Episode Transcript
[00:00:05] Speaker A: Well, Greg and I are in our PJs tonight.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Yay, peach. Don't tell them what time it is. It's 2 o' clock in the morning.
[00:00:12] Speaker A: It's not 2 o' clock in the morning, but this is an episode of Funny Book Forensics. After dark we don't do too many of these.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Oddly though, it's still light outside.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's, it's almost not light. I mean, in the Northwest, in the summer after, it can be light after 9 o'. Clock.
It's not quite land of the midnight sun, but we're almost there.
Yeah, for people that don't know we are. The, the Northwest is the highest north in the contiguous 48 states.
That's not what we're talking about today though.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: Oh, that's true. We're not.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: No, we, we kind of.
We, we both sort of like this author named Brian K. Vaughn just a little bit because he writes good things and then like why the Last man, for example.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: What?
[00:01:02] Speaker A: And Greg knows Pia Guerrero.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: I mean.
Yes,
[00:01:12] Speaker A: you always say it like that too. You're like, oh yeah, I know this person.
You still haven't, you still haven't gathered around the fact that you know this person. Right?
[00:01:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Fantastic artist.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: I know. It's. Well, it's, it's one of those things where I think like at some point you.
I think honestly, like when I started doing comic stuff professionally, I had those fanboy moments and then all of a sudden I realized how cringy I was. So I just kind of. Okay, we're just, just people hanging out and then it's like with, with other folks, you know, it's just like, okay. And people are like, wait, you know that person? Well, yeah, just I, I just, I.
Yeah.
[00:02:01] Speaker A: And unfortunately. And unfortunately now why the Last Man? If you hunt for it, you don't get the first search option is not the wonderful comic book that it was, but the first option is the God awful fucking television rendering. It got
[00:02:19] Speaker B: TV shows it.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Well, sometimes they do good with independent
[00:02:24] Speaker B: TV and, and sometimes doesn't really do that. It's a different medium, Dan. It's a different medium. They did the best.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Well, I don't just think. I think a lot of people think they.
The, you know the two big indie books of the aughts.
Right. Were why the Last man and DMZ for dc. Yeah, not indie books, but the two big, the two big Vertigo books. Right, right. Were.
And the TV treatment of both was. Was God awful.
[00:02:57] Speaker B: Not what I think the, it's like
[00:02:59] Speaker A: they didn't read the comics.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Devout readers of the books themselves were hoping to get.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: When they got it, DMZ was just quite frankly, unwatchable.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: I was gonna say I couldn't. I could not watch more than two episodes.
That was.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: Yeah. If you. You tell me Rosario Dawson is going to star in the dmv.
Dmz.
I said dmv. Dmz. I'm trying.
[00:03:27] Speaker B: That's a great show.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: It is After Dark. I'm messing up. I'm being normal, Dan. Messing up. Demilitarized Zone. Dmz.
And you tell me Rosario Dawson is going to star in it. And I'm instantly thinking she's the make. Gonna be the main character in the comic.
Right?
[00:03:43] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Because it makes sense that way. And I'm expecting a first episode where a reporter helicopters into an area and is stuck. And then you go the story from there.
And what did I get? Tunnels and random and none of the characters.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it was all there on the page. It was very. It was. It was right there. I've. I've seen a couple of really good lifts out of books to. To make a great movie or show. And then I've seen that and I. And again, I.
Yeah. You say Rosario. Rosario Dawson's going to be in something. I'm there for it, just not dmz.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: And. And unfortunately, the why the Last man series is even less.
Less memorable than that.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: And you had so many. So much good material to draw from.
[00:04:37] Speaker B: So true.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: It's just literally. How could you go wrong with. From this, like, literally just script, you know, the way that Vaughn writes.
Just lift the panels.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: Lift the panels, do it justice.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Make the thing especially for why the Last Man. Like, the premise is not something that needs a fancy shooter.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: Yeah. You don't have to.
You don't have to go for more than what it is because it already is pretty much everything you need.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Right. With dmz, you had to set up, you know, a city and a war zone and these different things. But for why the Last man, you can just use what's here.
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: You just have to tell all the other men to go home.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Right.
Just. There you go. I. I will say. I mean, if we're going to talk about, like, I mean, just to. Just to touchstone, like, DMZ was definitely something that when I, When I picked it up and read was.
And I think you can. If you, if you look at Junior Braves, the, The, the style that Zach went with, and it was one of those conversations that, that we had. You Know, it's. It's not exact, but it's. It's. It's like close in that kind of feel.
And with kids doing this, they're doing the basic thing that you do, but in extraordinary ways. Just like a reporter doing reporting in extraordinary situations.
[00:06:14] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: And I. I just like. I. Reading the book, I was just like, oh, my gosh, so great.
Like.
[00:06:22] Speaker A: And both. You know, DMZ runs 72 issues from 2006 to 2012. Why the last man runs 60 issues from 2002 to 2008.
They really were the Vertigo books of the odds.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:36] Speaker A: And they have failed to massively failed to capitalize on their success.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: I. It was one of the. It was one of the books, like, for dmz. It was one of the books that I.
I would go to my. My local comic shop in Vancouver when I lived there and buy the book. And then when I moved, I continue. I was like, this is what I need. When I got to the area I'm in and. And started shopping at. At what was Spy became Fantasium and is now Midgard. But I was like, I need this.
Please bring it in. I have to keep reading it.
Yes. They're like, okay, sure.
Well.
[00:07:23] Speaker A: And I think for me, why the Last Man? I think, if I remember correctly, I don't have all. I only have 44 of them, which is unfortunate because I didn't start getting them till later. I have the graphics for the earlier.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:39] Speaker A: I don't have it until 18 forward, unfortunately.
Actually, I'm missing a couple of those too. I'm missing, like, 2016, 17. I had to go.
But, yeah, it was unfortunate because I missed the start of those dmz. I did not miss the start of.
[00:07:55] Speaker B: You were like, right there.
[00:07:57] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. Well, and. And part of the reason I didn't miss the start of DMZ was because of.
Of why the Last Man.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: You're like, okay, I gotta read.
[00:08:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, the Vertigo books are back. Like, I've got to pay attention to this. Right. And in. You know, is appealing.
And, you know, Brian K. Vaughan brought me back into looking at other books, especially as a DC person. Right. Looking at. Give me.
He is not an indie creator by any means, but looking at, you know, books by other creators that DC was bringing in at the time. Yeah.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: And it was. It's something.
[00:08:36] Speaker A: And other art styles, you know.
[00:08:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Different than what you're used to reading because it's not your. It's not. Dan. Typical reading, Greg. Yeah. I mean, it fits it fits into the thing that I Stuff that I
[00:08:49] Speaker A: read, but it's not capes and tights.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: It's not capes and tights. Yeah. So it's. It's not your typical. Your typical thing, but the stories just brought you into the world and just kept you going so.
Well.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: And I really do think I. I mean, obviously. So we've mentioned Karen Berger before, but still. Still the editor for the Vertigo line at that point, so bringing in. Still continuing to bring in great stories.
And, you know, for those that don't know Karen Berger, we've mentioned her before because she started. She cut her teeth working with Paul Levitz and Keith Giffen on Legion of Superheroes as the editor when it was the number two selling book at dc.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah. So.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: And then, you know, obviously. But more famously launches the Vertigo line, helps bring in all those British creators, and then, you know, obviously continues the line. And it's unfortunate that some folks at DC that were.
Some folks at DC that were undesirable people, you know, helped kind of eliminate that tenure there, and she chose to move on.
[00:10:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: But still doing awesome work.
Still doing awesome work, though. Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's still doing awesome work. Yeah. And, you know, I think I even have. I think I have one of those, like, what they call them new talent showcase or something.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: For DC from the 80s where she wrote something in there.
Yeah, it's. But anyway, we haven't even talked about Saga yet, And now we're 10 minutes in, in classic fashion. But we're setting you up just because both of us reading.
I kind of thought, like, personally, I thought the 2000s was sort of a Renaissance time for D.C. too.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:10:42] Speaker A: You know, that you had the end of. Because in the end of the 90s stuff you had, you know, they brought back some people in. Right. They get Grant Morrison to come in, and so, you know, they get Grant Morrison on jla, which gives it a revival. Right.
And, you know, they really start to bring in creators that they. They really start to bring. They bring in Jeff Johns, too. Right.
And of course, Geoff Johns has the contacts with the TV industry. So you get, you know, you start moving into Arrowverse, things like that, and, you know, a lot of this.
But, you know, I really thought the 2000s comics for DC, a lot of them are just incredibly well written, though they maybe didn't get as much. They got a lot of critical success. Now they're. Now their comics are finally outselling Marvel. But, I mean, I, you know, there was just a. I Thought they just had a run of really good comics. I mean, we. You know, one of our very first podcasts was about the one where they. Where Ted Kord dies.
[00:11:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: And, you know, just finding writers that could take characters and just really writing them. Of course, Ted Kordis magically come back to life. What I know is one of the sad things about comics sometimes. I mean, that was such a definitive story and so well written.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: I mean, as much as I love the character grounded, the character had stayed dead. Yeah. Because the. It was so well written and, you know, it was a redemption story where he couldn't just quite be redeemed. And then you had, you know, all the rest of the heroes there to redeem him. Right. And, yeah, that's.
That's the kind of, you know, it's just. It's good storytelling, and we're gonna get some really good storytelling here.
[00:12:29] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. We get some such good storytelling.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: I mean, and Fiona Staples.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: Art is fire, as the kids would say today.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: Fire.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: Dan. It is fire.
Legit fire. This.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: It's done in the. It's just done in this.
It's. It's such a. It's. I guess it's a. What do we call it?
It's. I don't know what kind of. I don't know what to call it. It's like a soft and hard style at the same time.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: Yeah, it. It's beautiful. It is. It is ridiculous. Ridiculously beautiful. The.
The way that Fiona draws these.
These characters and. And. And. And just brings life to the pages is just ridiculous.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: 1. Before we start to shout out to Ashlyn for giving me these books and giving me their books and getting me to reminding me. And of course, Greg and I had bought these in a humble bundle. So we had them. We had a bunch of Image books, and we bought them for the podcast to do. So we didn't always do capes and tights, and here we are.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: I mean, and then, I mean, if you're going to do a shout out to someone who got you into it, I had to shout out all the ladies that. That worked at Fantasium when it was Fantasium. Paula.
Racial Misha.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: I think Rachel and I talked about.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: Yeah, no, yeah, I think you and Rachel did. I know when I walked in there one day, I. It was, like, quiet, and they were all reading, and I was like, what are you reading?
And they're like, saga. You have to just buy it. Just buy it.
And so I picked it up, but I was like, oh, Brian came On, sure. Yeah. No, you don't have to sell me on this, but just the fact that I walked into the shop and it was quiet.
Everyone was just reading.
[00:14:32] Speaker A: Yeah. And good news too, when you look at this. It's good news when you look at this too.
I actually was looking and Image has the first issue available for free. Oh.
So you can, I'll link it in the podcast notes. But you can if you want to read along or you want to see what we're talking about. So then you can go buy the graphic novels or go find the floppy somewhere. Yeah, yeah, like go.
It's, it's, it's. Well, anyway, we're talking about how great it is. We're going to cover issue one today. We may in the future cover a couple issues at a time because the book flows so well and it's just an easy read. We may run out of time doing that too.
So it just depends on how well we go. But this one, we're gonna at least cover the first.
Is it 8ish issues?
[00:15:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, but it's, I think like in this first volume, it's eight issues and each issue is roughly about 40 pages or so.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: I don't know how many pages they are because there are no page numbers.
[00:15:41] Speaker B: I know. Well, that's because.
[00:15:44] Speaker A: To find where you're at because as
[00:15:47] Speaker B: I always say, great comics come without
[00:15:49] Speaker A: pages, Dan, and it's not true.
Yeah, I, I, it will forever annoy me that you publish anything without page numbers. I'm sorry. This is my first cussing of the podcast. The only thing I don't like about this book, because when I'm reading something, I want to share with people where its stuff is at.
[00:16:11] Speaker B: I understand that, Dan, but you can, you can look at, it's a book.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: Look at pages.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: Look at, look at my, my current record. My, my two books with publishers.
Half page numbers don't do too great. My book with under a friend built comic book imprint has no page numbers and is what people come find me for at shows.
[00:16:40] Speaker A: Junior people come find you for junior Braves.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: I know they do, but I'm just saying, like the, the reality though is I've had more people come for Starlight, which has no page numbers.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Is the more recent book.
[00:16:52] Speaker B: It's not the more recent book.
Absolute Zeros is much more recent than Starlight.
[00:16:57] Speaker A: Oh, I meant well, okay. Yeah, but you didn't go to any comic shows for Absolute Zeros.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: I tried.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: So how would you know?
[00:17:06] Speaker B: I, I, I did, I did go to some comic shows. You just Happened to not be there and untrue there. Very true.
[00:17:14] Speaker A: You attend without me. So the.
All right, well, we are starting with volume one of Saga. We're going to start with book one and book one.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Chapter one.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: Chapter one.
[00:17:28] Speaker B: Chapter one. Which is book one. Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: And we have a.
On page one, we have a narrator already says, this is how an idea becomes real.
And.
And we have a woman that looks not happy. Sweating.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Saying, am I shitting? It feels like I'm shitting. And we rapidly churn and find out. We have woman giving birth on the next page.
And the narrator says, but ideas are fragile things, and most don't live long outside of the ether from which they were pulled kicking and screaming.
And. How apropos.
[00:18:14] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: And we've got two characters. We've got a. The mother giving birth has wings.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: Wings, you say?
[00:18:24] Speaker A: I do. And the.
Presumably the father. We don't know yet. Yeah, presumably the father has these horns.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: Assuming so much, Dan. He has horns?
[00:18:36] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like ram horns.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Like, you could go there and get a hamburger and a beer.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: Dang.
And sweet potato fries. It tastes so good. Sweet potato fries.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: Tater tots.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: Or tater tots. Well.
And why are we promoting a local restaurant? Change. That does nothing to help us.
[00:18:57] Speaker B: I know that's true. Because. Because we've. We've occasionally gone there a few times, and we enjoy their food when they actually serve us.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Almost all of the times.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: Except for the one time.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: Yeah, except for the one time.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Except for the one time, which was
[00:19:12] Speaker A: an anomaly, we've decided.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: Which is funny, because we went to someplace else that you were like, oh, this is much. This is.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: This is.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: This is great. And the next time. They messed up my order three times,
[00:19:24] Speaker A: so.
Well, they are not. I would say she's not happy to be giving birth, though. I would assume that while it's a happy time, that most people are not happy while they're doing it, though I have no experience in this matter, so I also.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: All I know is I have secondhand knowledge of people in their birthing. And I can just say afterwards, there's so much. They're very happy, usually.
[00:19:55] Speaker A: But the. The. The. The horned gentleman says, you've never been as beautiful as you are right now.
And that does not help the situation.
[00:20:10] Speaker B: He's trying so hard.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: But we do find out they're in the back of a body shop for some reason.
And the narrator continues, that's why people create with someone else.
Two minds can sometimes improve the odds of an idea's survival.
But there are no guarantees.
And then mom pops up and looks at. And we find out, or we find out on this page that the winged woman's name is Alana.
And the. The.
The gentleman with the ram horns is named Marco.
And Alana pops up as she's finished giving birth. And she looks at Marco and says, you never cry. What's wrong? What is it?
And he's holding little baby.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: Yes.
Very realistic.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: And then we find out and says, it's a girl. And we find out the narrator is the baby.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness.
[00:21:16] Speaker A: As the narrator says, anyway, we went for a ride.
And so mom, Alana gets the baby. Looks like the baby has little horns.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: Little horns.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: And I haven't seen little wings yet, but I'm assuming that we will.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: I. We'll see.
And
[00:21:43] Speaker A: they say she's perfect. Look, she's going to have your horns and your wings.
But what's up with those eyes?
So we have.
They're excited.
They're doing the normal baby things, like getting rid of the umbilical cord and taking care of things and trying to figure out a name.
[00:22:11] Speaker B: That's important stuff. All the important stuff when you have a new baby.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: But we do find out a couple of important facts. Marco has made a vow.
He says, I'm a father now, not a soldier. And that blade is never again leaving the scabbard. So he's not using it even to cut the umbilical cord board. Yeah.
[00:22:28] Speaker B: And.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: And, yeah. And so we get a couple things. And Alana calls the baby Pico.
And that leads Marco to be like, I thought we were calling. What happened to calling her Beatric in there? And Alana's like, beatrice isn't like a real name. Come on.
Actually, she says, that looks like a name for a good girl. And she says, does this look like a good girl to you?
Speaking of which.
[00:23:00] Speaker B: Yes?
[00:23:00] Speaker A: I have a new friend today.
[00:23:02] Speaker B: You do?
[00:23:03] Speaker A: Who? Juliet is upstairs asleep somewhere.
[00:23:05] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:23:06] Speaker A: And I have the maligator next to me today.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: Wow. The maligator has come to the show.
[00:23:12] Speaker A: Mercy. The maligator is passed out next to me after playing all day long.
If you've ever seen a Belgian Malinois pass out, when they do go to sleep, they are done because they have now brought you a toy over and over again. They brought you a ball over and over again. They brought you a Frisbee over and over again. They played with the other dogs. They've run around. They've patrolled. And once all that is finally when they wear out, which is a A quite the, quite the process. But when they wear out, they are done worn out.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: I've honestly never seen Mercy asleep. I've only seen active awake alert. Let's go. And also let me scare the crap out of you, Greg, because my face looks like it's gonna bite you.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: Yes. Well, you saw the picture I sent you.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: Of Sleepy leaving Mercy.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: Yes, I.
Mercy is a good dog. Don't listeners. I mean like, yes, maligators are scary, but they're, they're scary for a reason.
They're dogs.
[00:24:18] Speaker A: Well, and I brought up Mercy the maligator because. Good girl, but not so good girl. And relates to our story here.
And they mention doing a wing bleeding. And Marco is like, no way, we're not doing that.
You said when we settled into this there's no politics. And she's like, that's cultural.
He's like, mutilating infants is not cultural.
And then she's like, are we really having this fight right now? And she says because that's how we ended up making this one.
And then we hear a bang.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Oh no.
[00:24:55] Speaker A: And it is interesting.
They are yelling for Private First Class Alana, yelling that she's under arrest. And she's like, oh my gosh, we're dead, we're dead, we're dead.
We get some folks outside. We get. This is Baron Robot 23 of the Coalition forces.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:21] Speaker A: I don't know who the coalition forces
[00:25:23] Speaker B: are, but probably the people behind him.
[00:25:25] Speaker A: We get a bunch of times. With wings. Yes, behind him.
So apparently the winged folks, I assume they're related to Alana. Yeah, yeah.
In some way. Well, and then there's a little monkey guy.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, it's almost like the wizard of Oz. Dan.
[00:25:47] Speaker A: Yes. You had the little monkey, but the monkey guy doesn't have wings.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: He does not have wings.
[00:25:52] Speaker A: I believe he is the body shop owner, if I remember correctly.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: Yeah, he, he, he, he's got his coveralls on. He looks like he's going to start singing Uptown Girl and have a limousine pull up.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: Yeah, that makes me, that makes me Sad. The.
My 15 year old fake nephew.
[00:26:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: That be the son of my very close friends that I've known for 30 years but is, you know, 15 now. And we used to watch that when he was like three and he loved that video.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: And now he's like, whatever.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: I don't know if he'd like, he'd probably still like it. I don't know. I have to show it to him or he'd be. Or he'll do what he does with me because we used to sit and watch Young justice together, too. And he doesn't even remember.
So he'll just say, oh, I don't remember that. And I'm like, yeah, I do.
You were little and it was fun.
But anyway, time, kid.
Ruining my cute times by not remembering.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: And then, anyway,
[00:27:03] Speaker A: so they have to. They're gonna have to buy some time to get out of there. There's a roof up there.
And he's like, go up there. And she's like, you know. You know, my wings are worthless. I couldn't fly kite, much less all this baby weight.
And Marco's like, you can do this. I know you can. And they're like, she needs a name. I don't want my child to die without a name. Then an explosion. And here comes Baron, Robot 23.
[00:27:35] Speaker B: Man, looking all suave and shit.
[00:27:39] Speaker A: And he's got, like, a kind of. He's got, like a cyborg hand. Like, as in cyborg the character. Not cyborgs from the future. Comic book that's coming out advertised on Kickstarter. That's known as robot number 23. A cyborg story.
So you can go ahead, Alex. Frame story.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: It begins.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, there you go. You added to the title. I was good.
You actually got some pertinent parts and relevant parts of the title in there just so they would know.
[00:28:10] Speaker B: Actually, it continues. I'm sorry. It begins. It's not what's happening. It doesn't begin. It continues.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Oh, well, we'll. We'll get a link up there for you. When that launches, you can just press a button.
[00:28:21] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: Follow it. And then when it launches, you'll know. It'll be fun. It's all about cyborgs and stuff.
[00:28:27] Speaker B: Yeah, cyborgs and stuff.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: This is not about cyborgs, though.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: This is about cyborgs.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: What do you think this guy that we're reading right now has a robot? Baron. Not a cyborg.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: Oh, he's a robot.
Robot boy. He's a robo boy.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: You're in robot number 23.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: You're right.
[00:28:43] Speaker A: Did you not read the book?
[00:28:45] Speaker B: He's got a TV for a head and a blaster for a hand.
He looks like the kind of guy.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: How do you know? It's a viewing screen, I think, you
[00:28:53] Speaker B: know, he looks like he knows how to party. Look at that outfit he's got on.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: You know, the dialogue, Jacksonville is quite creative because he says, drop whatever you're holding and put your hands in the air. And Alana says, suck my hemorrhoids. Which I guess after birth I heard that's a thing. So.
[00:29:09] Speaker B: It is a thing I hear as well.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: I'm not experiencing that at all. Nor I haven't. I haven't even looked down there. So I. I don't know. But other people may know.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know.
[00:29:24] Speaker A: It's the.
Well, you. Anyway, you'd have more relevant experience.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: I would, but to babies or to hemorrhoids?
[00:29:33] Speaker A: No, to like, women.
But the.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: I just was like, I know where you're going, Dan. This is a weird train track.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: It kind of goes all over a train track, but it's not a train.
[00:29:52] Speaker B: It's a roller coaster.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: And they're ready to like, take them out. And Alana's like, trying to defend them. Hey, you can't do this to us on civilian territory. It's not a sanctioned battlefield field.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: She knows her stuff.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: And Robot Baron number 23 is like, we are a duly licensed military police officers on an approval on approved law enforcement mission. Now step away from the prisoner and.
Sounds like now.
[00:30:21] Speaker B: It does sound like now.
[00:30:23] Speaker A: And then he gets interrupted. Your Excellency, Demeter's picking up.
Not Demeter. Demeter. Not Demeter. I don't want to be confused with
[00:30:34] Speaker B: like Demeter the person.
Dimitri Demeter.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: Picking up exotic matter. We've got magic incoming. They say magic.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: The Gathering.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: No, it's definitely not. It's a bunch of dudes with horns and they say Marco's name, but I don't know what the rest of it.
[00:30:57] Speaker B: It's magic words.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Yeah, magic words. It's probably like Latin or something, and I just don't know because I'm not smart enough.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: It's. Oh, yeah, yeah, He's. He's. He's casting a laugh.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: We probably could translate that. And that cover Brian Vaughn has Google Translate.
[00:31:15] Speaker B: And then it tells you something that's not true.
Yeah, I mean, I. I find it funny that the. The. Our robot buddy is going after the. The. The monkey.
Monkey Joel.
[00:31:30] Speaker A: It says it's Italian, so I assume that has probably Latin. Yeah, High soldier Mar is what translates it to.
And he responds with some different language cuz he doesn't look happy.
He says the guy's name, which is apparently how to.
[00:31:54] Speaker B: Oh, And casting a spell.
[00:32:02] Speaker A: Oh, he. It's. It's. It's detecting English now, which I don't think that is.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:10] Speaker A: It doesn't translate. It doesn't translate anymore.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: What about the rest of the stuff he says?
[00:32:16] Speaker A: I don't know. This. This part's not translating.
[00:32:18] Speaker B: It's not translatable, folks.
[00:32:21] Speaker A: Do you think it's Latin?
[00:32:23] Speaker B: I don't know.
If only.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: I don't think. Well, I put it to Serbian Latin here, and it says, I'm going to give you a shower. So I don't think he's going to
[00:32:35] Speaker B: give him a shower.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: I don't think that's right. I'm going to quit trying to translate now.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: Maybe. Maybe that's just a nice thing to do when greeting friends. It's like, I'm going to give you a shower.
I mean, you need a. You need a shower. What happens?
[00:32:48] Speaker A: Maybe something. You need a shower. Yeah.
Oh, it says, I warn you. Here we go. And now it says, spanish detected. And it says, I warn you. Don't touch me.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:33:00] Speaker A: That seems more accurate.
[00:33:02] Speaker B: More accurate.
[00:33:07] Speaker A: And they find out what? Find out. This is his family.
They're here.
And they look like they're going to be. It looks like Marco and Alana are done. They're in the middle of a giant battle.
[00:33:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:24] Speaker A: And Robot Baron number 23 is asking for emergency clearance to engage wreath contingent.
[00:33:33] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: And they all start firing. We've got magic swords and guns and lots of dying.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:33:42] Speaker A: Lots of dying.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Everyone's getting shot up. Cut.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: Robot parents. TV screen goes off his head. It's off the. Everybody dies. Literally everybody dies.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: Everyone except for get shot or cut up.
[00:33:58] Speaker A: Except everybody dies except for Mark the monkey man.
Monkey man gets shot, and I'm looking
[00:34:07] Speaker B: monkey man doing no bullets, and he
[00:34:10] Speaker A: gets shot right through the middle's midsection. And then we get a scene, the fight scene, by the way, the art is it.
[00:34:18] Speaker B: It feels like it comes out of, like, a Japanese samurai movie. There's so much blood. There's so much gore. It's.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: We don't know who any of these people are, and they just kill each other indiscriminately.
[00:34:30] Speaker B: Yeah, apparently they.
Apparently they don't like each other, Dan.
[00:34:34] Speaker A: Well, monkey man does get shot, remember? His guts are hanging out.
[00:34:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, yeah. He is eviscerated since his. His midsection is.
[00:34:42] Speaker A: And he says, stupid kids. Stop talking and go. And they're like, I trusted you. And he's like. Like I said, stupid. Now hurry before the constables get here. That gets behind you, leads down the stair sewers, and he gives them a little piece of paper.
And the narrator says, it was a time of war. Isn't it always friendly?
[00:35:05] Speaker B: I'm sorry.
[00:35:08] Speaker A: And then we get some backstory, and the narrator says, I was born on a planet called Cleave, an ancient Ball of mud circling a faded old star.
It never had much strategic value, but the place still mattered to me anyway.
See, this is where my parents met.
But it's not where they were from.
And it shows a spiral galaxy and draws a line. It says they grew up way over here, back where the war began.
And it looks like we have a big planet. This is Landfall, the largest planet in the galaxy. And also my mother's home. And then there's a moon. And said it had only one satellite.
Is Wreath, my father's native moon. And if there was ever a time these two got along, nobody remembers it.
So it looks like there's been a long term war between Wreath and Landfall. Okay. Okay, got that. So we've got Landfall wings, Wreath horns.
[00:36:15] Speaker B: Okay.
Makes sense.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: And cleave.
Were they now?
[00:36:23] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: And it and I will forget. So you're gonna have to help me remember.
[00:36:27] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: When the war with Reef started, it was fought amidst the general population in the cities like this one, Landfall's capital.
But because the destruction of one would send the other spinning out of orbit, Both sides began to outsource combat foreign lands. While peace was restored at home, the conflict soon engulfed every other world. With each species forced to pick a side planet or moon.
Some of the locals never stopped thinking about the battles being waged in their names on distant soil.
Mostly didn't really give a.
Yeah, so they have a. Looks like they have a peaceful existence on their moon in their home planet. But they have sent their armed forces off to fight their battles in other lands and take them over.
So, yeah, it looks like each side is taking over, trying to take over parts of the galaxy.
[00:37:29] Speaker B: Like a giant game of risk.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: Yeah, like a giant game of risk.
And then we turn the page and I must say that one robot guy is a robot lady.
[00:37:44] Speaker B: Yes, Momentarily.
[00:37:47] Speaker A: Literally. What has happened?
He has some sort of malfunction.
[00:37:53] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:37:57] Speaker A: And then he says, I'm sorry. Which is usually not a good sign
[00:38:02] Speaker B: during the sexual intercourse. Now.
[00:38:05] Speaker A: No. I'll also announce that in the midst of this, Juliet has arrived. And she is not too happy that Mercy went to bed.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: Mercy's taking over the bed. Get out of my bed.
[00:38:18] Speaker A: In fact, I believe we'll have a guest here.
Yep. I had a feeling there would be a guest.
[00:38:24] Speaker B: Well, her bed is taken up so her lap that she likes.
[00:38:28] Speaker A: If you're on video, you can see the beautiful Juliet.
Well, the robots begin to talk about their relationship and life.
And the lady robot asks if it's about his leg, does he want her to get on top.
And he's like, it's fine. It's just jet lag, I'm sure. Something everybody said before.
And she says, of course, Four. Things will be better once we're away from this godforsaken flock.
And he's like, don't talk about them like that. They're our allies. And she's like, no, there are customers. Highest bidders in the war of good versus good.
And he's like, you think. And he's. He says, you think there's something good about what those animals did to my friends.
Did.
Did to them while they slept. And she's like, four, please. It's just in there. And then an alligator guy comes.
[00:39:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:36] Speaker A: Says, your majesties, I'm so sorry to inter. Inter. To intrude, but Prince Robot 4 has a gentleman collar. Oh, well, this could get interesting.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: That's. Maybe that's why he had to stop,
[00:39:48] Speaker A: but said his business was sensitive.
And then we get this gentleman with wings. So he would be part of the Landfall people.
[00:39:58] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:00] Speaker A: He's like, may I help you? And he's like, hold on.
This app was trying to auto update and now my whole thing is frozen. Are you even getting a signal in here?
Wow. What a.
We've met these people.
[00:40:14] Speaker B: Typical. Yeah, see them all the time.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: That's. They. They come in, wait in line to check out at the store, and aren't too busy texting.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: Yes. And then you're like, can you. Can you. Can you move forward, please? It's open in a second.
[00:40:30] Speaker A: And, well, and. And number four says, you know, I'm not sure if you've been briefed on this, but I just returned from a two year tour of hell.
And he's like, yeah, I was at your big metal ceremony yesterday. A marching band sounded like shit.
And he says, I'm a special agent, Gail, Secret intelligence. Sorry, am I supposed to genuflect or something? I'm not up on my royal protocols.
And he said. And number four says, look, what is this all about?
And he puts up a picture of Alana and says, her?
And he's like, should I know who that is? And he's like, probably not. Name's Alana. Drafted. She flunked out of state. I overlapped her with. I overlapped her with for six months. A basic. Struck me as a dim, impulsive, kind of fantastic. This guy is my favorite character so far.
And she was reprimanded for abject cowardice.
You know, her first time seeing action and later redeployed to the planet Cleave. Ah. Okay.
And Number Four says. Holy. We're still posting people to Cleave. I thought that was just an urban legend. They used to scare new recruits.
Apparently, we don't like that mud ball that they mentioned earlier.
[00:41:54] Speaker B: Don't like being there.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And what we find out is they are not happy because she got together with this Wreath foot soldier that was a prisoner. And then they escaped. And obviously we've seen what happened. They had a kid.
[00:42:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:42:10] Speaker A: And so they are basically telling Number Four he has to go get them.
[00:42:19] Speaker B: Your job is to get them.
[00:42:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And then, you know, find out that she's pregnant. And they tell Number Four, basically, yes, you need to go kill them. But the baby must live because we're not, you know, we're not terrible.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: We're not monsters.
[00:42:39] Speaker A: But Number Four says, you're saying she willingly laid down with one of those monsters?
So they're.
Apparently the TV guys are supporting Landfall, but the robots. But they don't support the moon. So.
[00:42:59] Speaker B: The moon.
[00:43:00] Speaker A: Wreath.
[00:43:01] Speaker B: Where from? The moon.
The moon.
Is it made of cheese?
[00:43:07] Speaker A: Anyway, the moon. Moral of the story here is robot Number Four has to go out and do this.
And apparently he's a prince because his dad is the king.
[00:43:20] Speaker B: Ah.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: Of the robot.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: Yes, the king.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: I don't know where the robot people are from yet. Do we know?
[00:43:26] Speaker B: Not necessarily, I don't think.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: And then the narrator says the baby narrator feature narrator. Very wonder years.
[00:43:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:43:38] Speaker A: From my very first day, I was pursued by men. All of them tried to hurt me, but only one managed to break my heart.
Sorry. Getting ahead of myself.
It is really cool to have the kind of overarching narrator here.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: Right.
[00:43:58] Speaker A: See the story.
[00:43:59] Speaker B: It is.
[00:44:00] Speaker A: I've always liked this writing technique.
[00:44:03] Speaker B: It's good.
[00:44:04] Speaker A: I'm probably gonna steal it. Honestly.
[00:44:05] Speaker B: It drives it. Yeah, you should.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: I already have stolen it.
[00:44:09] Speaker B: Thief.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: I didn't steal it. I wrote the script before I read this.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: And then it just happened to work.
[00:44:16] Speaker A: It just happens to do the same thing.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:44:19] Speaker A: Anyway, that writing project. Shelved for now. Anyway.
[00:44:24] Speaker B: It's gonna happen because I'm gonna make you do it. I mean, we worked on it a few months back.
[00:44:29] Speaker A: We talked about it. We didn't work on it. But anyway, I thought they get back to. Alana and Marcos are away from the robot folk, and she's like. They're like. I thought she'd never quit quite crying. And they're like, can you blame her? Her life has been comprised of primary firefights. Primarily firefights so far. So it's a little bit crazy.
[00:44:55] Speaker B: Not great.
[00:44:57] Speaker A: And we find out that Alana has stolen a firearm. And Marco does not like this.
So Marco is anti violence? Apparently, for some reason. Apparently.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: Well, which does sort of make sense. I mean, if you grew up in war, you might not like violence too much.
[00:45:15] Speaker B: Yeah. You're, like seeing nothing good come out of this.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And so he asks if you. Have you ever been shot with one of those? Because I have. And it hurt like the day my dog died. And she's like, you had a dog? I didn't know you had a dog.
He's like, yeah, Rumper. He was a run over by a school bus when I was 12. What the hell?
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
[00:45:41] Speaker B: It is sad.
[00:45:43] Speaker A: I mean, besides John Wick.
[00:45:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: Which I didn't watch after the first five minutes. Is everybody's wear gets better.
It can't possibly get better. They murdered the dog at the beginning.
[00:45:54] Speaker B: You have to watch the rest of the movie.
[00:45:55] Speaker A: Dan actually killed his dog. I get it, but I just don't want to see the dog.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: Once you get to the fourth movie, you get four dogs.
[00:46:05] Speaker A: I don't want to see the fourth movie.
Plus, I've seen Cyborg by Albert Pune.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:46:13] Speaker A: And they do the same thing in that.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: That's true, they do. But you watched the whole movie and
[00:46:18] Speaker A: kill a dog in the middle. No, I didn't.
[00:46:21] Speaker B: Where do you think John Wick got the. Got the idea because he.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: I stopped watching after the middle of the movie. If you ran out of time and
[00:46:28] Speaker B: had to go somewhere else, if you knew what happens. It's almost beat for beat. John Wick.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: Well, maybe in Alex Rating Alex's a Robot story by Travis Webb, you'll find out what happens to the dog. I don't know.
[00:46:42] Speaker B: Or what happened. Why Alex does what Alex does.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: I don't even remember what I called it earlier in the podcast, so I'm ruining the bit now.
[00:46:50] Speaker B: It's okay. It can be whatever you want it to be because it doesn't have a name.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: It's a robot. Landfall. Yes, it's robot Alex's story.
Okay, so the next one now we. We get the piece of paper that the monkey shop owner gave them, and it is apparently a map.
[00:47:09] Speaker B: A map? Are they gonna go find One Eyed Willy?
[00:47:14] Speaker A: I don't know, but I don't think so because. But this has the Forte mountains, the river of Tranquility, the Murder Valley, the woods, the uncanny bridge.
[00:47:26] Speaker B: Yeah, you don't want to go to
[00:47:27] Speaker A: the Rocket Ship Forest. And they.
And the Molasses Swamp.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: I see.
You don't want to go to most of those places, I don't think.
[00:47:37] Speaker A: No, definitely not. The Molasses Swamp. I mean, you always got stuck there. You draw the wrong card and you'd have to go all the way back and get stuck in the Molasses Swamp. It was terrible.
[00:47:45] Speaker B: It's just a never ending loop of sending you back to the same place. You get out and then it's like, please return to where you came from.
Hey.
[00:47:54] Speaker A: But when you got the double yellow, that was always cool. You'd go up to yellow spaces. Yeah.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: Yeah,
[00:48:01] Speaker A: definitely. Molasses Swamp.
You know, I could have.
If you had bet on Polymarket, that Dan would say Molasses Swamp in an episode.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:16] Speaker A: Of this podcast, you would have won a lot of money if that was
[00:48:21] Speaker B: a bet that you could take. Yes. I mean, I guess it is a
[00:48:24] Speaker A: bet that you could take. Yeah. I. I didn't even know I was going to think about Molasses Swamps.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: Until you saw this map.
[00:48:32] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: And then you said.
[00:48:35] Speaker A: Anyway, she's like, the rocket ship Forest. Are you kidding me? This is exactly what we've been waiting for.
And Mark is like, alana, it's not real. And she's like, says who? Most of this planet is still uncharted, even by the natives. And we've both seen Weirder out here.
And Marco, they get in a little bit of a fight. And Marcos tries to end the fight. He's like, we're not draft dodgers. We're deserters. And she's like, don't ever say that to me. Don't ever say those words to me.
And she's like, sorry, but we have a family to think about.
Is the rallying cry. Oh, but it's not about deserter. Sorry. It's about being. Saying we have a family to think about. We shouldn't do this. And she's like, that's the rallying cry of deserter. Of. Of losers.
And so they. She basically says, we're going to do this.
And the narrator says he just couldn't say no to her. As Marco looks on.
Not too excited about going to the rocket ship forest.
[00:49:42] Speaker B: The rocket ship forest.
[00:49:44] Speaker A: And so narrator said, we get to a different landscape. So we get to a change of scene narrator place. But if you'd known what. What wheels had started spinning over on Wreath, my father would have never left those tunnels.
What's going on Wreath?
So we found out what was going on.
We found out what was going on. On Landfall, right. They're sending robot number four and Cleave and Mambo number five.
[00:50:15] Speaker B: Great song.
Great song.
[00:50:19] Speaker A: And now we meet this guy, and a giant cat, he comes in.
[00:50:24] Speaker B: He says, is it He Man?
He man has a big cat.
[00:50:28] Speaker A: Good movie.
And so this big creature comes out with breathing fire.
Or about to breathe fire anyway. And he. This man says, I'm here to see somebody named vez. I have an appointment.
And this guy blows fire and he throws gunpowder into him and explodes him.
[00:50:54] Speaker B: It is a mess.
[00:50:56] Speaker A: And after doing that, this person comes out and says, you're the man they call the Will. So his name is the Will.
The Will. Not Will.
[00:51:06] Speaker B: The Will.
[00:51:07] Speaker A: The Will.
And she says, I'm vez. You're hired. And VEZ has a horn, but, like a unicorn horn.
[00:51:14] Speaker B: Yeah, or Narwhal.
[00:51:16] Speaker A: This must be going on on Wreath, right?
[00:51:19] Speaker B: Could be. Who knows?
[00:51:22] Speaker A: And he's really mad because he's like, you just wasted a beautiful creature like that on an audition.
And he's like, I don't give a Who you are. My union rep is gonna. So apparently he's part of a union.
[00:51:38] Speaker B: Yeah, he's part of a union. Union of. Of intergalactic Bounty freelancers.
[00:51:44] Speaker A: Because it makes sense, because freelancers usually have unions.
Generally the term freelance lines up with a union.
So I'm. I'm intrigued. I don't know what's going on.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:59] Speaker A: And while she says his name is Marco, they want him to go kill somebody.
The tablets of prophecy have just revealed that he'll soon be responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent souls.
And the cat looks up and says, lying.
So she's not going to Donald Trump her way out of this.
And she says, I'm sorry, did you just call me a liar? And he. Well, the Will says, she's not an animal. She's a lion cat.
Her kind isn't big on ornamentation, so I'd keep it plain. And then VEZ changes the story. Plainly, then, on the planet Cleave, foot soldier Marco chose to renounce his oath and betray the narrative by fraternizing with an enemy combatant. Ah, here we go.
[00:52:50] Speaker B: So it's.
[00:52:50] Speaker A: It's not about the weapons of mass destruction at all. It's about something else.
[00:52:54] Speaker B: It's a. Yeah, it comes down to the sex.
[00:52:58] Speaker A: And she's just like. To protect my troop morale, my superiors want both Marco and his eliminated by a discrete subcontractor before word of their coupling spreads to the rank and file. So for some reason, the people on Wreath don't want to know.
Want anybody to know that. That somebody from Wreath got together with somebody from Landfall.
[00:53:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:53:20] Speaker A: Because that would just ruin the war, apparently, and probably ruin all the money she's made.
[00:53:24] Speaker B: And wait, people can fall in love and make children and. And there's.
Set aside their differences.
[00:53:34] Speaker A: And she also lets him know that he's not the only freelancer they've hired.
[00:53:38] Speaker B: Oh, there's another.
[00:53:41] Speaker A: And says. Or am I lying about that? And the lion cat just looks, huffs.
So the will takes the contract, I believe.
And he does it because he's like, what kind of a kid? What kind of bring a kid into a world like this, into worlds like these?
And we flip back to those and they are trying to work their way to the rocket ship forest through some sort of underground.
And Marco says, we shouldn't be traveling after dark. This is when the horrors come out. Not the horrors, but the horrors.
Not like Tommy boy.
[00:54:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:54:32] Speaker A: When the whores come.
But this is the horrors. So when I mispronounce it multiple times, you know, I mean, the horrors. Not the horrors.
[00:54:40] Speaker B: The horrors, the whores, the whole. It still sounds like you're saying the same thing, Dan.
[00:54:47] Speaker A: I don't know what I'm trying to cry.
Horrors, horrors, horrors.
[00:54:56] Speaker B: I remember as a kid, I. I called somebody a whore thing, like, in the sense of, like, they were scary.
Like, they're a horror, they're a terror. And. And I got just berated by adults. You never call somebody a horror.
[00:55:10] Speaker A: And I was like, well, what if they are?
[00:55:12] Speaker B: They're. They're. They're a terrible person. Like, that's what I meant. And there's like.
[00:55:16] Speaker A: You meant they were a horror.
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Horror. A horror. A horror.
Horror. The English language is difficult, everybody. Why do we have so many words that are so similar?
[00:55:31] Speaker A: Well, Marco is claiming the horrors aren't imaginary. And Alana is saying, you know what my idea of horror is? 9 months of forced sobriety. If anybody could survive that.
And he yells, quiet, listen.
And they get to the edge and they look out and they see an entire fight. Battle going on, presumably between.
And Landfall troops.
[00:55:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:56:02] Speaker A: And they are shocked and saddened by this.
And she says, it's not fair. The front line was on the other side of the planet last year. How are both armies already fighting here?
And he just says, alana. And she says, I know, okay. I was stupid to think we could ever outrun this. I'm not going to say it. War, though I agree with her sentiment.
[00:56:31] Speaker B: Oh, for sure.
[00:56:33] Speaker A: And then they have a discussion and they Decide. But Marco's like, we have Hope because they have the kid.
[00:56:43] Speaker B: Yeah, that'd be a good name.
[00:56:46] Speaker A: And Alana said, you think I'm calling my daughter Hope?
Basically, I want a divorce.
Like, it's too corny. And she says. The narrator says, my name is Hazel.
I started out as an idea, but I ended up something more. Not much more, to be honest. It's not like I grow up to become some great war hero or any sort of all important savior, but thanks to these two, at least I get to grow old.
Well, good news. So we know the baby's gonna live.
There's more, but we don't know anything else.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: No.
[00:57:20] Speaker A: And then she says, but then they zoom in on both her parents and say, not everybody does.
And we've got all these red eyes looking at them as they kiss.
This is a very creepy panel or a full page? Not a panel. Full page.
[00:57:36] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a really good page.
[00:57:38] Speaker A: And it ends chapter one.
[00:57:41] Speaker B: Oh, chills. Just good stuff.
[00:57:45] Speaker A: I mean, I like this a lot. And I kept reading very quickly. Yeah, it's easy to do. You're past me. I've made it all the way to chapter six. And you've made it all the way through the entire graphic.
[00:57:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I. I've read it before, so it's just a. It's. It's a return back for me.
[00:58:02] Speaker A: But how often does Greg read more than Dan?
It's been at least a few. It's been at least three years since you were further ahead in the books than I was. Yeah, so because Greg is much busier than I am, and so it is harder for him to read.
[00:58:20] Speaker B: So when you say Greg doesn't like to read. Yeah, no, it's true. It is I being busy and stuff like that, but, I mean, the fact that I can read it on a computer tablet, on my phone is fantastic in the format that we have it in. That's the cool thing about technology today. It's great. You can just share it to any of those devices and just read it wherever you are, whatever you want.
[00:58:45] Speaker A: Well, the important thing about the podcast today, we've learned a couple of things from this book. One, I learned how in Spanish to say, I warn you, don't touch me. Don't you. Don't touch me. So I believe I'm going to add that to all of my dating profiles.
[00:58:58] Speaker B: There you go.
I thought you're gonna. I thought you're gonna. When you go to the luchador. Mask.
Luchador.
[00:59:06] Speaker A: Oh, God. That should just be like you should just have that on a shirt.
[00:59:11] Speaker B: I warned you. Don't touch me. Yeah, yeah. And then. Oh, think about it. You'll just get messed up.
[00:59:21] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, this is a fantastic start to a story. I highly recommend reading it and reading along with this.
I said, I guess I don't know if it'll be full eight episodes because I don't know that we'll. I think, you know, we could because. Because of the style that this is written in, it's not one where we have to cut. We could cover a couple of chapters at a time just because it flows so well that we don't have. And also we don't have other things to talk about. Like we don't have like the advertisements in the middle to talk about things like that. Some of the older com comics. So we're reading through. But yeah, I mean, it's. This is fantastic so far. Now I understand why everybody said to read this and here I have it. And so. But today we're probably going to start wrapping this thing up because Greg's exhausted and I'm over here yawning.
[01:00:15] Speaker B: If you're listening, we have a big
[01:00:16] Speaker A: event to go to.
[01:00:18] Speaker B: What?
[01:00:18] Speaker A: We have a big event to go to tomorrow. Oh, yeah, I know if you're listening to this, you've already missed us at that big event, so.
[01:00:24] Speaker B: Yeah, but I've heard people tell me that they're going to find us.
So we already have a couple folks that are going to say hi, I
[01:00:33] Speaker A: hope I find them because I bought something for the show.
[01:00:36] Speaker B: Oh, yeah? What did you got?
[01:00:37] Speaker A: Yeah, and future shows. I bought a whole pack of clear stickers to hand out to people in addition to our other stickers. So you can get our standard sticker, but you can also get these. Very nice. Let me see if I can get one out of here. Clear stickers.
[01:00:51] Speaker B: Oh, very cool.
Clear like.
Like on a window of a car.
[01:00:56] Speaker A: You put on the window of your car. You can put it on the back of your computer. You could do all sorts of things with these stickers. But I will have these with me.
And next time when we go to Grid City later on, I will have them with me. Do. So you stop by, you can either you can get. One of. You can get. You can get both if you want.
[01:01:13] Speaker B: But what, you're going to give away both stickers to people.
[01:01:17] Speaker A: This sticker is fun. It has the QR code for the YouTube channel. So you can go there, check out the show. You get the full logo, you can get the partial logo you can get whatever you want. But most importantly, come say hi to us, because when we're out and we have our gear on, we want to talk to you, so.
[01:01:33] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:01:34] Speaker A: Greg always wants to talk to you. I mostly want to talk to people sometimes, but, you know, so if you hit us up and Greg's talking, and I'm.
I don't know when to stop talking, and I don't know when to start talking. Greg is just a normal person, so he's.
[01:01:51] Speaker B: On occasion. Although I've been told sometimes I. I am not.
[01:01:57] Speaker A: If we are at a comic show.
[01:01:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:01:59] Speaker A: And I am. Say I'm looking at.
Let's say I'm looking at a tabloid comic, and I turn to Greg, and I am bitching about the price.
[01:02:10] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:02:10] Speaker A: That is the perfect time to come up and talk to us.
[01:02:13] Speaker B: Yes, probably. And you might actually see that same comic at this show for the same price. Maybe actually more.
[01:02:19] Speaker A: I guarantee you'll save the same comic at this show for the exact same price, because nobody sold it at that price.
[01:02:25] Speaker B: It's gonna be more this year.
[01:02:28] Speaker A: It frustrates me because.
Don't tell Ann, because remember, I went and bought that book on ebay because I couldn't find a local vendor here that would sell it to me at a reasonable price.
[01:02:39] Speaker B: Hey, I honestly, like, I think she gets.
[01:02:42] Speaker A: She.
[01:02:43] Speaker B: She understands that aspect of things.
[01:02:44] Speaker A: Well, that's because at the retro emporium on Meeker street in Kent, Washington, where you can relive childhood, you will actually find things at a reasonable price, not an ebay giant markup or marked up for where the comic book market was five years ago during COVID which is now about half that because I literally. I damaged a book. Sadly, I had it. Remember how I got the really cool idea to put books in those cool holders?
[01:03:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:03:07] Speaker A: And then I knocked one on the ground.
[01:03:09] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[01:03:10] Speaker A: And the COVID came off the book.
[01:03:11] Speaker B: Oh, that's terrible.
[01:03:13] Speaker A: So I just went back and bought the same book I paid 80 bucks for two years ago.
I paid 40 bucks for it.
[01:03:19] Speaker B: Oh, well, see, that's a good thing.
[01:03:21] Speaker A: In the same condition.
[01:03:22] Speaker B: So, see, you won.
[01:03:24] Speaker A: And I'm gonna display the one I broke, and I'm gonna keep the nice one in my drawers.
[01:03:29] Speaker B: There you go. In your pants.
[01:03:32] Speaker A: Yep.
[01:03:33] Speaker B: He's gonna.
[01:03:33] Speaker A: That's what you do with comics. You roll them up and stick them in your pocket, and you take them to a picnic.
[01:03:38] Speaker B: That's a good idea. That's actually how I do it, so.
[01:03:41] Speaker A: Yeah, but. And. And of course, you know, we have other Great folks. We have great listeners.
[01:03:47] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:03:47] Speaker A: You could always leave us some feedback. You can. As Greg pointed out last episode, you could leave us five stars and then talk about how terrible the podcast is
[01:03:56] Speaker B: or just how much you.
Yeah. Not.
[01:04:00] Speaker A: You can go to YouTube and like. And subscribe.
[01:04:02] Speaker B: Yeah, you could do that. Oh, my gosh. We're saying these things. Dan, this is terrible, listeners. I'm so sorry.
[01:04:09] Speaker A: Like. And if you really don't like us, you can hire Jiu Jitsu lawyer Paul to represent you.
[01:04:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
And no conflict of interest there.
[01:04:18] Speaker A: Right. Because let me tell you, if you're going to go on the Internet and you're going to accuse people of things like, let's say you were going to create a whole podcast series about how bricks and minifigs stole hundreds of thousands of dollars of Legos from somebody, you definitely should do that without a lawyer helping you.
[01:04:40] Speaker B: Yeah, no, you should. You should have a lawyer.
[01:04:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:45] Speaker B: Legal help.
[01:04:46] Speaker A: And if you're the American Fork Police Department, you definitely should accidentally release all the unredacted body cam footage you have showing that you're violating people's Fourth Amendment rights.
[01:04:58] Speaker B: What?
Yes.
[01:05:00] Speaker A: Yeah, that's.
[01:05:02] Speaker B: It's a thing, people.
[01:05:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. Greg's following the bricks and minifig saga because Ann's following it for sure.
[01:05:10] Speaker B: It's. It's. It's weird to.
Yes, yes.
[01:05:17] Speaker A: Actually, it's really. It's really shitty because those poor store owners, the franchisees that are going to take all the blowback from this and the corp. If the corporation goes down, these are folks losing their life savings that they poured into a store for something they love. It's just. It's really terrible that a. It's really terrible that a CEO is so irresponsible and so unsavvy with media. Right. That they would have anything get to this point.
But more importantly, instead of doing all these lawsuits, how about just give the guy his fucking Legos back?
[01:05:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:59] Speaker A: Did you see that? Josh Johnson just did a special saying. I'm not the. That Josh Johnson.
[01:06:04] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[01:06:06] Speaker A: He's not the LEGO guy.
[01:06:07] Speaker B: Josh Johnson, not the LEGO guy. Well, I mean, to what you said, too, about the. The. The shop owners that. That bought into this brand and became franchise franchisees and stuff like that. It goes beyond that, too, to people that we know that have stores that are similar and they're the only store locally that does this. They're not a franchisee of this company. But people are linking them because of the fact that they sell Lego. Yeah. In the aftermarket and it's. And it, and it's terrible. Like, you know, the fact that you've got stand up folks doing, doing good stuff for the community and on the side of, of running their business, getting lumped into this and then having to go on the Internet and say, I'm not even part of this. Don't come at me.
[01:06:59] Speaker A: I'm. I'm not these guys.
[01:07:00] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it's.
[01:07:02] Speaker A: If you're not following it, there's plenty of coverage on it, so just find it out. You know, it even made Coffeezilla. Even Coffeezilla has done a whole episode on things now. So.
[01:07:13] Speaker B: Yeah, and I mean, I'm gonna tell you. I mean like.
[01:07:16] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:07:16] Speaker B: I mean like just being this. Happening in the Pacific Northwest, happening in an area.
[01:07:24] Speaker A: Run this story. You were on this story when it originally happened.
[01:07:28] Speaker B: When it originally happened. Yeah. Well, I mean I have family that came from that area and I have friends down that, in that, in that vicinity and stuff.
[01:07:36] Speaker A: That'd be Salem, Morgan and Eugene, Oregon.
[01:07:38] Speaker B: Yeah, well, yes, but no.
Well, crack and Kaiser, let's be honest.
[01:07:46] Speaker A: And actually, yes, it's Kaiser.
[01:07:49] Speaker B: It's technically Kaiser.
[01:07:50] Speaker A: It's all in the same area, folks.
[01:07:52] Speaker B: My, my great grandparents are buried in the cemetery there. So I mean, like, it is literally that, like I was like, oh my gosh, this happened there.
[01:08:03] Speaker A: Yep. And you know, I, I will say too word to the wise, there are trust people, trustworthy people you can consign things to. You know, I've consigned things to Ann at the Retro Emporium and when those things sold, I got all of my money. I've consigned things. I'm trying to remember the name, but I'll remember the telescope stuff. Yeah, I can sign.
[01:08:26] Speaker B: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:08:27] Speaker A: It's like, you know, consign. I've consigned things out and had very. You know, maybe they're small businesses, so it's not always the most rapid turnaround. But you know, I, Every quarter I would get a thing and of course with Ann and I just. When something sells, she's reminding me to come get my money or take your money.
[01:08:47] Speaker B: Please, I have this money for you. I don't want your money.
[01:08:50] Speaker A: Get your money. Dan. Fair warning to everybody. If you work with a group to consign it, you do actually though have to pay attention to what you're doing too.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, I, it's just, it's, it's a, it's an awful situation. But you know what, what?
That's why you do business with good people. And that's why you have lawyers like Jiu Jitsu lawyer Paul to take care of you in a bad situation. Yeah. And folks, for. If you. If you. If you did follow the reckless Ben videos, Don't talk to the police. For God's sake, don't talk to the police.
They are not your friend.
In fact, they are friends of the people that stole the Legos.
So don't talk to the police. Jeez, how many people invoke your fucking rights? Sorry.
It is not illegal that you can still be kind. You can still be polite. You can just politely say, I plead the Fifth. I would like my lawyer.
[01:09:52] Speaker B: I would like my lawyer that they start saying stuff. I mean, honestly, I would like my lawyer.
[01:09:58] Speaker A: Yep. I'm. I.
You seem like a nice fellow, but I'm not having this discussion. I am. I am pleading the Fifth and I would like my lawyer.
And you can also ask questions like, am I being detained?
[01:10:11] Speaker B: Am I being arrested?
[01:10:12] Speaker A: And if the answer is yes, well, then, you know, do what you do know, your rights, and then you can sue the out of them later with your cool lawyer.
And I don't know that Jiu Jitsu lawyer Paul would take that case, but he definitely have somebody to refer you to.
[01:10:28] Speaker B: That's right. Yeah.
[01:10:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:10:30] Speaker B: So he's great at referrals. Very true.
[01:10:32] Speaker A: But if you have an employment law issue or contract issue, come on. Yeah, he'll. He'll take care of you.
So, yeah, I think that's it.
There's some fill time at the end. Little bricks and minifigs action. We're about a month and a half behind everybody else on this. But, gosh, if you haven't watched it, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's some nuts stuff. But, you know, I started thinking about it when we started talking about those vendors that come into the shows with their super expensive books and then walk out with all their super expensive books.
[01:11:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:11:04] Speaker A: He got up. I. I always thought people went to shows to sell things that you.
[01:11:09] Speaker B: You would think they do.
Some people just like to show things at the show.
[01:11:14] Speaker A: Ah, they must be compensating for something.
[01:11:17] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know.
[01:11:19] Speaker A: Well, anyway, I'm gonna go back to pulling comic books out of little drawers for the show tomorrow. And Greg's gonna go to bed.
[01:11:25] Speaker B: I'm gonna go to sleep. Because, I mean, right now, as we're wrapping this up, I mean, I've been up quite a long day, and it's still I still have things to do.
[01:11:35] Speaker A: Well, you should just go to bed and do them in the morning.
[01:11:38] Speaker B: No, I can't because I gotta go to the. I gotta go to the auto shop, so I gotta get the stuff out of the van, man.
Well, you know, that's your choice.
It is a choice, but I also chose to do this show with you for everyone else.
[01:11:53] Speaker A: Well, we love you all. We'll see you next week.
We're doing at least Saga Book two, maybe.
[01:12:00] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, we're for sure you're gonna get two. You might get three.
[01:12:04] Speaker A: Probably two. But we'll see you then.
Bye.
[01:12:09] Speaker B: Bye.
