Funny Book Forensics 375 Fire Bad

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, yes. [00:00:09] Speaker B: And then life happened and we can only record one at a time. Well, that's what we're gonna do today. We're gonna record Human Target, Book seven. [00:00:18] Speaker A: Number seven. [00:00:21] Speaker B: Just joking. You can cast. [00:00:26] Speaker A: I can't. [00:00:28] Speaker B: Oh, well, this one has a. This is an interesting cover. Like, it's like on fire, but it's on fire. [00:00:35] Speaker A: It is on fire. On fire. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Double with fire. [00:00:39] Speaker A: Fire. Triple fire. [00:00:41] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So it's Human Target, Book seven, with an orangish fiery background with green fire down below. Hot. Do you know what fires original? [00:00:52] Speaker A: No, I don't. What was original name? [00:00:56] Speaker B: I believe it was Green Flame. [00:00:57] Speaker A: Green Flame. [00:01:00] Speaker B: Very exciting. I can't believe they didn't keep that. [00:01:06] Speaker A: I don't know. I couldn't tell you. Why. Maybe. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Well, if you go back and of course, I don't have the podcast number that we covered it the first time, but we did the whole thing about the Global Guardians, which. I should have that podcast number ready because that would be a good callback if I was a good editor. I would have a little editorial box of the little asterisk and it would say, go to podcast episode, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, it is correct. She was part of the Global Guardians originally. And where Ice was called Ice Maiden Fire was called the Green Flame. See, because she's green and she's from Brazil. And the flag of Brazil is to the main. So if you're from Brazil, then you would be green. Right. [00:01:58] Speaker A: See? [00:02:00] Speaker B: Very clever, those global. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Very clever. Very clever. [00:02:03] Speaker B: Yeah, she had a green mask, I believe, too. I don't know. Wait. Actually, I don't know that for sure, but, yeah, it's very exciting. Do you know who some of the other founding members of the global governments were? There was Seraph from Israel. How creative. There was the Bushmaster from Venezuela. Interesting. There was the Olympian. Do you want to guess where the Olympian was from? [00:02:40] Speaker A: I'm going to gander from Greece. Yeah, good guess. [00:02:45] Speaker B: The murderer, as we know from Breakdowns, Jack, O Lantern, do you remember Australia? [00:02:52] Speaker A: Was it. Was that right? Oh, I just figured. I mean, they were putting people in very ironic places. I figured murderers from Australia. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Not. He's from Ireland. No, there's a different character that's from Australia. He's actually kind of still around. Impala. I didn't know this one. I'll give you a hint. Was a Zulu warrior. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Sudan. [00:03:19] Speaker B: South Africa. [00:03:20] Speaker A: Close. [00:03:22] Speaker B: The Little Mermaid from Atlantis. No, she can't be from Atlantis. That's where Aqua is from. [00:03:32] Speaker A: I mean, I thought they were friends. You know. [00:03:35] Speaker B: These are the Global guardians. Remember, they're supposed to represent different countries. [00:03:38] Speaker A: From around the world. Then the Little Mermaid would be from like the Doctor. [00:03:47] Speaker B: She's from Denmark. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Denmark. [00:03:49] Speaker B: I think that's a tough one. How about Dr. Mist? [00:03:53] Speaker A: Dr. Mist. He hangs out with Dr. Thunder and Dr. Pepper. [00:04:01] Speaker B: Dr. Thunder. He's just noted as being from Africa. [00:04:07] Speaker A: Giant continent. [00:04:10] Speaker B: Yeah. It's not a country. Yes. Now, I hope you get this one or we're in some real trouble. The next two I really hope you get. Okay. The Tasmanian Devil. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Oh, man, that's a tough one. New Zealand. No. New Guinea. No. Hold on. Australia. No, Tez. Tasmania. [00:04:39] Speaker B: Well, Tasmania is part of what country? [00:04:42] Speaker A: New. [00:04:43] Speaker B: Australia. You just said Australia. [00:04:46] Speaker A: Yes, I said. [00:04:48] Speaker B: Okay, now here's the non racist one. Here's the very non racist one. The Rising Sun. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Oh. Hmm. Wow. That one. [00:05:06] Speaker B: Somebody of Japanese American descent. I'm sure that one makes you proud. [00:05:10] Speaker A: I mean, it's very. It's. It's very nail on the head there. Yes. [00:05:17] Speaker B: They were trying. [00:05:18] Speaker A: They. [00:05:19] Speaker B: This was. These names are all from the 70s. Yes. Al. Al. Al. Woman. Al Woman. [00:05:28] Speaker A: From the Amazon. [00:05:32] Speaker B: She's from Oklahoma. [00:05:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:35] Speaker B: Because she's Native American. Of the Cherokee tribe, of course. Yes. Because we there. There are no other tribes, you know. [00:05:45] Speaker A: There are no other tribes. [00:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Sunder Lord. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Thunderlord. [00:05:51] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:52] Speaker A: Must be from. I'm assuming, of Norse descent. [00:05:59] Speaker B: You would be incorrect. Thunderlord is indeed a Buddhist monk from Taiwan. [00:06:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Yes. Tuatara. [00:06:10] Speaker A: Tuatara. I'm gonna. I'm. I'm going to go with another country based in Africa. [00:06:23] Speaker B: You're not going to pick one. You're just going to say African based. [00:06:29] Speaker A: Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe. [00:06:31] Speaker B: Well, it was. He could predict the future. And he's from New Zealand. [00:06:37] Speaker A: I said New Zealand already. [00:06:42] Speaker B: And then we have Godiva. Hopefully you get this one right. [00:06:49] Speaker A: Luxembourg. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Luxembourg. That's a good guess. She is indeed from England. However she's in, if you don't know, Godiva has popped around the DC universe a little bit. She's an English socialite who can manipulate. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Her long hair and rides a horse. [00:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Sounds like a different character for Marvel. That came out before. The Wild Huntsman. [00:07:15] Speaker A: The Wild Huntsman. Okay. Wow. Where does the Wild Huntsman comes from? Canada. [00:07:28] Speaker B: Canada. No, good guess. He's from Germany. He's a reincarnation of a German warrior. I actually got her name wrong. It was not the Green Flame. It was the Green Fury. [00:07:38] Speaker A: Fury. [00:07:40] Speaker B: Originally. Wow. [00:07:41] Speaker A: See, I mean, if she's anything like my. My aunt from Brazil, that. That makes sense. They like fire she set something on fire before because she was angry. Wow. [00:07:53] Speaker B: Well, car. I. And here's why I thought this. Because she changed her name to Green Flame when she worked on a case with Infinity, Inc. That's where I would have been introduced to her for the first time. So I was actually introduced to the character before I read Justice League International. [00:08:10] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:08:12] Speaker B: And then Ice Maiden, who changed their name. I guess she was also known as Glacier. Interesting. Ice was. I did not know Ice was known as Glacier. I. The only thing I thought. Known as Glacier. Interesting. Oh, this is the other one, though. This is the other lady. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Oh, I see. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Yes. So they keep claiming. So they're saying. So this is where it gets confusing, because this is the Sigrid Nansen, the other one they were referring to. That was not Tar. Olaf's daughter. Okay. Okay. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Not the daughter of Taro. [00:08:58] Speaker B: They're still saying there's the two Ices. Yeah. Which makes sense. And then later on, there was a Batman of all nations. But we're not going to get into that. [00:09:08] Speaker A: That's a whole other thing. That's a. You open that up and boy, oh, boy. Batman's from everywhere. There's Batman, Superman. [00:09:16] Speaker B: But there were some other. There were some other incarnations, you know, brought into this group later. [00:09:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:23] Speaker B: But, yeah, I mean, that was your original lineup. So I. I thought we should go down a Global Guardians path here as we get into the. The issue with. With. [00:09:31] Speaker A: With Fire, the Green Fury from Brazil. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Who later becomes the Green Flame, who I. And. And then I. I think DeMattis and Giffen did a righteous thing when they just named them Fire and Ice. Yeah. [00:09:47] Speaker A: It makes. [00:09:48] Speaker B: I do think that was probably the way to go. [00:09:49] Speaker A: I mean, it's a great song, Fire. Nice. [00:09:55] Speaker B: Well, and then, you know when the important thing is, like, you rename somebody Fire, and then you can do this. Yeah. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Yeah. No. [00:10:10] Speaker B: Did I turn it off the time? [00:10:11] Speaker A: I think you did. I think we. We got. [00:10:13] Speaker B: Okay. [00:10:13] Speaker A: We didn't get a strike. We didn't. We will be fine. [00:10:17] Speaker B: Okay. I just want to make sure I turn that off in time. I wouldn't want to get strikes. [00:10:23] Speaker A: We're good. We're under the three seconds, I think. [00:10:28] Speaker B: Well, as we found out as we were covering this two episodes ago, the logical choice now for who killed Christopher Chance may indeed be Fire, because we found out that Fire manipulated John. John's into getting money from Ted Kord. [00:10:51] Speaker A: To buy him more to give to. [00:10:55] Speaker B: To give to. No, to give to Booster Gold to buy more cookies to run a bagel business. Where Booster Gold went back in time. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Double toast his bagel, acquired the perfect. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Water for the bagels. We're not talking about. We're not talking about double toasting or retouching pre toasting the. No, I know. I literally just edited that one. No, we're not doing it again. I had to listen to that whole discussion. [00:11:19] Speaker A: But he does pre toast the bagels. [00:11:24] Speaker B: You cannot pre toast. [00:11:25] Speaker A: It's a thing. You can do it. [00:11:27] Speaker B: You cannot pre toast. It's impossible to pre toast. [00:11:33] Speaker A: I'm going to bring you a pre. [00:11:34] Speaker B: Is why we're not getting this again. It is literally impossible to pre toast anything. [00:11:38] Speaker A: When we meet up for the count for the convention, I'm bringing a pre toasted bagel. [00:11:42] Speaker B: There's no pre. That just means it was toasted. [00:11:45] Speaker A: I'm gonna pre toast it and then toast it again for you. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Then you retoast. There's no pre toasting. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Pre toasted before they give it to me. [00:11:55] Speaker B: There is impossible to pre toast. You can only toast one. You can only initially toast once. There's no pre toasting. It's literally impossible anyway. And then he gets quiet because I said he's right. [00:12:17] Speaker A: So angry. He is this poor Dan. [00:12:23] Speaker B: It's like you had to bring it up again. So. DC Comics presents the Human Target, Chapter seven. To shoe a troop of horse with felt. I have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe you can enlighten me. You're the one that actually reads literature. I just read comic books. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Well, you put. You put felt on a horse's hoof to make it run smoother, softer, and faster on the track. [00:12:58] Speaker B: I don't think that's true. [00:12:59] Speaker A: When was the last time you went to the track, hit the trifecta? [00:13:03] Speaker B: When was the last time you had anything to do with horse feet? [00:13:05] Speaker A: Oh, horses are delicious. It's. It's sad that we can't eat them in this country. [00:13:10] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:13:13] Speaker A: I have to say, delicacy unbeknownst to many people here. [00:13:20] Speaker B: Is this worse when I just released a podcast where I had to apologize for us making jokes about Florida in the middle of a hurricane, or is this better what's going on right now? [00:13:31] Speaker A: Talking about horse meat eating horses? Yeah, I mean, my great grandparents said that horses are delicious. I believe them. [00:13:43] Speaker B: Okay, well, on that note. [00:13:46] Speaker A: No, I. No, they. You have a horse's hoof, you have to shoe it, but you also. You put the felt on it to make it run smoother, faster, and glide over the surface so elegantly. [00:14:04] Speaker B: You put felt on horses. [00:14:06] Speaker A: Yeah, Just like you pre toast a bagel. [00:14:12] Speaker B: The writer of this comic is Tom King. He wins many awards. Greg does not win many awards. [00:14:17] Speaker A: Greg Smallwood wins lots of awards. [00:14:20] Speaker B: The artist is Craig Smallwood. He also wins lots of awards. The letter is Clayton Cowles. I don't know if he wins awards or not, but he should. The editor is Ben Abernathy. There were some variant covers as well. And the Human Target was created by Len Weed and Lean and Carmen Infantino, who created no other heroes, including Flash or Wolverine. I should have said it in the other order, because Len Wein created Wolverine and Carmen Infantino created the Flash. Of course, Len Wein with the assist from the editor in chief of Marvel at the time. Right? Yeah. Make sure we get that right. That makes me so sad because I love tomorrow's and I love all the work that editor in chief has done with them. And I liked Infinity, Inc. I just cannot believe that somebody would take credit for doing something they didn't do. It's almost like I'm at work. [00:15:24] Speaker A: Oh, Dan. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Anyway. Well, anyway, we've got. You know, I may have people that. From work that listen to this now, so I probably shouldn't make work jokes. [00:15:42] Speaker A: I keep. I keep everything separate, you know? [00:15:48] Speaker B: I didn't mean it. [00:15:49] Speaker A: Didn't mean it. You didn't mean it, folks. [00:15:53] Speaker B: No. I was subdued by. I was mind controlled by Jon Jones. [00:15:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Jon Jones or Jessica Jones or John Jones? [00:16:02] Speaker B: Jon Jones is his alternate. Remember? John Johns is his Martian name. [00:16:07] Speaker A: John Jones got inside your head? [00:16:09] Speaker B: Jessica Jones is her name. And does she have a superhero name? [00:16:17] Speaker A: Mmm, maybe. [00:16:21] Speaker B: I know who Jessica Drew is. [00:16:25] Speaker A: No, I don't. I didn't think about it. [00:16:31] Speaker B: You don't know who Jessica Drew is? The Spider Woman? [00:16:35] Speaker A: I don't. [00:16:37] Speaker B: How do you not know this? How many 70s comics have you read? Like, a lot of them. Well, anyway, I don't know why I'm talking. I know I don't know what I'm doing right now. Do you want to steer this back on track so we can actually cover this book? [00:16:55] Speaker A: You know, steering is why we put the felt on the shoes of the feet of the horse. It makes them easy to steal. [00:17:05] Speaker B: What is literally happening right now? I have no idea what is. What in the. What is literally happening on this podcast. I have no fucking clue what's happening right now. You keep talking about eating horses and felting their feet. [00:17:21] Speaker A: I'm just joking. I haven't. [00:17:22] Speaker B: And we've only gotten through the title. And all I did was ask you if you knew what literature references was to. And you could have just said no. [00:17:30] Speaker A: And I haven't eaten any horses. I just. I've heard. [00:17:35] Speaker B: You've heard that eating them is good, but you haven't eaten them. How are we back on this? [00:17:39] Speaker A: I wanted to clear it up for the listeners. Greg does not eat the horse. [00:17:44] Speaker B: Well, there's a singer at a night club, and she's singing. Nobody ever sings about the bad girls because the bad girls are sad. [00:17:55] Speaker A: Yes. [00:17:57] Speaker B: Is that true? [00:17:59] Speaker A: I mean, in this case, yes. Yes. One could say that this particular bad girl that might be being sung about or at least referenced in this song or in this book, she might be a bad, sad girl. A girl who is sad and bad. One might say she is the saddest and baddest of them all. [00:18:26] Speaker B: I cannot stop this. I don't know how to stop this. I don't know what's happening. I don't know how to stop it. It's like a nightmare. Like, I've had nightmares where I'm driving down I5 and there are no exits and you can't get off. And this is what this is like. [00:18:40] Speaker A: She's what they would call a saddy baddie, and. And she's green. [00:18:46] Speaker B: This is what this is like. I can't get off. I can't get out of the car. There's no exits, and it just keeps going. [00:18:51] Speaker A: We've done this all our lives, Dan. You've been in the car with me, driving along. [00:18:56] Speaker B: And we have more lyrics on the page. And everybody sings about the good girls because the good girls are glad. Till you've been around once or twice. You can't tell the naughty from the nice. Okay, so this is a whole song about the whole story. We've been for eight, seven issues because we're counting the tails from the human target. [00:19:19] Speaker A: Tails. Target. Tails. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Okay, well, fire is there with Christopher Chance and asks him if he wants to dance. And he's like, why not? She's smoking a cigarette. She puts it out. I feel like the cigarettes are important for some reason, but I don't know why. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Takes a chance to dance with Christopher Chance. [00:19:40] Speaker B: Why don't you just read the lyrics? Because we already have rhyming in here and there's no demon intriguent. You don't need to rhyme every time we see something. [00:19:47] Speaker A: I don't have to rhyme every time. Each and every line. If I don't, it would be possible. [00:19:56] Speaker B: I'm going to make it through this. [00:19:57] Speaker A: This want to make Dan whine. It's just. [00:19:59] Speaker B: I don't know what's happening. [00:20:04] Speaker A: I'm sorry, Dan. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Everything okay? Well, I quit. I quit. Greg, you have next page that has day seven on it. Go. It's yours. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Day seven. Oh, there's more rhyming, more lyrics. Do you want to hear it? All right, I'll start from the top. No. They dance. Her and Mr. Chance. Around and around they go. [00:20:32] Speaker B: That's not the lyrics in the book. I thought you were going to read the lyrics in the book. [00:20:40] Speaker A: I had a dream I went to see the devil and there was a devil today. He said in an awful. Oh, wait, I can't read. He said I'm awful. [00:20:53] Speaker B: You sound like, like, the worst beatnik poet. Like, depressing. Like what? Like you just opened, like, a poetry book and started reading on the stage, like, at a crappy bookstore in, like, Kent, Washington. [00:21:08] Speaker A: Oh, no. Reading like that. I. My bifocals are giving me a tough time to read this from such a distance. I know. It's terrible. Getting old. Why are you so busy? Tell me why. He reviled and winked his other eye. [00:21:32] Speaker B: What are you talking about? [00:21:34] Speaker A: There's a little bit of bad in every good little girl. They're not to blame, though. They seem like. [00:21:45] Speaker B: I don't even know what pager on. [00:21:47] Speaker A: I'm on the next page. Dan, do you want to hear what was on the next page? [00:21:51] Speaker B: Well, you skipped the whole day seven page. [00:21:53] Speaker A: Well. Oh, that's fine. Well, I. [00:22:00] Speaker B: That's all good. We don't. We don't really need that page. More importantly, we have a lounge singer singing for two pages. And it's summarizing the whole story, talking about the difference between potentially, like, how people can think of Fire and Ice, the two characters. It's almost like a summary of their history. Blah, blah, blah. She's dancing with Christopher Chance, and some dude comes in with a gun. Or lots of guys come in with guns and they're all wearing superhero masks. [00:22:29] Speaker A: You got the Batman. You got the slide. [00:22:31] Speaker B: And they say, everybody shut the blank up. Because, remember, we can't cuss in these books, even though they're rated for adults and we have sex scenes in them. [00:22:38] Speaker A: So no bad words, but bad things can happen. [00:22:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. And everything bad is happening. And Fire just looks at Christopher Chance and says, I want to keep dancing. [00:23:04] Speaker A: Yeah, she wants to keep. [00:23:06] Speaker B: And then she uses her powers in a way I've never seen her use her powers before. [00:23:11] Speaker A: She makes it hot. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Yeah, she's just. She's using, I guess, some sort of pyrokinetic ability. But she's turns on her green flame, and it makes the guns hot. And the bad guys all drop their guns and cuss a lot and they leave. [00:23:46] Speaker A: Yeah, they just go for a walk. [00:23:50] Speaker B: They just let the bad guys stay there with their burnt hands and leave. [00:23:55] Speaker A: I mean, you know, Christopher Chance isn't a superhero by any. By any stretch of the means. He's just a guy. [00:24:01] Speaker B: I feel like fire is, though. [00:24:02] Speaker A: She's a superhero. And, yes, she's a superhero. She stops crimes and does things. But Christopher Chance is just a guy dressed up as another guy dressed up as another guy who gets shot or stabbed by another guy. [00:24:17] Speaker B: It's true. I mean, well, they go for a walk. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Yeah, they go for a walk. She smokes a little. She smokes some more. She wants to go on a Ferris wheel. [00:24:33] Speaker B: Yeah. And he's like, okay, let's go on a Ferris wheel. And he's thinking. Now he's narrating. Everybody has a trick to them, a way they organize the world. It makes some sense to become someone. All you have to do is learn that trick. The trick to Luther is taking as if all the rules that govern good society are actually just rude suggestions that you are obligated to ignore. You're better than all that. He's thinking to himself. Okay. And Luther calls him in the middle of all this. [00:25:18] Speaker A: I think. Actually, I think he. He. He acts as Luther. [00:25:25] Speaker B: Oh, is he acting? [00:25:26] Speaker A: Yeah, he. He puts on a. He. He puts on his best le. [00:25:32] Speaker B: Oh, I see. Yeah, that's. Oh, so that's what his moral compromise problem is. [00:25:37] Speaker A: And he. [00:25:38] Speaker B: Because he's acting as Luther and he feels bad about it. [00:25:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And he tells the kid on the other line to get the Ferris wheel running because he wouldn't want to make me mad. [00:25:52] Speaker B: So he's using his superpowers of super disguise. Super ventriloquism. Super voice throwing. Okay, not super ventriloquism. Yeah, super voice throwing. [00:26:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:08] Speaker B: Super. No, not even voice throwing. It just be like, super. He's basically Dana Carvey. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Yeah, he's. He's. He's becoming. He's putting on that other skin. He's crawling inside of it, wearing it around. What? [00:26:21] Speaker B: He's. He's basically your favorite Dana Carvey movie. [00:26:24] Speaker A: Yes. He's the master of disguise. They're gonna go to the Turtley Turtle club later. Am I not turtle? Am I not turtle enough? [00:26:36] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't. I don't. [00:26:38] Speaker A: He wants to have the asparagus. [00:26:42] Speaker B: Well, they start the Ferris wheel for Christopher Chance. And Fire who. I'm not sure why Fire would ever need to go to a Ferris wheel. Like, she can fly. [00:26:51] Speaker A: I mean, she wants to see the lights. You know, who doesn't want to see? [00:26:59] Speaker B: She's like, Lex is going to be mad. She's making fun of him. I was so invigorated by this conversation that I just did a big yawn. [00:27:09] Speaker A: Dean's tired, he's sleepy. [00:27:12] Speaker B: Dan is sleepy. But I don't know that that has much of an impact. So we get them into this Ferris wheel now they finally actually start talking about whether or not Fire is trying to murder him. And we get a whole page of them riding on the Ferris. This is such. I love the small wood art. [00:27:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:36] Speaker B: So we get the Ferris wheel moving and you get the whole like recap of what's just happened. So we get the it's time for our Yu Gi oh Yu Gi oh page where we get the last time on Yu Gi oh last time. And we get the recap of him figuring everything out that led to her. And he starts grilling her for it. [00:28:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:05] Speaker B: And then George Foreman, she's like, we flipped a page. She's like, well, I grew up in the favela, so you're gonna have to tell me what that is. [00:28:13] Speaker A: Okay. So something I should. So it's basically like the bad part of town. In most Brazilian cities when I went to go visit my family down there, my aunt's brother in law brought me out to where they all came from, which is from the favela. And he stopped the truck and told me to get out because I thought, I thought we were going to go walk around and he's going to show me some stuff. And then he, he started the truck up and left me there for like, he drove down, like, I thought honestly he was going to leave me there. And then, wow, it was, it was enlightening. But now he, he, he just drove down a few blocks and I could see the truck. And then I got back to him and I was like, man, I thought you're gonna leave me here? He's like, no, no. I just wanted you to experience it, to walk the streets for. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Wow. Well, well, Fire thought it was a pretty place. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Um, it's. They, they definitely. There's a lot of artwork around. I think if you, if you grow up there and you're from there, it's, it can be very, very, very beautiful. Very different. Being not from there is very scary for a moment just because you get a lot of people looking at you like oh, hey, it's a walking atm, so, you know. But yeah, it's okay. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Yeah, that makes sense. Well, Fire continues to have the conversation and talks about how she worked as a kind of a history of all the parts of the character that have been shared with the global guardians and everything, right. She was been portrayed as a model, an actress, a spy. It's kind of going through the different pieces of the history of the character and. But she, she. She simplifies herself into a sex symbol, right? And just says she was the girl everyone wanted to kiss. So she talks about being objectified, but then it's like, do you want to kiss me? And she's like, most do. And Chance kind of plays it off as I don't doubt it. And then she goes into a discussion about how most men have been objectifying her her whole life. And she keeps talking about what other men wanted and objective objectifying her. And then ask him what he wants. And then we flip the page and he's. Chance goes back into recounting what his father did about he was a taxman and everything. And he starts to get. He is there at the top of the Ferris wheel and he starts to step off and he says, so, you know, he took a bit from everyone. This is the summary of thinking he could make some profit off of it, return whatever was missing before anyone notices his dad. And of course, he lost it all. And Chance says in response to Fire saying, what the fuck are you doing? I mean, what the symbols are you doing? Yeah, what do I want? And he said, I want you to catch me. And she sees him and the Smallwood painting here, or watercolor or it's pencil and ink, right? But it always looks like watercolor to me anyway. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Cool. The way his art style over this, like the page just looks so amazing. [00:32:39] Speaker B: The way he colors it is really neat. And he talks about his father sobering up and then him going and crawling into bed with him and getting a kiss on the head, kind of being comforted by his dad when things were going wrong. And in the same way, Fire flies down and. And save. We don't actually see her save him, we just see her going after him. [00:33:15] Speaker A: It's like I'm imagining it was like a last second save because he, you know, he is. He's pretty far down there. [00:33:26] Speaker B: But then the next scene you see is them on the boardwalk walking. And I believe she's burned her dress off because she wasn't wearing her superhero costume and she's wearing his jacket. And she tells him, you're insane. He's like, and you're a superhero. And she's like, I thought you said I was a murderer. And they get back into that whole scene. So now it's. The interrogation is on again, right? [00:34:00] Speaker A: It's never stopped. [00:34:03] Speaker B: And he says, you poisoned me. You saved me. It all washes out. You're still good. And they don't talk for a minute. And then she gets mad, and she's like, you're killing yourself to get a confession. He's like, I'm the human target. I win by dying, you win. Who loses? What about Ice? Now she's trying to protect her friend, and he's basically like, what do I have to worry about? I know you'll always take care of her. Hell, you'd kill for her. Now we're back to that. And she slaps him. Which, that was a surprise for me. [00:34:51] Speaker A: Honestly, that she'd get so, Like. [00:34:52] Speaker B: I'm not sure why that would make her so mad to slap him. [00:34:55] Speaker A: Well, I. She's. She's very. I mean, she. She's. There's a lot of. There's a lot of emotion wrapped up in all this. I mean, she cares for Ice. She's. She's got a lot of stuff going on in that aspect. And, you know, he's. He's calling her out on all these things, and, you know, she's very. It's a very. An emotionally charged situation, you know, and. [00:35:20] Speaker B: She'S fighting, and he just starts grilling her. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:23] Speaker B: You had the weapon. You had the motive. You did it. You wanted to kill Luther. He keeps. She keeps hitting him. And then finally he grabs her arm. And after she hits him, what, four times? And she grabs arm, she says, I bet you want to kiss. You want to kiss me now? Interesting. And then he says, I wake up in the afternoon, and she's next to me. We flip the page. You see chances. Face in bed. Before I can say anything, I lose my breath. I'm getting used to dying. You move, and the hurt inside you tries to claw its way out. You get your medicine. He drinks some more whiskey. And you push it back down. You shouldn't be here. And it's ice. It's not fire. [00:36:22] Speaker A: That's a. A big. A big. You know. Who could it be? [00:36:30] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I was. I. I don't think this one tricked me in this issue. I don't think. I think it was. [00:36:36] Speaker A: I. Honestly, I. That whole interaction between them, it could. I mean, it could have gone either way. Could have gone either way in my mind. That's why you put the felt on the horse's feet, Dan. [00:36:51] Speaker B: Well, Chance reminds Ice that they agreed to keep a little distance for a while, just in case they started looking for Guy after they murdered Guy Gardner. Iced him and. Yeah, in self defense, maybe. Yeah, maybe, maybe. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Maybe they just murdered him straight up. [00:37:16] Speaker B: And she's like. She's like, nothing cleaner. I checked with the Justice League alert all night. No one's looking for him. I decided I was safe. And he's like, then you came here. She's like, I was tired and I couldn't sleep. He's like, I couldn't sleep either because he was up all night with Fire interrogating her. And you just get a whole page of him taking the shower, and then Ice coming into the shower with him, and he's talking about he couldn't sleep either until he was sleeping next to her. This is a fascinating, very quick relationship happening as this man's about to die. [00:38:03] Speaker A: I mean, sometimes things just can't wait, man. You know, you just. You get together and it just all clicks to place. Just like a Lego. [00:38:15] Speaker B: Well, they're lying in bed and Fire calls them and wants them to come over. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:23] Speaker B: And I says to Chance, she wants to see you. She says, you passed her test. So basically, she was protecting her friend the whole time. [00:38:34] Speaker A: The whole time. [00:38:35] Speaker B: If he turned out to be a sleazeball and slept with her, I don't think he would have passed the test. [00:38:40] Speaker A: Not at all. [00:38:45] Speaker B: And he's narrating the next page. I can feel them both, the hot and the cold waves of each flowing over me like a fever breaking Fire and Ice. And Fire says to Ice, you're the prettiest thing. You always shine. And Ice is like, stop. And they're ready to drink wine together. And Fire's like, I pushed him every which way. Dancing the stars, a little anger. He didn't move, make a move on me. It's rare. He's a good one. And Ice says to them both. Well, to one of them, presumably, I don't need you to defend me. And Fire's like, who are you talking to? And Chance says, it's been a long day. So they kind of both let that sink in, right? And Fire admits that she got the money from the Martian Manhunter and she used it to get the water from Booster. But I didn't poison anyone. [00:40:07] Speaker A: Oh, dun, dun, dun. [00:40:10] Speaker B: That's her claim, anyway. And Chance is like, okay, say I believe you. You didn't do it, but you had the weapon in your Hand. Who did you give it to? And she says, you're going to kill him. And now he narrates back, seven days ago, I was murdered. Six days ago, I met Ice. Three days ago, we kissed. Yesterday, we killed a superhero. Everything is going well. While Fire is saying, you swear to me someone did something they shouldn't have, that's fine. And they can face whatever they have coming, but I'm not going to be responsible for anyone dying. Ice is like, we swore. Come on. We're the good guys. We don't kill anyone. And Fire is like, he was very upset. He said it was for you, to help you, but couldn't tell you about it. You know him. He's crazy, but he can be sweet, too. [00:41:05] Speaker A: Mm. [00:41:07] Speaker B: And she's like, guy, ask for the water. And she did. To be continued. Well, isn't that the end of the story? Then we know. [00:41:20] Speaker A: We know the answer. It's simple. [00:41:22] Speaker B: It's easy. [00:41:23] Speaker A: Wait, but he already killed Guy. [00:41:26] Speaker B: Guy Gardner did it. Yeah. And Guy's dead, so we know. [00:41:29] Speaker A: Story over. [00:41:29] Speaker B: That's it. [00:41:30] Speaker A: Case closed. Done. [00:41:32] Speaker B: Case closed. There can't be four more issues. [00:41:37] Speaker A: Say it. Pack it up, man. [00:41:40] Speaker B: That's it. This book is so good. [00:41:42] Speaker A: It is good. Now you got me yawning. I yawned. Sorry, everybody. [00:41:46] Speaker B: I'm sorry. [00:41:47] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it is. It's a solid. [00:41:49] Speaker B: Well, they can't see us yawning unless we tell them. [00:41:51] Speaker A: I know. Well, I was pretty loud, so. [00:41:53] Speaker B: Really, it's because we're just both exhausted. And we're here for you. [00:41:56] Speaker A: We're here for you, the listeners of the Funny Book Forensics. Here for you because, you know, we want to make sure that you are enjoying the things that we bring to you here at Funny Book Forensics. Brought to you on our Stream, provided by project-nerd.com. [00:42:13] Speaker B: Hold up. Timeout. You gotta do the advertisements, right? Number one, our stream is not provided by. [00:42:19] Speaker A: Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Back up, Everybody. [00:42:22] Speaker B: It'd be project-nerd.com. we provide our own stream. However, project-nerd.com is a wonderful place to help us expand to new audience members. Because they promote our podcast on their site. [00:42:41] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:44] Speaker B: I want to give them the credit they deserve, not the credit for things. [00:42:47] Speaker A: They're correct. You're correct. You're correct. [00:42:50] Speaker B: And they also do this thing for another podcast. Was that something about Spandex? [00:42:57] Speaker A: The Spandex Twins? No, the Spandex Twins. Spandex Fandex. [00:43:07] Speaker B: I feel like those. I feel like those were in your Boy Scout troop. And my Boy Scout troop. [00:43:11] Speaker A: Yes. [00:43:15] Speaker B: No, that would be Spandex standups. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Spandex standups. Okay. Okay. [00:43:21] Speaker B: There's also another podcast called Two Guys One. [00:43:23] Speaker A: Two Guys, One Film, where it's two guys watching one film and they talk about the film that they watched, and it's just two guys watching a film. It's kind of like us talking about a comic book that we've read. [00:43:44] Speaker B: No, it's not like. [00:43:45] Speaker A: I know it's true. It's not. [00:43:47] Speaker B: It's not like. Don't. Like. Their podcast is actually good. [00:43:51] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Their podcast is actually good. Our podcast is. Well, I mean, it's a podcast. [00:43:58] Speaker B: Yes. So it's. [00:44:00] Speaker A: Our podcast is fun. It has levity. It's great. I give you great recipes about horses and tell you. [00:44:07] Speaker B: You could also pre order a copy of the. For. [00:44:09] Speaker A: You could order the. You could order the fork the head. [00:44:11] Speaker B: Of project is making. [00:44:14] Speaker A: Follow along for updates when SMA comes out on Kickstarter. [00:44:20] Speaker B: You could also shop at the Retro Emporium on Meeker street in Kent, Washington. [00:44:26] Speaker A: What? The Retro Emporium. [00:44:28] Speaker B: And relive your childhood. [00:44:29] Speaker A: Yeah, relive your childhood. Come check out the record room in the back. [00:44:32] Speaker B: You could visit Jiu Jitsu lawyer Paul Boudreau at Certified Martial Arts. Oh, yeah. On Bridgeport Way and 27th in University Place, Tacoma. You could also use them for legal. [00:44:48] Speaker A: That's what I do. [00:44:50] Speaker B: Yeah. And I mean, there's just a lot of things you can do. [00:44:53] Speaker A: A lot. [00:44:54] Speaker B: But primarily, the number one thing you should be doing is not listening to us. Butcher this book. But read it yourself. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Read it yourself. [00:45:02] Speaker B: Do yourself a service and join along with us for the next episode where. [00:45:07] Speaker A: We talk about book eight, Number eight. Because it's super great. [00:45:10] Speaker B: And we visit an old friend named Dimitri. [00:45:12] Speaker A: Dimitri. Oh. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Who was not a Manhunter. [00:45:18] Speaker A: Not a Manhunter. [00:45:20] Speaker B: Because no man can stop the Manhunters. [00:45:26] Speaker A: He's a Red Rocket. [00:45:30] Speaker B: He is a Red Rocket. That name is not a Manhunter. [00:45:35] Speaker A: What a. What a name. [00:45:39] Speaker B: Rocket Red. He's Rocket Red, but he's not a Manhunter. I don't care what they said. I don't care what they said in those books. [00:45:45] Speaker A: He's not a Manhunter. [00:45:48] Speaker B: He's Dimitri. [00:45:49] Speaker A: He's Dimitri. [00:45:51] Speaker B: He's a good guy. [00:45:52] Speaker A: He likes. [00:45:53] Speaker B: He's a family man. [00:45:54] Speaker A: He only drinks when it's time. [00:45:56] Speaker B: Family man. Be the subject of the next. [00:45:58] Speaker A: I don't know. Tune in. [00:46:00] Speaker B: He seems like the least likely person to kill Christopher Chance. [00:46:06] Speaker A: I. You know, I think it's just a conversation. [00:46:10] Speaker B: Wait why are we having a conversation about who killed Christopher Chance? We know that Guy Gardner did it. [00:46:14] Speaker A: I know. No, I think it's. It's. They're just having a conversation. [00:46:19] Speaker B: Oh, my God. What if it was the Tasmanian Devil? [00:46:25] Speaker A: The Tasmanian Devil from Tasmania? [00:46:31] Speaker B: What if the Tasmanian Devil came back and it was friends with fire and ice and murdered Lex Luthor, but accidentally killed Christopher Chance? [00:46:46] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. That would be. [00:46:49] Speaker B: You never know. That could happen. It could be the Tasmanian Devil. [00:46:52] Speaker A: You don't know. And that's why we're going to cover the rest of the books. Even though we know Guy Gardner did it and he's dead. [00:47:00] Speaker B: We know that you know that I know that you know that I know. [00:47:05] Speaker A: That only sad girls are bad girls, and bad girls are sad. [00:47:09] Speaker B: I'd love to. Oh, bad girls. Talking about. That's what you're getting. [00:47:16] Speaker A: No, I was singing the song from the beginning of the book. [00:47:18] Speaker B: Did I have the wrong song pulled up? [00:47:21] Speaker A: I was just talking about the beginning of the book about the sad girl. Bad girls. The baddest saddies are the sad, bad girls. Yeah, Baddest saddies or the saddest baddies? I don't know. Oh, kind of. See, he gets mad at me for playing stuff on the soundboard, but then he can pull up songs on his phone and it's okay. All is forgiven. [00:47:49] Speaker B: Maybe it was the right thing for the episode. Okay, well, on this note, I'm cutting this episode off because I. [00:47:56] Speaker A: It's done. [00:47:57] Speaker B: It's jumped the shark multiple times. Fonzie is gone. He was actually jumped the shark, then fell off his jet ski and was eaten by the shark. [00:48:07] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:48:09] Speaker B: Which, honestly, would have been better for Happy Days. What? [00:48:11] Speaker A: No. [00:48:14] Speaker B: At that time, it would have been better for Happy Days ratings. [00:48:16] Speaker A: Okay? [00:48:19] Speaker B: And maybe. But maybe if it wasn't better for. Maybe that would have ended Happy Days and we never would have gotten Joanie Loves Chachi. Oh, yeah, and then we wouldn't have to hear that douche noggle support people in politics. [00:48:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I'm glad that they're reviving the show and we get the new Joanie Loves Chachi, which is just a spin off of the Sheldon show. [00:48:49] Speaker B: That's not Joanie Loves Chachi. [00:48:52] Speaker A: Sure as heck looks like it to me. [00:48:55] Speaker B: I'm not going to watch it. [00:48:57] Speaker A: I'm not going to watch it. I'm waiting for the next spin. [00:49:01] Speaker B: I haven't even watched the last three seasons of Young Sheldon because. Because I. As excited as I was at looking for Legion of Superheroes Comics, in the background of the comic book store. Every time they went to the comic. [00:49:12] Speaker A: Book store, it just pops up in the. [00:49:16] Speaker B: And as much as I love Annie. [00:49:18] Speaker A: Potts, you just can't bring yourself to doing it. [00:49:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I've lost. I lost interest. [00:49:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I understand. It always pops up when my grandmother's going to bed. And the show, it's syndication wise. It's like, it's that in between show. So it's like, oh, it's on in syndication, so I'll just, like, leave the TV on in the background while I'm doing other stuff. [00:49:42] Speaker B: I mean, I liked it at the beginning. I don't know, I just started to lose interest. [00:49:46] Speaker A: Fair enough, fair enough. [00:49:49] Speaker B: Like, I like the episode where he tells his dad that seven is more than three and they should stop going for field goals in the football games. That was fun. But yeah, I mean, anyway. Well, so much for Young Sheldon cast. And this probably wraps up an episode of Funny Book Forensics. I'm Dan and that's Greg. And next week we'll be covering another episode of Young Sheldon. So come back. Bye, everyone. [00:50:21] Speaker A: Bye. No.