Funny Book Forensics 382 Santa's Special Day

[00:00:06] Speaker A: All right, this episode is going to be all about Rocket Raccoon. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Don't know what happened. Rocket what? Rocket Raccoon. [00:00:21] Speaker A: Rocket Raccoon. [00:00:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:00:23] Speaker A: Rocket Raccoon. Just like we talked about Keith Giffen's greatest creation ever. [00:00:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what's going on. I have no. [00:00:33] Speaker A: Oh, no, wait. It's gonna be all about. It's all gonna. It's gonna be all about the time Trapper. [00:00:44] Speaker B: Oh, really? What? I'm confused, but I don't know, maybe it's just because my computer's glitching. [00:00:51] Speaker A: It could be everything seems to be glitching. Or Keith Giffen's other greatest creation ever, the relaunch of, like, Drax the Destroyer. What? [00:01:04] Speaker B: I never saw that one. [00:01:06] Speaker A: Annihilation. [00:01:08] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:01:10] Speaker A: I mean, Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning had something to do with that stuff, too, I believe. [00:01:17] Speaker B: Wow. [00:01:19] Speaker A: Oh, no. This episode is going to be all about Scooby. A pot. Oh, wait, we did that already. [00:01:31] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [00:01:33] Speaker A: No. So I'm just like. I made Greg laugh because he didn't expect Rocket Raccoon. But we are talking about. Well, Greg, do you want to. So I ask you what we should read next? And you said, I. I said I. [00:01:51] Speaker B: Because it is. We are rolling into the month of December. And. And. And I was like, well, you know, it's. It's. It's holiday season. We did. We did a holiday. Holiday issue last year. I. I figured, why don't we keep that kind of thing going? Why don't we? I was like, dan, dig into your boxes and find me a fun holiday issue to read. And I was. I had visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. I. I was. I was excited because, you know, last year, I think we had a couple really good. Like, the last. The last couple years. You've really. [00:02:33] Speaker A: Like last year when we had Wonder Woman submitting to men and could be bound forever if a man. If she agrees willingly to be bound by men. Like last year. Is that what you're talking about? [00:02:45] Speaker B: No, no, no. I was gonna say, like, the. [00:02:48] Speaker A: But that was in the Christmas comic book that we. Yeah, the Batman story is really good. But also, there was the Wonder Woman story. [00:02:55] Speaker B: I was gonna skip over the awkward Wonder Woman story. [00:03:00] Speaker A: I see. So you're forgetting. You remember. [00:03:03] Speaker B: I'm not forgetting. I was. I was skipping over the awkward Wonder Woman story. I was skipping over the awkward Wonder Woman story and then jumping into the wrestling story that was really good with a real, real wrestler from the past who dressed up like A Santa Claus who beat up the bad guys and helped help our superheroes that were knocked unconscious. [00:03:29] Speaker A: And you were thinking about the Batman story where Batman tried to take a day off and Christmas time and beautiful Neil Adams art. You weren't thinking about William Moulton Marston and how he was teaching children about the importance of submitting of women. Submitting to men. You forgot that one. Wow. [00:03:51] Speaker B: I never said I forgot it. I said I was skipping over it. [00:03:55] Speaker A: I see. So we've really nailed it last year on our Christmas special. [00:04:02] Speaker B: No, and we've also. We also had another. We had. We had other. We had other Christmas stuff that we talked about the, the in prior and prior podcasts as well. But. [00:04:13] Speaker A: Wow. [00:04:13] Speaker B: This one that we had Superman talking about. We had Superman delivering toys for Santa. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Claus and we had giant size. We did. We did do Superman. Oh, yeah, Superman did deliver toys for Santa Claus. I remember. That was great. And I had a guy try to. [00:04:31] Speaker B: Shoot Santa Claus with a shotgun because he thought he was getting burglarized. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Because, you know, that's very befitting of a 2025 Christmas special. [00:04:42] Speaker A: Well, this year. This year, Keith Giffin, Alan Grant, and Simon Bisley decided to create a comic completely in line. If you were going to combine 2000 A.D. which both Alan Grant and Simon Bisley worked on. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:05:02] Speaker A: With Howard the Duck, you would have this comic. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Kind of, sort of. [00:05:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:08] Speaker B: And I. And. And I was excited because, you know, something that I hadn't. Hadn't. Hadn't read. And I was like, what a Christmas gift this is. This is exactly what I, you know, I see. I see some. Some. Some good stuff all coming together here. And I was like, I was all excited because, you know, if it lines up with all my wishes and stuff like that, I think, you know, I got. I got the fat jolly man on the COVID And I'm like, I'm sitting there thinking, I'm all excited because maybe he'll bring me a new computer for Christmas. [00:05:40] Speaker A: Yeah, well, when this book came out, you would have been 14 years old. [00:05:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:46] Speaker A: And I would have been 16 years old. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:49] Speaker A: And I believe I was starting high school then. And you were not. And I believe I bought this book, but wasn't buying comics with you yet. [00:05:59] Speaker B: Yeah, correct. I was still hanging out the junior high. [00:06:03] Speaker A: And so I believe that maybe you weren't aware that I own this comic. [00:06:09] Speaker B: I am not aware. I was not aware until you told me before the podcast. And I was like, wow, really? [00:06:14] Speaker A: Giffin's name is on it. So I probably Bought it. [00:06:21] Speaker B: Right. [00:06:22] Speaker A: Oh, and Alan Grant and Keith Giffin also did member when we last had Lobo on the podcast in L, E, G, I, O, N. Oh, yeah. G, E period. G period. I period, O period, N period. Yeah. And so with his space dolphins. Yeah. Well, the space dolphins do make an appearance in one panel in this book. Those are his fish. [00:06:50] Speaker B: Gotta love it. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Well, also. They are. They are. They also belong to the church of the Triple Fish God. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it is very important because this is. [00:07:07] Speaker A: I mean, Lobo universe building is. Lobo universe building is very important. Yeah. Can you name two of Lobo's aliases? [00:07:19] Speaker B: Two of his aliases. He has many. [00:07:23] Speaker A: Many of them were referenced in this comic. [00:07:29] Speaker B: I couldn't tell you. [00:07:32] Speaker A: Well, what about the main man? They said that many times. [00:07:34] Speaker B: Oh, the main man. Yeah, the main man. [00:07:39] Speaker A: They also got one toward the end. Machete Man. [00:07:42] Speaker B: Oh, Machete. Yeah, Machete Man. [00:07:45] Speaker A: The Last Cesarean. Cesarian. Cesarean cesarian. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Mr. Machete. [00:07:53] Speaker B: Mr. Machete. [00:07:55] Speaker A: The ultimate Bastage Master. Frag. The Lord of Death. And you might be thinking, dear listeners, why am I talking about this? When Greg asked me to pick out a Christmas comic book, well, I grabbed from the long boxes the Lobotomy Paramilitary Christmas special from 1991 by Keith Giffin, Alan Grant and Simon Bisley. Because I'm having a week and I felt this was the best way to celebrate that week. [00:08:42] Speaker B: I mean, it's a fantastic. It's a. It's a. It's almost like, you know, a very. I would say this is the book that inspired Nightmare Before Christmas. [00:09:00] Speaker A: Well, here's a couple of strange things about this book that I'm going to share. I don't think you did. I'm going to gloss over that. [00:09:06] Speaker B: Why not? You're going to gloss over that. [00:09:09] Speaker A: But, I mean, I think it inspired some other things that we can talk about, namely a movie that came out. [00:09:13] Speaker B: Last year, the Nightmare Before Christmas. [00:09:17] Speaker A: No, what was the movie that came out last year where Santa was fighting the robbers and. [00:09:26] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:09:28] Speaker A: You don't know. [00:09:29] Speaker B: There's. [00:09:29] Speaker A: I remind you, for a couple of small things, pop culture. [00:09:33] Speaker B: I didn't watch. What? [00:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah, you're too busy watching reality tv and. [00:09:38] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. [00:09:38] Speaker A: I've been watching dramas with Dan to pay attention to. [00:09:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:43] Speaker A: Important things like Santa Murder. [00:09:45] Speaker B: I didn't watch that. I didn't watch that. That, that, that. There's like The. The. The two. There's the two. The two movies in which Santa is like, he's shooting RPGs and beating up bad guys. Yes, one had. One had what? David Harbour, and the other one had Mel Gibson. I don't know which one was which. [00:10:06] Speaker A: It was not Mel Gibson. It was not that one. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Okay, well, I know that one. [00:10:11] Speaker A: Harbor. [00:10:12] Speaker B: Okay. [00:10:13] Speaker A: It was December 2022. My bad. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. Well, I know they both came out. [00:10:18] Speaker A: It's called Violent Night. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Violent. [00:10:20] Speaker A: I believe that might have been inspired by this book here. [00:10:24] Speaker B: Okay, maybe. Maybe there's a. There's a new one where Santa gets kidnapped that came out this year, and it's got the rock and that. The America's ass in it. [00:10:37] Speaker A: Well, I was gonna watch the new Dear Santa movie with the. The person from the bad half of Tenacious D is in. Starring in. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Oh, dear Santa. Dear, Dear Satan. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Yeah, the. Remember, Remember, like, Tenacious D has, like, one talented performer and then one untalented performer. [00:10:59] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:11:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:01] Speaker B: And he's the untalented one. [00:11:03] Speaker A: The untalented one. Keeps getting to be in every movie. Yeah. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. [00:11:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, anyway. [00:11:11] Speaker B: Anyway. [00:11:13] Speaker A: Yes, we have the Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special. I think I already said that. It. On the COVID it says, warning contains bad taste in the form of ultra violence, icon bashing, and the finger. More offensive than Christmas usually is. In the other corner, it says, suggested for mature readers. [00:11:37] Speaker B: I still can't read this book. [00:11:39] Speaker A: I had to put it away. I had to put it away. If you read this book, I don't know that it should be suggested for mature readers, but that's okay. [00:11:51] Speaker B: I don't think any of our listeners can read this book. [00:11:54] Speaker A: I think this is a very controversial book. [00:11:57] Speaker B: It. Oh, yeah, I know. I. I got. I'm gonna. Just off the top, I mean, the COVID it looks like Santa's helping him build a nice little. A nice little snowman. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Looks like he just murdered Santa Claus. [00:12:12] Speaker B: No, Santa's making a snowball. They're gonna. He's got his knife out. He's gonna carve up a face like a pumpkin. That's why I felt it was very like, you know, a Nightmare Before Christmas feeling. You know, He's. He's got that. That nice feel to it. He's got a little skull on his crotch. He's gonna put that on the. On the snowman. Little. Little crotch imprint, you know, little. Right there. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Can I just say, the sim. The Simon Bisley art is perfect for this book all the way through. [00:12:44] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I kept going back and going, geez, this is really. This is really good. [00:12:49] Speaker A: This is going back to the 2080 roots. Like, I would not appreciate this Art in most books, but for this book. [00:12:57] Speaker B: For this book, yeah. [00:12:59] Speaker A: It's absolute perfection. Well, let's get to page one. [00:13:04] Speaker B: All right. If we must. [00:13:06] Speaker A: We've got a house on a. Oh, this book doesn't have page numbers. [00:13:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. I love that part about it. That's like. That's a gift to you. No page numbers. [00:13:16] Speaker A: So let's go to the page inside the COVID Since there are no pages inside the COVID it's impossible to help people follow along this long $2.39 book. Why they charge 239 for it is also beyond me. It seems like the strangest price ever. [00:13:31] Speaker B: For a holiday special. Holiday special. You know, Gotta get that money. [00:13:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, there's this weird looking house on a hill and they're singing silent night, Holy night, All is calm. It says, christmas season, snow, Santa and goodwill to all. When even alien worlds dust off their Bing Crosby albums, stock up on mincemeat pies, exchange seasonal gifts, and get down to some serious revelry. Can you just tell the first page is already dripping with sarcasm? [00:14:10] Speaker B: Oh, yes, very much so. [00:14:14] Speaker A: And we start off with a couple fighting. [00:14:20] Speaker B: It's very Christmassy. It feels like it's got the marks of a Hallmark slash lifetime right there on the page. I thought more lifetime than Hallmark. [00:14:33] Speaker A: I thought. First off, imagine the housewives from glow. Oh, one of them got older and married an aging David McLean. [00:14:48] Speaker B: Okay. [00:14:49] Speaker A: The host and founder of Glow. [00:14:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:53] Speaker A: And this is the couple. [00:14:55] Speaker B: This is the couple. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. [00:14:58] Speaker A: And then they're in a fight because the guy got fired from his job for counting time while he was in the bathroom. Just how much. How often do you have to do that to get fired? [00:15:15] Speaker B: Going to the bathroom? [00:15:17] Speaker A: No, like stealing time for going to the bathroom. [00:15:21] Speaker B: I don't know. I mean, who knows? [00:15:27] Speaker A: I think the other thing in this book is you have to pay attention to stuff in the background of the art. Like, they have this cat that I didn't even notice on the first read through. [00:15:36] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. No, there's. [00:15:37] Speaker A: When I say first read through, I see it mean first read through since, like, 1990. Something. [00:15:43] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:46] Speaker A: This isn't one I pull out every year, surprisingly. [00:15:50] Speaker B: The cat, all the other stuff just dripping on the. The edges of everything. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Her rollers flying off. It's just. Yeah, it's. It's cool. So Keith Giffin did the layouts for this, and then Bisley drew it. So it was a combined effort there. I just wonder, too, with the Giffen art we've seen in the Past. [00:16:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:21] Speaker A: How many hints in the layouts that Giffen is just throwing crap in the background and then Bisley's, like, digging into it, or if it's fizzly just coming up with everything. It's probably both, right? [00:16:32] Speaker B: Yeah, probably a little bit of this, a little bit of that. [00:16:35] Speaker A: I mean, remember the Legion backgrounds Giffen was drawing? Oh, that were insanity. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:16:43] Speaker A: No wonder he burned himself out as an artist for a few minutes. It was like, insane. Insane. What he would draw. Well, anyway. Well, the guy says it's fragging stupid time of the year. Jolly my butt. Whoever invented Christmas ought to be roasted in hell. Sorry, kids, but you know what they say? Do unto others before they blast your butt. So he's getting ready to kill his kids? [00:17:12] Speaker B: I think so, yeah. [00:17:14] Speaker A: Wow, that's weird. It's like the opposite of the Teen Titans books, Right? [00:17:20] Speaker B: Whereas Parentheside. [00:17:22] Speaker A: Yeah, in every issue, a lot of parasite was happening. Yeah, in here. Apparently, he's off to kill the kids because he doesn't make enough money anymore. [00:17:36] Speaker B: To support them and can't give them a good Christmas. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure it'll make itself. Really? [00:17:47] Speaker A: Well, apparently the babies do something too. We don't get to see them because mom says. I'm presuming this is. Mom says, set it on automatic. We don't want any vengeance crazed survivors on our hands. Remember what the baby did to Chuck in Marge last year? So apparently their child has killed others. Okay, I don't know. This is very weird. [00:18:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Interesting story so far. [00:18:16] Speaker A: And it just stopped somebody. And somebody knocks on the door, and the woman opens and says, yes, can I shoot this? That is, can I help you? And there's a book, and they get a holiday book, and they're like, well, hell, it's only a book. [00:18:37] Speaker B: And it's only a book. Let's take a look. [00:18:38] Speaker A: The lady's worried about a booby trap or cyanide or plastique in it. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Yeah, it's gonna blow up or kill them somehow. [00:18:45] Speaker A: What kind of planet is this? [00:18:47] Speaker B: It's a messed up planet, that's what it is. [00:18:50] Speaker A: Are we in, like, another dimension or something? [00:18:53] Speaker B: The guy looks like Bill the Cat. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Well, anyway, uh, you're right. Well, they read the book, they open the book, and we get a page to start the book. No job, no money, no prospects, no Christmas. Each year, thousands of parents die in incidents of domestic violence perpetrated by their own and very irate children. Oh, so it is parasite. [00:19:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. [00:19:22] Speaker A: Yes, that's right. So they're defending themselves. Oh, I get it. The whole beginning. This is what inspired those awful movies where everybody has to hide and they get to kill everybody for one night. [00:19:36] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, yes, inspired. [00:19:38] Speaker A: The Purge. [00:19:40] Speaker B: I've seen them. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Purge 1. [00:19:41] Speaker B: The Purge. [00:19:41] Speaker A: Merry Christmas. The Purge. I don't. [00:19:45] Speaker B: I don't think they did. [00:19:47] Speaker A: The Purge. Hanukkah. The Purge. Kwanzaa. [00:19:51] Speaker B: No. [00:19:53] Speaker A: The Purge. Festivus. [00:19:55] Speaker B: Yes. Put your grievance in the poll. [00:19:58] Speaker A: You remember that one? [00:19:59] Speaker B: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, every. Every think of every type of holiday around here. It's. It's important. So each year, thousands of. Oh, I read that part. Sorry. What can. What can you do to prevent your death? Fortunately, the answer is simple. Merrily. Read this book to your children. Oh, the Lobo Christmas Sanction or Tis the season to be Jolly? Rat A tat tat a tat tat tat. Oh, I believe that was a G.I. joe book. Christmas. That was the G.I. joe Christmas special. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:20:36] Speaker A: The G.I. joe Christmas rat. A tat tat tat. Did you read that one? [00:20:42] Speaker B: I might have. Cobra Commander. And they shrink all the. All the tanks and stuff like that and the airplanes, and they wrap them up as presents and then they unshrink them after they get open so that they can attack town. [00:20:58] Speaker A: Please tell me that's true. [00:21:00] Speaker B: I believe that's the story. [00:21:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:21:04] Speaker B: Why are we reading that next year? We have to save stuff for next year, Dan. [00:21:10] Speaker A: Why aren't we reading that? Well, save anyway. [00:21:12] Speaker B: Next year. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Whoa, you say? What difference can one poxy little book make? Is that poxy? Is that the word? Well, to which we say, read it to them and see. Backed by our cast iron guarantee. If your kids still want a Christmas after the reading, we will pick up all the burial expenses up to but not exceeding 3,500 credits. What other publisher dares put his money where his mouth is? Try it. You've nothing to lose but your terror. A public service brought to you by Keith Giffin, Simon Bisley, Laverne Kisner. Ski on colors. By the way, the coloring in this book is spot on. It's very good for what it is. Yeah. Gaspar on letters. That'd be Saladino Gaspar. Yeah. And Dan Raspler edited this. Though I'm not really sure that this book needed an editor. I can't imagine why anybody would edit this book. Yeah, well, anyway, that was an awkward pause. You just grinned like you're. Like, I would. I would take the money to edit this book, Dan. Thank you. [00:22:29] Speaker B: I Would. I would. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Well, anyway, they're reading the COVID and they read on to check it out. [00:22:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:39] Speaker A: So, yeah, once upon a time, there was this really cool dude, and there was also a dog. Do you know the name of Lobo's dog? [00:22:48] Speaker B: Is it Dog? [00:22:50] Speaker A: It is. Did you really know that or did you just say. [00:22:56] Speaker B: I think. I think that's what he, like, he's like. And this is my dog. Dog. [00:23:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:05] Speaker B: This dog's been following me around. [00:23:08] Speaker A: Now, do you feel like Crossbones. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Ripped off Lobo? [00:23:15] Speaker A: Yeah. But then put a mask on. [00:23:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Oh, definitely. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Or is it Shitty Bane? [00:23:24] Speaker B: Oh, who? Lobo. Shitty Bane. [00:23:27] Speaker A: Or Crossbones is Shitty Bane. But if it Lobo is Crossbones without a mask, then is he just Shitty Bane without a mask? [00:23:38] Speaker B: Crossbones. A Shitty Bane. [00:23:42] Speaker A: Okay, we're leaving Crossbones out of this. Yeah, we're leaving. [00:23:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Well, Lobos Alobo wants something and he tells a bartender he's supposed to be mating something. And he says in the back in a booth, in a gata devita. [00:24:08] Speaker B: It's a long drum solo. [00:24:10] Speaker A: Oh, my God. There are. There are a lot of these in this book. Anyway, Lobo goes to the back and he meets a bunny rabbit. [00:24:20] Speaker B: A drunk bunny. [00:24:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And here's where we get the Howard the Duck influence. Yeah. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:24:26] Speaker A: This is really where we get the Howard the Ducks. If Howard the Duck was in 2000 AD and was a rabbit, this would be it, right? [00:24:33] Speaker B: Right? [00:24:34] Speaker A: Oh, definitely. Just full stop. And honestly, I feel like this has some Howard influences in it. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if Keith Giffin was a Howard the Duck fan. [00:24:48] Speaker B: Oh, totally. I mean, get this drunk bunny. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Well, anyway. [00:24:56] Speaker B: And Lobo to do a job. [00:24:58] Speaker A: Yeah. We'll sum up these two pages. Besides the dog wanting to eat the rabbit, which makes sense, we find out that Santa Claus, see, he's gotten way too big for his britches. See? Hell, Christmas is out of control. Santa killing us. How can we compete with his colored. With. With some. What's some colored eggs or an early spring compared to tinsel? Turkey and snow. And the bunny wants Santa dead. [00:25:33] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:25:35] Speaker A: And Lobo takes the contract. [00:25:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:40] Speaker A: And he goes out to his really cool bike. [00:25:44] Speaker B: Where's the dog gonna sit? [00:25:47] Speaker A: And we get. I don't know, but probably in front, but okay, we get. We do get the space fish, the dolphins on the next page. Just for you. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that. I was like, oh, yeah, they've made appearance. [00:26:03] Speaker A: Don't accidentally run into one of those dolphins. We found that out in the last time we saw Lobo. [00:26:08] Speaker B: Yeah, you are screwed. [00:26:11] Speaker A: You know what this comic needs? [00:26:13] Speaker B: What? [00:26:14] Speaker A: Garen Beck. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. If it had the Baxter. [00:26:19] Speaker A: Yeah. That would be like, oh, my God. [00:26:23] Speaker B: Why do we have to be here? [00:26:25] Speaker A: Everything is horrible. [00:26:27] Speaker B: Why. Why are we here with you doing whatever you're doing? No. [00:26:35] Speaker A: You think Garen Beck was like a. Just never got past age 16, you know, stunted, like. Yeah. [00:26:43] Speaker B: Arrested Development? [00:26:46] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, I think so. What game would he be playing? Balers gate. Done. [00:26:52] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. [00:26:53] Speaker A: He would never become. He'd be playing Balers gate and never leaving his room. [00:26:59] Speaker B: Are my. Are my pizza rolls done yet? Oh, they're too hot. I gotta let them cool down now. They're too cold. Oh, I really only like the Red Dew. [00:27:14] Speaker A: Oh, God. Yeah, you're dead on here. Oh, wow. Well, Lobo is. We get to. Lobo loads up to get ready to murder Santa, and then we get a picture of the North Pole that looks very different than the North Pole. I remember in the. [00:27:36] Speaker B: Oh, I know, it's very. [00:27:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't see this North Pole. I didn't see this North Pole and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. [00:27:43] Speaker B: No, this one looks like. Oh, man. There was some movie that I watched where they industrialized the North Pole and make it all like, whatever, and people go on vacations there and it turned into like, whatever. Yeah, this is that North Pole. [00:27:57] Speaker A: Was that like Santa versus the Martians? Like that was. [00:28:00] Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah. [00:28:01] Speaker A: Was that a luchador movie? [00:28:03] Speaker B: It might have been industrialized El Santo movie. El Santo where he's like, was in. [00:28:11] Speaker A: A lot of movies. [00:28:13] Speaker B: Yes. He pulls up in his. In his cool car, jumps out. He's driving a convertible up to. Up to the North Pole and he just. He's standing there in his suit with this. With this luch. Door mask and his. His two sidekicks. And then there's a Sasquatch out of nowhere. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Because, in fact, Santa Claus conquers the Martians. Oh, my bad. I don't know if it makes them. I don't think it was an El Santo movie. Wow. It was in color. It's very important. [00:28:48] Speaker B: Wouldn't that be interesting if. If Santa conquered the Martians and that's how we got elves. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Well, it was directed by a person named Nicholas Webster who made a lot of other films. In fact, he was. He directed a total of 29 whole films and TV shows. [00:29:10] Speaker B: Were they straight to DVD? Straight to. [00:29:15] Speaker A: I don't think they had DVDs when this film was made. [00:29:18] Speaker B: Straight to VHS. Straight to. Straight to the theater. Straight to the like, second run theater. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Most of these are TV shows. Well, anyway, I mean, we can't all be great. So the Santa Claus is. Well, there's some narration on this page. Says. Far to the north in the land everlasting of everlasting ice lay the stronghold of Santa Claus. A brutal dictator repeatedly slammed by Amnesty International. He ran his empire with an iron fist. Plan Malt planned malnutrition. Kept his army small in stature, but fighting fit and fierce as ferrets. Jesus. [00:29:58] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:29:59] Speaker A: Only highly sophisticated public relations techniques in a once a year charity splurge kept his image smooth with the public. Jolly Santa Claus, the world called him. But his slaves knew him better as Chris Crusher Kringle. [00:30:14] Speaker B: Whoa. [00:30:15] Speaker A: Now why did Chris Crusher Kringle never fight the Undertaker on a Christmas special? [00:30:22] Speaker B: Because he was. He could. Because Chris Crusher Kringle was part of it. Because he. Because the Undertaker was. Was with wwe. [00:30:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:37] Speaker B: And Chris Kesher Kingle was. He was still wrestling. Ecw. [00:30:45] Speaker A: Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. [00:30:47] Speaker B: So it just never happened. We never got that crossover. [00:30:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that doesn't make sense. Well, did you like that? That was. [00:30:56] Speaker B: That was good, right? [00:30:57] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that was a reach. I mean, this is 91, this comic. And that would have been like 93 or 94, but you know, I'm gonna give it to you. [00:31:05] Speaker B: Okay. Is a build up. [00:31:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:08] Speaker B: Okay. [00:31:08] Speaker A: I mean, not to ruin your joke by dating it and making it all Dan like, but, you know, it would only be me if I was here doing that, so it does make sense. Are you gonna play the noise now? Please don't play a noise. It. Don't. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't. [00:31:29] Speaker B: I'm laughing. [00:31:29] Speaker A: I'm doing a laugh for myself. Yeah, I did. [00:31:33] Speaker B: I did. I gotta laugh for myself. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Well, Lobo is pontificating over the fact that there are only two guards. And he murders them right away and starts invading the stronghold of Santa Claus. There are two dead elves or small people that fight like ferrets. And there's some very scared penguins in the background. And he runs into an electrified fence and him and Dog blow it up with some C4. And then just like, he. He gets in. And by the way, I mentioned the coloring in this. Yeah, this page with all the toys and the first off, there's a Batman toy in the background, which is awesome. [00:32:22] Speaker B: It's pretty cool. [00:32:22] Speaker A: And like, everything we got the small fighting force. [00:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah, literally a small fighting force because they're elves. They're tiny. You know what they would need? They need. They need Paul, the king of little people. [00:32:37] Speaker A: They do. Because they said, what we need is a union. We could make rules about this kind of thing. And the guy says, sure. Could also have crusher cut off your lips. Wow. All right. [00:32:49] Speaker B: They should call Paul. [00:32:51] Speaker A: Well, an intruder breaches the gates, and here it's Lobo. And they're like, oh, he's got a bomb. And, oh, the elves are, like, the naughtiest one has come. Oh, does that mean they're going to summon back their good friend Will Ferrell? [00:33:13] Speaker B: He comes all the way back from New York. [00:33:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I've got. Sir, honestly, I sort of wish elf had come out before this comic. So we could get Bob Hope's photo or Bob Hope's face on one of the elves, because that would have been funn. Or not Bob Hope. [00:33:29] Speaker B: That have been funny. [00:33:30] Speaker A: What is wrong with my brain? Not Bob Hope. [00:33:33] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:33:34] Speaker A: Bob Newhart. Good God, Dan. [00:33:36] Speaker B: Bob Newhart. Bob New. [00:33:39] Speaker A: Bob Newhart. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Bob New Hope. [00:33:42] Speaker A: Bob Newhart was the elf that guided. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:47] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Okay. He was also. Bob knew. It's Bob. That's like a Star wars crossover. [00:33:58] Speaker B: Bob Hope heart. [00:34:00] Speaker A: Bob New Hope. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Bob. Bob Hope heart. [00:34:03] Speaker A: Bob New Hope was the wizard at the end of the first episode or the fourth episode of Star wars, which was really the first episode because we don't count the first three episodes because they suck. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Yes, he was the space wizard. [00:34:14] Speaker A: Well, I like the end of the third one. [00:34:16] Speaker B: He defeated Voldemort. [00:34:21] Speaker A: What? Oh, my God. I was watching. I was. You know, I have a relevant question to this comic book, actually. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Yes. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie or not a Christmas movie? [00:34:36] Speaker B: No, it's a Christmas movie. [00:34:38] Speaker A: Yeah, it's definitely a Christmas movie. Right. We were getting into, like, apparently Bruce Willis said it's a Bruce Willis movie. [00:34:44] Speaker B: Oh, Bruce Willis. [00:34:45] Speaker A: Not a Christmas movie. It's a Bruce Willis movie. [00:34:47] Speaker B: You want a really good Christmas movie, watch, old boy. [00:34:51] Speaker A: That's fair. But I would say right here. I would say right here, this movie has a lot in common with Die Hard. [00:35:02] Speaker B: Travis is calling. [00:35:04] Speaker A: Hi, Travis. Of course he's calling. He knows we podcast it Tuesday night. [00:35:09] Speaker B: I know. He gets a reminder that says that we're podcasting on this right now. [00:35:13] Speaker A: So he won't call. [00:35:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:15] Speaker A: But he calls, and that reminds him to call. [00:35:17] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:35:19] Speaker A: We're referring to Travis, by the way, the author of many things, including Starlight. [00:35:27] Speaker B: It'S funny because he does. He literally gets a reminder about the podcast being at this time for an hour, and he calls right in the middle of it. [00:35:40] Speaker A: Well, every week. Well, Lobo totally breaks in and just murders everyone he kills. Is that a good idea? There's a lot of fantastic dialogue going on in the background, too, that I'm just ignoring. [00:35:56] Speaker B: A fantastic dialogue, and then this crazy artwork with the click, click, click, click. And it's like. It looks 3D and the OGAs and everything. I mean, it's so much stuff going on on these pages. And just like, Lobo just looks like it's. He just looks massively awesome. [00:36:21] Speaker A: Well, then we get a page of them telling the naughtiest one he surrounded. Yeah, and then we get another page where all the elves shoot Lobo with pop guns. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Oh, they got him. Got him. [00:36:37] Speaker A: And Lobo just looks at them and goes, ah, ain't they just so cute? And then uses his automatic guns that he got out just like. And slaughters all of them. He murders all of the elves. [00:36:54] Speaker B: Don't worry, everybody. It's Nerf gun. He shoots them with Nerf guns. Nothing but Nerf. It's Christmas. [00:37:00] Speaker A: Says, eat hot lead, ye unnatural dwarf geek suckers. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. I was wrong. It wasn't Nerf. [00:37:08] Speaker A: No. [00:37:09] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:37:11] Speaker A: And then we. We follow pages of elves getting cut in half with guns, their necks sawed off with guns, their head shot in their eyeballs shooting out. [00:37:26] Speaker B: He tears him in half. I mean, they're just eviscerates. These poor. These poor elves are just. There's nothing left. They're blood. They were hungry. They wanted to eat popcorn strands off the trees and candy canes and other things like that. Gingerbread houses. And they're just hoping that maybe he would, like, you know, help them. But no, no, no. He murdered them. [00:37:51] Speaker A: They did shoot him first with pop guns. And Lobo says, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go. I rip off heads. I shoot them dead. I blow their guts out through their butts. High fraggin ho. [00:38:08] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. [00:38:10] Speaker A: Notice I didn't try to sing it. [00:38:13] Speaker B: That's good. It's good. [00:38:15] Speaker A: And then he said, what's that wrong? Dwarfs. Huh? Okay, get a load of this. And he murders some more. Dog has a dog has an elf arm in his mouth. And Lobo sings some more. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout. I'm telling you why Santa Bo is coming to town. Oh, and then there's one Last one left. And dog chases him down, rips his arms off, eats his head, eats his inside. And Lobo sings. Or dog sings. He sees you when you're. I didn't know dog could sing. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. So be bad for badness sake. Oh, God, this book. And there is a pile of dead elves. [00:39:24] Speaker B: Just. Yeah, it is. They've. They've been shot, they've been torn in half, and they are. It is a pile of them. It is so many. [00:39:36] Speaker A: I mean, the best thing I can say about this comic book so far is. I mean, the art is cool. This is a Lobo comic. So the best thing I can say about this comic is. It's a Lobo comic. You know, what's important is Lobo comics should be taken very seriously and analyzed in depth, Right? Yes, definitely. Yeah. I mean, this is. This is the type of book when I'm thinking. I just. Just need to pause for a second. I mean. [00:40:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You needed to bring down a Lobo doll, an action figure, a figurine for action. [00:40:18] Speaker A: Hey, this is a McFarland, I think. Yeah. Look at that scene. [00:40:21] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very nice. [00:40:24] Speaker A: All dusty on top. [00:40:26] Speaker B: That's all right. [00:40:27] Speaker A: Libo has the gun too. Yeah, he has his chain. Yeah, yeah. I don't see any guns. He just has a big chain. [00:40:39] Speaker B: Smacking. [00:40:41] Speaker A: All right, well, anyway, back to the podcast. If you were listening to this, you weren't that excited. And since we don't do videos. Never record them. [00:40:50] Speaker B: We record the videos, but they're only for us to see. [00:40:54] Speaker A: Well, you know, eventually. I mean, I'm wearing my cool hat today. That I didn't give you. [00:40:59] Speaker B: I'm wearing a cool hat. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Well, you have to come to my house. [00:41:03] Speaker B: Well, eventually I will. [00:41:06] Speaker A: You're looking at me like 2020 in 2029. [00:41:11] Speaker B: No, no, no, no. [00:41:13] Speaker A: While moving out of town, Greg stops by the house briefly. [00:41:18] Speaker B: Whatever. Anyway, I'll be down there in a week or two. [00:41:23] Speaker A: Hu. [00:41:28] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [00:41:31] Speaker A: Lobo goes on his hunt to find Santa Claus. He basically enters Basad. Assad's. How did I mess up the leader of Syria's name so badly? Trying to make a timely reference. Yeah. Here. All Assad. I get it. Right that time. [00:41:59] Speaker B: Close enough. I'll allow it. [00:42:01] Speaker A: Okay. And basically walks into his house. His. The Santa's. Basically Santa's like palace. There's all this palace everywhere. Yeah. And we get Santa at the top of the stairs, smoking a giant cigar with a giant monkey behind him. And he says, please call me Chris or sir. This is my roommate Kong. Can he fetch you a drink? And Lobo says, in your beard, lard ball, pucker up. Pay back time for a few miserable childhood. I don't know. Lobo seems to be very angry with Santa, even though he doesn't know anything about him except that he got paid to kill him. [00:42:52] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I got paid to kill you. Me and my dog gonna kill you. [00:43:00] Speaker A: I like it when he says this. Santa says, so you say, sounds like an excuse to me. Of course, if you're a lily liver afraid of a poor old coot, could take you in a fair fight. Lobo says, bad move, Clyde. Who's Clyde? [00:43:22] Speaker B: I don't know. Some name that he. [00:43:26] Speaker A: Now your death will take. Now your death will take 10 times longer. Isn't Clyde like one of the ghosts in Pac Man? [00:43:35] Speaker B: Yes. [00:43:37] Speaker A: Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde. I don't know why I know that you're correct. Can you imagine if I would have not read any comic books and studied things in or did any pop culture and just learned science? Would I have, like, cured something or something by now? [00:44:09] Speaker B: It's hard to say. [00:44:10] Speaker A: It's hard to say, Dan, Pinky, Pinky, Blinky and Clyde, but I know that from the deep recesses of my brain. Why? I don't know, because. [00:44:23] Speaker B: Because. [00:44:26] Speaker A: Do you know that they originally weren't ghosts? [00:44:29] Speaker B: What were they? [00:44:31] Speaker A: I don't remember. I don't. I figured you would know. You know, these things. I mean, why are you smiling at me? And, like. [00:44:44] Speaker B: Because I. I could. I'm like, I. I should know this. I have a giant Pac man displayed behind me of Pac man stuff. [00:44:53] Speaker A: But it's right there, huh? [00:44:56] Speaker B: But I don't. Well, anyway, I don't have the history of Pac man next to me. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Although we discovered that Santa has an Alpha Matic cloning unit. I guess that's not. That's to make us not feel so bad about all the elves getting murdered. [00:45:10] Speaker B: Dead elves. So he's got more elves on the way if he wants them. [00:45:15] Speaker A: And Santa decides to get in a knife fight with Lobo, which seems like a terrible idea. [00:45:21] Speaker B: I mean, you know. [00:45:24] Speaker A: And basically Santa says, oh, I find a good sharp blade works best on the particularly naughty because, you know, Lobos the naughtiest. And Lobo says, blow it out your butt. So I find that the Lobo dialogue at this point is about quality. Is about, like, second grade quality, I think. [00:45:49] Speaker B: I love it. [00:45:51] Speaker A: It's fantastic. And Lobo says, famous last words, fatso. And starts cutting Santa Claus up. [00:46:00] Speaker B: They go to work. [00:46:03] Speaker A: It's. [00:46:04] Speaker B: It's violent. [00:46:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Santa says, you die, you naughty bastard. And Lobo cuts off his face and his eyeballs and murder. Santa Claus cuts off his head. And the penguins yell, free of the tyrant at last. Kong looks sad, dog looks gleeful. And the penguins yell three cheers for the main man. [00:46:35] Speaker B: Yay. [00:46:36] Speaker A: And Lobo says, season's greetings. Greet seasons greetings, Fats. [00:46:43] Speaker B: Oh boy. Blood everywhere and spurting out of the. The next stump. [00:46:48] Speaker A: Well then we get to the next page and we have a whole closet full of Santa's fetish gear he uses with his elves. [00:46:58] Speaker B: Is it with the elves or is it with his. With. With Kong? [00:47:03] Speaker A: I think it was with the elves. Cuz they reference that it's small. Now I will say that. I will say that. I now get it. I'm actually mad at Keith for writing this book with Alan Grant. I'm. I'm mad at them. [00:47:20] Speaker B: You're mad at them? Why? [00:47:22] Speaker A: Yes, because this created the whole QAnon pedophilia conspiracy. They read this book and they were like all world leaders do is have sex with the elves. [00:47:38] Speaker B: With the elves? [00:47:39] Speaker A: Yes, with the elves who are children. [00:47:43] Speaker B: Oh, they're clones. [00:47:47] Speaker A: Right. And that Santa lives in a pizza shop in Washington D.C. with no basement. That has a basement. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Oh boy. [00:47:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, that's what happened here. They read this book and that's what they extrapolated. I bet you. [00:48:03] Speaker B: Huh? [00:48:05] Speaker A: You know, can Star Trek sue. Can the Roddenberry estate sue the QAnon? [00:48:14] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:48:14] Speaker A: Maybe stealing the gimmick? [00:48:17] Speaker B: Stealing the name? Yes. [00:48:18] Speaker A: Can John Delancey just punch him in the face? [00:48:23] Speaker B: Maybe. Let's hope. [00:48:24] Speaker A: Can he frag him? There's a lot of fragging that happened in this. [00:48:30] Speaker B: A lot of fragging. [00:48:32] Speaker A: Well, Lobo storms off and the penguins follow him. And the penguins are considering whether or not they should go back to the South Pole and be with their families. And they're like, no, we want to join Lobo's gang. Lobo gets the naughty and nice list. He gets the world's best data bank. He's thinking, yeah, he's planning on murdering everybody who's naughty, so he has no competitors, which is fantastic. That's very Lobo thinking right there. Very high level thought. This book is full of high level thoughts, concepts. Then you don't spend your. Then we get some narration you don't spend your life with. Earn your very living from weapons of mass Destruction and destruction without picking up a little technical know how. Along the way, in fact, Lobo is with Kong and Dog is loading up all these nuclear weapons that Santa Claus had to launch at all the naughty children in one last effort to get rid of them all. And then Lobo goes out looking for somebody to lead his sleigh. And he goes, rudolph, lead my sleigh tonight or I'll blow you away. And Rudolph says, no, never. You're naughty. Much too naughty. And he shoots Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. But we see it off panel because we want to. We wouldn't want to see reindeer violence. [00:50:07] Speaker B: No, no, no. [00:50:08] Speaker A: Well, it's on panel, technically, but it's inside of a house. The stable. [00:50:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:50:17] Speaker A: So Lobo loads up with all the reindeer with a giant bag on the sleigh. He says, ho ho, fragging ho. All right, you walk in, entrees, Pucker up. We got work to do. And one of them is like, we, We. And the other one says, shh. Tired of living. So Lobo takes off with the giant thing of bombs. And he releases all the bombs to celebrate Christmas. And it says, so it came to pass on a midnight clear, a new star rose in the east. And the naughty learned just what happens to those who threaten the main man's peace of mind. And the nice, well, let's just say they learned young what it means to be innocent victims. Let them rip, Kong. Give those suckers the old seasonal boom. And then we get back to the parents and they're like, incredible. A literary masterpiece. And better. It might just work. Might. Hell, there's no way it can't work. It's a snecking godsend. The kids will be eating out of our hands. Saved. We're saved. Oh, joy. We're saved. Come on, read the last page. Maybe it gets better. Right, Here we go. And then the last page says, the book is good for only one read. Gotcha, sucker. It poops. [00:51:55] Speaker B: No. [00:51:56] Speaker A: And the man says, don't fret, honey. I'll say good night to the kids for you. As he walks upstairs with his gun. And all we get a scene is, blam, blam, blam, Kachik. While everybody's singing Silent night, Holy night. All is calm. So we don't know if kids murdered dad or dad murdered kids, but there was something going on. There's either straight up murder or parasite happening, we're not sure. And we get Lobo on the last page flipping everybody off, saying, merry Christmas, compadres. Ho ho, fraggin ho. Well, Greg, I can't hear your thing, but what did you think of this masterpiece? [00:52:37] Speaker B: Oh, boy. This was a dark comic book for the holiday season, Dan. And if I was going to ask Santa Claus for a new computer, I think you destroyed all those wishes. So now I can't even ask the fat man for one. And I have to ask Lobo, and Lobo will just say no. So there will be no computer for me this year for Christmas because we know the answer is going to be no from Santa because he's dead. And Lobo will tell me to kick rocks. So I don't know why you would do such a thing since you know that I wanted a new computer so badly and so sadly. [00:53:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:13] Speaker B: Oh, listeners, why would Dan do such a thing to me? He knows that I believe in Santa so much and love Santa so much, and he would make me read such a terrible, terrible story about Lobo killing Santa Claus. [00:53:28] Speaker A: I think one of the. The things when I read this book is like, how did it get published? [00:53:35] Speaker B: It's that. That's a great question. Because this is a. This is a doozy of a story. [00:53:44] Speaker A: Could get whatever he wanted at that time from dc. [00:53:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And the DC would publish a story like, hey, we got this idea. One, we're gonna have some parents, they're gonna like, they want to kill their kids or their kids are gonna kill them. We don't know. It's set at Christmas time. I know it sounds crazy. And oh yeah, it's a Lobo book. And he's gonna kill Santa because the Easter bunny has paid him off to do so. It's bonkers. Legit crazy pants. But the kids are. I mean, it's not for kids, but they're gonna love it. They're gonna get their hands on it. It's gonna cost 239 because that's a really great Christmas price. 239? [00:54:28] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, 239. Like I'm thinking, like. So, you know, Lobo had to be a successful book, right? I mean. [00:54:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:41] Speaker A: I mean, otherwise they wouldn't give him this much leeway. Right. [00:54:46] Speaker B: It was dogs in his dolphin that were selling the book. People love the dog and they love the dolphin. [00:54:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so. I mean, you would think to get something like this, right, you would have to be a high selling book, right? Honestly, you'd think, yeah, no, I think so. To get this kind of leeway. Of course. What was the number one selling book of 1991? [00:55:19] Speaker B: The number spawn. [00:55:23] Speaker A: No, Spawn was not out yet. Todd is still doing. [00:55:26] Speaker B: I was like. [00:55:30] Speaker A: So There. Spider Man. Just to give you a reference, Spider man ranked its best. One was spider man number 16. I think that's one of Todd's last two books on the book. Let me see. Or is that his last issue? That's Todd's last issue on the book. [00:55:46] Speaker B: My bad. [00:55:47] Speaker A: That was the crossover. It. I'll give you a hint. The number one book is the group that crossed over with the Spider man title for Spider Man 16. It wasn't that book, but it was the group. They had the number one book. [00:56:10] Speaker B: The group. [00:56:12] Speaker A: Yep. [00:56:13] Speaker B: They're crossed over with Spider man or. [00:56:15] Speaker A: With that Crossed over into the Spider man book. In issue 16 of Spider man, the artist crossed over into Todd McFarlane's book. That's your hint. This is really quite easy. I'll give you another hint. It's probably the book that people. Besides X Men number one, which is also on this list. Volume two, number one. X Men volume two, number one. It is probably the book that people think is their most valuable book in their collection if they're unfamiliar with comic book collecting. [00:57:00] Speaker B: So is it going to be the Avengers crossover? [00:57:07] Speaker A: You're way too late there. [00:57:09] Speaker B: Way too late. Okay. [00:57:12] Speaker A: I'll give you one more hint. These poor characters have no feet. [00:57:20] Speaker B: X Force. [00:57:21] Speaker A: X Force number one. [00:57:25] Speaker B: I was going to say X Force from the beginning, but then I was like. I was like. [00:57:31] Speaker A: You were doubting yourself. [00:57:32] Speaker B: I was doubting myself. [00:57:34] Speaker A: The only DC book in the top 10 is the Tim Drake Robin 2 Joker's Wild. [00:57:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:57:43] Speaker A: For sales in the whole year, by the way. Thank you, Comic Con. Who I back on? Who I back monthly because I appreciate the work they do. I'm on their website right now, comicron.com. the Robin series was ranked up there. Infinity Gauntlet number one was number 42. That should show you how far the rest of of. And Warlock and Infinity Rogers. 41. So that should tell you how far down the rest of Marvel was. DC is nowhere to be found on this list at all. That's how far D.C. had dropped. Except for the Robin books. [00:58:19] Speaker B: Not even a team. [00:58:20] Speaker A: I don't see. I don't see another DC book in the top 100. Oh, but Batman, Gotham Knights at number 100 on the got a couple Robin books. And the rest of these are Spider Man, Uncanny X Men, Spider man, some Ghost Rider. Yeah, More Infinity Gauntlet, New Mutants 87, second printing, which makes sense because they re released the first appearance of Cable. Yeah, there you go. There's 1991. So it just, I guess, you know, and then you're in 92. Oh, let's look there now. Now, see, now you would have been right, because the number two book, number one is Superman number 75, because Superman dead forever. [00:59:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:12] Speaker A: And that's where you get. Spawn, wildcats. [00:59:15] Speaker B: Spawn, wildcats. Let's see. Do we get Savage Dragon. [00:59:21] Speaker A: Oh, my God. The number seven book of 19. Yeah, I'm gonna stop this now. I was looking at 92 too, to see if we saw any lobo. The number seven book of 92. Not that I'm distracted. It's Punisher 29.99. 2099. [00:59:35] Speaker B: How 29. 2099. What was. [00:59:38] Speaker A: Okay, I. Spider Man. 2099 was number four. And this is units sold. Dollars. They have dollars here as well. I could sort by dollars. [00:59:52] Speaker B: Did you. You read some of those books? Yeah, the 2019 later. [00:59:58] Speaker A: Yeah, much later. [01:00:01] Speaker B: You should. You should read some of the other great ones. And you should. And you should. And you should really ask some questions. [01:00:08] Speaker A: Well, the 2099 line. Let's put out a line of books after we've lost our art. Art. All of our artists. Right? [01:00:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:00:15] Speaker A: And then expand our line. Like that seems like a great idea when. When they should have been paring back. Right. And putting their best artists with their best writers on their top books. They launch a whole nother line of books. But comics were hot, man. Everybody was buying everything. [01:00:31] Speaker B: So I think it was because, like, they're like, oh, well, everybody's telling these new, new stories, so we should tell some new, new stories too. And it's like we're gonna do a new, new spin on an old, old thing. And here you go. Here's the old thing you love with a new, new spin. And it felt like you were getting that on, like you were getting it from all sides. You're getting it in the Marvel side. You get out of some DC stuff with some of the, like the. The Batman. The Batman stuff that you got, you know, as well later on. And it was like, it. I. I feel like they did a better job with Batman than they did with any of the 29. 2099 stuff. And some of, you know, like, even in the Legion stuff, too, that they did. L E I O D I. [01:01:26] Speaker A: Well, anyway, Lobo, when I go to 92, Lobo's down in the two hundreds of the top comics. Unfortunately, he wasn't a popular guy. Yeah, well, he was, but for dc. But, like, in the big scheme of comics. No. And I don't have enough data from 91 to give you anything. Unfortunately, like, they just don't they don't have enough on their site. [01:01:48] Speaker B: So I'm gonna tell you what. What really did it, why he wasn't so popular anymore. It's because he killed Santa Claus. [01:01:57] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:01:59] Speaker B: You kill Santa Claus, you lose your popularity. [01:02:01] Speaker A: Man 1 Also, it's kind of amazing when you start to think about this because, like, how DC went down. So Legends of the Dark Knight in 1990 was the top one, two, and three selling books for the year, with the Todd McFarlane, Spider man right below, and then Batman and Batman, then Spider man right below it. That. That's probably thanks to the movie a little bit too, right? [01:02:26] Speaker B: Oh, probably, yeah. [01:02:29] Speaker A: But then, yeah, they fall off quick, and they really only get it sales due to their gimmick stuff. But then 93, because of the collector stuff. 92, it's the Superman death issue and then all the Superman. A whole bunch of. So the soup. So, I mean, as much as this Death of Superman thing is hated, it got D.C. back to the top of sales. Yeah. [01:02:59] Speaker B: Because it got people wanting to find out, like, how. How could this happen? Oh, my gosh. [01:03:06] Speaker A: Of course, it also, you know, three years later, destroyed the comics industry. [01:03:09] Speaker B: So, hey, we don't talk about that a lot here. [01:03:15] Speaker A: We don't talk about Fight Club here. But anyway. [01:03:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:21] Speaker A: But I mean, I think, you know, one of the things with Lobo is it's crazy to me how much leeway they had with Lobo, even though the character. Even though much beloved now. And now. You had the Lobo and Crush stuff a couple years ago, but, you know, I. I mean, they gave Giffen a lot of leeway, hoping something would spark, I guess, and. Yeah, there you go. [01:03:50] Speaker B: So he saw. He is. He's a character that you. You love and love to hate and hate to love and love and love to hate and hate to love. Like a vicious cycle. It's like riding a bicycle with flip flops, you know? You know, it's dangerous, but you do it anyways. You know, you pick up a Lobo book and you read it. [01:04:20] Speaker A: It happens. [01:04:23] Speaker B: While you're eating a Popsicle with, you know, no hands. Wait, I don't. [01:04:31] Speaker A: Well, and just. I mean, Keith Giffin is obviously amazing and had an amazing career, but just talking about how far the stock had fallen, we read another Giffen book, as you recall, the Legion of Substitute Heroes Special. [01:04:48] Speaker B: Correct. [01:04:49] Speaker A: One of your favorites. [01:04:50] Speaker B: Yes, Yes. I liked it. It was fun. [01:04:52] Speaker A: It was a good read. And back in 1985, so seven years or six years before this book, that book was number. Not for the year, but it was number 12 for the month it was released. And Crisis, just to put it in context, crisis number four was out in Secret Wars 2. Number one was out that month, so. And Legion is still in the top. And you know, you're still. But, you know. Anyway, times change, but DC stock had really fallen by that point. It's really interesting. So, you know, letting him do. Letting him go to a playground, being a little bit more edgy. We're also starting to get more Vertigo stuff coming out in the next couple of years. Right. And things like that. So because of their lagging sales, they obviously. They obviously shotgun to Superman and almost destroyed the industry. [01:05:48] Speaker B: But they decided to get. Open up a whole new. Yeah. Open up this whole entire venue for the. You know, even more creativity by having that imprint. [01:06:02] Speaker A: And if. If this, If. If they don't get forced to get experimental by image, by the creators leaving, then we may not have a lot of what we have now, so. [01:06:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you end up getting a lot of really cool stuff coming out of there, filtering back in. [01:06:21] Speaker A: There you go. [01:06:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:06:23] Speaker A: Well, I guess we probably should start wrapping this up. I. I had fun talking about it. [01:06:27] Speaker B: I had a great time. [01:06:28] Speaker A: Yeah. This is a great. [01:06:29] Speaker B: This is a great holiday book, if I don't say so. Not. Not purely. Not because it just left you all warm and fuzzy, but because it had dolphins in it and that. [01:06:40] Speaker A: That was the. [01:06:41] Speaker B: That was everything else dark and depressing. [01:06:49] Speaker A: I decided for next week that we would go down a different path. [01:06:53] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:06:55] Speaker A: Yep. Instead of reading this week, we read Keith Giffin's take on Santa Claus. But next week we get to read Mark Wade's take on Santa Claus. Joining the Justice League of America. [01:07:14] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [01:07:17] Speaker A: Jail is in Hill 16. Yeah. You are the one that asked for holiday books. [01:07:25] Speaker B: I did ask for holiday books. This is my fault, people. I asked for it. You. If you ask, you shall receive. And therefore I have. I got. I got what I asked for. [01:07:37] Speaker A: Well, if you couldn't find Lobo's paramilitary Christmas special in the dollar bins, because we didn't tell you to go find it and just announced it this week and didn't tell you we were reading it until. Cause we didn't decide what we're reading until yesterday, we will tell you for next week. You have time. Go to the dollar bins. In fact. In fact, one place you might be able to find some JLA books if they were put out on the shelves, which they probably aren't, because they're probably Just in the back room, but I bet possibly on the shelves at the Retro Emporium on Meeker street in Kent, Washington, you can find some JLA$, books sitting on their shelves. And if you went in to see Greg and Ann and you were looking for those books, you could probably find one. And while you're there on the what day you can see KRampus? [01:08:32] Speaker B: Oh, on the 13th of December. That would be the. [01:08:36] Speaker A: Never mind. Krampus has already happened and gone. Krampus has left the building. [01:08:42] Speaker B: Yes, he's already Krampused everywhere. [01:08:44] Speaker A: I should have announced Krampus last week. I thought I was doing a good thing. I thought Krampus was the next week. But Krampus is cramped out. [01:08:52] Speaker B: You have Kramped our style. [01:08:55] Speaker A: Krampus was a reason for Lobo to show up at the store. Well, you can still go to the Retro Emporium for many last minute of gifts. You can probably see Greg during the holidays. Additionally, you could pick up as a great holiday gift for adults and kids alike. Absolute zeros. Camp Launchpad. [01:09:15] Speaker B: What? Where? At the Retro Emporium. No way. That's amazing. [01:09:19] Speaker A: You get it the Retro Emporium. You could get [email protected] you could get it at local bookstores around the Kent, Washington area where you're likely to find one signed by Greg. [01:09:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, Barnes and Noble. [01:09:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you could pick that up. You could also follow my new podcast. [01:09:42] Speaker B: What's that? [01:09:43] Speaker A: Well, I don't think anybody's gonna like it here. [01:09:46] Speaker B: What is it? [01:09:47] Speaker A: Well, it's called ABs at 50 and it's not very festive because it involves not eating lots of sweet treats. But is it, is it a real. [01:10:01] Speaker B: Podcast or is it. [01:10:02] Speaker A: It is a real podcast. It is a real podcast. I am on a quest to see my abdominal muscles below the fat on my stomach at 50 years old. I started this quest on my birthday on October 31 and Jiu Jitsu Lawyer Paul. [01:10:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:10:19] Speaker A: Is helping me get there. So Jujitsu and I. Paul. Lawyer Paul and I have released podcast number one. You can find that at Absiftifty. Okay. In any of your podcast locations, including as I was setting up right before this podcast started on YouTube, slash YouTube, music, Apple Podcasts, Podcast addict. Stitch sure doesn't exist anymore. But if it did, it would be there. [01:10:46] Speaker B: Get it there. [01:10:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I was thinking not Stitcher, but that other podcast place. Spotify. Yeah, that Spotify. You can find it there. Yeah, you can find it everywhere. So there's a teaser out you could listen to. That. So if you want to join me on this journey, and if you think I can't do it, that's okay. And you can follow. [01:11:10] Speaker B: I believe in you. [01:11:11] Speaker A: And if you. Honestly, too. We've. We never. We never beg for this. But, you know, if you want to go to YouTube and give us a like or a follow, oh, that'd be cool. And you can do it with the new podcast, too. Or you could just, you know, like it. You could leave a review. We get reviews on Facebook. Like, if you like banter, listen to us. [01:11:34] Speaker B: That's true. People say our banter sounds really fun. And then they're like, wow, you guys sound like really fun guys. And then they see us in real life and they're like, oh, you guys suck. [01:11:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. I mean, that's how we had one listener for so long. Like, people just know how bad we suck. And that's okay. [01:11:53] Speaker B: They're like, wow, you guys are actually pretty fun. Let's go. Let's go eat at this place called Steaks. The Shake, shake, shake. And then Dan's like, I don't want to eat a steak. Steak shake, shake, shake, shake. I went to. [01:12:06] Speaker A: You can't even say it. It's like, fish, fish, fish. I don't want to hear it. [01:12:10] Speaker B: Fish, fish, fish. [01:12:12] Speaker A: Podcast is over. It's done. [01:12:14] Speaker B: This is. [01:12:15] Speaker A: No, we're not rehashing the steak shape. Fish, fish, fish conversation right now. All right, we're done for the day. Happy Holidays. Go see Greg at the Retro Emporium. [01:12:27] Speaker B: Okay? [01:12:28] Speaker A: Don't go to Fish, Fish, Fish, because it doesn't exist anymore because it was so terrible. [01:12:33] Speaker B: It's abs over 50, right? [01:12:36] Speaker A: Abs at 50. [01:12:37] Speaker B: Abs at 50. Is it a video podcast or is it a podcast? Is it. I know, I know. It's. But it's. It's. It's. It's so that you get abs at 50 and then you'll have abs when you are over 50. Correct. [01:12:51] Speaker A: Well, we'll see how long the abs stay, but a lot of it's just about losing body fat and being healthy. [01:12:59] Speaker B: Okay, well, I'm asking questions because I know that listeners probably want to know, are they going to get. Are they going to get eating tips, exercise techniques and things that they can do themselves? [01:13:09] Speaker A: This is. You'll get a little bit about that. But this is mostly following the journey. So following the journey, it could. We. We plan to even talk. We will talk about some sort of tips. We'll dispel some myths. One of the things we'll likely talk about is like that. You know, there's all these things that people talk about. You can change this in your diet, this whatever, but it's really about calories in and calories out. Right. Like, if you work out and you burn 2800 calories a day, but you're trying to lose weight, then you need to eat, like, 18 to 2200 calories, in my case. So it'll be things like that and calculate it out. You also shouldn't crash diet. Like, we're not crash dieting here. We're doing it slowly over time. So these are some of the things we'll talk about, including Paul calling me out in the first episode and saying, yeah, Dan's just doing this for vanity. [01:14:00] Speaker B: Dan is doing it for vanity. So you're getting Danity or vanity, and. [01:14:05] Speaker A: It'S Danity, I think. But I'm doing it for my health. But, yeah, I want to look good, too. I mean, that's a part of it. I want to look and feel good. All right, so. But yeah, so it's probably on the YouTube channel now. On the YouTube channel, I will start releasing some video shorts and things like that. So you can see a little bit of the journey, too. Because this is a journey you probably have to see a little bit. [01:14:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:33] Speaker A: So subscribed at some point, if you want to see me without my shirt on, which I don't know why at this point anybody would, but that might show up there. [01:14:43] Speaker B: Well, you just got it. [01:14:44] Speaker A: You just gotta feel free to go to the comments and completely make fun of me and say I can't do it. That only inspires me to work harder to get it done. [01:14:53] Speaker B: Get it done. Dan, we want to see Abs, Abs, Abs. So you can go to Shake Shake Shake and get you. [01:15:00] Speaker A: No, there's no Shake Shake Shake. You know what? Honestly, though, yeah, I will. I am going to wrap this up as we. I'm sure people are bored already of me advertising for my other podcast, but I had a milkshake the other night and it was fine. Here's the thing. [01:15:15] Speaker B: Protein milkshake or just a regular milkshake? [01:15:17] Speaker A: It was a real milkshake. Yeah, I'm asking, I'm asking. [01:15:20] Speaker B: I'm interested. [01:15:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, no, we. We genuinely. My roommate, Keahi, my. Paul, Jiu Jitsu Paul, at the time of this recording, is coming back from Brazil. So Paul Jiu Jitsu Paul's. So my roommate Kiahi wanted to have hamburgers and shakes. And so I looked at my calories for the day and I had not eaten very much in the day. And so I looked and said, okay, this cheeseburger is going to be this amount of calories, this milkshake is going to be this amount of calories, and these fries are going to be this amount of calories. And I've been using a little scale and you all might think this is crazy, but I weighed out the fries I got to eat, and it was like a 12 ounce milkshake or whatever, and I plugged that in. I'm using a little app called Fat Secret, plugged things in. It's just a calorie counting app and tracks and plugged it in. And I have to be between 18 and 2200 calories a day. And I think for that day, I was at 22:50 and I was fine. So I was happy. I had my shake and it was fine. Now should I have a shake every day? No, that would be stupid, you know? You know, should I drink a. Have a bunch of sugar every day to eat those calories up? No, that, I mean, I shouldn't say that's stupid. You know, eat what you want, right? Like people, eat, eat, be happy. [01:16:41] Speaker B: Right. [01:16:42] Speaker A: But in trying to attain this goal, is that the, Is that the right course? That's probably the dumb course, right? If I was trying to meet the goal. Um, but what you're gonna find, and I probably will throw a couple pictures of some of the things I eat at night, right? You're gonna find. I'm finding some days that eating 2200 calories actually difficult. And if you're not paying attention, it's pretty easy. But I've found, you know, I can shoot a picture. I grabbed a picture of a steak, pineapple and, and rice I had for dinner. Looked really amazing. You would, you would have been very happy with those choices and you would have enjoyed the meal and anybody would have. And so anyway, I don't want to spend. I keep saying I don't want to spend too much time talking about it, but if you want to learn about it. Yeah. Come grab the podcast. We just have one episode out now, but we're going to keep expanding on it. And those are kind of some of the things we'll talk about too. Like you can eat what you want. You just can't eat everything you want. You know, I. But you can eat what you want, right? You just can't eat everything you want. And I think that's kind of the mantra. [01:17:43] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it makes sense. [01:17:45] Speaker A: It's not. And a lot of it's just paying attention. Paul points it out in the first episode. You know, you can easily drink your way to over 20, 200 calories, right? You can easily. I bet one of the things, you know, I used to grab handfuls of that you're aware, is dark chocolate covered almonds from Trader Joe's. [01:18:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:18:05] Speaker A: And you know, a couple of handfuls. [01:18:06] Speaker B: Delicious. [01:18:07] Speaker A: They're delicious. But nuts are very high, have high caloric density and so you just have to, if you're not paying attention, boom, you've eaten 1200 calories in chocolate covered almonds. So that's the kind of things we're thinking about. Paul mentions I can't. I should, I, Dan shouldn't have lots of cashews around the house because I love cashews and they're calorically dense and I'll eat them up. So even some seemingly healthy foods, you know, you could not be paying attention to and just eat a lot of. So, you know, if you get into calorie counting. So I think it's more of getting a goal and paying attention to it, but I'm not depriving myself of anything. I've eaten a whole bunch of foods, including a full Thanksgiving spread. [01:18:51] Speaker B: See, during this, it can be done. Wow. I mean, I think it's a journey that other. I think if the listeners like coming on, are checking, seeing what we do on fundybook Forensics, they'll probably want to go on the journey with you on ABS. So, I mean, on this sneak peek of ABS at 50 on Funny Book Forensics that they just got. [01:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And join us. I mean, you know, we're, we'll do our best to make it entertaining. The first episode's a lot of what are Dan's goals and why are we doing this? But, uh, you'll start to get some of the banter along the way too. And I know coming up, I've, I shot some pictures. I know you all are going to be like, ooh, this super exciting, but we shot video of me carrying sandbags around the Jujitsu Lawyer, Paul's gym, uh, things like that. So just to show you what the journey is about. But it's not all about just carrying sandbags around, but it's a lot about just thinking and being conscious of what you're doing. That's it. [01:19:51] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:19:52] Speaker A: And I want this, so I'm gonna try. [01:19:55] Speaker B: I, I am, I'm 100 supportive of the journey. I will listen to the, I will listen to your journey. I will be there with you on this journey and you know, I. Gosh darn it, Dan, don't make me go on the journey with you. Because now. Now I'm actually like. Well, I'm already doing some of the workout stuff anyways. [01:20:16] Speaker A: Yep, you are. [01:20:17] Speaker B: Just gotta start counting the calories. [01:20:20] Speaker A: I can even show you what little stupid little scale I buy. But I didn't buy it for this. I already had it. [01:20:26] Speaker B: So I got a little scale, too, because I got to measure all the foods for the babas and the dogs. Gosh darn it, dude. [01:20:34] Speaker A: Okay, well, you might as well do this stupid. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Right now you don't have to do the whole thing, but you're going to have to come down to Jiu Jitsu Paul's gym. [01:20:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:49] Speaker A: Stand on the body fat scale. [01:20:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:52] Speaker A: Figure out what it is and. And set a goal for yourself. [01:20:56] Speaker B: Okay. You don't have to do that, the. [01:20:58] Speaker A: Abs at 50, get down to 15% body fat thing, but come down and set a reasonable goal for yourself. That's all. I'm at that. A lot of. I will just say this. Let's end with this on the preview of abs at 50. I'm not saying everybody has to get abs at 50. Right. That's not the goal of this. But I want you to go on this journey with me to see what I do and to see, like, it's going to not be easy all the time. Sometimes it'll be really easy, but I want you to just see what I'm doing and some of the things. Being conscious about your food and your health is pretty easy. That's one thing that is. It's. And sometimes some days it's hard at work. Tomorrow I'm actually not. I'm going to a different office because they're having like an office party and I'm going to skip it. [01:21:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:43] Speaker A: Now, I don't know a lot of these folks, so that's okay. They're bringing. [01:21:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:46] Speaker A: I work for a company. I'm not saying which one. That is bringing people back to the office. That's enough of a hint that you get. But I'm gonna go to a different workplace that. Where I know folks and would be supported throughout the day in my journey as opposed to going up there. I mean, sometimes it's making a choice about the people you're around are around. So I'm not saying, like, it's always easy. Like, oh, yeah, it's easy because they're having like, my favorite thing, like holiday hot drinks, like hot chocolate. And things like that. But, yeah, it's. You can. You can do it. And Greg. Yeah. You should come down. Come down to the Jiu Jitsu Paul's gym. We'll get on the scale and we'll set your own goal for you. Like I said, it doesn't have to be 15%, and you don't even have to share your goal with the listeners unless you want to, but I'll share mine. I started at 29.7, I think, with percent body fat, and we're trying to get to 15. And when I started with Paul training, it was 33% body fat. So, you know, that was a year and a half ago, and we've slowly done the right things, and now I just want to be more conscious about my eating. Okay, Come do it. Why not? [01:22:52] Speaker B: Okay. [01:22:54] Speaker A: There we go. Damn it. Damn volunteered. [01:22:56] Speaker B: I. I know. Well, you've been. You've been trying to get me. You've been. You've been. You've been very supportive in me trying to get. Get healthier, and when I got hurt earlier this year and doing all the exercise stuff that I've been doing, you've been very supportive in that. So might as well. If I got to continue on this path anyways, for what I'm doing on this, I should just continue other stuff, too. [01:23:22] Speaker A: So there you go. Well, on that note, we'll be back on Funny Book Forensics land and not ABS at 50 land next week with JLA number 60, where Santa Claus joins the Justice League. Because that's what Santa Claus should do. After all, Superman delivered all those presents that one year. So Superman, or so Santa should be paying Superman back by carrying some of the weight there. Yeah, that's right. [01:23:49] Speaker B: Santa. Wait, he's alive. [01:23:51] Speaker A: Of course he's alive. [01:23:53] Speaker B: Oh, God. [01:23:53] Speaker A: That wasn't actually Santa, remember? It was a different planet. [01:23:56] Speaker B: Oh. Different Santa, different universe. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Okay, okay, okay. [01:24:00] Speaker A: It wasn't a different universe. It was in outer space. [01:24:04] Speaker B: Space Santa. [01:24:06] Speaker A: Anyway, that's it. We're out. We're done. Bye.