Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Click. Yes.
[00:00:05] Speaker B: I just was silent.
[00:00:06] Speaker A: I clicked silent.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: I think I caught click on the audio. I don't know what's happening right now.
Are we starting a podcast?
[00:00:13] Speaker A: We are starting a podcast. I mean, we've started a podcast before, but this is a new episode of that same podcast we've created.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: It's like the Metaverse created the podcast.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: Now we're recording the podcast.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: What if I gave away the ending of Starlight, which I almost did, even though it hasn't been sent out yet?
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Oh, oops. Well, that'd be terrible.
It will be sent out shortly and soon. Actually, I have a copy for you.
No, I have an actual copy.
Yeah?
[00:00:49] Speaker B: What?
[00:00:50] Speaker A: For you.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: Okay, well, just for.
[00:00:53] Speaker A: Yeah, actually, just for you.
From Travis to me. For you.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Well, that's funny, because I'm going to see Travis very soon.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Well, then you might.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: In fact, I'm going to see Travis.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: You might get a copy from him instead.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Then I'll have multiple copies.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: No, you'll get the one we don't have. We can't afford to give out multiple copies to people. Dan, you comic book hoarder.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: I'm not a person.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: I'm Dan, Comic book hoarder.
I did order. I didn't say orderer. I said hoarder. Hoarder of the books. You are. I'm looking behind you. I see nothing but comic books.
Yes.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: You know, it could be a good thing to have nothing but comic books. I could think of worse hobbies. I could have a lot of crap.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: That's true. That's true.
When the power went out, when the Internet and cable was out last week, I read nothing but comic books. So real comic books. Comic.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: See, if the Internet and cable goes out, then I will have infinite reading.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Or if the power goes out and you need a fuel supply to make a fire, you could burn some of them.
What?
Just the ones? Just the ones.
[00:02:17] Speaker B: I don't understand.
[00:02:18] Speaker A: Just your doubles. Just your doubles.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. Like Strike Force. No, Strike. Not Strike Force. What am I thinking?
[00:02:30] Speaker A: Strike.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: Strike.
[00:02:34] Speaker A: Cyber Force.
[00:02:35] Speaker B: Cyber Force?
Yes.
No, not. Not awkward. No, like Cyber Force. Like image.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: But I think if you're. If you're burning something like that, with its foil brigade, you could burn Brigade. But then again, with the foil cover, you're going to get that weird smoke in your house.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: I don't think it had a foil cover. Cyber Force, probably.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: Sure it did.
[00:03:01] Speaker B: Cyber Force. I actually kept reading it.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: Didn't you just like the. You. You like the artwork on. On the covers?
[00:03:09] Speaker B: And I Did I did like the artwork. Yeah, like a little metal.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: It looked neat stuff. Let's not.
[00:03:16] Speaker B: The Liquid Brigade was.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: It looks so cool, all of them.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: I think actually it didn't really look that cool. The first one didn't have like a white cover with Lifeield art on it. I think we thought it was cool at the time.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: It sounded cool, but if you look back, I think it was the letter. Like the. The. When you look at the title of it and the way that that title was done, it just looks so neat. It was so big and bold. Brigade. It just sounded cool. Like, oh, man, I gotta get this book. It sounds so badass.
[00:03:56] Speaker B: I think more we. I thought it was cool and maybe you. Obviously for a different reason. But I mean, I thought we were just gonna get him to pick up what he did with Cable and the New Mutants because that's what the COVID looks like.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: And then.
Well, you found out that he had a writer.
You found out. Wasn't it nice on that book, creating this, crafting this? But you found out very quickly. Not on Brigade, on New Mutants.
But anyway, I'm going to mess that up too.
I'll mess up the creator of Cable in Deadpool. But anyway.
Yes. Like, when you looked at the COVID it had like, here, I'm going to put it up here. So to remind you so I can see it. See, this is good audio. Yeah. No one else can. Just you.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: If we. If we were one of those cool podcasts with a paywall and we did this for the Patreon, people could see the behind the scenes and then they would get this.
This whole video thing.
[00:05:13] Speaker B: But it's like you got the Shatterstar version of Cable with all the light field heads there around.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: Oh, that's so rad.
[00:05:23] Speaker B: And you could win the COVID too.
I wonder how much that. I wonder if that held up in the comic arc, that cover.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: He's going to look it up, folks. He's excited. He's thinking about it. I mean, I think our two listeners would be like, I'm not going to give you guys $2 to see behind a paywall. Watch you guys talk about this stuff live or after the fact in person.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: What if you're at wall.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that's. Yeah.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: See, I mean, this is the type.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Of sleuthing that they could do on their own.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: Yeah. It turns out if you have Fabian NDA writing for you, get a good book, then your art looks better.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Drawing to. I made.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: There's the. There's the cable appearance there. Do you see How? I. Yeah, Yep.
[00:06:26] Speaker A: It's pretty good.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: I did.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: Like, how did Sam Guthrie regress in age from issue one? From issue seven?
Does any look younger than he did when he started?
Yeah. Well, anyway, welcome to new Mutants cast.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: I'm just going to cover from here on out. We're going to forget about the book we're doing. We're just going to cover the new mutants. We're going to talk about Sam Guthrie. We're going to talk about all the things that come with this. It's just so invigorating to just jump into this new book that I haven't read.
[00:07:11] Speaker B: Oh, oh, oh.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: It's magic.
New Mutants.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: New Mutants. See, it's.
[00:07:17] Speaker A: It is.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: It's magic.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: You know, I'm very excited about it. So where do we start, Dan? Where do we start with this?
[00:07:29] Speaker B: I mean, your lack of knowledge of new mutant characters is right now, or you get the joke right away.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: My knowledge is that's why we're starting this whole new podcast just about new me.
[00:07:41] Speaker B: Ileana Rasputin, like, the character.
[00:07:44] Speaker A: That's why. That's why we're doing this, so I can become more educated.
[00:07:48] Speaker B: Colossus little sister. Like, we really literally talked about it when we did the way back. Way back.
[00:07:54] Speaker A: I mean, she didn't need his help to stop that tractor.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: We saw her first appearance.
[00:07:59] Speaker A: She could have just stopped it herself.
[00:08:01] Speaker B: Right.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: She wasn't. I don't think she was able to at the time stop it herself. But he definitely. The Colossus out. Can't really say. Hulk out.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: I don't think they had her powers.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: She needed to wait a few more years for them to mature.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And cultivate.
[00:08:28] Speaker A: Like a farm.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: Like a farm.
[00:08:31] Speaker A: Like a farm. Like they were living on when they were youngsters back in Russia.
Yes.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: I do think if you go Back to episode 340, you can listen to us talk about Giant Size 1. You can also go back to episodes 341 and 342 titled Everyone Hates Cyclops and Everyone still hate Cyclops consecutively and listen to some early X Men and 343 where we wonder who dies because one character's face isn't in the corner of the COVID mystery.
And then we talked about the great darkness saga for a while. These were some fun podcasts. But I guess now we should talk about human target.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Book nine.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: Book nine, because we just got done talking about Dimitri.
[00:09:23] Speaker A: Yes, we did.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: The rocket Red.
And I mean the rocket. Iron Man. I mean the iron rocket.
[00:09:32] Speaker A: He has a colossus of his own.
Shut up, Craig.
Hey, I. I was trying. I was. I was. I was stretching. I was reaching.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: I mean, I would date Colossus, but not Rocket Red.
I don't think he's interested.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: But Colossus.
Colossus, definitely interesting.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: I think I have the type of body for Colossus.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: He likes bald men. Hangs out with them.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: Similar.
Wow. No, I don't want to be his dad or his mentor. No.
All right. Gross. Nope. No. Okay, never mind. Nope, nope. We're not doing that at this point. Colossus is way older than me.
I mean, if we go back to the. If we go on the comic timeline.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: Oh, goodness.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: I think I was 2 when Colossus was in that comic book.
So there you go. I mean, yeah, you're.
[00:10:41] Speaker A: He could cradle you.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: Oh, boy. Okay. Yep. So Human Target number nine.
[00:10:52] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: You know what? Speaking of cradling, if you want to learn all about cradling before we talk about Buck 9 and Human Target, you can follow project-nerd.com or go to Project Nerd on Facebook or, like, other places.
[00:11:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:16] Speaker B: And you can learn all about cradling.
[00:11:19] Speaker A: Is that where you, like, you know, you put your arms out and then put it like a thing, like a cradle? Or is that using a cradle or.
[00:11:33] Speaker B: I was kind of thinking, like a big spoon, little spoon situation.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: I don't know. Is that. Is that what they're.
[00:11:40] Speaker B: You don't know what a big spoon, little spoon is?
[00:11:43] Speaker A: Like, where you got the. Like where the spoons rest and the forks and the knives and you put the big spoons in there and little spoons in there.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: Do you. Do you cuddle with your spouse on the couch?
[00:11:53] Speaker A: No, we usually have the dogs right between us, so they. They kind of. They kind of make a dog barrier.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Okay, well, that. That would be why you don't understand, like, if you were cuddling, one person's leaning on the other one and inside the spoon and the little spoon.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: Got it just, like, in the spoon drawer.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: It can really be quite. It can really be quite. Like, just pretty normal.
[00:12:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: Like, not. This is not. It doesn't have to be sexual or anything.
Yeah, kind of. Yeah. But different.
I don't know. Well, anyway, on Project Nerd.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: On Project Nerd. Project Nerd, you got all the.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: All the cradling you can find.
You can find stuff about guys in spandex.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Yep.
For the win.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Pin.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: For the pin. Yeah.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: Got it.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: The wrestling move to cradle, not a very good one, but the inside cradle never works. Never works.
Well, it doesn't work in position.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: Right.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: I think it works in amateur wrestling. They always kick out in pro wrestling, you know, cheater. Well, anyway, I don't know what's happening. Yeah, Project Nerd. They help us. They're nice. Go look at what they do. If you like what we do.
[00:13:25] Speaker A: You'Ll.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: Really like what they do. And if you don't like what we do, then they're actually good. So you can go to their place.
[00:13:34] Speaker A: Go to their place, see what they do.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: Yeah. And check it out. All right, well, that's our partner. Project-nerd.com or Project Nerd on Facebook and Instagram. Go there. Iggy's amazing.
Okay, so the Human Target, Book nine.
We've got people way better than us in Tom King and Greg Smallwood.
And we've got a scared Christopher Chance looking back over his shoulder with the shadow of one seemingly bat person.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: The dirt.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: The dirt.
Dirt.
[00:14:25] Speaker A: I am the dirt.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: We talk about this podcast too much. King Falls AM Folks.
It's long done, but you should go back and listen to it all and write them and tell them to do more, because they don't even have to do more. King Falls am They could just do something else.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: Get the ensemble back together and make something fun to listen to because boy, oh boy. And if you haven't listened to it, it's a fun ride. It's a great experience. They got a fantastic cast and the commercial bits that they do are top tier, super great.
[00:15:11] Speaker B: And just the whole thing, it was an entertaining ride. They dealt with some really tough issues in a very fun and humorous way. And if you don't have a sense of humor, don't bother.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:30] Speaker B: But if you do have a sense of humor and an open mind, have fun. Have fun.
And we joke about it all the time. People have no idea.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: No idea.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: Because nobody's listened to it. I mean, lots of people listen to it, but yeah, anyway. Well, human target, book nine, we get an advertisement for the Death of Superman 30th anniversary special by Dan Juergens, which I own.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: Nice guy.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Yep. In fact, anytime we see an advertisement. Now, since you said I was hoarding comics, I'm just going to point out that I own that already.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, you will.
[00:16:11] Speaker B: And we start out with Christopher Chance in bed. Shock of shock to Dice in bed with him. As we start out most of these books, Shock and Ice wakes up and is looking at him and she's checking him out and she's seeing if he's alive and she starts doing mouth to mouth and chest compressions.
She starts crying and she ices up her hands to try to shock him. And we get day nine D.C. the human target. They've changed the this time they've changed the hotel sign to say that it's really cool.
It says, and when I have stolen upon these sons in law.
Okay, it's the title. Writer Tom King Artist Greg Smallwood Letterer Clayton Cowles Editor Ben Abernathy.
Sorry, no vacancy.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: Looks like there might be one pretty soon.
[00:17:14] Speaker B: Well, we'll find out. Human Target was originally created by Len Wein and Carmen Infantino to people who have never created anything else in their lives.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: It was just did this book and that was it one and done out created something great or created this character and they're like, eh, we don't need to do anything else. Walk away from comics altogether.
[00:17:35] Speaker B: Yep, as I pointed out on previous podcasts, Len Wein's most famous character, the Human Target.
[00:17:40] Speaker A: One and only.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: Do you think? I wonder.
So the Human Target had a. How many seasons did that show go?
[00:17:51] Speaker A: 2.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: It's just 1. I think it was 2.2H. How many X Men movies are there?
[00:18:02] Speaker A: I think so 6.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: And then the Wolverine movie. 7. Multiple Wolverine movies. And the other Wolverine movie, that's 8.
[00:18:12] Speaker A: That's 3.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: And then Wolverine being in, then Wolverine.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: Being in three Wolverine movies.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: And then Wolverine was in Deadpool.
I was just pondering, does the Human Target have more live action screen time.
[00:18:30] Speaker A: Than Wolverine in episode first season?
[00:18:35] Speaker B: Yeah, we're not going to. If we, if we don't count the cartoons in screen literal time.
Because if those were 45 minute shows times, whatever.
If they were full seasons of like 21 episodes, 22 episodes, then Christopher Chance may technically have more.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: More screen time.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: Live appearance screen time than Wolverine.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Whoa, that's.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: That's just a thought. And just talk.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: Somebody do the math for us. We're bad at it.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: I'm good. I'm bad at math.
[00:19:15] Speaker A: I'm trying to give the listener a thing to do. Listener out there, dear listener, please do the math. Get back to us. Tell us, how much screen time has Christopher Chance had versus our friend the Wolverine?
[00:19:33] Speaker B: Okay, well, where is he?
[00:19:35] Speaker A: Where's Christopher Chance or the Wolverine? The Wolverine. He's been hanging out with Deadpool for a while.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: Christopher Chance.
[00:19:40] Speaker A: But. Oh, oh, Christopher Chance. He. It looks like he's back in the doctor's office again.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: You know, speaking of Wolverine, you want.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: Danny DeVito to play him?
[00:19:50] Speaker B: I just read.
I just read the third issue of Gail Simone's Uncanny X Men and you know, she's world building.
And that can only mean she plans on to be beyond the book.
[00:20:10] Speaker A: Well, that Gail Simone, that crafty, crafty writer her.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: And that makes me very happy.
[00:20:18] Speaker A: Whenever she starts to build a world, you know, she's.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: And they usually end up really good. I mean, Secret Six was so good. Anyway.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: Okay, now I'm gonna have to go these books and.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: Go and get these books.
Anyway, Christopher Chance is back under the care of Dr. Midnight because ice brings him in and he wakes up. And they immediately give him his optimism.
[00:20:50] Speaker A: Best medicine, right? I mean, breakfast champions. Gotta wake up and dog of the hair. The dog of the hair. Hair of the dog. You know what I mean?
Dog hair.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: Dog hair.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Get all the dog hair, Chris.
[00:21:04] Speaker B: I wake up with dog hair every day.
[00:21:06] Speaker A: Nothing but dog hair everywhere.
[00:21:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I even got a little robot vacuum to like suck all the dog hair.
[00:21:14] Speaker A: And is it working?
[00:21:17] Speaker B: I mean, every morning it has dog hair in the vacuum.
[00:21:20] Speaker A: Something.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: I don't think it sucks all the dog hair up.
Sometimes I just find it in random places. Kind of like Christopher Chase.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: The robot or the dog?
Both. Okay.
[00:21:33] Speaker B: The robot, the dog hair is in every place. Like the dog hair is in random places. Everywhere.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: Yep.
Fall down some stairs.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: Yeah, it'll just be lost somewhere.
It doesn't fall downstairs, but it does get lost.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: Mine's a dumb one.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: It's not very smart. Well, anyway, Christopher Chance and Ice go out on a road trip again.
And Chance seems like he's going a little crazy. He says I expected him at the hotel around 10. I woke up in a JL Med unit around noon.
Seems like that would have just made it easier for him.
I don't know what he's waiting for.
And he's like, I've been tracking every car, not sure why he take another home.
He keeps looking behind him.
He seems like a little crazy. And they're driving northwest feel to it.
It does have a north by north. In fact, I brought that movie up last night.
I watched last night. I watched.
I watched the.
What is wrong with. You know. I literally just watched that last night.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: And was it that movie with that one guy and that one. Oh, man.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: Window.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Stop, stop, stop.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: The one. The remake. The one where they have.
[00:23:05] Speaker B: Not the remake.
[00:23:06] Speaker A: No, the updated remake.
The really updated one.
[00:23:11] Speaker B: No.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: With the kid that was in holes.
[00:23:14] Speaker B: No.
Yeah. No.
Which Transformers Watch Square Window. It was somebody who had never seen it. And I was explaining what happened with Grace Kelly and how that she was in Dial M for Murder and Rear Window Princess and then was in like that country hick movie. And that's the one she won the Academy Award for, even though her performance in the other movie is better.
And how she just like quit acting when she became the Princess of Monaco.
[00:23:47] Speaker A: It's crazy because, like, the other. You're right. The other movies, she killed in those roles, or as the kids today would say, slayed in them.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: Well, they couldn't let Hitchcock win anything until north by Northwest. Right?
So that's interesting that you brought that up. But this does have a North by.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. When I read this, I was like, this feels very north by Northwest.
The whole issue.
It's just that.
[00:24:18] Speaker B: And see, now I have to go back and rewatch Northwest side Note.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: When I was a kid and we were moving cross country and we stopped at Mount Rushmore and I got to like, we went there like late at night and it was like right as they're closing because, like, you know, that's, you know, what you do.
But it was totally that kind of feeling of like when he goes and he's. And he's there by himself. And I was like, this feels just like the movie.
And then I thought, it's going to get chased by somebody.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: I mean, that could be.
Well, I mean, I just watched a movie where Perry Mason tried to murder.
[00:25:01] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Isn't it crazy to how, like, they turned Raymond Burr into a pseudosex symbol three years after that movie came out and he was like a frumpy, gray haired old man in the movie?
[00:25:23] Speaker A: I mean, and then it was a different time, Dan.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: I bet the kids don't even know who Perry Mason is. That's the scary part.
You know what you have to do, too. You have to go, like, because now the new Matlock show is on.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: It's pretty good.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: And so you have. I've liked it so far. It's annoying that it comes out once a week.
That's when I would binge in a heartbeat.
But it's like, you have to now go, oh, have you seen Matlock? Oh, yeah, I know what Matlock is. So Matlock just copied Perry Mason.
Exactly.
And they're like, oh, so, yeah.
Anyway, we're back to the book and at least Christopher Chant seems to think he's being north by Northwest. If that's an action verb.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: It is now.
[00:26:22] Speaker B: And it is now. And Ice gets frustrated and is like, are we going to talk about you dying? And he's like, yeah, I lied to you.
I've got four days left.
And she's not happy, but he's Thinking, but I have other troubles.
So they sit down at a diner, and Ice is being super nice to the weight staff there. And Christopher Chance is still going crazy. He's thinking the whole time thinking about that this guy who's following him has to be one step ahead, and he wants to be one step ahead. He doesn't like to be beat.
And Chance gets up, and he goes and taps this guy on the shoulder.
And he's like, hey, one professional to another. I like the look, if I didn't know you, I wouldn't know you. And the poor guy's like, is there something wrong?
And Ice is like, christopher, what the fuck are you doing? Of course we can't say fuck in this book. People can only fuck. We can't say fuck.
Yeah.
And then he's like.
The guy's like, I don't know who you think you are, but you better remove your hand. And the dude, like, stands up to fight. And Christopher Chance beats the shit out of him, knocks him on the ground, unconscious. The waitress is now freaking the fuck out.
[00:28:06] Speaker A: Like, whoa.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: Ice is freaking out. Ice throws some money at the staff, hoping they'll forget what happened.
And Chance still has his whole inner dialogue going, telling him he thinks he's right there, that he's outside. And Ice drags him out.
And then Ice is just going off. She's like, what is this? I wake up and you're dead.
What the fuck? Where are we going? Is this how we're going to live?
She's, like, demanding answers. And Chance is sweating.
[00:28:43] Speaker A: He is. Yeah.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: And he's just like, if I could just get. It does really have a north. You know, I didn't think about that totally. But it literally has a north Biden.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: I'm waiting for a plane. I'm waiting for something to come out of the sky at them.
[00:28:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
And then Ice gets very mad and wants him to stop driving. So instead of just locking down the car or braking, she creates an ice slick. And the car flies off the road.
And he reaches out to her, and her hand is cold. We get a Breaking Bad scene at the bottom.
Got the Gila Monster. I don't even know what that is.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Yeah, just kind of hanging out.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: And anyway, the car is done.
It's smoking. His car is by far the biggest victim across the series.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: It's getting worked over left and right. I mean, every other issue of this book series, that car takes a beating. It does not. Nobody lets up on it. Guy Gardner beats it up. Christopher Chance beats it up. I mean, it just it is. I mean, he beats his own car up. Ice beats it up. It is. It is. Worked.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: Yep.
Yep.
[00:30:19] Speaker A: Such a nice car.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: And now Christopher Chance is stuck, and he's freaking out.
And then he starts talking to Ice again while he's freaking out. And she's like, we could have died. Shouldn't you be mad?
He's like, I'm fine. I don't care about dying, because he's about to die anyway.
And then he apologizes for not telling her, and he says, I'm sorry for a lot of things. And she's like, is it because you have trouble sharing now? They're both drinking the alcohol.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: That's what you do when you're stuck in the desert.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: And, well, I mean, there she. I mean, she. She got her way. She made him talk.
And so.
And Ice admits that she's afraid of herself and everything. Chance says he's afraid of her, too.
Seems like a good thing to be in the middle of desert. Somebody you're afraid of and sleeping with them at the same time.
Seems completely good relationship.
[00:31:42] Speaker A: It's a very honest and open, safe, secure relationship. It's the type of thing that people talk about and say that they strive for.
[00:31:59] Speaker B: Well, and then we get some interesting disclosure. Well, I think you're going somewhere, and I'm going back to the book.
When I die. It was. AI says when I died.
I mean, you set this up, so I don't want to go down your path because you set up her dialogue. So when I died, it was all of a sudden, I was fighting. I was so mad. And then I was awake somewhere else and years had gone by. Fire was there, and I didn't feel like anything. I remember being so scared because there wasn't anything in between. No heaven or hell or even a stray thought. Just eyes shut, eyes open.
You are, then you aren't.
And Chance is like, every day you die. Every moment, you're not who you were before the moment before.
We're getting all philosophical here. Philosophical, philosophical.
[00:32:58] Speaker A: All the philosophies.
[00:33:02] Speaker B: Well, anyway, it's all good.
Ice makes a house of ice.
It's big.
I didn't know she could just do that.
[00:33:14] Speaker A: Whatever she wants out of Ice. That's her superpower. It's almost a magic power.
It is magical.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: It seems pretty magical this time because she waves her hand and there's a giant ice car in an ice house.
And she's like, we're out in the desert.
And he's like, we're. I'm in trouble.
She's still, like, I only have. He's still like, I only have four days to live.
And then he starts disclosing that he's paranoid. He's like, I sent this message about Guy Gardner. I'm not perfect. Somebody could see through it.
And she's like, who's better than you?
And he's like, you didn't have to build a liquor cabinet. Do you. And she's like, I saved your life this morning. I didn't kill you when I found out. You've been lying to me for days.
Maybe do me the courtesy of just answering fucking questions.
He's like, batman. Batman's better than me?
[00:34:29] Speaker A: Batman is better than you, Christopher.
[00:34:34] Speaker B: He's like, I know by now. Or he knows by now, and he's just freaking out.
And then he settles in on, I love you, and I fucked up.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: I love. He's honest.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: And then she starts to get a little paranoid, and then just settles for. I'm going to the bed upstairs. Are you coming?
So that seems to be the theme of the whole book.
And he's still paranoid. He wakes up in the middle of the night expecting to see Batman.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: He's been waiting, man.
[00:35:18] Speaker B: I mean, there is no Batman.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Is Batman like Santa Claus? Like, you wait for him all the time. You think he's always there watching you. He's. He's. You are always looking out for him, but he's not really there. He doesn't exist.
Spoiler alert, kids.
[00:35:36] Speaker B: Well. What? He comes to a conclusion. He says he saw through the video and checked it out and assumed the JLI were up to their usual nonsense, cited not to interfere. He left us alone because he figured out Guy Gardner's still alive. What?
[00:35:49] Speaker A: What?
I haven't read that.
What?
[00:35:53] Speaker B: What?
What? It's what it says right here on the page. Right. By TB Continued.
[00:36:00] Speaker A: No.
Gosh darn it, I gotta read the next step.
Read the next issue.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: You probably should read to find out if Christopher Chance is being paranoid or if it's true.
How could Guy Gardner be alive, though? This was like. This was not a comic book. Death.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: He was, like, into a part like a. Like a human meatball. Like, human meatball. Okay. Like ice.
[00:36:28] Speaker B: Human.
[00:36:30] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:36:30] Speaker B: I say balls.
[00:36:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Like a. Like a giant. Like a. Like one of those icicles that falls and hits you in the face while you're trying to shoot your Red Rider BB gun.
Yeah, exactly. Just like that.
[00:36:42] Speaker B: Meat sickles.
[00:36:43] Speaker A: They made a meat sickle.
[00:36:44] Speaker B: They made meatsicles. Meats. Meat sickles.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: And then Broke them apart.
[00:36:49] Speaker B: Yes. You just pull one out of the freezer, and it's right there. It's like a popsicle, but it's meat, which makes it even better.
Yeah, Nothing like red meat Sicles.
[00:37:02] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:37:05] Speaker B: Like Steak pops.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: Everybody likes the Steak Pops.
[00:37:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I hear they're all the rage in Springfield, Ohio.
[00:37:12] Speaker A: Steak Pop. Put that on the list of things that Dan wants to try.
[00:37:20] Speaker B: I mean, would you, like, just get.
[00:37:22] Speaker A: Like, a tomahawk steak and just, like, eat it like that?
[00:37:31] Speaker B: Stop giving me ideas.
I could.
I could probably do this. I'm running an event right now, and, like, over a third of the participants ask for no beef, pork, or vegetable. And. And. And half of those just want vegetables.
And I'm ordering all the food. I'm just sad.
And chicken? I did get some chicken, but vegetables and chicken.
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Yeah, fair enough.
[00:38:06] Speaker B: Yeah, that's just sad.
[00:38:07] Speaker A: You can eat all the red meat you want in the comfort of your own home.
Bacon.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: And more bacon.
Bacon and extra bacon.
[00:38:25] Speaker A: Doesn't want that.
[00:38:28] Speaker B: Everybody wants bacon and extra. No, clearly not everybody wants.
Honestly, I probably should be eating more vegetarian things because, yeah, I'd be healthier. But that aside. Yeah, this is a good issue.
It's another one that's hard to do on the podcast because of all the subtext that's happening, but you need it to continue on.
[00:38:57] Speaker A: It's one that I recommend. Next time, everyone that listens to this should go get to read because there's so much going on between the lines.
[00:39:10] Speaker B: And. Yeah, and next issue, we get read this one because it's downhill from here.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: No, the next issue is fantastic.
Yes.
[00:39:30] Speaker B: It'S your favorite character. Next issue.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: I'm excited. Some of my dogs are barking.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: They're excited, too. That's everybody's hint, folks. You get that? Well, we've got to actually wrap this up. I know it's a short one, but it's a good issue. You should read it.
We do have some people that we do like on occasion. Well, one are our listeners, like Jason and Sean.
[00:39:57] Speaker A: I think we have more than two now. I want to say that there might be a few more out there in the fray, and I think this will go up probably after the show, but I'm sure, Dan, you'll get to meet a few of those listeners when we go to the show in Tacoma.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: Oh. At Grit City Comic Con, hopefully, when this post. We've already been there and talk to some of you. Or we haven't already, actually, because I think. Hang on. Let me. Let me do some math here. Here you introduced the. You talk about how great the store is, and I'm going to figure out this goes up before.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: Sure thing. So one of the things that Dan is alluding to is the retro Emporium on 328 Meeker St. In downtown illustrious Kent, Washington. Historic Kent, Washington, if you will. The Retro Emporium own and operate my wife and myself. Occasionally I am there, as some people have said, why are you here? When they see me behind the counter? And I said, because I'm. I'm working here today. So, yeah, there you go. If you want your 80s and 90s retro. Retro items, come on down. Check it out. Check it out online. Facebook and Instagram. See all the fun stuff. And yeah, we do. We do events as well, so. So check those out.
Got a Golden Girls painting event coming up, so seats are selling fast. I'm not even. That's not even like, hype. That's like, literally, I was in. I was in the store and like, four groups. I say groups because they were coming in to do multiples, and we only have 20 seats and we're like, we're almost sold out. So I'm like, wow, okay. Golden Girls are very, very popular.
Yeah.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: Well, there you go. Well, I'm going to tell you before I talk about our other friend, that I actually will release this podcast the morning of Grit City Comic Con. I will release one day early. So if you're listening right now, come down to the convention center in Tacoma and come here, hang out.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: You would.
[00:42:09] Speaker B: Why not? Why wouldn't you? And.
And you could also, while you're in Tacoma, go visit jujitsu or Paul Boudreaux.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:19] Speaker B: At Certified Martial Arts Now a Kyotera affiliate. I don't know.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: Sounds awesome.
[00:42:25] Speaker B: But, yeah, I'm sure if you do.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: Jujitsu, if you know, you know, and if you don't, you're gonna find out as soon as you walk through the door.
[00:42:36] Speaker B: I. There's a cool new sign that says it at the. At the gym. That's cool.
And honestly, too, like, I mean, this is. This is gonna sound like a flex, but it's really not. Over the last year and a couple of months, I've lost 20 real pounds with Paul as my trainer. Um, and when I say real pounds, I mean, like, I've slowly gone from 2:28 back down to 208 and quite happy with that. And so, you know, if you. Again, I know Paul mostly does jiu jitsu, but, you know, he could. You could personal training with him. You could set up A program. You can go in and do jiu jitsu. Personally, I train with him and then also do some training at home and walk the dog a lot. But, yeah, you can set kind of those things up. So I went from being puny to being stronger and then starting to get puny, which is good. I want to be puny now. I want to be puny.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: Banner. Puny banner. Get on a plan like Dan is what I'm hearing. Get on a plan like Dan.
[00:43:41] Speaker B: I mean, you could obviously, if you go in. Well. And one of the things he will do with you, too, if you've ever been interested in doing grappling or anything like that. I know a lot of people are intimidated by it because you think jiu jitsu, it sounds like, scary. It's honestly really not that scary. Like, you go in and you learn to grapple and you learn to put people in holds and stuff. And basically. But one of the things Paul can do with you is he can do a boot camp with you or, you know, help you get in shape to enjoy that. So if it's ever something you've been interested in, then he can take you on a little journey to get you up to speed. Right. So you can enjoy yourself while you're doing it. And. Yeah. And he recently got a bronze medal in the absolute division at Nice in Vancouver.
I forget which event it was, but it was a big grappling association of. I think it was adcc. I think that's the one for the Jiu jitsu folks. And he got it in the absolute division, which means he had to go his 170 pound self. Had to go against people that were like 210 pounds and 2 and 20 pounds. That's so.
[00:44:52] Speaker A: So there you go. They had the. They had the size weight advantage and he was. He still got a middle. That's.
[00:44:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:59] Speaker A: Tremendous.
[00:45:03] Speaker B: It's like the old school UFC events.
[00:45:05] Speaker A: Going up against Butterbean.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: Butterbean, wow.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: Deep cut.
[00:45:13] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, 19.
Butterbean was a boxer.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: You said UFC. I just went right back to the. To like the, The.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: He wasn't in ufc.
[00:45:24] Speaker A: Fair enough.
Like one of the early ones. I thought he did one of the early ones. One of the early ones.
[00:45:33] Speaker B: Probably. Probably. Probably because it was the.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: One of the early Octagons, I think, like, I. I want to say he fought against Hoist Gracie.
No, I could be totally wrong, but.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: I'm pulling up his Sherdog page right now. Let's find out.
He did fight history, PFC fighting. He did fights in 2011.
[00:46:04] Speaker A: I thought he had been retired.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: It's terrifying.
He did a K1 event. He did a K1 event, but I don't see ufc on here.
Did it in 2000.
[00:46:21] Speaker A: I could have sworn he did something like early early.
Did they call something different back then?
[00:46:29] Speaker B: He did do an early early. He did a K1 event in Japan.
But no, he was doing, like, what they called it something else.
There was no grappling.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:46] Speaker B: If that makes sense.
So, anyway, tough man. Like, tough man.
[00:46:51] Speaker A: I think they just call it every everything, anything goes type thing.
[00:46:58] Speaker B: Yeah, but it wasn't like it was tough man fighting. It was a different.
But anyway, yeah, I don't know how we get to.
If you want to. If you want to improve yourself, learn some grappling, build a community, Go hang out with Paul at certified marketing.
[00:47:22] Speaker A: He'll help you out.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: Yep. Talking to the little people.
All right, well, with that said, probably time to wrap up this episode because I'm getting a little creeped out. I think Batman's trying to break into my house.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: Now, he sees when you. When you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows.
[00:47:44] Speaker B: He's trying to take my adorable dog away.
[00:47:45] Speaker A: He needs another one for his.
[00:47:47] Speaker B: Because who wouldn't want.
[00:47:49] Speaker A: Well, your dog matches his outfit in his car and his bat wing and his bat boat and his bat cave.
So, I mean, looks like your dog. Your dog could fit into, like, you know, Batman animated series. I'm thinking Batman's all about breaking into your house. So you better go lock your doors, Dan, and make sure everything's battened down for the.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: I will definitely do that. Did you know that butterbean is 77, 10, and 4 in matches.
And a bunch of those losses were at the end, Right?
[00:48:29] Speaker A: So, like, just punch people.
[00:48:32] Speaker B: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Seven of those losses were in his last, like, 12 fights. So that's crazy.
But, I mean, he. He fought Larry Holmes. Oh, lost.
Well, anyway, Larry Holmes must have been really old when he caught Butterbeans.
[00:48:58] Speaker A: Too old. Been fighting.
[00:48:59] Speaker B: Well, anyway, now that I'm down the Butterbean.
Whatever. Rabbit hole.
[00:49:06] Speaker A: He's in the Butterbean hole, everybody. Watch out.
[00:49:10] Speaker B: Wow. Well, let's get out of here. That's it for this episode of Funny Book Forensics. On that note, I'm Dan, that's Craig, and hope you had fun with us this time, and we'll see you next time for another issue of.
