Funny Book Forensics 359 David Lee Roth's Parricide

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:00:04] Speaker B: This is one of those great episodes where you and I were talking, and you're like, yeah, just start recording. [00:00:09] Speaker A: Because I was like, you gotta just save that. You have so much stuff you want to say, and it is. That is podcast material. Dan, you can't. [00:00:17] Speaker B: I don't know that I have so much I want to say. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Oh, but you do. You were saying so much before the show, before we even hit the record button. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Yeah, you had a lot about my great, everlasting joy for this book and everything about it. [00:00:34] Speaker A: It's chock full of characters. It's got so many different things that tie together, so many different things that chocolate. It is chock full. And that's just like the coffee. Or if you keep screws in the leftover coffee cans in the garage, much like my grandpa did, it is very screwy. [00:00:58] Speaker B: I see what you did there. [00:01:00] Speaker A: See what I did there? [00:01:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, folks, we are back on funny book forensics for terror titans number three and four. The book's so good, I demanded that we do two books an episode. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Two books an episode. That is a wild idea, Deanne. I can't believe you would do such a thing to put us through such amazing terror. [00:01:23] Speaker B: Well, you know, these books have a lot of static cling, if you know what I mean, but, um. [00:01:29] Speaker A: Bum. Ah. [00:01:31] Speaker B: Yeah, they just won't. Yeah, they. Once they get to you, they just stay. [00:01:36] Speaker A: They stay. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Man, this clock. This clock thing, I. Yeah, I mean, I guess before we get started, I. I'm really not into the clock king. Managing all of Darkseid's minions who are dressed up in suits like they're on a corporate board. Get enough of that at work. I don't need more of that here. [00:01:55] Speaker A: You don't like the feel. You know, he's running. He's running a business, an institution, if you will. He's got control. [00:02:06] Speaker B: It is holistically realistic that Darkseid's minions would run a corporation so badly that it would get taken over by somebody else just on a whim. Like, I believe that. I believe that most corporations, in fact, have people that are so bad at running them that they could be taken over on a whim. I believe that. Wasn't that what a succession was all about? I mean, that was that whole show. [00:02:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Things happen at a. At a rapid pace all the time. Like that, where you're like, oh, that couldn't happen. No, it did. [00:02:45] Speaker B: And I'm not extra grumpy today because I had a crown put on this morning, and every time I take a sip of water. Like, pain shoots through my mouth. Always good to you. Yeah, it's. I mean, you know, this is fantastic. You know, it's. It's great having a good time. And so let's just say, like, every bad thing in this book is just gonna be amplified today. But before we get into the book. [00:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:10] Speaker B: I should note. [00:03:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:12] Speaker B: That we are on the projectdashner.com website. [00:03:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's why we chose these books, because this pod, this website, is all about something called parasite, which I learned about today. [00:03:35] Speaker A: No, no, it's not. [00:03:39] Speaker B: Yes. In fact, if you go to projectdashnerd.com today, you can learn all about parasite. [00:03:44] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. No, no. Only if you listen to this podcast will you learn about parasite. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Well, we are a featured podcast. The site must be endorsing parasite. [00:03:55] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. Yes, yes. No, no, no. But if you do. [00:04:01] Speaker B: Yeah. If you just reach out to Iggy and the team, and they will give you all sorts of resources on parasite. It's a fantastic site. If you want to deep dive any sort of malicious behaviors in human society, project Dash nerd.com is your source. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, Dan. How many? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. [00:04:26] Speaker B: That's so good. You don't even disagree with me. This week, we'll just move right past that. That's great. [00:04:34] Speaker A: No words. No words. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Okay, well, projectdashner.com, comma, home of funny book forensics and many other fine podcasts that are starting up soon. And when they restart, we will let you know. We might even be on one of them soon. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Press play. [00:04:49] Speaker B: Yeah, that's, uh. If you couldn't get more of us here, you're gonna get more of us there. You're gonna get more. [00:04:55] Speaker A: We're everywhere. All the places that you didn't think you'd find us. We're gonna be there. [00:04:59] Speaker B: We are. We are. All the places. Including summer con on Friday, the something something of June. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Yeah. Then there. [00:05:08] Speaker B: That's Friday the 21 June. I probably should buy those tickets. [00:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah, we should buy those tickets. [00:05:13] Speaker B: If you do that right here, live on the podcast, if you plan on. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Being there, let us know, reach out, and then come find us and get a sticker. And, you know, I always laugh whenever I hear other podcasts. They're like, come find us and get a sticker. And I'm like, yeah, a sticker. That sounds like an awesome thing. And then here I am saying, yeah, come find us and get a sticker. Yeah, that's an awesome thing. But, yeah, you could find us with our funny book, forensic hats, and get. [00:05:42] Speaker B: A sticker, maybe t shirts. [00:05:43] Speaker A: And maybe t shirts. Cause Dan keeps telling me, threatening that he's gonna have a t shirt for me, and it'll say, oh, I have. [00:05:49] Speaker B: A beautiful t shirt I'm making for Greg. It says, I click buttons. [00:05:53] Speaker A: I do. I click the buttons. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So that's. We're working on that. So we are completely working on that. With that said. Oh, it looks like I can buy two tickets right here. That's fantastic. Two tickets to paradise. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Oh, man, that is awesome. It is paradise, cuz, you know, shooter pow, pow, pow, pow. [00:06:21] Speaker B: Is gonna be there, Jim. Shooter will be there. [00:06:23] Speaker A: And. Yeah, we're just gonna. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Dan Juergens is gonna be there, which I would argue is, you know, I shouldn't. I shouldn't rank creators against each other, right? [00:06:34] Speaker A: Against each other. But it's cool, cuz, like, he's a hand lotion guy, you know? So if you go to. [00:06:38] Speaker B: No. Oh, my God. [00:06:41] Speaker A: No. [00:06:41] Speaker B: Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes, like, well, you know, it's okay. He. It's. It's fine. Like, okay, I get para. If I get parasite, you get that? [00:06:53] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. [00:06:54] Speaker B: It seems completely reasonable. [00:06:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Totally reasonable. [00:06:57] Speaker B: So it's. Well, anyway, we should. Speaking of parasite. Yeah. We should get into the terror titans book. I don't even know if parasite. Ha. Well, I guess it does. Yeah. Or does it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's some parasites. There's some parasite going on everywhere. [00:07:12] Speaker A: I think the book starts off with it. I mean, well, I mean, on the COVID father versus. [00:07:16] Speaker B: Well. What is it when you kill your kids? What is it when you kill your kids? What's that called? [00:07:20] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Well, if parasite is when you kill your parents, what's it when you kill your kids? Like, gross. [00:07:32] Speaker A: Gross. [00:07:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:34] Speaker B: I mean, it's all pretty. Not great. [00:07:36] Speaker A: No, it's not good. None of those things are good. Although, anyway, thematically, I mean, talk about it and, like, you know, Oedipus has been around for a long time. It's been around for a long time. [00:07:47] Speaker B: Well, that doesn't. That doesn't make it good or good. [00:07:50] Speaker A: Doesn'T make it good, but, I mean, it's been part of storytelling for a long time. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Well, you know, much more interesting. This book is me ordering our summer con tickets, and they want us to, like. Okay. They want to notify us of special events. I don't know. I guess. Should we do that? [00:08:16] Speaker A: If you want to know about all the other upcoming events, all 15 other Summercon adjacent events that are happening. [00:08:27] Speaker B: Okay, well, I can always tell them not to send it to me, so that's fine. [00:08:31] Speaker A: You'll know all about them. [00:08:33] Speaker B: That's cool. Okay, I'll go ahead and click pay with credit card while we talk about this cover. So. [00:08:38] Speaker A: Okay. If you want to read off all the numbers and then the front and the back for me. [00:08:43] Speaker B: No, I'm not going to do that. Okay. [00:08:46] Speaker A: Darn, I was so close, everybody. So close. [00:08:50] Speaker B: No, I trust Summercon so much that I'm going to use a capital one virtual card even to scramble the numbers and have different numbers on my credit card if you want. But now you know my credit cards with Capital one. So you can go ahead and hack them that information if you really want it. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Oh boy. I thought you're gonna play with pay with bitcoin. [00:09:08] Speaker B: No, I don't have any bitcoin. I used it to buy this house, remember? People think I'm kidding. I'm actually not. [00:09:16] Speaker A: He's not. [00:09:17] Speaker B: No, it's a while. [00:09:19] Speaker A: We live in wild times, people. [00:09:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I did not pay cash for my house. I'm not that. I wasn't rolling in that much bitcoin to be clear. I. But I did use the bitcoin for my down payment on this house, which. Yeah, so there you go. [00:09:37] Speaker A: I will say when you, when you built the bitcoin miners in your, in your previous houses garage, I did give you a tough time because they were so loud and, and I was like, man, this is so loud. I don't know what, like, will this thing ever pay off? This is like. And then all of a sudden, bam, years later, other house, bigger, better, nicer place. And I'm like, holy crap, dude, that's, it's wild. [00:10:04] Speaker B: I bought it the last spike, not this spike. So I bought it the last time it went up and then it went down and I decided probably. But yeah, no, it was a, it was, it was just a, you know, it's just a math problem. You mined x amount and you got y amount and it was at that low price. So even at that, I made more money than I was spending on electricity. And then, you know, I guess some listeners would probably judge me. But since this is a very electric cover, I think it makes sense to talk about it now. I mean, it does. This cover is very like, I feel like bolt and Dreadbolt could have funded my entire mining operation of like the three miners I had. So yeah, it was cool, but yeah, I don't think anybody wants to hear us become bitcoin. Bros, though. So I think we should head back into this. Terror Titans. [00:10:54] Speaker A: It reminds me, the first podcast we ever made. [00:10:59] Speaker B: Wow. [00:11:00] Speaker A: The lost podcast. [00:11:01] Speaker B: Well, you know the lost podcast. We were just comic book bros then. Oh, hey, I can print my tickets. [00:11:09] Speaker A: You could do that later. [00:11:10] Speaker B: This is the jankiest site ever. Wow. That's incredible. [00:11:18] Speaker A: That's a good movie. I like that one. [00:11:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just laughing at the fact. I expected this to be, like some sort of electronic ticket deal, like most tickets. But, no, we can just print these things, get a QR code sent to. [00:11:28] Speaker A: Your phone, and then you just show your phone at the front gate like most places, and then they scan your phone and let you in. [00:11:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I'll go ahead and print these to the funny book forensics folder so we have them. But don't let me forget I did that. I won't. Anyway, as we continue on, do you all notice in this podcast, perhaps I'm in avoidance mode of these comics? So maybe. [00:11:51] Speaker A: I guess we should get into them 15 minutes later. [00:11:55] Speaker B: Yeah, well, important thing right here. Okay. I mentioned the COVID There's lots of the covers, actually. Cool. [00:12:02] Speaker A: It is super cool. [00:12:03] Speaker B: There's lightning everywhere. We've got bolt. Looks like he's gonna murder dread bolt. So if you remember, Bolt is daddy, and dread Bolt is the sun. Terry. Terrence. Terry. Whatever. It looks like we have some people looking on. It looks like King is looking on. I have no idea who that is next to clock King. Honestly, I don't know either. Is that disruptor? [00:12:24] Speaker A: It might be disruptor. [00:12:27] Speaker B: And then we've got cobra, copperhead. [00:12:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, serpentor. [00:12:33] Speaker B: I thought you said it was Serpentor. Sorry, I messed up. Yeah, yeah, destro. [00:12:39] Speaker A: Yes, destro. [00:12:40] Speaker B: Nexus Serpentor. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Which I believe is persuader, but it's a dead ringer for destro. Honestly. And baroness and Ravad. Ravager. Rava. Ravager. [00:12:56] Speaker A: It does look. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Does Baroness only have one eye? I mean, Baroness has two eyes. [00:13:00] Speaker A: Yeah, she has two eyes, but it looks like a GI Joe cover to me. It does. [00:13:04] Speaker B: It does. Or a legion of superheroes. I think it's 302. Lightning lad. Lightning lad is fighting his brother Lightning lord, and there's, like, lightning all over the. It's a big yellowy kind of COVID like this, actually, but bro versus bro. I mean, it's a good cover. Yeah, it's a good cover. [00:13:25] Speaker A: It's pretty solid. [00:13:26] Speaker B: It almost starts to tell us what happens inside the book. [00:13:29] Speaker A: Yeah, we should get right into it. [00:13:32] Speaker B: And then we have an av advertisement for the spirit. [00:13:40] Speaker A: Oh yeah. [00:13:41] Speaker B: Coming soon in theaters December 25. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Nice. [00:13:44] Speaker B: With Samuel Jackson on the COVID Yeah. You know, I've watched the spirit once. It was enough. I honestly don't even remember that Samuel L. Jackson was in the movie. [00:13:56] Speaker A: I don't remember it either. I mean. [00:14:02] Speaker B: Wow. So it must have left on a good impression on. [00:14:06] Speaker A: I don't remember this one. I remember the first one. [00:14:12] Speaker B: Oh, this is the second one. [00:14:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's why I don't think I ever watched the second one. [00:14:18] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean this is, this is the one that came out in like the 2008. I remember the spirit that came out. [00:14:25] Speaker B: The 20 09. [00:14:28] Speaker A: 20 08, 20 00 I remember the, the one that came out in like the nineties. Well, anyway, moving on. [00:14:38] Speaker B: I remember that one. Yeah. I don't remember this one at all. So that's probably why. Was it just memory? Was it just called the spirit again? [00:14:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it was done in a very like. [00:14:55] Speaker B: The shadow way. [00:14:56] Speaker A: Yeah. No, it was, I want to say like it had that comic book esque type feel that they're, they're trying to. [00:15:09] Speaker B: I thought the first didn't. The first one too. [00:15:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess. I don't, I don't. [00:15:16] Speaker B: So it wasn't who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Alec Baldwin chases a nuclear bomb down the stairs. No, but like that. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Yeah. It was kind of like Sin City esque. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Okay. So if somebody would just do a real shadow movie, I would be so happy. [00:15:34] Speaker A: There you go. [00:15:35] Speaker B: Like set it in the twenties or thirties and just do a straight up real who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. That would be so cool. I guess I just got cancelled though by saying that, didn't I? [00:15:48] Speaker A: Maybe so. [00:15:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, anyway. All right, so a brief history of Elise Kimble. You'll remember Elise was the persuader. [00:15:59] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:59] Speaker B: Right. And. Oh, we're jumping right into parasite. I forgot about that. [00:16:05] Speaker A: It just jumps off on parasite. When you get her, intro her quick like history lesson. You. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Yeah. So she's jumping around with her daddy, her dad leaves. This is the history with no words. Her mom yells at her. Her teacher yells at her friend. She murders the teacher. She gets paid by her friend. She's counting the money on her bed and then she murders her mom. [00:16:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:38] Speaker B: Okay. I mean, seems like an extreme overreaction. [00:16:43] Speaker A: You know, though we don't know all the other context of her life, but I'm assuming it's not good. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Well, it does say a brief history of the life of Elise Kimball. We do get a little bit more context in a future. Future issue. But yeah, this is. I mean, like, even when they're trying to give the characters depth, it's still shallow as hell. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:10] Speaker B: Besides just making up a bunch of rando characters for this book and murdering them throughout the book at various times. The. Yeah. Anyway, I mean, I. Yeah, like, I read this. I. Well, read. There's no words on this page. So I looked at this page. I guess there are words. A brief history of the life of Lees Kimball. I'm an idiot. Yeah. And I was. I didn't want to read any more of this book, but I. The show must go on. So I kept reading because I am dedicated as an esteemed member of the comic book media. I continued on for your benefit, our friends out there to let you know what happens in this book so you never, ever, ever have to read it. [00:18:02] Speaker A: See, but you tell them to read these books with us. [00:18:06] Speaker B: I don't think I told them to read these books. [00:18:08] Speaker A: Oh, you did. Last episode. You told them to read along with us. Well, why did I do that? You're recanting now. Don't read these books, people. I made a. I made a judgment error. Please don't read these. You're saying. I mean. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Well, if you want to find out about the introduction of static into the DC Universe, main DC Universe, it's. It's here in this issue. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why. That's why jiu jitsu lawyer Paul Bruderau wanted us to read this. [00:18:38] Speaker B: Well, good news is jujitsu lawyer Paul Baduro, you know, I bought some amazing lunch, these giant korean steamed buns from a place called House of Mandu in Paldo World market on South Tacoma way. If you've never been there, you should go and get these magical things. And I sent jiu jitsu lawyer Paul Boudreau a note that said there was house of Bandu sitting on the kitchen counter. And, you know, I think I'm just gonna have to go down there and take those away and eat them myself. [00:19:07] Speaker A: Because there's no more. [00:19:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:10] Speaker A: For you. [00:19:11] Speaker B: Yes, this is. Oh, wow. All right, so anyway, eat your sadness, Dan. [00:19:16] Speaker A: Eat your sadness. [00:19:17] Speaker B: Yeah, well, also, like, I was rushing home to do this podcast with you and I was trying to drive like, it's like, it was like noon time in the korean district of South Dakoma. So it was Dan and 1000 korean grandmas driving around South Tacoma way. [00:19:36] Speaker A: Uh, very slow. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Very slow. And, uh, very indecisive in the driving, uh, going on around me. Very packed. Yeah, the lane or, uh, maybe choosing Elaine. Not choosing Elaine. There was a lot of dan driving with korean grandmas, which. And that's why I was late. It's fine. I didn't try to rush the korean grandmas. You know, they're out and they're their thing. They're doing their thing. It's shopping day. [00:20:02] Speaker A: Big weekend. [00:20:02] Speaker B: You know, it was, yeah, it was shopping. It was, uh, but it was, yeah, it was a, it was terrifying, to say the least. The good news is, you know, the wreck's only going to be at 20 miles an hour, so if it does happen. Yeah. I mean, but then I'm scared because I'm afraid I'm going to hurt one of the korean grandmas, and I couldn't. I wouldn't. Yeah. So, well, anyway, we are off. The persuader shows back up with the clock king. Remember she was with Terry with dreadbolt last time? And she's like, yep, I dropped him off with his dad. [00:20:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:31] Speaker B: And is there anything else to fear of import? Oh, she wants to see her dad. [00:20:36] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:36] Speaker B: And collecting's like, yeah, you can do that. Okay. And basically says, but you can't be insubordinate anymore. At this point, she should've just chopped his head off with her atomic axe. Now, here's the question. The atomic. So he can see he's like five minutes at five minutes or 5 seconds or not 5 seconds ahead in time. [00:20:58] Speaker A: There's. Yeah, he's got, I can't remember if it's 5 seconds or five minutes, but. [00:21:02] Speaker B: It is, and they're in his time layer. Well, it's not his. It's his home. Right. [00:21:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:08] Speaker B: And. But, like, her atomic axe can cut through anything, right? [00:21:14] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:21:16] Speaker B: So couldn't it cut through time? [00:21:18] Speaker A: Maybe it makes that, I mean, multi dimensional. Yeah. [00:21:24] Speaker B: I mean, just a thought. [00:21:25] Speaker A: It's a thought. [00:21:25] Speaker B: So anyway. Yeah. Anyway, now we've got the. The bolts. The bolts are. Bolt family having a reunion on top of a building. A bolt family reunion. [00:21:36] Speaker A: Oh, how sweet. [00:21:38] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it looks like they grabbed some white claw. Is it white claw? Is that right? [00:21:43] Speaker A: Yeah, white claw. [00:21:44] Speaker B: Yeah, they grabbed some white claw, had a nice father son conversation. They're gonna work it all out. Yeah. [00:21:50] Speaker A: Just hanging out, crushing some cans. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:55] Speaker A: There is no law. [00:21:58] Speaker B: We start reading, and bolt starts basically berating his son and telling him he has no spine and calling him a sissy over and over again in the lamest ass writing ever. [00:22:15] Speaker A: Yeah, it gets boring. [00:22:20] Speaker B: It's like, worse than after school. Special script writing from the eighties. This is terrible. [00:22:25] Speaker A: Why aren't you doing the family business. That's what you should be doing. I told you to do that. [00:22:30] Speaker B: You're a sissy. You're a sissy. You're a sissy. You're a sissy. Yeah. The word sissy appears on this page three fucking times. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:38] Speaker B: And anyway, and then he presumably murders his dad. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:46] Speaker B: Okay, there we go. And we get the title as he's murdering his dad. We get the proud owners of this book. Terror part three. Daddy issues. Sean McKeever, writer. Joe Bennett, pencils, Jack Jadson, inks, Ron Reese, colors, Travis Lanham, letters, Rex Ogle, assistant editor. And Gurling and Cunningham are the editors here. I noticedo did not put his name on this one. Yeah. Wonder why. Well, it's. Yeah, we're here, so we might as well jump in. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Continue. [00:23:25] Speaker B: We get an advertisement for the PSP, and then we continue. More fighting is happening, and it looks like they're gonna get friends, become friends, but then in a turn. [00:23:47] Speaker A: A turn. [00:23:48] Speaker B: Bolt says, as far as I'm concerned, you were stillborn. No, no. And then. Oh, so he's not murdered yet. Okay, he's not. [00:23:59] Speaker A: He's just been. He's been hurt. They hurt each other. [00:24:03] Speaker B: Yeah, and they're. He's. [00:24:04] Speaker A: He's a jerk with bolts and words. [00:24:08] Speaker B: Yeah, he's boltifying things. Well, then we get back to the clock kings lair and all of our hero titans. The. The sea squad titans are all listening to dark side chance. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah, they're rocking out. I mean, they're being brainwashed. [00:24:33] Speaker B: Yeah, they're being brainwashed. Okay. Yeah. All that chaos is order, sacrifices, honor, death is released. Bullshit. Yeah. Okay. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Great king is lord. [00:24:44] Speaker B: And then we meet Bernadeth. Who? Bernadeth, for those of you that don't know, was one of the members of Granny Goodness's female furies, I believe. No lash arena had the lashes. I forget what Bernadette's weapon is at the. At this juncture, but they're the group that would always. That big Barda was a part of, okay? And then they would go after her, so. And if you don't know who Big Barda is, that is Mister Miracle's wife. If you don't know who Mister Miracle is, then I can't help you. Who's Mister Miracle now? Yeah, you know, so I'm not helping you. Okay, so they stand by that. I'm just not helping you. We get a d and d advertisement. I feel like in this book there are more advertisements than there is comic. [00:25:35] Speaker A: They had to pay for the book somehow. [00:25:38] Speaker B: Okay, now we get back to. Now we get back to the Gail Simone honoree character of the book, TNT, where we put a female character in the book just for to have her fingers cut off and then to have men take care of her. So awesome. I'm glad this character was inserted in the book. I mean, we might as well just put over her in a refrigerator and chopped her up. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:26:05] Speaker B: I may be foreshadowing to the future of these books as you keep reading. So I've read all six. Greg has only read four. I sat down. I said to four. I sat down and went ahead and read them because I was like. I was likes, I gotta read them all, otherwise I'm not gonna do it because. Yeah. So I took my punishment all in one sitting. Not all in one situation. Two sittings. I read one through three or one through one. Two and half of three, and then I read the rest. Anyway, now we need Nathan the copperhead. [00:26:39] Speaker A: Copperhead. [00:26:41] Speaker B: Is that like Copperhead road? Because that song is equally offensive. Yeah, yeah, it is down on. Yeah. Well, anyway, I think I just messed. I think I was in my head, like, seven different country songs were going through that. All basically say the same thing. But anyway, they leave Copperhead to look after Tntna as she heals up. [00:27:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:08] Speaker B: And then we flip the page and we've got. Yeah, we did have an advertisement. Yeah. For the PSP again, right? Or. No, that's just the PlayStation. No, that's something else. [00:27:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:23] Speaker B: I don't even know what this is. [00:27:25] Speaker A: Mears edge. [00:27:25] Speaker B: It's a free running game. [00:27:27] Speaker A: It's a. It's. It's not a bad game. It's a. It's. It's a free running, futuristic free running game. Kind of like a pre post cyberpunk. Not really. She's like a free runner who's trying to get away from corporations and using buildings to run across the tops of them to get away from police and other, like, corporate goons and stuff like that. It's a pretty good game. It's. It was too good for its time to say. [00:28:00] Speaker B: Well, we get. We get. We get. We're back at the dark side club and we find Asad is there. If you'll remember, Desaad was the dark side's personal torturer. He shows up and he cackles a lot in the Superpower series, if you're watching super friends, but. And apparently I know if I read. I have read some of the history. I haven't read them all like you have. I don't have the omnibus because I'm not cool like you. Of course, you've never let me your omnibus, but I know dark side. Dark side. Darkseid murders and resurrects Desad often. Yeah. And anyway, basically, like, they find four humans being tortured. You get no indication on who any of these people are. Like, it would have been nice to have little squares in the corner that said who they were because the one in the middle is actually, do you know who the one in the middle is? [00:28:58] Speaker A: I did not. [00:29:00] Speaker B: Well, it turns out that a major hero in the Superman universe would have been hunting her down to find her. Oh, yeah. And shows up at the end of the book. So you know what? I'll save that one for you. Because they didn't bother to tell us who the people are. Now we get some more fighting. You know, this might have actually been interesting to get some action scenes of these fights. Probably more interesting than the plotline of this book. But we find that we get pristine. Remember, we have no idea. This is pristine's only appearance, right? So we don't know who she is. She loses. So we don't know what her powers are or anything. It looks like she has an emerald eye. If it's not emerald, I don't know what's going on. Anyway, Terra wins. Hard rock defeats young Frankenstein and whoever hard Rock is, and the Star Spangled kid who seemingly has been resurrected defeats that Sapphire character. Who. We didn't know who they were, right? [00:29:58] Speaker A: Yes. [00:29:59] Speaker B: I don't think. Did we know who Sapphire was? Was Sapphire a real person? I don't remember. [00:30:03] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:30:05] Speaker B: I mean, I had all those tabs up in last time. If you want, you can go back and listen to episode. [00:30:10] Speaker A: I think you said that Sapphire was just created for this. [00:30:14] Speaker B: Okay? I mean, you're welcome to go back and listen to the last episode if you want the rundown on all these characters out of episode 357. So there we go. And then we get Ravager versus Aquagirl, and Ravager gets mad and stabs aquagirl in the ears with swords. [00:30:35] Speaker A: Yes. [00:30:37] Speaker B: But I do want to note this is not a tournament matchup. You know, this tournament is like a WCW late, late nineties, early two thousands tournament. Like, I have no idea what the brackets are. Did you go back and reconstruct the brackets for me like I asked you to? [00:30:56] Speaker A: I did not. [00:30:57] Speaker B: You had one job. I know, which was to make the brackets for this tournament so I could figure it out. [00:31:04] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [00:31:04] Speaker B: I do a lot of things for the podcast and you can deliver on one small job. [00:31:09] Speaker A: I am so sorry. One small job. I failed. [00:31:14] Speaker B: Well, you're supposed to be making sense out of this. Well, then we turned the page and we found out that the star spangled kid is the only one that can resist dark sides musings. [00:31:24] Speaker A: Oh. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Even though it's not dark side, the dark side clubs, I don't know, whatever's happening. And then, and then ravagers all mad like you brainwashed them. Clock king. Haha. And he's like, you can't come in here, Ravager. Ha ha. [00:31:41] Speaker A: It's off limits. [00:31:43] Speaker B: And he's like, you're asking too many questions. Okay, I am. Then we get another page of them talking them, and we get to find that Ravager. He wants her to lose in the tournament. So. And she's like, because of what I did to aquagirl. And she's like, I didn't come close to killing her. I don't know what her definition of killing is, but if you stab somebody through the ears with swords, that seems like you would come close to killing someone. [00:32:09] Speaker A: Yeah, like, that seemed like pretty, pretty close. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Well, anyway, yeah, anyway, if she wins the next. And then clock King's like, I don't care. You win, you lose. You'll get the information. I'll tell you stuff about what I'm doing here. And she's like, fine. So then we're back around the table with the dark side club executives that are left, and we don't really get told who any of them are, if I remember. Except Bernadeth, right? [00:32:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:44] Speaker B: I feel like one of them shows up in here. Well, anyway, we've got suit guy and strange mask guy and Bernadeth, and they're all talking. And then dreadbolt shows back up and clocking doesn't give a crap about what they have to say. And then we get one of these amazing above the influence ads that I'm trying to figure out. What? So it says, become a burrito taster. Yeah. Start earning now. Why waste the best days of your life going to college when you can train to become a burrito taster? Money, power, and jet packs are just some of the benefits certified burrito tasters enjoy. What the fuck is this? [00:33:38] Speaker A: I don't know. I have no clue. It's like, don't. Don't be a pothead. Don't go to college. Just become a burrito taster. I it's very, it's very misleading. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Whoever wrote these does not understand what is not desirable about going to college. [00:33:56] Speaker A: You can you can do both. You can be a burrito. [00:33:58] Speaker B: I feel like. Yeah, I feel like in college, that's all I could afford was, like, ramen and burritos. So. [00:34:03] Speaker A: Yeah, like, I think my first trip down to the. To lower Columbia, you took me to. Muchas gracias. [00:34:14] Speaker B: I have no idea where I took you on that first trip. So the thing I remember about that first trip is to listening to take that over and over and over again. [00:34:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:27] Speaker A: I ate some good burritos. [00:34:29] Speaker B: Well, there we go. I was probably rolling with my big summer cash money there. [00:34:35] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Let's go get some burritos. [00:34:38] Speaker B: Some big. Some big was. I was working in the office by that point at the college, right? Probably on the big 20 hours a week work study money at that point. I must have been rolling. Yeah. Well, anyway, we flipped a page to find out what happened to his dad, and his dad's about to leave. He's like, please don't go, dad. Please don't go. Please don't go. And then he turns around, and Terry murders him. [00:35:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:06] Speaker B: Slicing him in half. Okay, cool. And then clock, he's like, why didn't you come back sooner? He's like, I needed some time. And then he's like, well, you should have still should have come back. But I've rechristened you, Bolt. Okay, so he's no longer a dreadbolt. He is just now, Bolt. Okay, so parricide number two. [00:35:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:29] Speaker B: What if we had to take a shot every time there was parasite in this book? [00:35:32] Speaker A: Oh, God. It'd be a lot, because, I mean, we've already dealt with it twice, and I'm pretty sure there's another one coming up. [00:35:41] Speaker B: You know, I never thought I would say this out loud. Obviously, I'm glad the comics code authority is gone. [00:35:51] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:35:52] Speaker B: Except when I see this book, because. [00:35:55] Speaker A: There'S a lot going on that it's like, boy, oh, boy. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Well, I don't want the comics code authority to come back. And it's just to be clear. But I read this, and it's like, who was the person reading the script here and thought, man, this is something we should sell to people. [00:36:15] Speaker A: We need more parricide in this book. Let's have, like, half of the characters kill their parents. [00:36:23] Speaker B: And we haven't explained, like, at all, why clock King wants all this done at all. Like, it hasn't been explained. He's just like, I need you to reshape yourself or be more of a killer or something like that. But there's no, like, this guy, this guy is just sending children off to murder their parents or hiring or picking children that didn't murder their parents to join his team. Yeah, I. Well, anyway, okay, so now we're back at the dark side club, and Rose is about to face the person that he wants her to lose to, the former champion. I guess I breezed over that. I should have said that. The former champion. There was discussion in the dark side club. People of. They couldn't control the former champion. That's what they were talking about. And now we get a whole big announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, everyone else, welcome to the dark side club. We have got an epic showdown for you tonight. Breaking from the tournament for this special one time mega bout is our newest crowd favorite, three time winner, Ravager. And she'll be facing down the one meta no one thought they'd see again. The reigning dark side club champion. Here he comes, still undefeated and ready for the brand of carnage and mayhem you all love so much. This is it, folks. The one throwdown you'd kill yourself for missing. It's the ruthless Ravager versus a shocking static. [00:37:49] Speaker A: Oh. [00:37:52] Speaker B: We get a very angry looking static. And we get the, the clever title. Next issue, shock to the system. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:38:03] Speaker B: Okay. We get an ad for the army. I'm sure the army was very proud of putting their ads on this because they are all about the same things we read in this book. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Finding young people that have issues to build them up. Just like the clock king. [00:38:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow, that got dark fast. [00:38:32] Speaker A: I know. [00:38:33] Speaker B: With an ad for the dark knight on the back, too. [00:38:36] Speaker A: Good movie. Saw my wedding night while I was. [00:38:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, these, those. Those were good movies. Except the bain. Is that. That's not the bane one? Yeah. What was the Bane 1 second one? Yeah, that's, uh. Yeah, those. Those, for the most part, were good movies. They're much better than whatever the what? So I didn't know that. I didn't know that the new Batman was a vampire. So. [00:39:09] Speaker A: What was that? Did she make a noise? [00:39:12] Speaker B: No, I'm just. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. I've got a sleepy dog back here. I don't know. I don't know what's happening at this moment. This is bad. I just thought about how terrible that last Batman movie was, and then my thought was, if it was, like the vampire DC universe, it might have been better. [00:39:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, if it was a vampire Batman. [00:39:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:38] Speaker B: Yeah, that could be better. [00:39:40] Speaker A: That could be good. I could be down with that. [00:39:43] Speaker B: I mean, it would have been better than whatever that movie was. I can't believe they made a second one. [00:39:47] Speaker A: I liked this. I liked it. [00:39:50] Speaker B: You keep saying you like things. Can you explain why you liked it? [00:39:54] Speaker A: I've said it before. I needed something to watch on the 4 July that was long and could drown out the noise of the fireworks with my surround sound system, keep the dogs at bay. And I just cranked it up and gave the dogs their anti anxiety medicine, and it kept everything. I'd say the dogs were entertained. Oh, see, the sleeping dog. It kept the dogs from paying attention to the outside world for those, what, 3 hours. And I watched a movie, and I thought there was some good stuff in it, some interesting stuff in it, some stuff that I was. I can't wait till the second one comes out so I can understand some of the first stuff. [00:40:48] Speaker B: So I love it when you have to watch the second movie to understand things that happened in the first movie. [00:40:54] Speaker A: I mean, because they left certain things untold for you so that you would, you would come back to, to that other movie. And that's why. That's why I'm excited, dan, that. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Well, they just done it as a series then, you know, that have been. [00:41:08] Speaker A: That. That is what they did. They did it as a series, Dan. [00:41:12] Speaker B: No, I meant like a show. [00:41:13] Speaker A: Oh, as a show as well. I'm. They could have, but I mean, you know, that would be, like, you would have to be dedicated to, like, watching hour long episodes for days on end and. Wait a minute. The movie's 3 hours. The next movie's gonna be 3 hours. That's 6 hours. Oh, my gosh. You're right. They could have just done it as a show. Okay, I get you. That's a whole series. [00:41:39] Speaker B: The important thing. Yeah, the important thing here is that. The important thing here is that you, we were so excited about that fight and so held in such suspense that we started talking about something completely different. [00:41:55] Speaker A: But we're here to meet static now. [00:41:59] Speaker B: In the next, we are at Terra Titans. Well, no, we're not meeting static. We read some milestone comics back in the day. [00:42:08] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:42:10] Speaker B: And saw the cartoon with static in it. Yeah, but for some reason, these guys are meeting static. [00:42:17] Speaker A: They've never met static. This is their first time to be. [00:42:22] Speaker B: Well, the good news then, if this is your first time hearing about static or reading about static in a comic book, man, the best way to introduce a character that had a bunch of popularity on the tv show is to have him mind washed and fighting for an underground dark side fight club against people. [00:42:40] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. That is actually perfect. It's a good way to do it. [00:42:44] Speaker B: Not in his own book or not highlighted in the book at all, or not being superheroic in any way, but being captured and defeated like he's jobber number three in the third match. [00:43:02] Speaker A: He really is jobber number three in the third match. [00:43:04] Speaker B: Wow. [00:43:05] Speaker A: And Rose is being told to take a fall. So it's a reverse. Right. So she's being told to take a fall so the jobber can get the belt. [00:43:14] Speaker B: Oh, it's just like that one time when Barry Horowitz won. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't he beat. He beat skip right of the body. Donnas, you don't remember this? Skip, who is Chris Candino? Chris Candido much? And the gimmick that drove Chris Cadido back to ECW from WWF at the time. Of course. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the things that my brain remembers. Imagine if I just filled my brain full of important things that could help the world. [00:43:48] Speaker A: But you don't. [00:43:49] Speaker B: No. [00:43:50] Speaker A: It's like me watching jeopardy and answering questions, and Ann's like, I'm very surprised that you can answer 60% of the questions in jeopardy. And I'm like, me, too. Me, too. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Well, the good news is we have another lightning cover back to back, except we have white lightning instead of yellow lightning this time. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Whoa. It's a pretty cool cover, too. [00:44:16] Speaker B: I like this cover. Yeah, the covers are great. I mean, you know, I. I don't have too much of an issue with Joe Bennett's art. I wish it was being used on a much better book somewhere. And honestly, you know, this. It sucks because this is the type of book, right, like, that kills somebody's career, potentially with a. With a publisher, because, you know, now every time you're looking at, you know, they're looking at Joe Bennett, while their examples are this book. Right. Or they're going back to think about a failure of a book, and they're not going to go back to that artist again. [00:44:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:53] Speaker B: So Greg and his fan are back. That's good. [00:44:57] Speaker A: I replaced the fan, and the fan is doing its thing. I can't help it. [00:45:02] Speaker B: So anyway, well, importantly, we flip the page and we get a brief history of Nathan Price. Hey, who is born. He apparently kills his baby brother. [00:45:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:21] Speaker B: I know he's not born. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I think the brother's born. [00:45:24] Speaker B: He sees the brother, kills the brother, murders him. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Murders the parents. [00:45:29] Speaker B: No, he doesn't murder the parents. [00:45:30] Speaker A: He doesn't murder the parents. [00:45:31] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:45:32] Speaker A: He scares. [00:45:34] Speaker B: No parasite here. It's it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. No, this is the guy. Remember, we found out the origin last time. Oh, yeah. Is gay, potentially. And then murders, like, other gay people. [00:45:48] Speaker A: I gotcha. [00:45:50] Speaker B: Cause he becomes a male prostitute and then apparently murders the johns. Yeah. And runs away from home instead of murdering his parents. So at least he's made, theoretically, better choices. I'm not sure why he killed his baby brother. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Uh, because he didn't want to not be the baby anymore. [00:46:17] Speaker B: I don't know. They don't know. Yeah. But then he leaves, so I don't. I don't know. I. Like, again, this doesn't. [00:46:25] Speaker A: It doesn't. It. It doesn't give you all the story. It just kind of gives you a little and makes you have to. I got a whole bunch of other stuff out of it, so. And what I. What you're. What you're saying makes more sense than what I got. So I was like, he killed his parents. Oh, my God. [00:46:42] Speaker B: You know, but so, yeah, well, anyway, yeah, we turned the page, and Ravager and static are fighting while the terror titans look on. And we get, again, cool art. I mean, I'd like a little bit more detail, maybe in some of the background character, like that upper, upper right characters. Right. There's just not a lot of detail there. They just kind of seem mushy. [00:47:14] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:47:15] Speaker B: The upper left look great. [00:47:17] Speaker A: Looks great. [00:47:17] Speaker B: I'd like the upper right to look like the upper left. But anyway, yeah. Especially since they're all standing in the same order. But anyway, at least that details hit right. And. Yeah, like, we get. Terror titans part four, shock and awe, brought to you by Sean McKeever with pride, Joe Bennett. Jack Jadson. Ron Reese on Colors, Travis Lanham on letters, Rex Ogle, assistant editor and Gurlain. And Dan Didio is back as a named editor on this book, so he took one off. Maybe if Dan Didio is the editor, then no parricide happens in the book. So it's parricide free if Dan Didio is the editor, but it's Paris with parricide. Dan DiDio editing, not editing parricide. Dan DiDio editing, no parricide. So he can not worry about that. So I don't remember if there's parasite in this one, but if there is, I think there might be. I can't remember if it's the next issue or not. So we'll have to watch. [00:48:22] Speaker A: I think there might be. There might be. [00:48:24] Speaker B: We'll have to watch for some more parasite. Well, yeah, is it parasite if you murder a step or not a step? Is it parasite if you murder a foster parent or an adoptive parent? [00:48:35] Speaker A: Probably. [00:48:37] Speaker B: I mean. Okay, well, anyway, we get listeners. [00:48:41] Speaker A: Ravager find out. [00:48:43] Speaker B: Yeah, you can. You can go ahead and research that for us. I'm gonna save my time on that one. We get the announcer going through the fight. We've got a bunch of things happening. We've got disruptor talking more shit about how she could beat people up and the boss man. And apparently she's jealous because she was the favorite of clock king. Yeah, before Ravager came along. Okay, and we'll get some more on that, too. Uh, what agility, folks. Uh, anyway, ravagers looking like she's gonna win. And then she gets zapped. Look at that. And Static's going, kill, kill. [00:49:32] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:49:34] Speaker B: As he goes to zap her. And then, then he pauses after he zaps her and is like, you can't control me. What? Hey, well, he says, I swear I told you morons. And then they zap him with. Or they shoot him with a bunch of tranq darts. Yeah, like six of them. I mean, that really can't be good. [00:49:52] Speaker A: No. [00:49:56] Speaker B: And anyway, and somebody in the background is like, don't ever bet against the clock king. So Rose took the dive against static, though I don't know if she could have beaten static anyway. But he also wasn't is being mind controlled. So static wouldn't have been fighting to begin with. So it's a quite, quite the conundrum here. I'm not sure. Well, anyway, we get back, and the poor Star Spangled kid, they're trying all sorts of different drug cocktails on them, and none of them's working. The persuader comes back to clock King and is like, hey, I still want to see my dad. [00:50:33] Speaker A: Where's my dad? [00:50:35] Speaker B: And he's like, fine, you get to see your dad. She's like, thank you. And so Rose comes storming in, and she's like, you manipulative son of a bitch. You've tried. And you have me killed again. Again. And he's like, no, I didn't. And he uses one of his little clock trick things, and he freezes time. And they have a conversation. And then she's like, I'm out of the tournament like you wanted. Okay, now, if we go back to the last issue, she won her tournament match against Aquagirl, correct? [00:51:24] Speaker A: Yeah, correct. [00:51:25] Speaker B: But then they announced, as I was reading the big announcer voice, that the static fight was not a tournament match. But now she's out of the tournament. [00:51:41] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:51:42] Speaker B: This is why I needed you to make a bracket for me. [00:51:46] Speaker A: Well, if she's removed from the tournament, then it wouldn't have mattered if she was in the bracket or not because clock King removes her from the tournament. He's the boss man. [00:51:56] Speaker B: So it is like a WCW 2000 tournament. [00:52:00] Speaker A: He can take her out if he wants to. [00:52:02] Speaker B: Okay, well, anyway, you know, I feel like we went to some debate tournaments like that, too, where the person running the tournament just decided who they thought should win. [00:52:12] Speaker A: You know what? We. We think we're gonna power match and unpower match and then we're just gonna give you a buy so it doesn't count. And then we're just going to remove you from the tournament because you don't have enough speaker points because you didn't have a. Didn't have a round, so you didn't actually. [00:52:27] Speaker B: You can't break and you're supposed to average those things. [00:52:31] Speaker A: You know what, though? We don't. We're not going to average it because we just. We don't. We don't have the capabilities to do so in the tavern. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Okay, well, they're pretty dumb then. So, anyway, we should. I wasn't running that tournament, so it's. Anyway, we get, we get Ravager puffs on her adrenaline and kisses the clock king and knees him in the balls and he's really turned on, which is also gross. [00:53:00] Speaker A: Some people pay good money for that. You're like, what? [00:53:09] Speaker B: That may be true. I was trying to figure out how to answer that without offending anyone, but this borders on pedophilia. So, like, that's. [00:53:19] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, it's kind of. That is. That is hella gross. And when you put it into that context, it's like. [00:53:27] Speaker B: And speaking of, I forget, like, you. [00:53:30] Speaker A: You forget, like, as you're reading along and everything like that, you forget that there's like this massive, like, she is. She is it. She's. She's a teenager. That is. That is. That is true. [00:53:43] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, while presumably, like, for dreadbolt and for disruptor and some of the other, I could presumably they're older, but Rose was always. Anyway. Predicted as the youngest daughter. Yeah. Anyway, well, this whole thing. I mean, they're not teen titans right at this point. And that's why I, like, they changed it to titans eventually, you know, just so we could live in the world. [00:54:14] Speaker A: Live in the world. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:16] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, you gotta think clock King's a. He's a. He's a gross dude. He's a gross dude. [00:54:23] Speaker B: While disruptor comes in dressed in. Talk about uncomfortable. Yeah. [00:54:32] Speaker A: The next couple pages are uncomfortable. [00:54:37] Speaker B: Well, disruptor comes in to seduce Dreadbolt, who's drinking, and then she starts drinking, and then she starts talking about how she should be called angel, and then Dreadbolt keeps drinking with her, and then they go to kiss each other and stuff. [00:54:53] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:54:55] Speaker B: And. Okay, and he's talking about killing his dad. Yeah, and, yeah, that's. Yeah, I mean, fantastic. These plot, these, these plots just keep on giving these subplots and plots just keep on giving every page. [00:55:14] Speaker A: Like, as you start to unpack the story itself, you're like, this. This whole, the whole story itself is. Is kind of. Kind of gross. [00:55:28] Speaker B: Yeah, well, and she's like, I've been in so many foster homes, I can't know what it's like to murder my own dad. Foreshadow. Foreshadowing. Anyway, we get to the next page, and it just. We now we get back to Copperhead and tntna, and she is thanking Nathan copperhead for helping her bring her, her back. She's so excited. And then we get to the next page, and now we have dreadbolt and TNT have ported to a beach. [00:56:05] Speaker A: It's not tnt in Brazil. [00:56:06] Speaker B: I mean, not Tiantina. Sorry. Disruptor have ported to a beach. And they're about to have sex, and she starts talking about how somebody needs to plan to kill clock king and, like, dread bolt. Bolt. Sorry. Dread bolt. [00:56:29] Speaker A: Bolt. [00:56:29] Speaker B: Harry. Whatever. Pushes her away. And it's like, I see what you're doing. You're trying to manipulate me because you couldn't have your, you couldn't have the clocking. Now you want me to kill him and stuff. And she's like, you disgust me. And she comes with her top unbuttoned, swinging at him, and he's like, I'm not a snitch. Besides, nothing's happened here that's worth telling anyone about. And. Yeah. What? [00:56:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:04] Speaker B: Um, it's just, I don't. [00:57:08] Speaker A: It's all sorts of messed up. They. They fight. It's messed up. [00:57:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, okay, so that plotline definitely needed to be there. [00:57:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:22] Speaker B: So now we get to round three, and Aquagirl is fighting. Hey, she's not dead, but she just lost her last round. So how is she fighting? [00:57:34] Speaker A: You know, by. They had to bring her back in. [00:57:38] Speaker B: So lose, you get to come back. Well, she's fighting Tara, and Tara wins anyway, so. Okay. And then the starred spangled kid is fighting hard rock. It's hard rock. Yeah. Who, presumably based on body shape and size, should have an easy win here against the human star spangled kid. But the star spangled kid grabs a heavy rock and hits him in the head with a rock and presumably murders him. But then they tell us he's gonna feel that in the morning. If I did have a complaint about the art. Sometimes the art doesn't match the. What's going on in the pages all the time. Like, when there's a gush on the top of somebody's head and blood coming out of their nose, I'm gonna assume that they're dead. [00:58:32] Speaker A: Yeah, that makes sense. Or somebody gets stabbed in the head. You would think they're dead, but then they're alive. Yeah. [00:58:40] Speaker B: So we turn the page, and the persuader. Elise is sitting down, and her dad comes in. They have this very touching conversation for two pages about why he left and her mom telling about her mom being abusive and threatening to call the authorities on him and all of these things. And he's like, I never stopped loving you. And then the clock king murders him on the next page. [00:59:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:10] Speaker B: Okay. [00:59:12] Speaker A: Because, you know, he needs. He needs to persuade her to. He needed to persuade the persuader, I guess. [00:59:20] Speaker B: I mean, this. I don't know, this coercion, not persuasion, but anyway, it's. Yeah, all right. And then the clocking just starts going off and says, you're going to be my soldier. It has to be without compromise. I don't know what the fuck's happening right here. I don't know the logic. I don't know how any of this gets people to be his soldiers. He's like, you must not be soft. And it shows disruptor and bolt. Who I. You must not cling to childish notions like love and hope. And he shows copperhead overlooking Tntna. It's my charge to rid you of such failings. And now we have rose puffing on her adrenaline. He's like, you hate me right now with your soul, that's fine, but don't let it reduce you. Don't let it consume you. Instead, flip page. Allow it to set you free. What the fuck? And now we're back to the dark side. Things. Chaos is Aurora. Sacrifice is honor. So he's trying to replace Darkseid, apparently. The clock king. [01:00:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:22] Speaker B: Okay. And then we get burned to death. Is still programming Star Spangled Kid and Star spangled with Kid Spez. Clock King is Lord. And he's like, good. It means the time. It's time to begin. Okay. Time to begin what I guess you'll. [01:00:40] Speaker A: Find out when terror strikes. [01:00:42] Speaker B: Oh, God, I can't wait. Next in terror titans number five, a winner is declared, and clock King's end goal is revealed. Fucking fantastic. [01:01:00] Speaker A: You're so excited. [01:01:03] Speaker B: You know, this comic book is really bad. [01:01:10] Speaker A: It is not your favorite. [01:01:12] Speaker B: This comic book is worse than us. Won high adventure trucking. [01:01:19] Speaker A: Oh, man. I. You know, I'm gonna say during the first two issues, I was. I was. I had that, like, hope that it was gonna. Gonna evolve into something that was, like, good. And then I read these two issues, and I was like, wow. It devolved into something that is. It is. It's really gross. [01:01:45] Speaker B: Yeah. And it is disgusting. [01:01:49] Speaker A: I'm gonna. I'm with you in this. It's a painful. It's a painful read in this. In the sense that it's. The art is great. The story is. Is very hard to. To accept because there's so many things that it's like, okay, cool. If you had one parental side parentheside and. And maybe some more parasite and you had more depth per character or just more understanding of things, more development with some of these. Some of these characters. I know some of them are, I'm gonna say, throwaway characters, you know, brought in for this event, but it really feels like a lot of it is just hurried along, and it's in for that reason. It makes it very hard. Oh, boy. Thank you for that. It makes it very hard. I will get there when I get there. It makes it very hard to want to enjoy the book itself for the things that does have merit. Like I said, the art and other. [01:03:13] Speaker B: Things like that when there's no desirable characters to read route for. I mean, Rose isn't really. You don't know what Rose is doing except she's, I guess, infiltrating the group, I guess. But you don't know. I can also tell you that if you're reading teen titans, Rose just left in a huff, basically, and went off to do her own thing. [01:03:32] Speaker A: So maybe. [01:03:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Which is this maybe, and so, like. But you don't have any, like, redeeming. Like, we don't know why we're rooting for her in particular. We don't know. We're not rooting for any of the terror Titans. [01:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And. And for any of the metas that are trapped. It's like you want them to be freed, but you don't. There's not a whole lot for you to grasp. [01:03:59] Speaker B: There's nothing to latch on to you. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing to latch on to you because they're just all trapped. Right? [01:04:03] Speaker A: Mm hmm. So. And it's like, for everybody else, it's just like, it's a. It's very easy to dislike everybody in the book. [01:04:12] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's just. It's bad. [01:04:14] Speaker A: So unless, I mean, it's a great book if you like bad. If you like bad guys or, you know, like the. If you like the bad guys, I. [01:04:24] Speaker B: Would even say that these are not good bad guy contracts. [01:04:27] Speaker A: Yeah. No. You don't think so? You don't think it's. [01:04:29] Speaker B: No, no, I don't like. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So there are psychopaths in the world. World, but every one of them is okay. And if they are, why aren't they doing more like murdering of each other? Like, I don't know. [01:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Instead of being in a gigantic fight club, they could be. They could be out there causing mayhem and doing other stuff as a. As a rogue gallery creating chaos out there. Unless that's what clock Kings end goal is, to, like, pit them against all these. These NCP NPC's that he's created and then get them to, you know, level up, if you will, and then go out there and then become agents of chaos. But we're still. We're still very far removed from that. And I don't see this going into a further storyline after issue six, so. [01:05:28] Speaker B: Yeah, well, and this new version of the Clock King, clock King number two, he's gonna really make it past this series because he had eleven total appearances in DC Comics. [01:05:45] Speaker A: Okay. [01:05:48] Speaker B: And the 11th appearance was terror Titans volume one number six. [01:05:56] Speaker A: So very, very, very long, long standing character. [01:06:05] Speaker B: I guess the point is, if they did plan to do something with him, which they presumably are. Right. And make him a somewhat powerful villain. Right. This series killed that. [01:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Probably because it's not. Not that great. [01:06:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, so, I mean, that's the thing. There's also some teen Titans books going on at the same time. Talking about the dark side club that we could be reading in line with this. Yeah, they're probably ten times better. No? Yeah, but you get the other side of it if you're reading that. So, like, here's a synopsis of one of the issues for you. Looking at this, we've got kid Devil was fighting hard rock at the dark side club, which I don't even remember that happening, but abandoned the fight as he was winning due to miss Martian using her telepathy to convince him to do so. Elsewhere, Wonder girl and Ravager fought persuader and disruptor before the two Teen Titans and Blue Beetle joined Robin in fighting clock king, Kid Devil was thrown into a cell with Miss Martian and was brainwashed and a brainwashed fever, who's already dead in this book. So this was, I guess, all happening, leading into terror titans, and Rose left with a device to port her away. Yeah, I mean, there's just a lot of awfulness going on, and as you go through, like, even looking at what was going on in the Teen Titans books, there just wasn't a lot going on here that makes this desirable. And then all of a sudden, you get to a next issue and they're off the dark side club storyline. So you get a couple of dark side club storylines also, I think, in amazing. Also going on in the Teen Titans at the time because 63, I think, is the one. No, it's not 63. It's 64. Nope, it's not 60. I'm gonna keep going all these issues going on around this time. So there was a couple leading issues to the dark side club thing before the series because it launches you off over here at the end of this series. Good God. Get faces of evil, copperhead. I can't find it, actually. I thought it was 60. Anyway, there's a cover with static on it so much. But as we go back through these Teen Titans issues, there's such amazing things happening in Teen Titans at the time. For example, we get the introduction of Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog into the Teen Titans universe. I know everybody was dying for that. I know you were just. You couldn't wait, right? [01:08:59] Speaker A: I couldn't wait. [01:09:03] Speaker B: So, yeah, I mean. I mean, wow. Just, yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, what's amazing is I do have number six right in front of me, so I could look up and see which Titans issue comes after it. But, yeah, yeah, I mean, this is, again, I think I told you this run of Teen Titans got me off the book. [01:09:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:31] Speaker B: For a long time. It's like, before issue 69 finally is where. So they start with this tear, this. This thing in issue 59. So it's a ten issue run, but it's not all in Teen Titans. Right. Like, they spin off and do this six issue story. So we're dealing with this whole storyline for about a year. [01:09:52] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [01:09:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Which, again, is a good way to get me not to want to read. [01:10:01] Speaker A: This book because you're like, I can't do this. [01:10:07] Speaker B: And seriously, Wendy Marvin and Wonder dog. What the fuck. [01:10:13] Speaker A: Boy? [01:10:15] Speaker B: Um, and apparently that's not their first issue, but they're right on the COVID there. [01:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah, that's some people like that, man. [01:10:23] Speaker B: Wendy, Marvin and Wonder dog. Yeah, dude, nobody liked that. That's why you got Zan and Jaina. [01:10:29] Speaker A: Oh, well, I mean, I don't know. I'm just saying, some people, like, literally. [01:10:35] Speaker B: No, no one liked Wendy, Marvin and Wonder dog. No one. No one. [01:10:42] Speaker A: I mean, it looks cute. [01:10:45] Speaker B: That's the new version. Yeah, it looked, but, yeah. Anyway, nobody liked Wendy, Marvin and Wonder dog. That's why you end up with Zan, Jaina and Gleek. And nobody liked them either, so. That's not true. I liked the Wonder twins. I did. I liked the wonder twins as a kid, but I did not like Wendy, Marvin and Wonder dog. [01:11:03] Speaker A: Well, if you're. [01:11:04] Speaker B: And when we were kids and when they were kids, I didn't know they came first. Right. [01:11:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:09] Speaker B: Until later. Right. But, yeah, I was just like, who are these people? [01:11:14] Speaker A: And they have these cool powers. [01:11:17] Speaker B: I mean, I always thought, like, that it was gross that Jan became ice cubes and went in their lemonade. That's gross. [01:11:29] Speaker A: Gotta keep that lemonade. [01:11:30] Speaker B: I thought that was gross. Yeah. But anyway, we should probably wrap this bad thing up. [01:11:36] Speaker A: Wrap it up. [01:11:37] Speaker B: What do you got to. What do you got to plug? I know when this is released, you should have a live Kickstarter. [01:11:43] Speaker A: Live Kickstarter for Starlight. So check it out. Check out Starlight issue seven. [01:11:50] Speaker B: Yeah. And you could. You can also go to overcast. I'll have to get the whole. I've got it pasted somewhere. But you can go back and buy single back issues, or you can back the Kickstarter and get all the issues as well. So. [01:12:01] Speaker A: Get them all. [01:12:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean by it, it's a good book. You heard us analyze it, so it's a. If you heard us analyze that episode and you liked what you were hearing, well, get more. [01:12:13] Speaker A: Get more. [01:12:15] Speaker B: And. Yeah, I mean, that's it. You'll see us at Summercon on Friday the 20 something. But you're gonna have to walk around and walk up to us Friday the 21 June. But you're gonna have to walk around and walk up to us and greet us. Because when I'm at a con, I don't greet anyone. So you can greet Greg and unless I'm behind a table, but when I'm out walking around in public, I'm gonna be all scaredy cat. So come up and be nice to us and I'll give you a sticker. [01:12:41] Speaker A: He'll be looking at stuff and checking things out just like a. Just like a normal. [01:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah, mom. Yeah. I don't think there's anything normal there, but, yeah, we'll roll with that. That's a good explanation. [01:12:52] Speaker A: We'll just be like normal people like you out there in podcast land will just be out there just like you at the convention looking at Congress. [01:13:01] Speaker B: And of course, you can find, you can find Greg at the retro Emporium on Meeker street in Kent, Washington. And despite his best efforts to hide after these podcasts, you can find jiu jitsu lawyer Paul Boudreau at certified martial arts on Bridgeport Way and 27th in Tacoma, Washington. So if you want some good training, I would go hang out with Paul and get some good jujitsu training. Otherwise, I think that's it. That's our. We just, we plugged our fake sponsors. We even talked about the podcast network. We're on that great project Dash nerd.com, home of articles and resources on parasite. [01:13:43] Speaker A: No. [01:13:46] Speaker B: No. So go check them out and you can find out more. So with that, we should probably wrap this up. So this was another fantastic episode, us taking the hit for you of funny book forensics. Bye now. [01:14:05] Speaker A: The button. Oh, God. Exciting.