Funny Book Forensics 374 I Am Not..

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Okay, Grant. So we're here and we have this random issue that was plopped in the middle of the human target series called Tales of the Human target. [00:00:14] Speaker A: I didn't know the human target had multiple tails. Like a dog that has two tails. [00:00:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I was gonna ask you a random question to start the podcast because what I was thinking about, I went, as you pointed out, this will be released long after I went to this concert. But I went to a super fun concert that you chose not to go to. [00:00:34] Speaker A: Choices were made. Now I am very kicking myself for not going. I should have just closed the store and said, going. Yes. [00:00:44] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I could tell the audience what I did. I am an old, white, nerdy guy. So I went to see the oldest, whitest, nerdiest singer, Ben. [00:00:55] Speaker A: Oh, I thought you say Jim Croshy. [00:00:59] Speaker B: No, he's. [00:01:00] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean, that have been. That would have been amazing if you went and saw him. [00:01:04] Speaker B: That's not cool. He has family. [00:01:09] Speaker A: No, no, I realize how it all came out. I don't want Dan dead, Jim Croce's family. No, I also, I also. You had gone to see him. [00:01:26] Speaker B: I mean, it could have been because you, you don't like, but don't, you know, to not mess around with him. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah. No, yeah. You know. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Cuz, you know, you don't tug on an old man's cape. That's Superman's cape for man's cape. Yeah. You don't. [00:01:47] Speaker A: I've done it before. It doesn't work out off the, you. [00:01:51] Speaker B: Know, you don't take the mask off the old long Ranger. [00:01:54] Speaker A: The Lone Ranger. [00:01:55] Speaker B: Lone Ranger, the Long Ranger. [00:01:57] Speaker A: I don't know where you. What song you've been listening to. [00:02:02] Speaker B: I already know where my mind is tonight. So anyway, you're on the long Ranger. Yeah, it's on long things. That's true. [00:02:11] Speaker A: So you. [00:02:14] Speaker B: Well, I was just. But I was thinking like. But then unfortunately, I was listening to the end ten. Famous for being turned into a terrible radio station by MTV's the Real World. [00:02:29] Speaker A: It was one of the best radio stations when we were younger. [00:02:33] Speaker B: Yes. It was a small independent rock station in Eatonville, Washington. [00:02:38] Speaker A: And then it turned into whatever we have now that it is. [00:02:43] Speaker B: I don't know, but it is what my. It is what my radio is set to like when the car turns on because, you know, 7.7 and on the way to work out. On the way to work out. So I have a question for you, because on the way to work out at certified martial arts. [00:03:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:01] Speaker B: In on 27th in, Jack. 27th in. Sorry, Bridgeport, in university Place, slash, Tacoma, Washington, home of jiu jitsu lawyer Paul Boudreau, who very recently, at the North American Grappling association tournament in Salem, Oregon, won two golds and two silvers. [00:03:21] Speaker A: That's. [00:03:22] Speaker B: And was very angry. [00:03:23] Speaker A: He's very angry. Very frustrating, because he only once he didn't get the golds. Well, yeah. [00:03:30] Speaker B: You wanted all. [00:03:31] Speaker A: I mean, I hear he's got an. [00:03:32] Speaker B: Opportunity, as we do, as one does. [00:03:34] Speaker A: You know, he's. He's got a match coming up pretty soon. [00:03:40] Speaker B: He does. He does. It's at. It's on the. You know what? You know this? Yeah. You look up the match while I ask. I'll look up the match while I ask you a question. I have something for you. [00:03:49] Speaker A: I'll ponder the question. [00:03:50] Speaker B: So. So the question is this, because I heard a song on the way there and a song on the way back. Now, on the way back, I will say that I did turn this song off when it got to the chorus, because I just. It's. It's. Well, anyway, let's queue this up for the listeners. So the question is for Greg, before we get into this very random issue, I had a random question. Okay. Which song is demonstrably worse? Closing time or we are young? [00:04:17] Speaker A: Oh, man. Hit them both with a brick. Now I'm drowning in my thoughts. [00:04:24] Speaker B: The drowning slowly. [00:04:27] Speaker A: The instantly. As someone who's worked a ton of retail jobs, food service jobs, in order to get people out of a store or a place, we would often play closing time. So that. That resonates with me as probably one of the worst, just because it's like, it's there and you always hear it. And then on the receiving end of it, as you're like, in a place and people play it, you're like, oh, gosh, you're getting closing time. But then at the same time, on the other hand, we were young. The song, it sounds so inviting and enticing and great. Then you listen to it. [00:05:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And then it's horrible. Like, the chorus comes and it falls. [00:05:20] Speaker A: Off a cliff, and then you're like, man, it's almost closing time. I should change the channel. [00:05:32] Speaker B: I did. I mean, I just turned. [00:05:33] Speaker A: I didn't even change the channel to the sweet sound. [00:05:39] Speaker B: No, that's. Turn the radio off. [00:05:41] Speaker A: I made a sweet sound. [00:05:42] Speaker B: But, yeah, you know, I would like to point out, though, too, that before the podcast. No, this was during the podcast. [00:05:50] Speaker A: This is. [00:05:50] Speaker B: I'm so confused. First, you invoke poor, dear, dearly departed Jim Croce. [00:05:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:58] Speaker B: And now you invoke dearly departed Eric Carmen. Now, what is wrong with you today? [00:06:04] Speaker A: I, you know, I'm feeling. [00:06:07] Speaker B: I'm like you're cutting jokes off of recently deceased singers. Like, I'm supposed to be the class in this. [00:06:17] Speaker A: I'm not hating anybody that's recently passed in the last, like, 24 hours because that's too. That. Honestly, if people like time stampede the day that we're recording this, this is like one of the most wildest 48 hours, 24 to 48 hours of celebrity. And just any, you know, like, it's too wild. Too wild. So many. It's supposed to be three, not seven or eight. It's too many. [00:06:48] Speaker B: This is, this is, this is. Yeah, it's a wild day here. We can give them a hint on what day this is that we're recording. This is Jimmy Carter's 100th birthday. [00:07:01] Speaker A: My grandma. [00:07:02] Speaker B: That's all I'm going to say, and that's all I'm going to comment on. [00:07:05] Speaker A: My grandma said 100, and I'm only almost 93. [00:07:13] Speaker B: Well, jujitsu lawyer Paul will be having a jujitsu match against Ali Hamad Hamdani. Yeah, this is. Yeah, I hope I got the name right now, because now, the thing that scares me about this jiu jitsu match is that Mister Hamdani is fighting in the main event of another card in a couple days from the recording of this podcast in a MMA match. But this is a jujitsu match. We don't want Jujutsu lur Paul to get hit in the head ever. Right. So it'd be a bad idea for him to, like, fight in a match like that. I believe he told me once, jujutsu's lawyer Paul, that said, now, if the fight was for over six figures, that he would do it. Yeah, but anyway, yeah, so that's where we're at. But he will be in a match on November 16, 2024, at angel of the winds. [00:08:14] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Casino. And if you're from the northwest, you get that. Angel of the winds. Angel of the winds. Angel of the winds. I hate their commercials, by the way. Angels of the winds. Angel of the winds. It's so terrible. Angel of the. [00:08:31] Speaker A: It's a very nice casino. [00:08:32] Speaker B: So I've never been there. The casino with the worst commercial. I've never been there. [00:08:37] Speaker A: I've passed it many a time. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Is it in Arlington? [00:08:42] Speaker A: I mean, up past Everett as you're going on the way? [00:08:46] Speaker B: Oh, well, this is perfect. At angel the winds Casino in Arlington. Hang on, angel of the winds. You could win a. I don't know if this podcast will be out before this, so it may be, but you could get entries every day to win a truck or rv. So it really is in Arlington. [00:09:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:09] Speaker B: All right. South sound lives on Bam. All right. It's a run ass ugly rv, too. What is this thing? [00:09:19] Speaker A: It's the one from stripes. Angel of the wind. [00:09:27] Speaker B: Well, anyway, I guess we should resay the date. It was on November 16. So if you want to go out and see jujitsu lawyer Paul, get it on. [00:09:35] Speaker A: Or, I mean, like, whatever. [00:09:37] Speaker B: Yeah, he also, in his poster, he looks very like. He looks like he doesn't care at all who about to happen. [00:09:43] Speaker A: He's like, yeah, whatever, bring it. He's just. [00:09:46] Speaker B: He's like, whatever, I've got a make tick. I. Yeah, I believe his. I believe his answer to this was, does it pay? And the answer was yes. And he said, fine, put me in the cardinal. I'll do that. So. Yep. Just grappling though. No, no. Hitting the face. [00:10:07] Speaker A: I'll submit to the card. He'll submit to me. Ah, yeah. [00:10:14] Speaker B: Paul will submit to you. [00:10:15] Speaker A: Wait, no, no, Paul will submit to Paul. No, no, Paul will submit to the card. And then you put on a mega. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Man costume and you think you're amazing. [00:10:26] Speaker A: And then. And then he will. And then. And then. And then his opponent will submit to Paul. [00:10:33] Speaker B: If only I could describe Greg right now. Greg's wearing, like, a mega man hoodie. It's. [00:10:39] Speaker A: I don't know why it's cold today. [00:10:42] Speaker B: Probably because it was in the room. [00:10:43] Speaker A: It's cold today. [00:10:45] Speaker B: Well, anyway, I don't know. [00:10:48] Speaker A: Should we get started here 20 minutes later? Sure. [00:10:52] Speaker B: Oh, okay. That's fine. You know what? As long as we're talking about other things, then that's fine. Hey, I was on a podcast. Yeah. Called Saturday morning Cartoons comics cereal. And you can find that podcast at smc three pod.com. that's SmC three pod.com. i was on season two, episode one, and because I talk so much, it's a double sized episode. [00:11:18] Speaker A: Double sized because it's Dan. [00:11:20] Speaker B: It was only. [00:11:21] Speaker A: So. It's double Dan. [00:11:22] Speaker B: Yeah, we gotta. We gotta thank listener Jason for having me on the podcast. And you can get that again at SmC three pod.com. he called it a double size episode. We talk about the super friends, not just the super friends. We talked about the challenge of the. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Super friends, where they're on that MTV show the challenge, and the super friends are. Are battling it out, or that's a podcast that I'm on with Saul. Okay, I'm sorry. [00:11:58] Speaker B: What are you talking about? Reality television again? Please stop. [00:12:07] Speaker A: You brought up the real world, and the challenge brings people from the real world show into the. [00:12:14] Speaker B: I brought up the real world from a point of hatred, and I brought. [00:12:18] Speaker A: It up from a point. Point of love. [00:12:23] Speaker B: Well, we were talking about Jason's podcast, not. Well, you can find your podcast about stupid reality. [00:12:32] Speaker A: I was just. I was goofing. I was goofing. Nobody. Nobody that listens to this podcast wants to listen to that podcast. They want to go check out Saturday morning cartoons. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Comics, comics, and cereal in cereal. That's why it's SMC, like, c cubed. Because cartoons, comics, and cereal. [00:12:53] Speaker A: So what was. I was gonna ask. Cereal was. But I don't want to know. I'm gonna listen to the episode so I can find out. [00:13:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Why would I give away all the stuff on the. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Why would I give away the secrets and the sauce? [00:13:08] Speaker B: Oh, no, you don't. That's how. [00:13:10] Speaker A: Yeah, listen, we're. We're done. You gotta go listen to the. You gotta go to Jason's podcast and check it out. [00:13:17] Speaker B: No, you gotta do both. You gotta keep knowing you're not gonna go. You tell you're trying to get rid of our. [00:13:23] Speaker A: Not saying. I'm saying go do it after the show. Go after. After our show. Listen to both shows. Download them both, and listen to them at the same time. [00:13:38] Speaker B: Yeah, and then listen to another podcast called with Greg and so called the challenge. Called. [00:13:45] Speaker A: No, it's called what? It's called the Spy shack. [00:13:50] Speaker B: The spy shack. Spy shack. What do spies have to do with terrible television? [00:13:56] Speaker A: It's a whole entire reference to survivor, where a guy had made a shack that he would split on the rest of the survivors. It's many seasons back when he made the spice shack. Come on down to the spy shack. [00:14:17] Speaker B: Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about. [00:14:18] Speaker A: You ask a question, you get an answer. You don't know. It's okay. [00:14:24] Speaker B: You know what? I just finished the 7th season of the Flash. [00:14:27] Speaker A: I'm proud. [00:14:28] Speaker B: And there was a flash. Actually, I liked the last half of the 7th season because the first half was terrible with all the forces, but the second half had impulse and excess. [00:14:42] Speaker A: So it was good. [00:14:43] Speaker B: Yes, but. But on the flash spoiler, excess and impulse are Barry and Iris kids, not their grandkids, which I get. Maybe it was confusing to add a layer, but then in the last episode, they said they might be changing the future. So maybe that means that Barry and Iris will have the tornado twins. Don and Don Allen. Don da wn and Don d o n. Yeah, yeah. And do you know why I know so much? Why tornado twins. [00:15:21] Speaker A: Do you know so much about the tornado twins? [00:15:24] Speaker B: Well, because they first appeared in a legion of superheroes story. [00:15:27] Speaker A: Get out of town. [00:15:30] Speaker B: Get out of here. Because Ira spent some time in the 30th century and she was pregnant and she had kid. She had the. [00:15:37] Speaker A: In the 30th century. [00:15:41] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I guess technically it'd be the 31st century. [00:15:43] Speaker A: 31St century. [00:15:44] Speaker B: Babies. Okay, well, anyways, not to distract us anymore. I don't know why I'm so distracted today. I do like the human target series. I will say this issue was my least favorite. [00:15:57] Speaker A: What are you talking about? This is such a good one because it's like. It's like one of those paperback novels that you get at a drugstore with all these vignette stories that you're like, I want more of that. But they only give you a little bit of it. And you're like, gosh darn it, I wish I had more. [00:16:18] Speaker B: I believe we call those an anthology. [00:16:20] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You're correct, sir. You're correct. [00:16:24] Speaker B: I believe you've written for anthologies before. I believe in one story, you implied that I would murder you. [00:16:31] Speaker A: I. Maybe, maybe just. [00:16:37] Speaker B: I'm just saying. Or Mike. [00:16:41] Speaker A: I believe. I believe. So maybe. Maybe. [00:16:46] Speaker B: It could have been about Mike. No, he seems like the guy to get really angry and murder someone. [00:16:52] Speaker A: A bunch of people. No. [00:16:56] Speaker B: You know, well, anyway, moving away from the stories that might not be about me were certainly not about me. But when I read, it, got the strange feeling that there was a twinge of Dan in the story. [00:17:08] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:17:09] Speaker B: I mean, where people are murdering people, I'm not sure. I mean, this is what happens when Greg's in an anthology. [00:17:15] Speaker A: Sometimes I write things about people. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Well, anyway, well, we have this book, tales of the human target, and Greg Smallwood does some of the art, but, man, we took a nosedive. But they really went out of their way to get some really other terrible artists to help with this book. [00:17:35] Speaker A: Gosh, Dan, I mean, hey, at least you're throwing out the opinion, your opinion out there from the start. You know, you're like. [00:17:46] Speaker B: I hope everyone knows I'm being massively sarcastic here. Kevin McGuire, Michael Janin and Raphael Albuquerque to do the. So, like, applaud Tom king for, like, being like, okay, if I'm gonna have to do this extra book in this twelve issue series, right? You're gonna go get me the Justice League guy and two other freaking ridiculously good artists, right? Like, so, yeah, I mean, you know, and the interesting thing is, the only thing I thought was really interesting about the artist choice is how those artists would flow with Smallwood style, and they don't even try to. [00:18:34] Speaker A: When I. My first opening of this book, I was like, whoa. It was a dramatic pause in my brain as it stuttered to a stop, and I was like, what happened? I don't. I closed it and I opened it back up again and thought maybe I had opened the wrong book. [00:18:58] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, that's a good point. So let's talk about the COVID for a second. We've got Christopher chance on the COVID with a target on his face. [00:19:16] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, man, hitman come after him. He's a pit man. [00:19:24] Speaker B: Now, I do think that the really interesting thing about this, about the first page, so we'll flip. By the way, cover is really sweet. It's got the yellow and pink kind of wash to it, but the human target comes into focus just, it's so. It's just, it's cool. You know what? [00:19:47] Speaker A: That. [00:19:47] Speaker B: That. That Greg Smallwood guy. Yeah, pretty good. Now, if only all people named Greg. [00:19:55] Speaker A: Could be good at comics. There's like, there's that. That Greg Smith, he's horrible. He's not so great. [00:20:03] Speaker B: I mean, that's what I heard. [00:20:05] Speaker A: I. Yeah. [00:20:11] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you know, but if only. If only you could get artists as cool as, wow. [00:20:18] Speaker A: I'm pretty sure if the artists that I work with heard this podcast, it'd be very upset because they think they're pretty good. [00:20:25] Speaker B: First off. First off, I paused halfway through the sentence because I would never take a shot at Brett ever. Like, Brett's, like, Brett's beyond reproach. I would not take a shot at his art ever. Cause it's always fantastic the second. So I'll take shots at you and Travis, but I can't ever take a shot at Brett. Like, it's impossible. [00:20:47] Speaker A: So nice, too. [00:20:49] Speaker B: It's like beating up. It's like beating up an art. Puppy dog, right? Like, it's like. Yeah, like, no. So I'm certainly not going to do that. The second thing I will say, you do have an artist as good as Greg Smallwood. So there we go. [00:21:06] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:21:07] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I think. I think that. I think that Brett's art is on the par, on the level. So just all preferred what style, but, I mean, they do do kind of a similar style, actually. But anyway, we flip to the first page, and I was like, I got that. [00:21:32] Speaker A: What is going on. [00:21:35] Speaker B: I mean, it's got to be a flashback, right? Guy Gardner and you got guy gardener. [00:21:38] Speaker A: And I'm like, wait a minute. What? [00:21:41] Speaker B: And he's looking bemused, drinking a beer, presumably, and he says, I think it's stupid, but you know me. Whatever you want. Any idea what that's all about? [00:21:56] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:21:59] Speaker B: Okay, I was. I mean, but as long as. Yeah, yeah. [00:22:12] Speaker A: And then you get this, like, next page of art, and it's like, what is going on? Because. [00:22:22] Speaker B: Yeah, and by the way, it looks like Greg Smallwood did the COVID Now we get to play guess the artist. [00:22:31] Speaker A: The artist. It's really good art, but it's nothing. It's not. It's not the right style that I'm used to, but it makes sense. [00:22:47] Speaker B: Is this Janin or. Well, it's not. We know who it's not, so we know it's not Smallwood, and we know it's not Kevin Guire. So is it Albuquerque or Jannon? [00:22:59] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:23:03] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:23:04] Speaker A: I'm sure we'll find out at some point. [00:23:07] Speaker B: No, it tells us in here, Albuquerque. And Dave Stewart do the Green Lantern story. Kevin McGuire does the booster gold story, which makes sense. And Michael Janon and Arif Priyanto do the fire story. And Kevin McGuire was inked by Alex Sinclair. So there's your it all. There's your rundown. So maybe this is Greg Smallwood. It open still? [00:23:36] Speaker A: Well, he. Then he took a totally different style. Like, he. He switched up his game. He flipped his game. Yo. [00:23:46] Speaker B: He. He is pretty talented. He probably can do that. I mean, you saw the COVID That. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Was one trick pony. [00:23:53] Speaker B: Well, no, it's like a wa. The covers like a wash and then a watercolor behind it. Right? [00:23:57] Speaker A: Pretty slick. So it looks. It looks like an old dime store novel. [00:24:03] Speaker B: All right, well, we get guy saying his thing. We flipped a page, and now we got Christopher Chance narrating like he does. He's like, you probably already heard this story. It was here in the news. Not that the news ever tells you anything. True. Is he like Maga or something? Like, what's going on here? I don't like that. I don't like that right now anyway, Gene. But sometimes it's on. It gets your attention, whatever. Some parents, Hollywood actors, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, like me, before I got in that bus accident, I had things going for me. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't think it's Christopher chance. I think it's guy Gardner talking, and that's why he sounds the way he does. Oh, snap. That'd make a lot more sense. [00:25:03] Speaker B: No. Yeah, but it's not. [00:25:04] Speaker A: You don't think it is? He just said he got in a bus accident. [00:25:09] Speaker B: No, it's this guy. He got kidnapped by brother blood. [00:25:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:15] Speaker B: It's cult leaders. Remember those guys from the Teen Titans? That'd be the new Teen Titans, not the old Teen Titans. And then do you remember when the story got really terrible and then it was like that the, they had like the, the brother blood. Like demon, not demon. Give it the beast. The wildebeest. No. Oh, that was the wildebeest society. That was a worst story. My bad. And then they had the brother blood in the last season of Titans on HBO. Max. And that story was interesting. So it wasn't super great. No, I mean, I watched it. [00:25:53] Speaker A: It was a story. [00:25:56] Speaker B: I watched it before I watched the end of the Flash. So I mean, yes, that. I mean, it's not it. You know, things happened. Well, we flipped the page and things jump up because we've got booster gold and he's like, first, you're talking to the right guy. I applied your decision to come to me. Very smart, very perceptive. That's who you are and I appreciate it. Second, I have no secrets. I got to read it all, don't I? I have no secrets. You ask me a question, you get an answer. I'm an honest guy, a truthful guy. Like, oh, I don't know, picking an analogy out of the air could be like anything. Let's say like supermande. I'm just like Superman. Third, I don't remember my third. Probably it was more about Superman and what else we have in common, which is a lot. Fourth, I don't remember fourth either. Let's skip 4th, 5th. Maybe we should just get started with the story, right? Yeah, it's with Superman. Would you and me what I would do. So me and Superman would do it the same as Superman, that is. You get it? And skeets is in the background just going sigh like a 1960s silver age book. Yeah. So we're getting the story started. So we've got some brother blood stuff. We had a booster cameo and now we get to Don Saliger, famous writer, and I, they go up and somebody is trying to kill him, shoots him. And then we turn the page. [00:27:45] Speaker A: And. [00:27:45] Speaker B: That'S where we got the credits and there's fire. She's like, if you want to know, I'll tell you why not. By this way, by the way, I'm just letting everybody know this is going to be a hard yeah, it's a. [00:27:58] Speaker A: Tough one to follow. Like, I mean, we can just. We don't. We might not have to go through everything, but we can just, like, kind of hit spots because it is. [00:28:06] Speaker B: We can hit some high points because it interweaves the story. [00:28:11] Speaker A: It's like a basket. [00:28:15] Speaker B: And it's kind of like. It's a cool layout because we get to find out how each of these characters meets Christopher chance for the first time, and then we get a little story about each of them, but they interweave the stories of. So now we get the fire story, and the fire story is with the Michael Janen art, and it looks so good. Fire was modeling in Madrid as she does, as she used to, and her camera man gets shot. And then I. Six months go by and. And no one has seen the rich kid from the rich part of town. Oh. So we flipped back stories. [00:29:01] Speaker A: It jumped stories again. And now you're. [00:29:04] Speaker B: And now we're to the brother blood story. Yeah. And then we flip and we get the booster gold story. And Booster's eating bagels. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Boosting bagels. Yeah. [00:29:18] Speaker B: As he does Booster's bagels, he's got a mouthful bagel, and he's babbling again. Now, is this booster or is this blue beetle? [00:29:29] Speaker A: It's booster. [00:29:31] Speaker B: I think it's booster because it's less coherent. It's like the same amount of words, but less coherent. That's how you can tell the difference between booster and Beetle. [00:29:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Beetle would talk and it's like a stream of consciousness, but it all makes sense. Booster talks stream of consciousness, but it goes in ten different directions. [00:29:53] Speaker B: But anyway, we find out that booster is going to save that JD. I mean, not JD Salinger, Don Salinger. [00:30:00] Speaker A: Guy, Don, Don Juan DeMarcus. [00:30:05] Speaker B: And then we flip the page again, and fire is headed with her camera person to the. Her cameraman to the hospital. He seems like he's bleeding out. It doesn't look real good. She's, like, holding his hand and he cusses and she's like, I'll never leave. I'll never. I'll be here for you. And he cusses at her. I don't think he wants her to do that. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:36] Speaker B: And then we flip the next page, and we see a giant green hand reaching into the refrigerator, presumably to grab a protein shake. [00:30:47] Speaker A: I think it's a protein shake, but we'll see on the next page. Maybe. [00:30:52] Speaker B: It'S a soda. [00:30:53] Speaker A: I don't think it's a soda either. [00:30:56] Speaker B: And he's annoyed by the brother blood kid. And throws his beer can at him. You know, those older tvs were tougher. I think if you hit an led like that. [00:31:05] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it would have problems like these older tvs. [00:31:09] Speaker B: But that old console tv bounces off of it. Yeah. We get to the next page and booster is being booster, and he saves the author again. And the author's like, thanks, you saved me. Hooray. And then we flipped the page and fires next to the camera person, the cameraman that got shot. And he presumably dies and she stays there with him. Then we get back to guy Gardner and he's about to take out the brother blood guy and he puts him in a noose because Guy Gardner's an asshole and we should all hate him. [00:31:57] Speaker A: It's messed up. [00:31:59] Speaker B: I hate him so much. I just. I think that Tom. I think Tom King wants me. [00:32:05] Speaker A: Tom King does not want you to like Guy Gardner. Anybody does not want anybody to like. [00:32:14] Speaker B: Then we get back to booster for three pages, and he's now at Don Saliger's house guarding him. [00:32:19] Speaker A: He's his bodyguard, man. [00:32:22] Speaker B: Yeah. He's gonna make sure he's okay. And then we get back to fire, and they're taking the body away. She doesn't know what happened. Well, she knows what happened, but she's sad. And then we get back to Guy Gardner and he's like, this has worked so well for him in the past, by the way. He takes the ring off and he gets in a fist fight with brother blood guy. Then we turn the page back to booster gold and we find out that the. That the author's gone in the car to try to start it and booster prevented that from happening. I guess the car was supposed to blow up. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Booster, he's like. He is like, he's doing all the right stuff, man. This is good stuff. [00:33:12] Speaker B: Yeah. The bad thing is he's actually being competent for once. Yeah, it's the whole weird thing. [00:33:20] Speaker A: Is it him or is it Skeets? Do you think Skeets is actually doing all the work? [00:33:26] Speaker B: Well, Skeets does most of the work in general, but it's possible. Yeah. Well, anyway, now we get to fire and she's sitting there contemplating her life and she sat in the morgue for three days. That's dedication, I guess. [00:33:42] Speaker A: She's eating a sandwich inside the morgue. [00:33:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, the mortuary guys have to eat, don't they? Like, what do you think Paul bear ate? [00:33:54] Speaker A: What? [00:33:56] Speaker B: Everything. He okay? Yeah. Didn't he lose weight? Like, he lost some weight at one point. I think, for those that don't know the reference, he was a. A particularly rotund man that prided himself in eating. So I'm not taking shots here. This is the way Mister Percy Pringle was. Yeah, that's his other name, by the way. Percy Pringle, before he was Paul Bearer, he was Paul Bearer. Paul Bearer, yeah. He was Percy Pringle. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Two good names. [00:34:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. There's fantastic names. Anyway, it looks like Fire's gonna stay with his body no matter what happens. Then we get to Gardner, and it looks like the brother blood guy is hitting him back, but he's like, the brother blood guy's like, you want to fight? He's like, am I happy? He's getting there? And then. [00:35:09] Speaker A: Dang. [00:35:10] Speaker B: And then he starts beating him up. And guy Gardner's like, do you know that I could, what I could do to you with this? No more of that fake shit. Your name. He said, I'm brother's blood. I have no. He keeps hitting him because he wants him to say his name. Okay? It's not like, what is this, a fight club? [00:35:32] Speaker A: It's fight. It's. It's. It is a guy Gardner fight club, and he doesn't realize he's fighting himself. Wouldn't that be just wild guy gardeners out there? [00:35:44] Speaker B: Might give some dimension to the character. [00:35:46] Speaker A: He goes out there, and he starts, he puts the ring back on. He's punching himself. The ring is like punching himself. And he's like, oh, I'll get you. I'll get you. And then he wakes up, and he's like, oh, shoot, I fought myself. Because he watches it back on replay because he's got cameras everywhere. And it's like, oh, my gosh. It was me all along. That'd be wild. [00:36:05] Speaker B: Well, we get to the next page, and booster saves the author some more. And finally, to the bottom of the panel, Don Salinger is like, who hired you? Why are you doing this? Why? [00:36:16] Speaker A: Why are you here? [00:36:20] Speaker B: Booster goal is like, why? Because I'm a good guy. [00:36:23] Speaker A: I love this. That picture. Like, he's got the star behind him. He's got everything. [00:36:28] Speaker B: It's like, I want that Kevin McGuire. [00:36:31] Speaker A: It's such a good picture, dude. [00:36:33] Speaker B: I'm a good guy. Friends, if you ever want to get me anything, get me this page of original Kevin McGuire. [00:36:39] Speaker A: Why? Because I'm a good guy. You're welcome. [00:36:48] Speaker B: Then we get back to fire, and she's standing in the graveyard, and a hand comes out of the ground. [00:36:54] Speaker A: She's like, what? Then? Now? [00:36:56] Speaker B: Good. We get to the next page, and. And there's guy. And finally the brother blood. Guy is like, I'm not the brother blood. I'm Christopher chance, the human target. [00:37:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:16] Speaker B: And Guy Gardner. Guy Gardener's like, what? Good job. Guy Gardner ruining Christopher Chance's cover. Then we get to the next page, and booster is still guarding Don Salinger. [00:37:28] Speaker A: I love that bottom panel. [00:37:30] Speaker B: And finally he sped up, and he's like, I'm not Don Salinger. I'm Christopher Chance, the human target. And then the photographer climbs out of the grave, and you're like, I'm not Sander. I'm the human target. In classic Justice League international fashion. [00:37:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:54] Speaker B: They screwed up in every way possible trying to do the right thing. [00:37:58] Speaker A: Trying to do the right thing. [00:37:59] Speaker B: I love this. I think I told you it's my least favorite of the stories, but I do love it as a callback story. Yeah. Just because they do call. Again, it's my least favorite. Cause I was wanting the other story to progress. Right? [00:38:15] Speaker A: You wanted that next issue. [00:38:16] Speaker B: This is a bad story. [00:38:17] Speaker A: And you got this, and you're like, ugh, I don't want this. Why do we have this? [00:38:22] Speaker B: No, I want. Yeah, now, it was cool to kind of. Okay. Where I'll say it was cool. And I know we need to get to the end, but I do think it's neat to tie him to these other characters so you can establish the history. This story, you didn't need. What? This. This story does not need to exist except for one page of the story, and we'll discuss that. [00:38:43] Speaker A: It does need to exist. You need to know. [00:38:46] Speaker B: It does not. There's only one page of the story that needed to exist. [00:38:49] Speaker A: I disagree. I'm wrong. [00:38:53] Speaker B: That makes it easy. [00:38:54] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. No. Tell me why. [00:38:56] Speaker B: Anyway. [00:38:57] Speaker A: Tell me why. [00:38:59] Speaker B: I can't tell you why right now. [00:39:02] Speaker A: Okay, okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. No. I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Don't ruin no now. Like, now tell you. No, no, no, no. [00:39:13] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:13] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:39:14] Speaker B: Anyway, guy Gardner leaves laughing. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Christopher Chance is like, hey, let's work together. And Guy Gardner's like, no, I work alone. He's like, I don't want to work with you. You're fake. [00:39:31] Speaker B: He works alone. Cause he wants to be by himself. [00:39:34] Speaker A: He's like, you're the worst kind. [00:39:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Phony, he is. Geiger. [00:39:39] Speaker A: No, no. I mean, it is. The ironic thing is he's telling Christopher Chansey is a phony and a fake and the worst kind of guy, and he's the worst kind of guy. Because he's the phony and a fake. [00:39:54] Speaker B: Yeah. And then we get to the next page, and we've got a booster where booster actually works with Christopher Chance. He lets him get shot. The author, Salinger, wanted to go off and have a life of his own. The JD Salinger reference. I think you get a JD Salinger reference also, like. No. What? Why am I blanking? Who's the guy that wrote the satanic verses? [00:40:18] Speaker A: JD Salinger. Oh, no. The satanic verses. Like, the actual. Like, the. The Book of the devil. The Book of the devil. [00:40:26] Speaker B: The book. Oh, no. How do you. I can't even talk to you right now. Like, how do you not know this? What? [00:40:33] Speaker A: That he faked his own death and went off to go live in the woods? [00:40:36] Speaker B: No. Okay. I'm just changing. No, I'm not. No. [00:40:40] Speaker A: What? [00:40:41] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Okay, so we're flipping. [00:40:43] Speaker A: You don't want to finish your thing? [00:40:44] Speaker B: Like. Yeah, I don't. Because I asked you who an author was. Cause I'm drawing a blank. And you're, like, talking about something completely different. I don't know what you're talking about right now. [00:40:55] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [00:40:56] Speaker B: You know, Solomon Rushdie. [00:40:57] Speaker A: Oh, Solomon Rushdie. [00:40:58] Speaker B: Yeah, Solomon Rushdie. Solomon. I gotta say it, right? Otherwise it becomes Solomon Grundy Rushdie. [00:41:06] Speaker A: So Solomon Grundy wanted to go live and live alone. [00:41:10] Speaker B: Oh, God. Okay, next page. So then we get. We get to fire, and she's just having a conversation with Christopher chance, and she's, like, apologizing, and we find out they became friends. And then we get back to the story. So, like, there's ice. Hold up. Ice is here. [00:41:29] Speaker A: That's nice. [00:41:30] Speaker B: It's ice. [00:41:31] Speaker A: Or is it? Is it nice? [00:41:33] Speaker B: Is it nice? I don't know. She has a friendly. An angry face, a semi, like, shrewd face, a happy face, or a drinking face. [00:41:42] Speaker A: And I look like I'm gonna call for the manager face. [00:41:53] Speaker B: Yep. And we do get a line here, so toward the bottom. And it looks like chances. Somebody is talking to her. We don't know who, right? [00:42:06] Speaker A: Yeah, we don't know who. [00:42:08] Speaker B: And that person says, so you asked to know. So that's what happened. That's me and the human target. My only time running into that shit. You want my opinion? The man fakes it because he's a fake. There's nothing to him. You could flick him. He'd fall over. [00:42:26] Speaker A: It does seem like a guy. Gardener. [00:42:28] Speaker B: That first one. Okay. The second one starts out. So what does that tell you about the man I think it says a lot. He's the type who's willing to die for someone. [00:42:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:41] Speaker B: That's gotta be skeets and booster. Skeets and booster talking. Okay. And Skeets is like, that's literally his job. Okay. And then the last one. So that's gotta leave it with fire, right? It's gotta be the last one. That's why she's having a drink with her friend. He said, that's a story. I don't know what to tell you. He was stubborn and cynical and absurd and strong and funny and kind. I hope that helps. When you talk to him tomorrow about all this, about Lex, I hope that gives you what you need, a touch of edge. Or at least you'll know what to watch out for. Because if you're going to stay two steps ahead of Christopher chance, that means you're the target now. And she says, am I? Ice does. Well, now that I know chance a bit, I guess it sounds like fun. [00:43:33] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:43:34] Speaker B: Yep. And then we turn the page and it's sad. [00:43:40] Speaker A: Yeah. That is. [00:43:50] Speaker B: And we turn the page and it was a tribute to Tim sale. And now both Greg and I are like, greg's looking really sad. I'm looking not as sad. Greg can't even talk. He's looking so sad. And you get to the next, like. [00:44:03] Speaker A: To the next page, that page, the art. And then you get to the next page where everyone's talking about him. And it's just like, it's a lot of tribute and stuff like that. It's like, dang, you know. [00:44:20] Speaker B: And we, like, we ran through this issue, I guess it was easier to talk about than I thought it was because of the way it's interwoven. [00:44:27] Speaker A: But it's a, it was easier to talk about and break out each thing, you know, as interwoven. But I think trying to, you know, if you're trying to smash this and another, another issue, it'd be a lot because it's, it is a hefty issue, even though it's such a small bits. But it's, you know, that's the fun part when you're dealing with the book like this. [00:45:03] Speaker B: Well, we had some, we had some fun guest artists. Yeah. [00:45:06] Speaker A: No. A lot of different, different styles thrown in there and made you go, whoa, whoa. So. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Makes you go, hmm. [00:45:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a favorite story, Dan? [00:45:19] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, uh, I mean, my favorite arts on the booster story, my favorite story is probably. I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I have a favorite cause they were all like, they're interwoven on purpose. I think the booster one's probably my favorite story, too. I mean, it's kitsch. It matches the character. The fire one's a little bit of a stretch, right? Like, I don't remember that being in her character from the past at all. So I feel like we're building that just for the story. I don't remember, you know, I mean it could exist somewhere, but I just don't remember reading anything with fire in it that indicated she would take those actions. The guy Gardner story, I mean, it's a guy Gardner story. I don't like the character and he acts like Guy Gardner, so I don't like it. I mean, it is what it is. So the booster story is, at least from a continuity standpoint, probably my favorite. I do enjoy the fire story and the guy Gardner story. I believe he would do those things. It's very character consistent and we're building something in the main book, so that makes sense. But, you know, as a standalone story, the more I have to read about Guy Gardner, the less I'm happy. So. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Fair. [00:46:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I just, I mean, again, guy Gardner beating somebody up, like, how many times can you read about it and still stay excited about it? [00:46:42] Speaker A: Understandable, I think. I, I like that they, they give them, they give both Guy and Christopher that story where there is that meeting and the ground is set where they're, they don't, they don't get along already. So when they're thrown into stuff later on, it's already like they've both got a bit of an edge against each other, you know, so they're both carrying a little weight on their shoulders, but you also see where, but I mean, you could go into a story where they never met each other and you'd still have that, that type of shoulder. [00:47:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:23] Speaker A: Rolling machismo. But with, at least with guy and chance to be like, whatever, dude. The booster story just is hilarious because it's, it is, it is very booster for him to be like, I'm, I am doing my, I'm doing the thing and everything he's doing is completely wrong, even though it's right. Like the one time he does everything right, it's wrong. That's what I love about it. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Yep. So, yep, that's, I mean, yep. And that's, it's, it's, it's very character consistent and it was fun to read and it was fun to see the McGuire art. And don't get me wrong, the Janin and the Albuquerque art were fantastic, too. I mean, it's just. It's all good in there. Like, it's an interlude again. I would call it a cash grab, but it came in the middle of the book, so it's probably not. [00:48:18] Speaker A: It's a cash grab. They were grabbing for all the. [00:48:21] Speaker B: Well, no, it's not like it's. [00:48:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I get, you know, it's not. [00:48:24] Speaker B: Like they put tales of the human target out after the rest of the series was out, right, and said, go back. [00:48:28] Speaker A: We're gonna give you nothing but tales of human target, where now you've got all these stories. You need to go read all these things to find out how. How the human target dealt with these things and people, other superheroes dealt with the human target. I'd read the shit out of that. [00:48:44] Speaker B: But I like. I mean, I liked it. Um, again, I liked it. I think, you know, my reservation is not even that it was necessarily a bad story. I just. I don't. I don't like interrupting the flow of the other story. So, I mean, that's. That's what happens, right? Like, we end up interrupting the flow and then. So, you know. But it's cool. Uh, fun story, uh, short one. This is gonna be a short episode for us, so don't get used to this. [00:49:13] Speaker A: It's a normal sized episode. Not quite a fun size. Just normally for most people. For most people, not a marathon episode. [00:49:22] Speaker B: For us, it's like a fun size episode. But, boy, I've advertised two things already. Jujitsu lawyer. Paul, we talked about Jason's podcast. Yeah, that would be. What was that again? [00:49:37] Speaker A: What? [00:49:38] Speaker B: Huh? What's the name of Jason's podcast again? You should. [00:49:41] Speaker A: You shouldn't. Cartoons, breakfast cereal and. [00:49:48] Speaker B: Saturday morning, triple cell. Saturday morning, triple cartoons, comics and cereal. [00:49:52] Speaker A: Cartoons, comics and cartoons, comics and cereal. [00:49:56] Speaker B: Where did breakfast come in? There's no. There's no b in triple c, but there could be. There's no b in triple c. Put. [00:50:03] Speaker A: A b in triple circumental. [00:50:07] Speaker B: I'll be here. See you. Oh, yeah. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yep. [00:50:16] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:50:16] Speaker B: Yep. The. I guess we should advertise the retro emporium in Kent, Washington, where you can re live your childhood on Meeker stream. Should probably mention a book with fantastic art by Gabriel Gomez and tabloids. [00:50:34] Speaker A: Zeros written by two absolute zeroes. I don't even know how those guys are gonna get to camp. Launch pad. But Michael Tan, I don't know. [00:50:42] Speaker B: But how did you get such an amazing artist to draw? [00:50:45] Speaker A: Because our editorial and publishing team is amazing. And they paired us up with an awesome artist who's fantastic and great. I know, right? It's not who you are, it's who you know, so. Yeah. [00:51:01] Speaker B: Well, that's good to know. And then on top of that, I think, yeah, that's probably it. Right? Is what we're advertising right now. Yeah. So come back next time, and we'll talk about human target number seven and maybe number eight. [00:51:20] Speaker A: I better finish reading. [00:51:23] Speaker B: Well, yeah, you should probably have read those a long time ago. Like, I'm trying to figure out I'm witnessing. [00:51:30] Speaker A: No, I'm not. [00:51:33] Speaker B: I know you're not joking because you don't know which page was important in the book, because if you had read it, you would have gone, oh, well, yeah, well, but you don't know it when you read it the first time through because, I mean, you had to. [00:51:47] Speaker A: Reread a thing, and then you're like. [00:51:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I was like, oh, that's why it's right there. Oh, they told me. They told me this. Ah, they shared it with. Oh, they gave it away. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Yeah, but I didn't see it. It makes sense you didn't see it, folks, until it was too late. [00:52:07] Speaker B: I didn't see it. It was too late. Yeah. [00:52:12] Speaker A: And then it was right there. [00:52:14] Speaker B: I'm done. Yeah, we're gonna be done now. Cause we're just trying to sing bad songs and yang at each other, so. So this is Dan. That's Greg. This was another fantastic episode of Funny Book. Forensics read the human target. Don't rely on us reading it to you. Like, this is a amazing story and deserves to be spread around everywhere. Bye bye. [00:52:38] Speaker A: Oh, no. The button is hiding under the tab.