28:20] Speaker B: And Block is like, I'm gonna block you with my big rock body. [00:28:26] Speaker A: Block specifically says, it seems he has followed us through time. Look, he is circling back, and that [00:28:33] Speaker B: is kind of like time because it's a loop. It's like a band he circles. [00:28:37] Speaker A: Does that sound like. Does that sound like the goofy Block dialogue you were getting from the last issue at all? [00:28:43] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:45] Speaker A: This was Block, who could barely lift up the time bubble with words. Oh, Timberwolf was holding the other side, remember, in the last issue? [00:28:55] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:55] Speaker A: And now he's ripping giant, giant pieces of. Of what? Limestone. Limestone. Throwing them at Superman. [00:29:06] Speaker B: I mean, I'm assuming that that block is pretty strong. Limestone to block is probably like us with, you know, like, like Superman says styrofoam. So, I mean, it's, it's, you know, pretty easy for him. [00:29:24] Speaker A: I. I don't recall any, Any, any other time that I recall Bloch exhibiting this sort of superpower. But I guess we can excuse it to an editor and writer that don't know the character. [00:29:37] Speaker B: I see. Womp. Womp. [00:29:44] Speaker A: Anyway, well, it's pretty fantastic if you. [00:29:48] Speaker B: If I don't say so. [00:29:52] Speaker A: Also, Jacques. Jacques is French, the invisible kid. And in this book, he does not have an accent at all. [00:30:02] Speaker B: Oh, [00:30:06] Speaker A: magically, anyway. [00:30:08] Speaker B: Well, that's cool thing about when you have like a. When you put it on, like when you're watching tv and all of a sudden, you know, it just, like, the words come up on the screen. It doesn't have an accent either. Huh. [00:30:26] Speaker A: That is. That. That is true. I guess. Then we get. We flip the page or we go and we get this actually kind of a cool shot of the four of them flanking Superman. [00:30:39] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:30:42] Speaker A: All down at the bottom of page seven there. So exciting. Greg had a big yawn right in the middle of the podcast again. [00:30:49] Speaker B: That's what I do. [00:30:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. And so. [00:30:55] Speaker B: Well, we. We've been going for 30 minutes. I'm already tired. [00:31:02] Speaker A: Why. Why. Why is it taking so long? I don't know. [00:31:07] Speaker B: I don't know, Dan. [00:31:09] Speaker A: And. And so Invisible Kid's flanking Superman. He turns invisible. Superman doesn't seem to know who these heroes are. In fact, he refers to Invisible Kid as the black kid. [00:31:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Different type. [00:31:26] Speaker A: And then he gets hit by Block, who looks just like he should be. Orange. [00:31:34] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, [00:31:37] Speaker A: Because Block is now all of a sudden drawn just like Ben Grimm. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:31:45] Speaker A: Though it is interesting in his art choices. He's got one looking like an X Men that he drew and another one looking like. [00:31:51] Speaker B: Right, Definitely. [00:31:55] Speaker A: We get. We get a horrible ad for oxy here. [00:32:02] Speaker B: You should. You should make. Make a point to that. That you're talking about oxy pads for cleaning your face. Not. [00:32:10] Speaker A: Yeah, not. Oxycontin had not been invented yet, I don't think. Or had it? I don't know. [00:32:15] Speaker B: It probably. It was in its Become as prevalent as it is nowadays. [00:32:22] Speaker A: We get an ad for a stealth bomber. Cool. Apparently you could buy them in comics. Oh, wow. So that's cool. I. I didn't know. Perhaps we'd be saving a lot of money right now if we'd stocked up on those and bought them, because it looks like they. Oh, there's no price here. Oh, send a dollar for a cattle. Oh, that's where they get you. I don't really know how much they are. Send a dollar for the catalog. But the stealth bomber is really a million dollars. [00:32:53] Speaker B: So they're going to get you. [00:32:55] Speaker A: That is. That is totally how they get you. [00:32:58] Speaker B: And you're like, can you just deliver it to my house? And you're like, oh, sorry, million dollars, please. [00:33:06] Speaker A: Well, anyway, Block takes Superman down into the ground. Brainiac's freaking out. He's like, there's something wrong. Something. Something wrong. He's like, we are making a mistake. I can feel it. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Oh, you know, feels it in his bones. Yes. [00:33:25] Speaker A: All the time. All the time. I've thought of Brainiac 5 as a character. Feelings. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Definitely something that he has and he exhibits really well. He is. [00:33:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Intuition. [00:33:36] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:33:37] Speaker A: All of a sudden, in this comic [00:33:39] Speaker B: book, he's an empath. [00:33:40] Speaker A: Right, right. Well, Brainiac 5 has gone from being Intelligence 24, Wisdom 10 to Wisdom 24 Intelligence 10 in, like, three panels here. [00:33:53] Speaker B: Wow. Yeah. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Great. Can your wisdom go up to 24 [00:34:01] Speaker B: if you roll it and you're. And you have the ability to, you know, like, that's your add on your bonus. That. [00:34:11] Speaker A: That would be the most insufferable character just walking around intuiting everything. [00:34:21] Speaker B: It's the, like the. The opposite min. Max and that. Yeah. [00:34:27] Speaker A: Like, I mean, admittedly, though, I mean, the people I play with think I'm insufferable when I have a high intelligence character. I can't imagine why. So. [00:34:36] Speaker B: But if you. Anyway, okay, hold on, hold on. Now that. Now I just have to think about this. What if you were like a block character, but your intelligence was super, super high, but you're also, like, a super strong fighter, so you're really, like, thinking everything through, and then it's like, you [00:34:52] Speaker A: know, I think I would enjoy that. [00:34:55] Speaker B: You would enjoy it. [00:34:55] Speaker A: It's no fun. It doesn't. [00:34:58] Speaker B: I mean, you'd be like, Beast, super smart and super strong. Right. [00:35:05] Speaker A: Beast is super agile, I believe. Super agile. [00:35:07] Speaker B: Super agile. But yeah. And it's like. [00:35:13] Speaker A: Okay, yeah. [00:35:14] Speaker B: So. [00:35:14] Speaker A: Well, super agile in this comic book. [00:35:17] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:18] Speaker A: However, we have all these fake characters here. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:23] Speaker A: And his allegiant apparently doesn't exist. Sunboy says he's going to hit him. Hit Superman with a blast. He gets called out for his curly locks. And then he. Apparently. This is new. Apparently, super. Apparently Sunboy depowers himself, I guess, by [00:35:55] Speaker B: using his power. Yeah. [00:35:58] Speaker A: Apparently would be crazy. [00:35:59] Speaker B: Is if he throws his power into Superman. Like, he's like, I'm gonna get you with this. This blast. And he throws it at him. But, like, because Superman. And he absorbs the. The. The sun power, he's like, power up. Just like my. My Prius battery when I go down a hill and hit the brakes. [00:36:21] Speaker A: Wouldn't you think that's what would happen? [00:36:23] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. And then he just, like, steals his power. [00:36:29] Speaker A: Well, Superman tries to go knockout Sunboy, and he runs into a force shield. [00:36:37] Speaker B: Oh, dang. [00:36:39] Speaker A: And everybody. And Brainiac flies like. Everybody, stop. That's not Superboy. [00:36:44] Speaker B: Oh, man. And Time's over. [00:36:46] Speaker A: Sun Boy's like, oh, Sun Boy. I mean, Sean Cassidy was. [00:36:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh. [00:36:53] Speaker A: He's like. He was moving so fast. He's like, why did you attack us? And he's like, it was unintentional. [00:36:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:00] Speaker A: Like, who are you? Wait, who are you? Superman should know who the Legion is. He doesn't know who the future as a Superboy and. [00:37:09] Speaker B: Yep. [00:37:10] Speaker A: Inspired them. [00:37:11] Speaker B: Something has broken inside this Superman. [00:37:16] Speaker A: And then we get a very confused Superman. And at the bottom of the page, we get a brief retelling. What? [00:37:24] Speaker B: Why does Brainiac look like Zach from Saved by the Bell? [00:37:33] Speaker A: That's a good question. [00:37:34] Speaker B: It does in that panel. [00:37:36] Speaker A: Well, Brainiac 5 tells the story of three heroes going to the past to recruit. To start recruiting Superboy for their superhero club. And then we get the worst panel in history of comics on page 13 [00:37:51] Speaker B: in an after school club. [00:37:53] Speaker A: No. [00:37:53] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. It's pretty bad. Yeah. [00:37:55] Speaker A: This is the one I posted to the Legion group if anybody from there ever listens to this podcast, which they probably won't. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:06] Speaker A: Superman says, I've never been called Superboy, thus washing away 40 years of history. [00:38:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:21] Speaker A: In one panel. Fantastic. And then this book proceeds to go on to tell the origin of Superboy joining the Legion of Superheroes. And then this is a lot of recapping for apparently people picking up this book. So here's the. Here's the whole thing, though. So it tells the story of super of Adventure Comics 247. Basically, the Legionnaires play a trick on Superboy. They tell him he. That he can join the Legion if he can do one of these three things. He can't do any of those things. But it was all a trick to see if he was persistent and honest. He was. And so the legionnaires invite him to join their superhero group and they say, hooray, he's joined leader superheroes. And then it becomes this giant group that we read about in the Great Darkness Saga and fought Darkseid. And was the. When we were reading that book, was that time period when it was the number two selling book at dc? [00:39:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:26] Speaker A: And then they told us find out about fighting the Fatal Five and the Legion of Supervillains and the Time Trapper, but they don't mention their biggest, best selling story of fighting Darkseid. You know why? [00:39:40] Speaker B: Why? [00:39:42] Speaker A: Well, because Darkseid also wouldn't have known who the Legion of Superheroes were. [00:39:46] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Because it was a different dark side. Right. [00:39:51] Speaker B: And a difference. Yeah. Oh, Wild Times was one of the tests that they made Superboy do. Was it eating a whole sleeve of Ritz crackers or. [00:40:02] Speaker A: It was not, was it? They don't have that trying to eat [00:40:05] Speaker B: a bunch of cinnamon. [00:40:07] Speaker A: No, they don't have those things in the future. Yeah, they don't know. He had to like get things and stuff. If things stop the satellite from falling. And he stopped satellite from falling. But he was supposed to stop a forest fire and he was supposed to catch a bird started one instead of. He's supposed to warn a cruiser. But he had to catch an escape bird from a zoo. And his just stuff. [00:40:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:38] Speaker A: So anyway, also, we know a little bit that. We know a little bit that Superman doesn't know what's going on because he didn't know who cosmic boy was either. Right. So now we get back. And now we get a complete panel by panel recap of the previous story that we just read. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Yes, it's pretty good. I. I was like, I am so glad. This is so good. This is like, I mean, old friends reunited. All right here on the page. Verbatim. [00:41:20] Speaker A: Verbatim. And so we get three pages of story that are just a repeat of what we just read last issue. Four pages of story that we reread last issue, five pages of story. And then we. On page 20. But before we go to page 20 and we pick up the story, I will present to you something. [00:41:40] Speaker B: What's that? [00:41:41] Speaker A: And I will get there really quickly. Well, we were going to see if. Ah. What you thought. So on [email protected] there is an awesome Legion website. Oh yes. And it's. And it's called the Legion of Super Bloggers. But super bloggers and run by a fantastic human named Michael Grabois. Anyway, I think hopefully I didn't mess that up. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Oh, [00:42:22] Speaker A: and they did a panel. So since these are panel by panel, the same. We were talking. Who does it better? John Byrne and Carl Kiesel or Greg Larocque and Mike decarlo. [00:42:35] Speaker B: Oh. [00:42:35] Speaker A: And so I present to you the exact same pages done by. I see different artists. Because, man, if you were buying these books too, how happy were you to get to pay for this and then get a quarter of the book? Be the book you just read, but [00:42:52] Speaker B: it's by different people. So it's different Dan. [00:42:56] Speaker A: Yeah, it's stupid, but that's better. Here's the pages up here. This is in the last issue. [00:43:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:07] Speaker A: And here's the page down here. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Different green. Different. The faces. The faces are different. Oh, wow. That's Pretty cool. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Which one do you like better? [00:43:21] Speaker B: I couldn't tell you, honestly. They're both very unique and very, very different. One is darker and lighter at the same time. Yeah. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Just weird. This one has definitely more consistent coloring and shading. Yeah, I think. Than the burn one does. But that's not burning Kiesel's fault. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Why does. Why does Brainiac look so long in the. The. The second rendition? His face in that panel, he. [00:43:57] Speaker A: He looks so good. [00:43:58] Speaker B: He looks like handsome Squidward. He looks like handsome Squidward. [00:44:02] Speaker A: He does. And he has no nose. [00:44:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. It's so weird. Yeah. [00:44:08] Speaker A: I don't know. Anyway, if you want to see this, you can go to. It's. [00:44:12] Speaker B: It's worth better. [00:44:14] Speaker A: Legion 37 vs Superman 8 at Legion of Super Bloggers. [00:44:21] Speaker B: Yeah, you should do it. It's worth the look. [00:44:24] Speaker A: I actually messed it up. I don't know who does this one. I was on Adventure 247 is where I thought I was going to go. So now I probably said who. I probably said the wrong person. Owning this, so. [00:44:37] Speaker B: And they're not. [00:44:38] Speaker A: My bad. [00:44:39] Speaker B: And then you find out they're not a good person. You give this endorsement to. Strong endorsement. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Well, I will endorse Michael Graboise, history of the Legion, because he has done amazing work, including creating a spreadsheet. Have, like, every appearance. [00:44:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:57] Speaker A: Small, big, whatever. So I may mess up who does [00:45:01] Speaker B: this, but you find out that the other person. Just like their whole entire hobby outside of the Legion is to just put marshmallows in the microwave and microwave marshmallows. [00:45:13] Speaker A: No, they would not do that. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Why not? That sounds like fun. [00:45:16] Speaker A: Just as a general rule, cook hot [00:45:19] Speaker B: dogs and marshmallows at the same time in the microwave. Yeah. [00:45:23] Speaker A: I will eventually get who this person is. And I know who this person is. And I'm totally blanking on it right now. I'm just going to apologize. I will get the blogs correct. [00:45:32] Speaker B: You will, People? I. Dan promises he will. [00:45:36] Speaker A: Yeah. I use two blogs. I should know. This is one of those things. I'm too distracted by John. It's John Byrne's fault. Let's get it on. Let's be honest. Anyway, we get Back to page 20. So we're back to new story now. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Back to the new story. Can't move. Super. [00:45:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Superboy flies in through the time stream with that zapper thing. He zaps everybody. Oh, man, they're frozen. And he stands over everybody. He looks very menacing. [00:46:05] Speaker B: And he's like, I got my plunger. I'm going to plunge everybody. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Oh, it's for somebody that could draw a really nice Superboy page. [00:46:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Be really cool if he could draw Superboy all the time. [00:46:19] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:46:25] Speaker A: Well, that's the end of that one. [00:46:27] Speaker B: Don't miss the next one now. [00:46:30] Speaker A: Now we're going to Adventure Comics 590 or Action. I said adventure Comics. Gosh, I really want to. I'm really trying to protect the legion here. Go into the Absolute 91. Action Comics 591. [00:46:44] Speaker B: There we go. [00:46:46] Speaker A: You two can get there. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Superman versus Super Boy. [00:46:57] Speaker A: This is like, [00:47:00] Speaker B: imagine if you were in Smallville and you looked up into the sky and saw such a fight happening. [00:47:07] Speaker A: Be very confusing. [00:47:09] Speaker B: Who would Booster Gold bet on, The boy or the man? [00:47:16] Speaker A: Booster Gold, I think. I think Booster Gold. Anyway, there we go. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Boosting. [00:47:28] Speaker A: We get an appearance from crypto. All right. This will be great. [00:47:32] Speaker B: This will be great back. [00:47:33] Speaker A: It'll be uplifting. That's wonderful. Look at this. Look what's on the back. [00:47:42] Speaker B: That D and D. Welcome to basic training. [00:47:47] Speaker A: Is this second edition? [00:47:49] Speaker B: I think so. It's 1986. Yeah, yeah. [00:47:54] Speaker A: Do people not like second edition? [00:47:56] Speaker B: No, it's like, [00:48:03] Speaker A: What's their issue with it? What's their issue with the issue? [00:48:05] Speaker B: I think the issue is that there's a lot of changes. Like, so first edition is like, here's the basic rules, and this is what makes it so interesting and fun. And this is where a lot of people like, hey, this is what I grew up with, or whatever. Second edition is like, here's everything that you know, and we're going to change all these things. And then third edition is like, hey, go back to some of the old. The old. The old ways. But we're gonna also keep some of the other stuff, but we're gonna make some different things that make it a little more accessible. Well, and then fourth edition. Well, we know what fourth edition is. [00:48:43] Speaker A: Well, I would say. [00:48:44] Speaker B: What do you think about fourth edition, Dan? I. [00:48:47] Speaker A: Look, I just play the game. I don't know anything about. [00:48:50] Speaker B: Do you think about it, though? [00:48:52] Speaker A: I don't know anything. Like, this is. This is what happens to me. I try to do something, and then they go, oh, no, that spell changed. It's now this way. And I go, oh, okay. And then when they got the new edition from fifth edition, right? [00:49:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:08] Speaker A: Is it fifth now? I think, no, there's a new one now. 5E. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:49:12] Speaker A: No, it's five now. Right. So then I was trying to do something, and they're like, ah, no, that spell changed. That wasn't a good one to take anymore because it has new rules now. And I'm like, that's dumb. [00:49:24] Speaker B: Everything changes, just like Pokemon building the deck. [00:49:28] Speaker A: So, yeah, I'm not a big fan of change. Also, we. We just. We just got a question. [00:49:33] Speaker B: Oh, we did? [00:49:35] Speaker A: Yeah. From listener Jason. [00:49:36] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. What's the question? Is it about the question? [00:49:41] Speaker A: So he says, what is this baseball game? [00:49:47] Speaker B: He wants to play? The baseball game that you're playing, that you're not playing, that you've been probably playing. Oh, no. You're gonna start playing the game. [00:49:53] Speaker A: I'm not doing so good. [00:49:54] Speaker B: You haven't been playing the game at all this episode. You've been doing so good. [00:49:58] Speaker A: What game, everybody? It's right here. [00:50:00] Speaker B: Dan is not playing the baseball game right now. I'm so proud of him. But as soon as Now. Now Jason has derailed him. Now everybody's gonna be like, dan, what are you playing? What's this game? [00:50:10] Speaker A: Oh, no. I've lost two games since we've been on podcast. Everybody's gonna be chasing me. [00:50:15] Speaker B: Well, that's. It's putting the. It's putting the. The jinx on you. It's putting the. The hex. The J. Hex. [00:50:24] Speaker A: Jason, this is out of the park. Baseball 27, it is a. Has two halves of it. One is a giant simulator where you can simulate anything. You can create leagues. You can play them with each other. Maybe you and I want to do that. Maybe we want to make our own league and have a whole bunch of listeners play it with us. That would be very much. That'd be very fun. I don't think Greg would want to do this, but Palmer would do it with us. He has the game, so we could do that. It has a. That version. And then it has a second piece called Perfect Team, where you get baseball cards and you try to create your team, and you compete with people worldwide and you acquire cards, and I do it without spending money. Other people spend money. They are probably more successful than me, but this is my obsession. I noticed that I hadn't played it since the. I hadn't played it for a long time, I think since it said the 2021 edition, but I don't think that's true. [00:51:20] Speaker B: Oh, you know, I think you took a break for a hot minute, but [00:51:24] Speaker A: I took a break for, like, four years because I get used to it. [00:51:27] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:51:28] Speaker A: Gambling. [00:51:29] Speaker B: I remember you would come to the store, and you're like, just. [00:51:33] Speaker A: I was doing it on my phone. [00:51:34] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. He was Everybody, it was. It was like watching Game Gremlin take over Dan playing this thing, because he would be like, well, the good news [00:51:47] Speaker A: is I don't need to worry about being obsessed with anything else while I'm doing this. [00:51:51] Speaker B: That's true. That's true. [00:51:53] Speaker A: So I'm not obsessed with, like, other humans. I'm not obsessed with relationships. I'm not obsessed with work. I'm not real, literally anything but this. Comics. Yeah. What? [00:52:04] Speaker B: He's just doing this. [00:52:05] Speaker A: He's down. [00:52:06] Speaker B: He's just like, oh, come on, give me some good cards. Let me sell them for some silver. [00:52:12] Speaker A: Just a fair warning, Jason. It is addictive. [00:52:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:18] Speaker A: Okay. So I have. I actually have 42 packs to rip. [00:52:22] Speaker B: Oh, geez. [00:52:23] Speaker A: After. Yeah, I saved them all up. I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for the this week's limited edition cards to drop, and that way they might be in the packs. I'm going to open all 42 packs, and I'm going to be massively disappointed when you get. I don't get one of the. I get nothing. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Is this good boy prices? Yeah. [00:52:44] Speaker A: So anyway, well, that's kind of like [00:52:45] Speaker B: when I did the Pokemon pre release, I, I. Everybody was like, oh, oh, I want this. I want this. I want this. And I'm just like, just watching everybody and I'm like, I don't even know. I don't even. [00:53:00] Speaker A: Celebrating their sadness. [00:53:02] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I like to play, but I'm like, I, I didn't know anything about what was coming out, so. But then he said, it looks really fun. [00:53:15] Speaker A: I'm about to get screwed. So there we go, jumping back into action. [00:53:19] Speaker B: Comics. [00:53:20] Speaker A: Comics. Yeah. 591. [00:53:22] Speaker B: 591. [00:53:24] Speaker A: Crypto. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Doing what dogs do. [00:53:29] Speaker A: Beating up Superman. [00:53:30] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. That's what happens sometimes, you know, the, the, the, you get, get the young buck and he got like, you know, just like, got that. What do you, what do you think you got on me, old man? I can, I can take you. And then, you know, they're sitting there, they're fighting because, you know, look at [00:53:54] Speaker A: these M M's here, all fighting. [00:53:59] Speaker B: That's wild. That's just like Superman and Superboy. [00:54:02] Speaker A: You won't find these weird tan ones in there anymore. [00:54:05] Speaker B: No? Why not, Dan? Why don't you find the tan ones in there anymore? [00:54:09] Speaker A: We got the red back. [00:54:11] Speaker B: I used to like the tan ones. [00:54:14] Speaker A: Of course you did. [00:54:15] Speaker B: I liked all the M M's, though. [00:54:19] Speaker A: They do all taste the same. [00:54:21] Speaker B: No, they don't. It's true. They don't no, they don't. [00:54:24] Speaker A: They are, in fact, the same flavor. [00:54:27] Speaker B: No, it is. It's a scientifically proven fact that not all of them. [00:54:31] Speaker A: That they are the same flavor. [00:54:33] Speaker B: No, there is a different. There's a difference. [00:54:36] Speaker A: That the dye does not change the flavor at all. [00:54:38] Speaker B: Or the. The yellow ones taste like banana and the orange ones taste like oranges. [00:54:43] Speaker A: Not true. [00:54:44] Speaker B: And the green ones taste like mint. [00:54:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not true. None of that is true. [00:54:50] Speaker B: I'm thinking Smarties again. [00:54:54] Speaker A: And you're thinking of disgusting things. Okay? So let's. [00:54:58] Speaker B: Oh, wait, those aren't Smarties. Smarties are. Those taste like. Those taste like chalk. Yeah. [00:55:06] Speaker A: Anyways, we've got a story here with pencils and inks again by John Byrne. This one's penciled and inked background inks by Keith Williams. Lettering John Costanza. Coloring Tony Zuko. Or Tom Zuko. Sorry, not Tony Zuko. That would be a whole different thing. [00:55:25] Speaker B: That would be a whole different thing. [00:55:26] Speaker A: And editing by Mike Carlin and Andy Helfer. Again, did you know Superman and Superboy were created by Jerry Siegel? [00:55:36] Speaker B: What? [00:55:37] Speaker A: And Joe Schuster. Which is not true. Superboy is a derivative character. [00:55:43] Speaker B: Super. Yeah, Superboy is a derivative character of Superman. But you would think that a Superboy would have come before Superman. But no, a Superboy comes after Superman. [00:55:56] Speaker A: But they get credits for all. Jerry Siegel gets credit for all derivative characters. [00:56:00] Speaker B: All derivative characters. [00:56:02] Speaker A: All of them. [00:56:03] Speaker B: I mean, even after the fact. So, you know, it makes sense. [00:56:09] Speaker A: So anyway, the stasis, Ray. Superboy zaps them. [00:56:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:17] Speaker A: And Superman is freaking out. It can't be the face, the voice. That's me. [00:56:21] Speaker B: That is him. [00:56:23] Speaker A: As I was over a decade ago, so. Over a decade ago. So approximately 10 years. [00:56:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:56:28] Speaker A: So maybe. Maybe 12 years told. [00:56:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:31] Speaker A: So like 15 at most. [00:56:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:34] Speaker A: So that places Superman between 26 and 31. [00:56:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Somewhere in there. Just old enough to be, you know, like, figuring life out and starting a family. A super family. [00:56:49] Speaker A: Now, it's interesting because he draws Superman in this issue a little bit thinner. [00:56:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Well, you know, if you flip to [00:56:59] Speaker A: page two and three, so he's not looking, and it's the same. It's still all burn. [00:57:04] Speaker B: Maybe. Maybe we got a Superman that's more. He's super boyish. He's watching his boyish figure. He's. He drops some weight. [00:57:14] Speaker A: He had it. [00:57:14] Speaker B: Well, he had to make the fight even. [00:57:16] Speaker A: Right. [00:57:17] Speaker B: He had to drop a couple pounds to make this fight a little. A little better. He'd get in the same weight class [00:57:23] Speaker A: as Superboy it is in the same weight class. That's true. [00:57:26] Speaker B: You know, so. [00:57:28] Speaker A: Well, anyway, he leaves Superman there. He stacks the legionnaires up like cordwood as he says it and starts flying them away. Superman becomes unfrozen, though, and he starts chasing after the time bubble. [00:57:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:45] Speaker A: And he grabs on to Superboy's foot as Superboy flies through time. And he starts whining, oh, it's so fast. I'm so dizzy. I don't know what to do. It hurts. [00:58:00] Speaker B: I mean, I would just hold on to his little feats and just like, [00:58:03] Speaker A: maybe he should have stayed home and built model cars. [00:58:05] Speaker B: Oh, damn it. Wouldn't hurdle if you hurdle, huh? Yeah. [00:58:13] Speaker A: Or he could bang the tang. [00:58:15] Speaker B: Hang that. That sounds that. Dan. [00:58:21] Speaker A: Wait, that's what this is? This whole advertisement's about? [00:58:27] Speaker B: I know, it does say, wow, the 80s are different. Pledge [00:58:36] Speaker A: that and rhubarb and pie. [00:58:38] Speaker B: So, yeah, Superman's got a funny face on that panel you never see. It's like. That's like. That is like. What kind of face is that? Is that. Is that Superman in pain or is that Superman take out a super poop? He. [00:58:53] Speaker A: He. I don't know. [00:58:57] Speaker B: He could see him. [00:59:00] Speaker A: It might be Danny Chase. [00:59:02] Speaker B: Oh, it is Danny. Oh, my gosh. [00:59:05] Speaker A: As a Danny Chase face. [00:59:07] Speaker B: Danny Chase face. [00:59:08] Speaker A: You're calling it the wrong thing. It's Danny Chase face. [00:59:10] Speaker B: It's Danny Chase face. It is Danny Chase face. [00:59:14] Speaker A: Wow. Well, anyway, we keep going and Superboy has. We get some landing. I don't know what's going on around me. There's lots of noise if you hear it right now, so I don't know what's happening. [00:59:31] Speaker B: Well, there's lots of noise on the panel. Wham. Track. Yeah. [00:59:37] Speaker A: What if we had to take a drink for every one of those noises? [00:59:40] Speaker B: Jeez, this book would be nuts. This book is so loud. I mean, there's like. There's three of them, four of them. So many. [00:59:50] Speaker A: Well, Superman flies. Yeah. He falls down like a comet. Like a. Or a meteor. [00:59:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:56] Speaker A: He lands. Pete's really distressed. He runs over there. [01:00:02] Speaker B: He's like. [01:00:03] Speaker A: And speaking of comments, that's why I was distracted. We flipped to the next page and there's crypto. Oh, man. [01:00:09] Speaker B: And he's chasing. [01:00:10] Speaker A: He's a good boy. [01:00:11] Speaker B: He's a good boy. Crypto's got a funny face in this book. I don't like it. [01:00:15] Speaker A: You don't like Krypto's face in this book? [01:00:17] Speaker B: No. [01:00:17] Speaker A: So we. We've decided John Byrne cannot draw dogs. [01:00:20] Speaker B: No. Well, that, that bottom panel right there, that does not look like a. That. That. That face is not the kind of face of a dog that I want coming near me like, hey, buddy, how are you? Oh my God, you look a murder dog. [01:00:37] Speaker A: So it's like a duck bill. Yeah, it's a duck bill to redraw those duck bills. [01:00:42] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. Redraw those duck faces. [01:00:45] Speaker A: Those dog faces for people that don't know what we're talking about. All of Jack Kirby's duck bills were redrawn because he cannot draw a duck. [01:00:56] Speaker B: That is true. I mean, he can draw a duck, but he can't draw a duck bill. [01:01:00] Speaker A: Apparently. I think he drew. [01:01:01] Speaker B: I think. [01:01:02] Speaker A: I'm sure his deck bills were just fine when we saw them. [01:01:04] Speaker B: Him. Did you see one that he had drawn that was not redrawn? [01:01:08] Speaker A: I thought. I thought it was fine. We saw the pencils. Well, anyway, we. We go to the end of time. [01:01:15] Speaker B: All the way to the end Citadel [01:01:17] Speaker A: at the end of time. And there's the Time Trapper again, standing [01:01:20] Speaker B: on top of a bunch of sticky notes. Yeah, [01:01:25] Speaker A: he is standing on sticky notes. [01:01:28] Speaker B: And Roman, Michelle are there. [01:01:30] Speaker A: We invented these. He's. Haha. I've been tricking these kids the whole time. Aha. I'm the living embodiment of time. I'm me. And an eternity passed, and he had a ploy and he sent the kids somewhere else. Aha. And he wanted them to be inspired. So this guy sent the kids to the wrong thing. A special pocket universe that was different, you see, where Superboy would grow up and he would grow up and be all by himself, you see? And then that secret pocket universe, that's where he sent the legionnaires to trick them. Haha. Because that's where Superboy was. But in the main university, there was just a Superman. So this whole time, you see, he's been controlling everything. And all of the Legion comic books of all time, they've just been going to the wrong place, but they didn't know it, see? [01:02:33] Speaker B: Oh boy. So the time. The time Trapper Keeper has a pocket in that robe that it has a universe inside it that the Legion is living in. [01:02:42] Speaker A: Correct. [01:02:42] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Actually, he trapped them in the Trapper Keeper in the Trapper Keeper pocket. [01:02:48] Speaker B: Oh, in the pocket of the Trapper Keeper. [01:02:51] Speaker A: Right. So you keep your Superman comics in the front of the Trapper Keeper and you keep your Superboy comics in the pocket back. [01:02:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. Got it, got it. Okay, I'm picking up what you're laying [01:03:04] Speaker A: down with you now. Well, I Know, I'm picking up what you're laying down. I finally put together and figured out what the you were talking about last podcast. [01:03:11] Speaker B: Do you think he's a. [01:03:12] Speaker A: We've got it figured out now. [01:03:13] Speaker B: So it's like a pocket. Like a marsupials. Like, he's a kangaroo? [01:03:18] Speaker A: I. No. Oh, the opposite of what we just discussed. So. [01:03:22] Speaker B: Okay. [01:03:24] Speaker A: And. And kangaroos will hurt you. They will punch you in the face. [01:03:28] Speaker B: I mean, only if antagonized. [01:03:30] Speaker A: You have to punch them in the face. [01:03:32] Speaker B: That's. [01:03:32] Speaker A: I. [01:03:33] Speaker B: Well, no. That will cause you to get a [01:03:35] Speaker A: punch in the face from a kangaroo and then. [01:03:39] Speaker B: Haven't you seen Kangaroo Jack Kirby? [01:03:42] Speaker A: No. [01:03:43] Speaker B: Wouldn't that be a movie to watch? [01:03:46] Speaker A: No. [01:03:46] Speaker B: Where it's a kangaroo that can draw? [01:03:50] Speaker A: No. Okay, so time Trapper Pete Ross grabs Clark out of the crater, and he's walking him through on page 10, and he's like, did you get hit by red kryptonite? Like, why? You're older. And Superman's all confused. He's like, why? These people know me? And then he takes them to the Kent house. But the Kent house is in a farm out in small county. It's a house in Smallville. [01:04:18] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. And it's right down the street with a picket fence around it. That is. [01:04:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And they open the door, and it's very confusing because he's like, hey, your son's in trouble. The Kents are all confused. [01:04:33] Speaker B: How do you know? [01:04:34] Speaker A: Like, it really looks like him. Superman's all confused. Ross is like, he's turned into adult and turned him against the legion of superheroes. And then Superboy shows up. It's like, he's not Superboy. I am. [01:04:50] Speaker B: And he. He, like, makes him listen to Wham and throws him up the ceiling. [01:04:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:56] Speaker B: Says, wake me up before you go. Go. [01:05:00] Speaker A: Oh, I thought he was saying, wham, bam, I am a man. [01:05:03] Speaker B: Oh, wham, bam, I'm the man. [01:05:06] Speaker A: Well, it does say wham right there. [01:05:07] Speaker B: Wham. Wham, bam, I'm the Superman. [01:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah, that's Crypto plan. Crypto sees Superman flying, and he's like, master. And he's all confused. He doesn't recognize me. And then Superboy is like, crypto, get out of the way. Get out of the way. That's not me. [01:05:25] Speaker B: That's not me, silly. [01:05:27] Speaker A: And I'm about to be sad here because we're about to kill Crypto. [01:05:32] Speaker B: So die. [01:05:37] Speaker A: He does, though. So Crypto decides to defend Superboy. He grabs Superman's cape. You know what you don't do you never grab super. [01:05:51] Speaker B: You never. Yeah, that's just one thing. [01:05:52] Speaker A: You don't. Superman's cape. [01:05:54] Speaker B: You don't. You don't, you know, spit in the wind. [01:05:57] Speaker A: Well, Superman's cape rips, and we all know that's impossible because Superman's cape is made out of material made by Martha Kent from the blanket in Superman. In Superman's like, rocket ship. Right. Indestructible. [01:06:12] Speaker B: Yeah. This guy's an imposter. He got that. [01:06:14] Speaker A: Who is this? [01:06:15] Speaker B: He got from Amazon. He. He ordered it, like, on a. Like, he got it through the. You know. [01:06:20] Speaker A: He didn't get it from Amazon. John Byrne. Superman is the Timo Temu version of Superman. That's just a fact. And it's not Amazon. He gets his shit from fucking, like, you know, Forever Halloween or whatever. [01:06:33] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's, like, called Halloween. [01:06:37] Speaker A: I just combined two bad things. Forever 21, in the Halloween store at the same time. [01:06:45] Speaker B: That's actually. That's even a better store. Forever Halloween. That's actually a store that would be. That would be the best analog of a store in a. In a. In a book. Where are you going for? I'm going to Forever Halloween. What do they have? It's everything you could ever imagine for Halloween. What. What kind of. [01:07:03] Speaker A: My birthday every day. [01:07:05] Speaker B: It's Forever Halloween. Yeah. Yeah. So he got it at Forever Halloween, and, you know, he got that. And he got some Elton John glasses to go with it. [01:07:15] Speaker A: Well, remember Crypto? Yes. For Saturday nights. Yeah. Crypto is. Just remember, Crypto is highly intelligent. [01:07:24] Speaker B: Yes. [01:07:26] Speaker A: And he went out to space. He. He went out to space. Sometimes he'd do adventures with the Space Canine Patrol. [01:07:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:35] Speaker A: They'd fight evil cats in space. [01:07:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:39] Speaker A: But maybe this is why John Byrne killed Crypto. Because he couldn't draw him effectively. [01:07:47] Speaker B: Probably because he keeps changing his face. His face looks different now. He looks like a damn sock puppet. Look at that bottom panel. He looks like a sock puppet. [01:07:57] Speaker A: Which bottom panel? [01:07:58] Speaker B: The left. [01:07:59] Speaker A: Oh, on 16. [01:08:00] Speaker B: Yeah, page 16. Like, it just does not look like a dog. It looks like a sock puppet or a seal. [01:08:07] Speaker A: Well, he gets. He gets. He gets the kryptonite out, or he goes to the Super Superboy's basement and he gets into the kryptonite. And that's always bad news. Yeah. But instead of grabbing the container, remember, this is a super intelligent dog. Right? [01:08:26] Speaker B: Very. [01:08:26] Speaker A: Not your average dog. [01:08:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:29] Speaker A: He takes the gold kryptonite, which. Gold kryptonite. So he explains all the kryptonite colors, which don't Exist anymore, by the way, because we got rid of the mythos, right? And they'll stay gone forever. We'll never have the different colors of kryptonite again. [01:08:42] Speaker B: Ever. No. Gone. [01:08:45] Speaker A: So green kryptonite can kill a Kryptonian. Red krypt K causes bizarre physical mutations. White K kills only plants. [01:08:55] Speaker B: He grabs the green kryptonite and he opens it up. [01:08:59] Speaker A: No, he grabs the gold. What does gold kryptonite do? [01:09:01] Speaker B: He grabs the green kryptonite. [01:09:04] Speaker A: He does not do that. He grabs the gold kryptonite and gold kryptonite takes away Kryptonian's powers forever. And he opens it, thus getting rid of his own powers. [01:09:18] Speaker B: But he says, no sacrifice is too great to help my master. [01:09:23] Speaker A: That is true. But why wouldn't he just carry the container out? [01:09:29] Speaker B: Because he's a silly dog. [01:09:32] Speaker A: He's now a silly dog. Because he's now bark, bark, barking away. Because he's lost his superpowers. [01:09:38] Speaker B: Yes. [01:09:39] Speaker A: And he's licking Pocket. And Pocket realizes, oh, with the gold kryptonite, I could save my son. So he has an idea, and he runs out with the container. Superboy flies away. He goes up to Superman and he opens the container with all the kryptonite. And he says, it doesn't hurt him. [01:10:04] Speaker B: Oh, no. [01:10:04] Speaker A: He says, and my microscopic vision reveals why. Although these rocks contain all the same elements as kryptonite, the radiation they produce is completely different from the stuff I know. [01:10:18] Speaker B: You didn't put it in a microwave with marshmallows and hot dogs? [01:10:21] Speaker A: No, you cannot. It'd blow it up. So he apparently PA covers the kryptonite back up before it hits Superboy. Hopefully you know why. [01:10:35] Speaker B: I'll. I'll tell you why. Because this Superman is not a Kryptonian. [01:10:42] Speaker A: And then on page 19, we get. We just explained the whole thing. I said before that it didn't seem like your heart was really in this battle. Superboy, Superman's gonna explain everything because he's gonna mansplain. Oh, yeah, Superman, now you're ready. Remember? Now you're ready to concede defeat just because I've got the kryptonite. When, in fact, with your greater speed, you could probably snatch this container from my hand before I've even seen you move. But you're not going to, are you, Superboy? [01:11:16] Speaker B: No. [01:11:16] Speaker A: Because doing that would start the senseless fight going again. And you know full well the only way you can ever beat me is by killing me. And that's something else you're not going to do. You'd already have done it, I think, if you really meant to whining or winning. Sorry, Winning. I. Sorry. Well, I'm extrapolating. This is a big giant whining. But it's winning. Winning has never been part of your game plan, has it? It took me a while to put all the pieces together, but everything indicates that you wanted me to win this fight. Even the stasis ray you zapped the legionnaires and me with. It wore off, at least for me. The Legion members were still frozen, but I was able to pursue you. And then there was the exact moment in place. I arrived in this Smallville right where Pete Ross could see me and take me to the Kent house. You wanted to be sure I'd find you again as quickly as possible, didn't you? It's all there, Superboy. I'd even be willing to bet you knew somehow that this kryptonite was. Wouldn't work on me. Am I wrong? [01:12:21] Speaker B: No. [01:12:23] Speaker A: And super boy looks like he's about to cry. His dad asks him. Or is he? Son, your ma and I have prayed for every day since this madness got started. Super is like, he's right. Superboy starts crying, they hug. And Superman just talks about how meeting everybody, it was so similar, but it wasn't quite the same. Anybody knows him, he knows he wouldn't betray them because he could never betray his friends. So we get an advertisement for the ever long remembered comic, Silver Blade. Ah, you remember that one? [01:13:07] Speaker B: No. Okay, yes, yes. I mean, yes, with all my heart. [01:13:12] Speaker A: I love it. [01:13:12] Speaker B: I love it. [01:13:13] Speaker A: So I don't remember it. [01:13:14] Speaker B: Silver Blade. So great. [01:13:16] Speaker A: It's, it's, you know, can't. If Blade had silver, that would be bad for him, right? Or is that. [01:13:23] Speaker B: No, I mean, he's a day walker, so I mean. Okay, fine. Earthquake. [01:13:30] Speaker A: Well, anyway, we get everybody back together. Superboy's apologizing to the Legion. He's like, we've got to send Superman back home, otherwise it'll mess up time forever. They, they take him to 1987, send him back, and then Superman's like, oh man, they're gone. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I envy this Superboy a little bit. And it says to be continued in Legion of superheroes number 38. And in 592 we get Barda Bardum. Isn't this around the time she's gonna be in Wahaha. Justice league with Mr. Miracle? [01:14:20] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe. [01:14:22] Speaker A: Well, anyway, she's looking very Kirby. John Byrne there yeah, yeah. So we killed crypto in this story for absolutely no reason. Just because we can't have any more Kryptonians, right? [01:14:42] Speaker B: Yeah. You can only have the one. And is he even a real Kryptonian? When you think about it? [01:14:46] Speaker A: If. [01:14:46] Speaker B: If all the Kryptonite didn't bother him. Questions I need answers for Dan. I need an answer. [01:14:56] Speaker A: I. The answer is John Byrne. [01:14:58] Speaker B: Well, the question is, no, we're not. [01:15:01] Speaker A: What? [01:15:01] Speaker B: It comes down. [01:15:02] Speaker A: No, we're not doing pet smart. [01:15:03] Speaker B: Because. No, because I need to know. [01:15:05] Speaker A: We're not doing. [01:15:06] Speaker B: Because John Byrne. John Byrne, really, when it comes down to it, he doesn't care either way if it's pet smart or if the pet's smart. [01:15:20] Speaker A: Yeah, we're not. [01:15:20] Speaker B: He just wants the pet gone. [01:15:25] Speaker A: He wants dead crypto. [01:15:26] Speaker B: He does. That's what it comes down to. He wants the pet gone. [01:15:31] Speaker A: So what do you think so far of this solution to the problem that they created? [01:15:39] Speaker B: It just creates more problems. [01:15:42] Speaker A: It seems to. [01:15:44] Speaker B: And it makes you. Loud car or motorcycle? I don't know. It makes you want to understand why, but at the same time, it also makes you question reality of everything that you've known and everything that you're going to read moving forward, because nothing from this point on makes any sense. Are we in the pocket universe still or. Or are we out of the pocket universe? Or are we just lint inside the pocket of the time trapper Keeper universe? Universe. [01:16:25] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. But it is extremely frustrating. [01:16:29] Speaker B: Yes. [01:16:31] Speaker A: And I'll just say that it's. It's frustrating to the point that it really burns when you're reading it at the time. Well, it did, but when you're. When I was reading at the time, it didn't make any sense to me, Right. Like, I'm like, I don't understand why. Like, I shouldn't say it didn't make any sense. So I didn't read. I hadn't read the Crisis, right? But I had read the Legion books, and now I'd read. Read some Teen Titans books, and now I'm picking up the Superman books, Right. I read Legends, okay. So I did know there was a different [01:17:15] Speaker B: now, was there? [01:17:16] Speaker A: I knew they were relaunching. I knew they were relaunching, but I hadn't read. I had not read man of Steel. I had not been reading Superman. And so all of a sudden the book I've been reading just gets done with this really cool storyline, this universal project storyline, and then all of a sudden we've got. Oh, we have an election, I think. So there was one issue in between. They elect polar boy as leader. Okay. And then all of a sudden, Superboy is on the COVID And I hadn't seen Superboy in a Legion book since I think, like, issue 17. Ish. Maybe even further back. So all of a sudden, Superboy's on the COVID flying through Smallville, and I'm like, why? Okay. So I'm reading the story, and then they're like, oh, you're gonna have to go buy these other two books. [01:18:09] Speaker B: Oh, man. [01:18:11] Speaker A: And I'm like, okay. So I buy this other book, and then I get Superman saying he's never been Superboy before, which doesn't make any sense. [01:18:21] Speaker B: I don't understand. [01:18:24] Speaker A: Right. And I see. I open it, and there's Lana Lang, who this whole thing was to never know who super boy was. Right. That was a Silver Age trope. Right. She could never figure it out. [01:18:37] Speaker B: And now she does. [01:18:38] Speaker A: All of a sudden, she's sitting there. So this was very confusing. So I'm like, why? Because I had not been reading these books, Right. So I'm like, why is Lana sitting there watching Superman but wood their shirt on. [01:18:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:18:52] Speaker A: To make it even more confusing, my little kid self was probably like, nah, Superman's hot. And make it even more confusing to little damn brain. [01:19:04] Speaker B: Why am I. Why am I liking this page so much? And I don't know why. [01:19:09] Speaker A: Why have I read this page so much? So. Yeah. And then why have I read these other books? And then. And then crypto reappears. [01:19:20] Speaker B: Right. [01:19:20] Speaker A: And I'm like, oh, that's cool. [01:19:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:24] Speaker A: And then they immediately kill him. [01:19:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:29] Speaker A: And he does it to himself, which I'm like, this doesn't make any sense. [01:19:32] Speaker B: He wouldn't do that. [01:19:34] Speaker A: He would not do that. I mean, that definitively. Crypto would not do that. [01:19:38] Speaker B: So. Paid him. [01:19:40] Speaker A: I don't. Yeah. So. Yes. I mean, they're succeeding. [01:19:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:45] Speaker A: And you know, it would last so long to just have one Kryptonian in the universe. Right. That's going to last forever and to the point I made before. And we'll keep reading the next issue. We'll lead Regent Legion 38, which is this one here. It's pretty cover cool. But. Yeah. I mean, I don't. They're still. It's. That was 1987. It's 2026, and they're still unwinding some of this. [01:20:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:19] Speaker A: And like I said, I literally just read a book in Action Comics where Mark Wade sort of reintroduces the Pete Ross mythos. Right. [01:20:29] Speaker B: It makes. It makes perfect sense if you're going for a Brightburn story. But, I mean, I just. [01:20:42] Speaker A: It's. [01:20:43] Speaker B: Well, I mean, a singular Kryptonian, you know? [01:20:47] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I. I sort of get it. Like, maybe cleaning up the universe a little bit. I think they could have cleaned up, but they'd already killed Supergirl. [01:20:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:21:02] Speaker A: You know, what if they had left Supergirl dead? Power Girl exists in this universe, so they have the Supergirl analog. Right. [01:21:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:14] Speaker A: Couldn't they have introduced different Kryptonians or had different things? I mean, why did they have to get rid of the whole he's Superboy thing? [01:21:26] Speaker B: I don't know. [01:21:28] Speaker A: I mean, what. What is. As a writer, I guess I'll ask you, like, as a writer, what is limiting by knowing that he had powers as a kid? [01:21:40] Speaker B: I don't think it's that it's limiting. I think that it's. You're. You're trying to sanitize so that you can move your own ideas forward and say, all right, cool, I have a definitive break. And now we know that this is where the stopping point of. Or this is where the starting point is, because it stops being the same as everything else, and it starts fresh from here. [01:22:11] Speaker A: So the Burns claim, supposedly, and I don't have this directly from Burn right now, I have it from others, is that he was just going to leave that alone and just tell this story, and then they ended up doing this, but leaving it alone and just telling that story again. What does the Legion do then? Right. Like, if the Legion's going back in the fast to get Superman. [01:22:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:22:37] Speaker A: To come help them with something. [01:22:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:22:41] Speaker A: He doesn't know who they are. It didn't make any sense. And admittedly, Legion of Superheroes should not exist if there's no Superboy. Right. In DC continuity. [01:22:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:22:54] Speaker A: Because they were inspired by the whole thing. Well, yeah, they. They saved RJ Brand, and then he [01:23:01] Speaker B: was [01:23:03] Speaker A: based on the classic heroes of the past. And so now they have to be inspired by something else. [01:23:09] Speaker B: Booster Gold. [01:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. I mean, later, it's going to be Monel. [01:23:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Which, I mean, Kryptonian. [01:23:19] Speaker A: Yeah. It goes by Valor. I mean, so they. They have to create a. I mean, they basically have to create. So this story allows them to still be inspired by Superboy. Right. Because he's in a super pocket universe, and so they could still be inspired by him. [01:23:33] Speaker B: Super. [01:23:34] Speaker A: But then if you get rid of the pocket universe, then who inspires them? Yeah. Anyway, it's just. It just Seems like a shitty thing to do to one of your best selling books. [01:23:46] Speaker B: It is. [01:23:46] Speaker A: It's to pacify a writer who came over that you paid a bunch of [01:23:51] Speaker B: money to, to say, hey, you're gonna get to do whatever you want. And he's like, cool, I'm gonna start my own thing. And I mean, maybe I. None of us were in the room, so we don't know, but I mean, maybe he really pitched a great idea. And the great idea is that, you know, he's gonna create this amazing story that goes with all this and that it's going to continue this, this follow through, this through line and we're going to, we're going to get this, this great new story. [01:24:25] Speaker A: Well, I think the great idea is we just paid John Byrne to peel him away from Fantastic Four and X Men. [01:24:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:24:32] Speaker A: Which he wasn't even drawing X Men at this point. Right, right. It was the. They had already turned it over to younger artists. And we're going to peel him away and we're going to have popularity artist, we're going to have this great artist come over here and write Superman. [01:24:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:24:52] Speaker A: And draw it. [01:24:53] Speaker B: And you get that popularity crossover, the name. [01:24:58] Speaker A: And we're going to. And since we're paying him, we're going to let him do his thing. [01:25:04] Speaker B: Makes sense. [01:25:06] Speaker A: And, and again too. I mean, there are obviously other factors here. Right? There are other factors at play. Now, I pulled up the Comicron before the podcast started. I can't get you an exact one because I'm looking at the Diamond Monthly. And so this was August, which means the solicits would have been in like May. Right. The closest solicits I can get are for Superman number 10, which was. This was Diamond Solicits. Superman number 10 was at number 17 in the rankings. So we mentioned that, you know, a year and a half ago the book started out at 1 or 2. Your rankings here, Uncanny X Men, X Factor, Punisher X Factor Annual, Silver Surfer, Doom Patrol is number six. That's a number one though. That's why. For that month. So it's a number one. That book's not going to stay there because that's the Paul Kupperberg version of the Doom Patrol long before you get to the Grant Morrison version. So that book's going to fall out of that real quick. Nom. Number 11. [01:26:17] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [01:26:19] Speaker A: That book was hot for like a year. GI Joe 64, Amazing Spider man annual 21 and New Mutants number 56 round out the top 10. Amazing Spider man does not crack the top 10 at 293. All right. Number 293 is at number 11. Here's telling you. So Superman's number 17. Classic X Men. The X Men reprint book number 14 is at number 12. And the Superman first printing mainline book is number 17. Your first DC book is Justice League number six at number 14. So again they brought Burn in to revitalize Superman. The relaunch justice league at issue 6 still selling more than the relaunch Superman. So the Giffen and Dematis more popular than the Burn Superman. Not surprising you at all because you were reading one and not the other. [01:27:22] Speaker B: And not really surprising. It's like you kind of, you, you kind of think like, okay, well it makes sense, but it's also, it's like, [01:27:33] Speaker A: well, now New Teen Titans. [01:27:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:27:38] Speaker A: Which was their top selling book now at A$50 instead of 75 cents. [01:27:44] Speaker B: That's a change. Yeah. [01:27:46] Speaker A: Drops in, drops in at. Yeah. Well, because it's the Baxter. It's the same paper. So we're well into it. We're at issue 36. Legions at issue 37. Or no legion at this one. Legion would have been at super issue 40. So new Teen Titans 36 at number 47 in the rankings now you get twice as much for the book, but it costs more to produce the book. So their, their bestselling book is now dropped to number 47 in the monthly rankings. [01:28:12] Speaker B: Dang. But it's a better book. [01:28:15] Speaker A: Legion of Superheroes 39, which is right after this at number 60 in the rankings. And Legion of Super Errors Annual 3 is at 62 in the rankings on this list. Young All Stars is next to Legion in the rankings. [01:28:36] Speaker B: And Young All Stars doesn't really. I mean they, they get how many issues? 28. [01:28:43] Speaker A: Yeah. 25. Ish. [01:28:44] Speaker B: Okay, so it's like they, it's not even. It's like they, they have a pretty okay start, but it's not, it's like, like it's like one season of a TV show, you know? [01:28:55] Speaker A: No, you're, you're getting the Legion. Legion is now down by the, the Marvel books, like the Star brand line. That line. [01:29:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:29:09] Speaker A: That's where Legion is ranking. Yes. [01:29:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, and if like. Yeah. [01:29:14] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, to put it in context, dropping ElfQuest is at 75. [01:29:22] Speaker B: Well, ElfQuest is amazing. Dan Travis loves ElfQuest. [01:29:27] Speaker A: It wasn't a big selling book, but it's so good. [01:29:31] Speaker B: It doesn't need to be a big selling book. It just needs to be solid. [01:29:36] Speaker A: Well, it ran forever, so. [01:29:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:29:38] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like Savage Dragon doesn't have to be a big selling book if it runs forever. [01:29:42] Speaker B: Just keeps going and going. It's like a royal vacation anyway. [01:29:47] Speaker A: So, you know, people can argue all they want about John Byrne's intent and what was going on there, but the sales numbers show it all. People bought it when he started it and quickly dropped off. [01:30:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:30:05] Speaker A: And if that was going to be your flagship, you just. [01:30:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:30:10] Speaker A: And you notice what wasn't up there yet. [01:30:13] Speaker B: What's that, Booster Gold? [01:30:15] Speaker A: Well, people want to say that Dark Knight Returns revitalized Batman. Right. But it did not. [01:30:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:30:21] Speaker A: It wasn't until the movie happens that Batman gets revitalized more years. And so we're a couple years from that. [01:30:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, and even at that, it doesn't. Well, it doesn't. It revitalizes it, but it doesn't. It puts it into the forefront of people's minds, but it doesn't necessarily make people. It makes people go, oh, wow, okay, cool. But it doesn't. It's not. I, I can't say it's not like for. It's hard to. It's hard to. [01:30:59] Speaker A: Well, Batman's. Well, I'll put it. I will quantify it for you. Action comics was at 31, Batman's at 33. And the George Perez Wonder Woman number nine is at 36. [01:31:09] Speaker B: Okay. But then in detectives at 37. [01:31:12] Speaker A: So they are. And Adventures of Superman's at 39. So they're all just average selling books. [01:31:19] Speaker B: Average selling books right now. And then the summer. Well, then like we put it in the summer of 89. Do we see Batman jump to number one? I don't think it jumps to number one, but it probably crests that top 10. [01:31:36] Speaker A: I'm sure it jumps way up. Yeah. And for context, too, remember I said, so Batman's at 33 at 75 cents. [01:31:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:31:42] Speaker A: Cover. New Teen Titans was at 47 at a dollar 50 cent cover. [01:31:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:31:49] Speaker A: So I know the books cost more to make, but those are direct sales, so those are guaranteed sales. No, there's no returns on those. [01:31:57] Speaker B: Right. [01:31:59] Speaker A: Teen Titans book is down further in the rankings, but there's no return because it's going to a direct sale, right? [01:32:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it's coming. Right. [01:32:05] Speaker A: But you're still getting returns on. You're still getting returns on the newsstand books. [01:32:09] Speaker B: Yeah. On the new stand books. You're getting those, those tears at the end of the month and. [01:32:14] Speaker A: Yeah. So actually, and I'm, I'm. And I'm full of shit here because this is Diamond So this is all direct sales. [01:32:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:32:21] Speaker A: But I believe the comic shops could return the newsstand books, right? [01:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can still, they can still do the tears and send back the covers. [01:32:33] Speaker A: 89 year end. Let's go there. Yeah, 89 year end has all sorts of Batman March. 89, Batman 433 was the top selling book in March. Batman top selling book in May, June, July, August. And then Legends of the Dark Knight is the top selling book in September, October, November and December. 89. So you got the movie there. Yeah, that's Forum. Oh, that's from Capital City and Diamond, it was Legend of the Dark Knight where the. Yeah. Was top. It was a little bit different basically. But you have either distributed, you have a trade offs between Uncanny and. And Batman as. [01:33:21] Speaker B: As what number? [01:33:23] Speaker A: So, well, so 89 for diamond, it was uncanny. 244, 245, 246, 247 and 248 are at the top. And then starting In June, Batman 437. 439, 440. That's June, July, August. And then Legends of the Dark Knight is September, October, November, December. [01:33:43] Speaker B: That makes sense. Like running through the rest of the year. So people are picking it up after the movie, but it's definitely, it's definitely after the summer has let out. The movie has touched everybody in that sense. And kids are now like mom, dad and E. Batman. Or people in high school are like, okay, yeah, let's get those Batman books. [01:34:12] Speaker A: And then of course, the next year, Batman, Legends of Dark Knight holds out through the end of the maxi series through seven, issue seven. Then you get a couple more issues of Batman and then you get a book in June of 1990 drawn by some unknown artist. Yeah, that owned a comic shop that we went to. Yeah, yeah, some Spider man number one. [01:34:35] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [01:34:36] Speaker A: And then Spider man is June, July, August, September, October, November, December. [01:34:44] Speaker B: It's. [01:34:46] Speaker A: It's so Spider man replaces Batman. And Spider man didn't need a movie. It just needed a hot artist. [01:34:51] Speaker B: Hot artist and something interesting. Well, they had interesting storylines. I mean, we joked about it earlier on the covers that were the covers really drew you in. The web caught you, but I mean [01:35:06] Speaker A: the web literally caught you with the first issue. [01:35:08] Speaker B: The interesting thing though is though, Dan, I mean, it's not like we didn't have comic book movies in the past, like in the early 80s. It's not like we didn't have a handful of Superman movies or at least four Superman movies before Batman came out and a supergirl and don't forget a Birdman movie as well. Which really, I mean, there was a comic book that came with Birdman Condor Man. Sorry if I say Birdman Condor Man. It's the same thing. Is a condor and a bird. [01:35:43] Speaker A: He's just a small town bird lawyer. [01:35:44] Speaker B: He's a. Yeah, Harvey. That was in the future though. Without Condor man, you don't get Birdman. [01:35:53] Speaker A: Birdman is in the future and the [01:35:55] Speaker B: past in the past. That is true at the point this [01:35:58] Speaker A: comic book was made. But we should wrap this up because we are now past when you are allowed to podcast. [01:36:06] Speaker B: I know. This is a very long. This is a long episode, everybody. Oh my gosh. [01:36:11] Speaker A: Well, we got into the Comic Con stuff. I just. If you want to support Comic Con, by the way, do it. I am a Patreon supporter. I give them not a lot, a couple bucks a month. But I think John Jackson Miller is the name on the contact. This site is fantastic. If you're doing comics history stuff and you're tired of arguing with people and you want to use just facts, you can just show them that the Superman stuff was a blip and then it goes away and it's this ever churning thing. Right? And we can show it with the Batman stuff too. [01:36:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:36:49] Speaker A: And this is all leading down a very dark road because pushing these books with the number one issue, first issue, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, is going to lead to a collapse of the entire industry. So. [01:37:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:37:05] Speaker A: But anyway, we should leave on a happier note. I said the podcast is ending. I mentioned that Greg has things to do. Greg has things to do to support the retro emporium in Kent, Washington. [01:37:16] Speaker B: That's right, I do. [01:37:17] Speaker A: You should go there. You should go there. You should go there to see Anne, you should go there to see Greg. You should go there to relive your childhood. But you know what you won't see there? You will not see the Squacho Man. [01:37:28] Speaker B: That may or may not be true. [01:37:30] Speaker A: Greg has banned him from. I have not banned him from unjust employer. [01:37:35] Speaker B: No, he stops spreading. You're spreading lies. You're making rumors up and you're talking smack about what? Yeah, about me. Well, I will be consulting with you, lawyer Paul Squatch Omado. You whatever you. You say you will do. You even said that the, the. The. The jujitsu lawyer Paul was going to be on the show last week to represent the Squatcher man. He was stupid and he was too busy doing what we don't know. [01:38:05] Speaker A: But I was working on an arbitration. You should be shaking in your boots. [01:38:09] Speaker B: Not. Not for. Not for me. The Squach O man Squatch A man reached out to me to let me know that he hopes that I have a good day. [01:38:25] Speaker A: Until we hear from the Squatch A man, we don't believe anything. Second thing. [01:38:29] Speaker B: Yes? [01:38:29] Speaker A: We need to talk about. Of course, you know, you could also, if you need. If you need a book to read. [01:38:37] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:38:40] Speaker A: I'm going to put a link into. Follow the Kickstarter for when it launches sometime in 2030. [01:38:50] Speaker B: Yeah, [01:38:53] Speaker A: and that book is called Cyborg Squatches. Oh, the Revenge of the Cyborg Squatcho Man. I see in the rain. [01:39:06] Speaker B: Well, if you want a Kickstarter, you can actually back right now. You can go check out Brian J. Sheridan's book. It is Nighthawks on Kickstarter. He's a friend of Travis and mine, and it's a fantastic book that Travis and I both got to read prior to him launching. It's a. It's a noir detective crime book. So I'm gonna. I'm. I'm throwing my. My hat in the ring on endorsements here. Nighthawks. [01:39:40] Speaker A: It's. [01:39:41] Speaker B: It is quite good. So check it out on Kickstarter because it might take a while to get to that cyber. [01:39:53] Speaker A: The. [01:39:53] Speaker B: The. What did you call it? Squacho Borg Squasho Borg book. But. But Nighthawks is out there right now waiting for you to back it. [01:40:05] Speaker A: Well, back Nighthawks. [01:40:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:40:08] Speaker A: We will be back next week with Legion of superheroes number 38. And if you want to be on the podcast when I cry, you can join us. [01:40:19] Speaker B: Nobody wants. Nobody. Nobody wants to see you cry, Dan. [01:40:23] Speaker A: I already cried when I read it the first time, so I'll probably be okay when you're doing the podcast. [01:40:27] Speaker B: That's good. So that means. [01:40:30] Speaker A: Actually, I credit. I. I said the first time, right? I should say I cried when I reread it the first time because I've cried many times reading this book. [01:40:38] Speaker B: Oh, no. Dan's gonna be playing his baseball game while we. We do the podcast, so he doesn't cry. [01:40:45] Speaker A: That is not true. I do not play the baseball game during the podcast. You did last week. Why not? [01:40:51] Speaker B: You did, too. And the week before that, too. You're a liar. [01:40:55] Speaker A: Maybe the week before that. [01:40:56] Speaker B: Yeah. See? Boy, oh, boy. [01:40:59] Speaker A: All right, well, I guess we're done. [01:41:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:41:03] Speaker A: At least I don't yawn in the middle. [01:41:04] Speaker B: I can't help it. I'm tired. I'm an old man. [01:41:07] Speaker A: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, bye. We'll see you next week. [01:41:11] Speaker B: See you, Sam.