Funny Book Forensics 351 The Legion of Losers

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, there we go. We've clicked. The recording is happening. [00:00:05] Speaker B: It is. Welcome to Funny book forensics. I'm Dan, and that's great. And we are now official. You don't have a voice. I don't have a voice. We are on. [00:00:14] Speaker A: Are you? [00:00:15] Speaker B: No. [00:00:15] Speaker A: Dan, you're so rude. [00:00:18] Speaker B: I've taken your voice. You're rude. Well, I've taken your voice because we are officially on the project Dash nerd.com podcast network. When this is recording. Yeah. Which will mean it's, like, a day or so before you get it, because. Just depends on how fast I decide to edit this one, what my mood is tonight. [00:00:44] Speaker A: Oh, boy. It's not gonna happen today. [00:00:47] Speaker B: Well, you know, it could. I mean, it's. It's possible. Unlikely, but. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Unlikely. [00:00:56] Speaker B: It's unlikely, but it's. It's happening. We're here. We have. I. I'm always baffled. Do you think Larry Maldstadt just couldn't ink covers like they have a. They have something against him because he. They happily have him ink all of the inside, but not the COVID Yeah. [00:01:19] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:01:20] Speaker B: And. And in the annual, we had Jake. Dick. Can I say words? Dick Giordano on the COVID which is fantastic. [00:01:31] Speaker A: You got all the right letters. Make sure you get that right order. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Yeah, something like that. And I've only had one sip of Manhattan today. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Wow. [00:01:39] Speaker B: So I'm having a nice, sparkling. [00:01:43] Speaker A: Seltzer water, so. [00:01:46] Speaker B: Well, I felt like a drink was appropriate for the start of the big story. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Right? Apparently. [00:01:50] Speaker B: So if I had known that, you. [00:01:53] Speaker A: Should have messaged me prior, and maybe I could have. [00:01:58] Speaker B: I didn't think about it until about three minutes after I was supposed to call you. [00:02:01] Speaker A: I see. That's. That. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. [00:02:06] Speaker B: I mean, so it's a little late. Like, I thought I could message you, but then I thought, he'll wonder why I haven't started the podcast yet, and. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Yeah, fair. Fair. I guess it's. I mean, well, it's just what it is. [00:02:19] Speaker B: We get, uh. We get another. I don't know why you're ringing a cash register. This. None of. None of the noises that come from you make any sense. [00:02:28] Speaker A: Because the people like it, Dan. The people know that. [00:02:31] Speaker B: They all know. They don't. [00:02:33] Speaker A: I guarantee you. Right there. Right there, that's gonna be a message. You're gonna. [00:02:40] Speaker B: Of how I don't see these messages. Where do they go? Once again, as an esteemed member of the broadcast media, I can't even read my own messages about my own podcast. [00:02:53] Speaker A: They come to. [00:02:54] Speaker B: I edit. [00:02:54] Speaker A: Come to me telepathically, Dan. They send me. They send me messages through dolphins, because birds are real. [00:03:05] Speaker B: I think the colorist on the COVID had a meltdown. [00:03:10] Speaker A: You think so? Because of everything's like a muted color. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Well, the white background is one. Annoying, because white backgrounds are horribly annoying to keep. As a comic book collector, you can't. [00:03:22] Speaker A: Ever keep them clean unless you keep. [00:03:25] Speaker B: It in place right away. Yeah. The goal is to read the stories. Right. But why don't you wear. So I sighed. Did I sigh loud enough for that to be picked up? Hopefully, I did so. [00:03:40] Speaker A: Yes, you did. [00:03:42] Speaker B: You know what? I want Anne to hear you say that. And when I'm referring to Anne, I'm referring to the owner of the retro Emporium in Kent, Washington, on Meeker street, where you can find your childhood, of course. And I would never plug that story, but just so you know, it's there. She would be appalled at your comment about wearing white gloves and reading comic books. [00:04:00] Speaker A: It's true. She would. [00:04:01] Speaker B: She'd be like, I think she would tell you to grab a bag of cheetos and start reading comic books. Which I also would not be in favor of that either. No, but she would. [00:04:11] Speaker A: She would gladly do because that's what she does when she reads comics. [00:04:15] Speaker B: So. So cool cover in the sense that, like, there's a. One of those servants, it looks like from last issue, right? [00:04:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:23] Speaker B: Remember the one that ran into the polymer shield? Yeah. And died. And died from space. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Check to the face, clearly. [00:04:33] Speaker B: Like, whoever is behind these servants needs to get better ones. Yeah, but it is. So we get. Here's what I mean about the coloring, though, actually, I think it's a cool cover concept with the space in the servant and the legionnaires all busted up, and they're inside the servant. So the white. It's. It's the dark color of the servant with the white color background, but here. And it's giffen and Giacola on inks on this one. Again, I don't know why poor Larry Maldstadt can't actually ink the covers, but that's okay. We get him for the whole inside this time, so that's cool. This is Frank Giacoia. I feel like he's probably really famous, and I'm just really bad at pronouncing messing this up. Well, yeah, he is. Well, I don't. I don't know. This. This reference note says that he lived from 1924 to 1988, so he is an early comic book illustrator. Oh, okay. So here's what it is he. So this guy is famous, and this is where somebody's screaming into the void at me right now. He works for DC Comics, Marvel Comics. But are you ready? Ready. Eisner and Iger Studio, Ace Comics, Avon Comics, Crestwood, Dell, Eastern Fawcett, Harvey Lev, Gleason Productions. The amazing Spider man strip, he inked. The Flash Gordon strip, he inked. The Hulk strip, he inked Johnny Reb and Billy Yank, he inked. Sherlock Holmes strip, he inked. And Thorn McBride, which is the only one of those strips I've never heard of. [00:06:18] Speaker A: So basically, he did everything under the sun before his. His tenure was over. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:25] Speaker A: Wow. [00:06:26] Speaker B: And maybe penciled some of that stuff too. And it looks like he penciled some all star comics. Like the old, old one. [00:06:35] Speaker A: No, archies. I'm disappointed. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Well, you know, you can't do everything, but. Yeah, that's okay. Well, you know. There we go. So that's it. Once again, fantastic run. Yeah. Do you think, like, at this point, I know Keith wasn't. I wonder if Paul was doing it. But do you. Keith didn't have a lot of pull at this point. I mean, the book's been around for. We've been through what. This is the 8th issue of their run rate. Is that. That's not counting the annual. [00:07:06] Speaker A: Right. [00:07:06] Speaker B: So we go back to 280. No, that is counting the annual. We go back to 284. Sorry. So this would be the 7th plus annual 8th. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:16] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's. Yeah. Do you think if the book's selling well, do you think Keith has the pole to say, I want this classic anchor to be my cover artist? [00:07:27] Speaker A: Maybe it might be a tag team of both of them saying, hey, we really like to work with this person. You know, they're like, this person would be amazing to have on this book for a cover. [00:07:44] Speaker B: Well, and they came back and they had, you know, they've. We didn't like the Infantino stuff, but it's. They came back, and we had that in the one issue. Right. So maybe, you know, Paul Levitz has an affinity for making sure creators are taken care of. Maybe it's more of them going back and doing that. Yeah, I know what's happening. [00:08:08] Speaker A: It says that you're calling me right now. [00:08:10] Speaker B: Oh, clearly I am. Well, you should hang up on me. So the. It's. Yeah. In fact, you would. I don't know. You. Like, this is always an adventure in the sense that, like, somehow you're in your office, you literally find more things to bang than the space junk that hit the servant in the last issue. Servant. No, not servant. Okay, well, let. You know what, I've totally lost control of myself and this podcast. [00:08:45] Speaker A: That's what happens when listeners drink a Manhattan. [00:08:49] Speaker B: I have drank two sips. And you know what, listeners? This is what happens when I am out of control on the podcast or out of control on the day. Of course, I know you all love it, but I don't like, I like to be okay, so let me refocus on this cover. So, like, I don't know what's going on on the colors of this cover, right? So, like the. Well, the legion of superheroes logo is in ultra boy colors, right? Like, I don't. But then. So it's red and green, but then the other text is blue and black on orange. And then the cool. And the servant shall be assigned, which is the title of the book is in orange and yellow, and then it's brown at the bottom. So. And then the DC logos. The. The bullet logo with the. Can you say bullet logo anymore? Is that okay? [00:09:38] Speaker A: I mean, it. [00:09:39] Speaker B: The classic DC logo with the stars around it, but target logo. I don't know. Is there a new word for it? [00:09:45] Speaker A: They call them both. [00:09:46] Speaker B: Anyway, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The. Anyway, the logo coloring is completely off, right? [00:09:54] Speaker A: Set baby blue. [00:09:57] Speaker B: Well, the logo. No, the logo should be a different. Should be like the orange and yellow or the orange and blue or something like that. Because it does change, right? The logo. The logo does not stay the same color. Like, it adapts to the covers. It's just weird. I don't know what the colors was doing. And this is the original book, too. This isn't a scan or this isn't a. I mean, this isn't a. Yeah, it's not a. It's not a recolor. It's. I'm curious. I'm actually grabbing my copy of the great darkness Saria hardback right now, and I'm going to look and see if they recovered that color. Recover. Recovered that color, dude, has a stack of. Exactly what I was trying to say. I have a stack of books. I know it'll shock the listeners. No, they did not recolor it. So it's. [00:10:40] Speaker A: That's the color. That is what it looks like. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Well, anyway. Yeah, well, anyway, we should turn the page. The cover's really. [00:10:50] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:10:51] Speaker B: So the COVID is really cool, except for the logo. Messes the COVID up kind of bad. I actually don't like this cover. Like, as a start of an epic story, I think you should really get the COVID right. And I think that bugs me about this. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Maybe they made that cover for that reason, to be jarring, because it is. [00:11:11] Speaker B: A jarring story to make it easy to find in dollar bills. [00:11:15] Speaker A: No, I mean, to be like, it's like, it's a visually upsetting cover in that sense. And, you know, from a visual storytelling standpoint, it visually jars you. And when you get into the story itself, as we'll talk about, the story itself is a bit jarring. [00:11:38] Speaker B: Well, the story is. I mean, we, we're continuing on the path, so we jump right off from the annual, and we turn to the first page, and there is Jacques Volcarre. He's. He looks to be invisible. I don't. It's weird, too. They haven't quite figured out his coloring. Eventually, his uniform is yellow and black, but this is like a white. In this case, he looks like he's invisible. It's almost like he's still trying to figure out how to be invisible and how not to be at the same time, which does make sense. I mean, he literally got his powers, like, a day ago. It seems strange that he's out on a mission with everyone already. You'd think they'd give him a little bit of training or something. [00:12:19] Speaker A: Figuring it out, man. [00:12:21] Speaker B: I mean, you'd think, I mean, you wouldn't want somebody to go out and say, die in their first mission. Don't say that or anything, would you? Well, I mean, it could happen, but anyway, what we get, and the servant will be the sign. It says, chapter one of the great darkness. Saga. Saga. Saga. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Saga. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Saga. [00:12:44] Speaker A: Saga. [00:12:45] Speaker B: Do you think the saga characters will show up? [00:12:48] Speaker A: That'd be crazy. [00:12:51] Speaker B: If, like, Keith Giffen had originally dreamed up that whole book, it'd be like. [00:12:56] Speaker A: I had this idea back, back in 1982. [00:13:02] Speaker B: Well, Superboy is back. Hey. And he's like, uh oh. Judging by the smoke curling up gang, I'd say we're too late in. It looks like they're going down like, a giant elevator. Futuristic elevator shaft. [00:13:15] Speaker A: Yeah, just like, you know. [00:13:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And, well, anyway, wildfire is greeting Superboy as normal, being a jerk. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Jerk. [00:13:27] Speaker B: And he's flying down, and invisible kid's like, I don't know how to use my flight ring yet. Which is understandable. It's new phantom girl saying something snarky and, and cosmic boy, like, normal is just standing there like, you all are morons, kind of giving them that look. He's giving them the cyclops kind of attitude. [00:13:51] Speaker A: You know what's funny is we talk a lot of smack about cyclops, but everybody is all about the cyclops. [00:13:56] Speaker B: Cyclops sucks. [00:13:57] Speaker A: A lot of people that are new to cyclops or just finding cyclops, not finding, refining cyclops, they're like encyclopeds in 97. [00:14:05] Speaker B: So I haven't started X Men 97 yet because I'm still on season three. And I'm also annoyed that it's coming out weekly because they're half hour shows, which means they should have just released it all. [00:14:17] Speaker A: They're trying to get you to come back to the. They want you to come back. Come back to that. Yeah. [00:14:23] Speaker B: Well, if I actually owned my own Disney subscription, I would cancel it and then wait until X Men 97 was all out, and then I would go watch all of it. What I will say is everybody's opinion about Cyclops being great is wrong. Cyclops is an idiot. I mean, literally, in season three, if you go back, see what people aren't going back. They're just watching X Men. I said in season three, he's, like, yelling and screaming at everybody. He leaves the entire team to go to an orphanage. He just leaves rusty and skids and everybody at the orphanage and just shows up back. He's a complete asshole. He's literally back. Every time something escalates, he starts screaming at other people. Iceman shows back up and he starts screaming, screaming at him, telling the professor that there's no possible way that he should ever be let back into the X Men, and he's a prima donna and a jerk. No, Cyclops, you are a prima donna and a jerk. In fact, then I just watched the episode where they introduce, you know, X Factor for whatever that is. The. The forge led team there, and he doesn't even know Havoc's brother. And this moron has met both his dad and his brother and can't figure any of that out. And even havoc and Cyclops hit each other with their powers and nothing happens. And they both go, oh, and Professor X is also a jerk because he's not Bo. He knows because he's about to tell Cyclops, don't hit your dad right when they're in the Phoenix. Whatever. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Whatever. [00:15:57] Speaker B: The cartoon accounts for the Phoenix story, which is. I thought the cartoon actually, I thought the X Factor thing was okay. I know it's not the original X Factor, but, you know, I thought that was cool. But the Phoenix saga in the original cartoon, not that great. I mean, the movies and the cartoon haven't really figured out Phoenix because with the Phoenix saga in the cartoon, they make Jean Grey even weaker and more pathetic. Like, the whole thing with Phoenix is she's supposed to be awesome. [00:16:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:24] Speaker B: That's what made people actually like the character. And in the cartoon, it's like, oh, I used the Phoenix power. Now I'm so weak. Like, it's just. Anyway, okay, now I know we're talking about the Legion of superheroes, but you brought up Cyclops. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Yes. Well, you brought up Cyclops and you said. [00:16:42] Speaker B: No, you brought up. You dared to defend Cyclops. [00:16:48] Speaker A: I didn't defend. I just said people are tending to say that they like Cyclops now, even though we. I mean, in the past, we. [00:16:56] Speaker B: Well, if you'll go back a few funny book forensics episodes, and you'll notice that Cyclops sucks and he still sucks, so it's. Yeah. Anyway, well, we're back on the legion and we've got a lot of text, so I probably should get to that. We end up at the Museum of Mystic Arts in California in the eighties, which means it's some sort of futuristic hippie compound, which is awesome. [00:17:24] Speaker A: Sweet. [00:17:25] Speaker B: It's got. There's got to be some, like, incense circles floating around here and something. Right? Like all sorts of stuff. [00:17:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Where one of my former colleagues probably got her doctorate. Oh, I know who you're talking about. And it looks like a. Yeah, well, anyway, it looks like the science police came in and did some pyro nullifier and poor superboys. Like a pyro whatsits. I mean, he's just not very smart as a boy, I guess. He gets smarter as a man. You know, he probably should know that that's like a firefighting team or something. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Totally. [00:18:07] Speaker B: He just. Well, anyway, and then for some reason, they didn't bother to introduce Superboy to Jacques before the mission. So they, like, shake hands in this really awkward way. And anyway, they're all babbling and cosmic boy steps up and he's like, okay, hey, officers, is there a description of the attacker or anything? Is there something we should actually be doing? Whole page of dialogue. And then cosmic boy is like, yeah, you should probably tell me. Do you know who was the voice of cosmic boy in Legion of superheroes cartoon? Do you know? I don't know. [00:18:47] Speaker A: Tell me. [00:18:48] Speaker B: Well, I'll give you a hint. He likes to play board games. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Like to play board games. [00:18:55] Speaker B: He struggled with depression at one point in his life. He had a leech on his balls before. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Okay. Will Smith. I mean, not Will Smith. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Wow. [00:19:07] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah, we turn Wesley crusher. [00:19:16] Speaker B: Yeah. So anyway, I always thought that was cool, but anyway, I like it. When will Wheaton gets to voice comic book characters because he's, he's awesome, that is. And he, he should, he should just do voice all the work all the time. He doesn't need to, though, so you don't have to. [00:19:33] Speaker A: But he could and he should because it would be fun. [00:19:36] Speaker B: We meet, um, we meet some guy named Antonio Stefanacci. [00:19:42] Speaker A: Oh, hey, that's not Doctor Strange. [00:19:47] Speaker B: Not at all. No, it's not future doctor strange at all. He's got a cloak. It's a different color. His robes are a slightly different color. He has this eye sort of looking thing on his chest, which is a different sort of eye thing. [00:20:01] Speaker A: And a magic wand. [00:20:02] Speaker B: But he has a magic wand. [00:20:03] Speaker A: And his hair looks like, very strange. [00:20:07] Speaker B: Yeah, his hair looks like Mister fantastic. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:20:12] Speaker B: Right in the nineties, you know. Well, he was ahead of his time, I guess. Doctor Strange and him only had hair like this. Remember in the nineties, all the old characters get that hair, right? Like Mister fantastic has that hair. Hal has that hair. Yeah, yeah, for a while. It's weird. Well, anyway, this guy with a cape looks very servant of darkness in, and he starts babbling about darkness and servants opposing him. You'll suffer an eternity of pain. He kind of looks, I don't know. What do you think the servant looks like? Does he remind you of anyone? [00:20:59] Speaker A: He looks like, he looks like a guy we've seen before, but I can't put my finger on it. [00:21:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, well. Wildfire and Superboy decide to do the old high low, a move I've never seen them do before, but okay, they try it. And Superboy gets smacked by the servant. And the servant says, but do not seek to challenge me. Least of all. Least of you, Kryptonian. Oh, and then cosmic boy is like kind of freaking out because he hit him. And then the servant yells, dolt. And freezes cosmic boy with, with frozen freeze cold breath. [00:21:47] Speaker A: Freeze, cold breath. He's been eating those tic tacs. [00:21:50] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe he gets, maybe he just has bad breath from being on the barren planet. Like, there wasn't, there wasn't, it wasn't really good restaurants there. They, yeah, I mean, it's possible. Well, Phantom girl is standing in front of him and she's like, it's fine, I'm a phantom. And then she goes through him. [00:22:16] Speaker A: Oh, snap. [00:22:17] Speaker B: She's like, it's really cold in there, so it affects her in Phantom. [00:22:22] Speaker A: Oh, that's not good. [00:22:24] Speaker B: And then wildfire decides, well, he'll start blasting him because that's what wildfire does. No strategy makes sense. And then there's Stefani. Strange. I mean, steph strange, strange, fawny, strange, Fonny. Yeah, and he's being guarded by invisible kid, who's really gonna stand up to this rather super looking servant. [00:22:49] Speaker A: Super servant. [00:22:52] Speaker B: I mean, he does look rather super, doesn't he? He does. [00:22:54] Speaker A: He looks like. He looks pretty super. And invisible kid's gonna, like, invisibilize him. [00:23:01] Speaker B: Yeah, well, he doesn't do a very good job, but he. Well, Stefani sucks. He's the worst doctor strange ever. He definitely doesn't get to become the master of the mystic arts of the planet because he drops the wand and super servant takes it away. [00:23:17] Speaker A: Super. [00:23:20] Speaker B: It looks like it may be a teleportation tube of some poor. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Oh, man. [00:23:24] Speaker B: At some point, you might. Yeah, it says ploink. So if it was the tubes I was thinking of, it might say boom. But it says plink. [00:23:34] Speaker A: Oh. It's like. [00:23:34] Speaker B: I'm not sure. [00:23:35] Speaker A: It's like a plinko machine. Like a plinko game. [00:23:38] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. That would require me to take another sip, too, I think. [00:23:43] Speaker A: Why? [00:23:44] Speaker B: Well, the reason we're taking a sip is because on the next page, we get a tour bus passing the Legion of superheroes headquarters run by Ollie three queen tour. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Nice. [00:23:58] Speaker B: So it looks like future descendants of Oliver Queen end up being tour guides in futuristic metropolitan. [00:24:05] Speaker A: Oh, nice. I mean, it makes sense. You got to make money, keep that money flowing somehow. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Would you believe that character right there is going to show up, like, a year and a half later in a. And be a major part of a story tour guide? [00:24:20] Speaker A: Yes, I believe it. [00:24:22] Speaker B: These guys were so good with, like, Levitz and Giffen, too, obviously co plotting this, but Levitz has this amazing, like, ability just to drop stuff in the stories, and then they show up again. One of the really cool things, you're reading this for the first time. One of the really cool things for me, though, is when you have read them all and then you go back and read them. I knew this was here, but you get. One of the reasons I read these over and over and over again as a kid, because you can keep reading them because you keep finding Easter eggs like this all over the place. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Makes sense. [00:24:56] Speaker B: And it's really cool to see. And this is why I like the X Men, as well. I mean, I always go back to X Men, right? They wrote the books so long, right? Claremont wrote the book so long. Levitz got to write the book for quite a while. And Wolfman on titans, too, until he just completely burned out after crisis on infinite earths. But you would get these plots going and they would refer back to things, and you go back and read again, you're like, oh, that's where that happened. [00:25:25] Speaker A: How could I miss this? Yeah, yeah, there's some really good stuff. [00:25:30] Speaker B: Well, block is showing up for his favorite part of the day, mission monitor board duty. [00:25:34] Speaker A: Hey, it's a good job. Pays will. [00:25:39] Speaker B: And he sees that, and brainiac five's like, thank God, I'm out of here. This is like, I feel like this is my work experience right now. Like, they have me doing a bunch of administrative work. I feel like when you take an amazing brain like mine or brainiac fives, and you lock us down on, like, monitor duty. But do you think maybe poor brainiac five got locked down on monitor duty? Maybe for almost destroying the entire headquarters and killing a little girl? [00:26:08] Speaker A: I think when you do bad things, you get bad jobs. And that's probably why they put people that do bad things on bad jobs, Dan. [00:26:18] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's probably true. Uh, so I'm just joking then. [00:26:28] Speaker A: That would mean I do bad things, too, because I got a bad job. Some of these two. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Well, block gives us some exposition. He says it is a shame about matter eater lad's dysfunction. [00:26:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:39] Speaker B: But I fear while his madness may be ending, Chameleon boy's troubles are beginning. The other barely speaks of him. The others barely speak of him any longer. And he's looking at the Chameleon boy little icon on the monitor board, which you've just learned about because you got to all the ideas. [00:26:53] Speaker A: I did, and I liked it. I thought it was cool because I was like, I got, I got the reference. [00:26:57] Speaker B: I got that joke. Well, anyway, then we flipped the page, and Chameleon Boy and Timberwolf were yelling at each other, no. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Again. [00:27:09] Speaker B: And then he, Timberwolf runs into Saturn girl. [00:27:14] Speaker A: Oh. [00:27:15] Speaker B: As he's storming away, and he just looks at her all concerned like he did something wrong. I'm still like, I I don't know. In that issue. Like, I always go back and forth, like, were they trying to say that they went back in the corner and had sex and then came back? I don't think they were. [00:27:31] Speaker A: No, I think that they. I think what they're trying to say is that they thought that they were consoling each other in their last moat, what they thought were their last moments. And we're sharing that, that, like, closeness, you know? [00:27:49] Speaker B: And now Timberwolf kind of has a crush because his girlfriend is breaking up with him. And yeah, like, and, you know, it's almost like timber. Wolverine has a crush on the telepath. [00:28:02] Speaker A: Oh, what? Never seen that before. [00:28:06] Speaker B: Where. Where is. Has that happened before in comics? And actually rewatching the X Men cartoon we brought up? That is so annoying. In the comic. In the cartoon. Like, it's grow. It's. It's. It did not age well in the cartoon. [00:28:22] Speaker A: Like a creep. In the. In the cartoon. In the old cartoon. [00:28:25] Speaker B: Yeah, he's. It's just not like that. It's like he's stalker V, you know? Like, it's. It's like our wolves. Wolf. Wolves stocking. I don't know. [00:28:36] Speaker A: Like, I mean, come on. Nobody can be gambit, but not everybody can be gambit. [00:28:43] Speaker B: Well, I've not watched the new one, but I have seen the pictures of Gambit. And, boy, crop tops are coming back, you know, but they've left the Legion here, because now the Legion's all dressed up. [00:28:54] Speaker A: That's true. They are. They're all. They. [00:28:56] Speaker B: Look, it only took nice. It only took 40 years to get the crop top back. Yeah, that. Well, yeah, Giffen took it away. Took it away, and then they gave it back. Well, they. Cosmic boy is leading this mission. It looks like it does. And they're in London, and he says, time change, places change, Superboy. At least most of them do, though. Not the place we're heading for. And they end up at looks like the Tower of London, and they go looking for Excalibur, which apparently is stored in the Tower of London. Did you see Excalibur when you went in the Tower of London? I don't remember the Excalibur exhibit. [00:29:33] Speaker A: I've never been to the Tower of London, but I've been to Excalibur before, when I've been in Vegas, and. [00:29:39] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's slightly different. [00:29:45] Speaker A: I thought it was really cool. [00:29:49] Speaker B: Well, a whole bunch of. Of course you did. You probably liked going to that restaurant where they just. The waiters all yell at you. [00:29:58] Speaker A: I didn't go there, but I also went across the street to New York, New York, where you could ride a roller coaster, and that was super fun, too. [00:30:05] Speaker B: Well, we get some interesting folks in the background here. It looks like we get some omega men, Hawkman as a blob kind of thing, an ice dot guy, stock guy, eyesight guy, shows up a lot. They're eyes. Hot guys. In fact, in one of the issues, way, way later, way after their run, we find out the planet that ice taught guy got. Oh, yeah, yeah. They actually have an ice dot guy planet. But we've got all sorts of things going on. We've got the legionnaires are being mobbed because they showed up randomly by the Tower of London and tourist spot. What could possibly go wrong? Some kid wants the scent trace of invisible kid, which he looks really uncomfortable about and. [00:30:55] Speaker A: It sounds creepy. [00:30:57] Speaker B: It's weird. Well, they try to get into the Tower of London and cosmic boy goes flying backwards. Yeah, cosmic boy goes flying backwards. Well, you're still on the sentries. [00:31:11] Speaker A: Sorry, it's just I want to send trace. [00:31:17] Speaker B: Well, anyway, wow, I don't have like a button to hit to make you stop. So like, those are your house. [00:31:28] Speaker A: I know, sorry. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Well, anyway, cosmic boy tries to go in, he goes flying backwards. Wildfire gets mad because that's what he does. [00:31:39] Speaker A: If only they had, if wildfire was. [00:31:42] Speaker B: A 1980s actor, who would you think would be wildfire would be like a famous, like eighties tv actor or movie actor? [00:31:49] Speaker A: Oh, oh, hold on a second. Eighties, I, okay, I would, I would say if it was the eighties, you could probably put a young Hasselhoff offer. Knight Rider. [00:32:13] Speaker B: Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff. You see, Hasselhoff goes in screaming at everything. Is that, do you have Hasselhoff right. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Off a knight Rider? I mean, think about it. [00:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah, so, well, the hass. Okay, well, the hass goes in. No, cuz, cuz I'm gonna cut. I don't see David Hasselhoff saying, cuz I'm gonna fry you, you know. [00:32:36] Speaker A: Okay, so, so who do you, you know what? [00:32:39] Speaker B: No, we're rolling working cast. We're, we're casting him as like, okay, action star eighties. [00:32:49] Speaker A: Like, I mean, you talking tvs or movies, it could be anything. But who do you cast? [00:32:55] Speaker B: You know, I'm not casting him. We cast him as Hasselhoff. I gave you first. He's now Hasselhoff. Yeah, he's, he's, he's kicking Bami in his car and the car is just. [00:33:06] Speaker A: Driving for, I mean, it could be you could, you could go and, and write off right off the fog yourself a little. [00:33:21] Speaker B: Oh, you want Lee majors? Because actually, you know what's hilarious? I was actually thinking Lee majors. [00:33:27] Speaker A: I was trying to go younger because he's a younger, he's supposed to be younger. And Hasselhoff would have been in the right age. [00:33:33] Speaker B: You don't know that. He's younger though. He's wildfire. Like, he doesn't, he's a ball of anti energy. He could be older, he could be lemurs. Yeah, he might jump from a falling building and he might roll a brand new car. [00:33:49] Speaker A: It's true. [00:33:52] Speaker B: But he's gonna fry you. He's gonna fry you to make Eastwood such a star. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:33:58] Speaker B: Yeah, so, not that I know the song. So it's. Here we go. We've got, well, phantom girl is dodging, and Superboy thinks he's gonna save everybody, including ice Dot guy, who looks really annoying. [00:34:15] Speaker A: Oh, man. Yeah. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Annoyed or scared or something. [00:34:18] Speaker A: Really. [00:34:18] Speaker B: He doesn't really have good facial expression. More of body movement and eye movement. Does he have an extra floating eye? [00:34:24] Speaker A: Looks like he's. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Or is that another eye stock guy? [00:34:27] Speaker A: It could have been another eye stock guy who lost his body. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Ooh, that's not good. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Well, invisible kids, like, well, let me try out my new powers. I'll go figure out what's happening. And he walks inside and he sees a little servant with a big head with an energy ball on the top of his head. [00:34:50] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:34:51] Speaker B: And there's a sword there. And I'll say this. So he grabs the sword, he grabs Excalibur, which is cool. And then the servant grabs the sword and runs away. Not cool after wildfire hits him. But. So this one, I feel like the first servant seems pretty obvious who it was to me. How about this one? [00:35:18] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't. There's no. I don't know who the servant is. I couldn't tell you. [00:35:26] Speaker B: Yeah, let's see. Does he use any. Well, he does use some distinguishing power. So it's like a red ish kind of energy power, I guess, but, well, let's see. And he doesn't give us any hints, right? The last guy basically says, I'm appalled if a kryptonian touches me. And he's super, super. And he had freeze breath. Yeah, I don't know. Well, anyway, we don't know much about the servants, but I'm just kind of looking back on this. I definitely reading this a couple times, never figured out which servant this was, but that's okay. [00:36:04] Speaker A: Me neither. I don't know. [00:36:08] Speaker B: They might straight up tell you later, so. And eventually, like, later on your Internet might even work too. So it'll be fantastic. We'll find out. And, and the, uh, so, uh, Jacques looks at wildfire and he's like, shall we tell them about the space warp? And Jacques, he's like, Jacques, shut up. I can't do a Lee major. I don't even know what a Lee major's voice sounds like. I get. I was just singing the song, right? So I should know my jump from a fallen building, you might roll a brand new car. Shut up, jocks. There we go. [00:36:43] Speaker A: Shut up. [00:36:43] Speaker B: Shut up, jocks. Yeah, it's a, it's kind of a little twang. Or was he just going for the country sound? I don't remember having him having a big twin. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Just little, little country sound. [00:36:55] Speaker B: Well, anyway, we are back and we've got, oh, hey, somebody's gonna need some credit vouchers filled out. [00:37:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:06] Speaker B: And we get back to the storyline. Apparently fighting all those things in the headquarters did not help with wildfire's little electrical dysfunction of his brain. And he's looking for Imra and she's not there, and his sister is there and they go look for him. But, yeah, poor doctor Gimmel wants his credit voucher sound. Okay, so we're continuing that storyline. [00:37:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:37] Speaker B: And to make it awesome, Emma's out talking to Timberwolf still, and they're just kind of sharing what's happened. And Amora says, saturn girl says, I know what happened out there. You know what happened. But Garth and Aayla were far away, scared for us. They don't know. And no matter what we did or why, I don't know if I can ever erase their doubts and fears or ours. [00:38:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:05] Speaker B: So it seems more extreme than we saw it on the page, but it seems more extreme. [00:38:09] Speaker A: But I don't think it really, I think it was more, like I said, I think it's more. More just that, you know, like the idea of them doing more is the seed that was planted in those who weren't theirs heads. And that's what is growing, even though that's not what happened, you know? [00:38:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:33] Speaker A: So they're going to see it however they want to see it. [00:38:36] Speaker B: Well, and the legionnaires are seeing it that way too, because it's interesting because element lad quips that, you know, he's, they Timberwolf rubs him about running for leader and lightning, or an element lad equips back to Timberwolf, but at least I'm trying to get something. Lightning lad gave up voluntarily. So implying that he's trying to still hit on Saturn Girl, which it doesn't seem like that's happening. It's almost weird, right? It's the eighties still. And I said, this is still thing. It's like that whole protestant idea of like lusting in your mind kind of thing. And it's still a comic book with the comic Books Code Authority, so you sort of. Maybe they had to write it that way. I don't know. It's just still weird. I mean, I'm. It's like. It's. It's. It's one of those weird situations where that single issue was really awesome. But that's a plot thread I don't want to continue. [00:39:33] Speaker A: Right. It's. [00:39:34] Speaker B: It's because it hasn't. It has nowhere to go because it's a. [00:39:37] Speaker A: It's a heart. It's kind of like a hard sell. It's almost like it's. It's a very. It's a very adult themed. [00:39:46] Speaker B: As we shifted to. [00:39:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And it's like. [00:39:49] Speaker B: It's just not. It's not written well. [00:39:52] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like. [00:39:54] Speaker B: I mean, I compliment this book all the time. I just think that subplot's not great. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Does it? I guess the question is, how does it drive the story for these characters and how does it play out? How do we see it play out? [00:40:13] Speaker B: And it just plays out awkward. [00:40:16] Speaker A: And. I mean, and that's. That's what we'll have to discuss as we start, as it. As it plays out, you know? And if it doesn't. If it doesn't, they don't do it a service, then is it. Was it worthwhile? [00:40:30] Speaker B: Well, we turned the page away from that mess and we get too far. Across emptiness of space forgotten world hurtles through the void burned out, barren and dark as the unyielding night. He waits here gathering his power for the moment his triumph return. He schemes, he plots and he builds his nightmares his will be an era of darkness and soon it will begin. And we said, and I have returned, master, with the sword Excalibur. And the master who. I don't know what he looks like there. [00:41:06] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:41:08] Speaker B: Looks like a combination of, like, 18 villains. [00:41:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:13] Speaker B: He'S obscured. Right. You have done well, my little mockeries. Misshapen as you are, you shall yet prove perfect servants. And in that lies the greatest irony of all. You do not comprehend. And that, too, is how I wish it to be. When I am done, everything that lives only shall live only if it is as I wish it to be. Back, my servants. For I would not have you destroyed now, not yet. But even darkness must feed. It's going to continue to grow. And we get a more defined face, sort of laughing a lot. Cackling yeah. Well, there we go. So we've got another hint at. We got a bunch of servants, a dark, burned out world and a face. Well, now we're back at the Tower of London and everybody's trying to figure out what happened. And they're all blaming each other for what happened. And again, Cosmic Boy is the only one to be reasonable, and he's like, no point of arguing about whose fault or failure was. I suggest we return to Legion headquarters for reinforcements to determine where those so called servants might strike next. I think this is. We didn't get a lot from Cosmic Boy leading up to this. And remember how, like, he seems to take each issue and build one of the characters a little bit each? [00:42:33] Speaker A: This is it. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I think Cosmic Boy was one of the three founding members of the Legion. Levitz will play on this theme with lightning lad, Cosmic Boy, and Saturn girl. Much more later, but I think he's sort of reestablishing cosmic boy as that founder of the Legion. Right. The level headed. Well, all the kids around him are arguing. You know, dad's like, yeah, you know, you all can argue, but, yeah, we have work to do and. And go back. Or maybe a big brother, I guess. Older brother. [00:43:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's kind of. Yeah, he's a little level headed and maybe, like, thinks things through and doesn't jump to that. That super. Like, do this, do that. Like, let's. Let's. Let's ask the right question before we jump to the conclusion that this is what it is. Or let's. Let's think about it a little more. Yeah. [00:43:25] Speaker B: And it's interesting, too, because we haven't seen him really use his powers. Right. He's got magnetic powers. Right. He's on earth. He should be as powerful as magneto. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:37] Speaker B: And unless the pole. Unless the magnetic poles have changed substantially. Right. In a thousand years. Which is possible polarity, I should say. But, like, it's. The polls may shift north to south to you. Right. In that amount of time. [00:43:50] Speaker A: I mean, when it comes to polling. Polling changes all the time. I mean, people have different feelings about things. So you're always. I mean, it's really like, polls just don't. I mean, you got. You got option a, B, C, D, e, or three. And usually people always go with three. [00:44:08] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:44:08] Speaker A: No, option three. [00:44:12] Speaker B: That's on tests, not polls. But, yeah, you're. You're there. [00:44:17] Speaker A: Okay. Sorry. Oh, you're talking about magnets. I don't know how they work, man. [00:44:23] Speaker B: Yeah, and they're. They're miracles. Like the tides. [00:44:27] Speaker A: Totally. Exactly. Just like that. [00:44:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it's, uh. [00:44:33] Speaker A: You're like, why, Greg? [00:44:35] Speaker B: Why miracles? I just don't want to bring them up ever, on the podcast. I mean, once you disclose to me their true motives, like, I thought they were genuinely, like, just making fun of stuff. Then you disclosed to me that this group I will not name is, like, really pedaling, like, right wing dribble, and I. Anyway, okay, I'm sorry. So, yeah, well, go drink some faygo and we'll get back to this. So we're now we're at Talak eight, a dark and lonely world on the far edge of the United planets. Territory rarely visited and frequently traded with, generally insulated from much of the galaxy troubles. Didn't we just go there? Wasn't that our random. [00:45:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I was just gonna say I feel like we're just there, but. [00:45:23] Speaker B: Okay, well, anyway, apparently the. [00:45:27] Speaker A: But we're back. [00:45:27] Speaker B: Apparently the fatal five attacked it once, and I remember that. But originally it was introduced back in adventure comics 365 and 366, which was a long time ago. [00:45:42] Speaker A: We go back when we go back. [00:45:45] Speaker B: Well, anyway, it's also the home of Shadowlass. Ah, that would, yeah, so we get the team we had before, but we've added shadow last to the team. So we've got Jacques, superboy, wildfire, phantom girl, cosmic boy, and shadow last bringing her friends home. Yeah, and they're going to like some old dusty tombs, tomes, maybe some magic scrolls, I don't know. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Scrolls? [00:46:13] Speaker B: Yeah, and they're gonna guard them, and all of a sudden, everything goes dark. [00:46:20] Speaker A: No. [00:46:21] Speaker B: And I, well, shadow last didn't do it. So who's making everything dark? Well, now we get another one of those servants. [00:46:30] Speaker A: Servants? [00:46:31] Speaker B: And the servant says, as wildfire tries to light the room, the servant says, your energy may brighten the room, but it cannot harm me. Look upon me then if you are so desperate to see your doom. Look upon me. Who may be the least of my master? Servants. Oh, doesn't think. Doesn't think much of themselves. Yeah, but who is surely the master of such as you? And apparently she's trying to grab an orb, and this time cosmic voice steps, and he's like, too bad, lady. And I use the word loosely. My magnetism will keep it far. Magnetism will keep it far from your grim. Grim. Grimy. Grimy touch. [00:47:13] Speaker A: Gravitouch. [00:47:14] Speaker B: Yeah, grimy touch. I don't know that she's dirty. She's just different. That's kind of rude. [00:47:21] Speaker A: Cause, oh, she's kind of has a. There's a familiarity with that face, maybe. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Hmm. Yeah, there sort of is. Yeah. Well, anyway, she zaps superboy, and Superboy blows the servant back. And then phantom girl ends up the orb and they're blasting the old servant of darkness. And then another one boosts through writing what looks like. Now, the servant doesn't look very familiar, but what he's writing looks really. [00:48:00] Speaker A: What's it look like to you? It's a weird air scooter. [00:48:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it sort of looks very kirby like. [00:48:12] Speaker A: Kirby like thing, huh? Yeah, a kirby like thing. [00:48:17] Speaker B: A kirby. Like a vacuum. [00:48:18] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:19] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:48:19] Speaker A: Like a vacuum. Like a. Like a thing. It's interesting that the. Also, the. The what? He just, like, shot through the. The portal. Looks like a mouth. [00:48:31] Speaker B: Yeah, it kind of does. [00:48:33] Speaker A: Kind of cool. [00:48:34] Speaker B: It says plink and whoosh mostly. I have a drink with me today. Cause I think I have to drink every time we see plink or whoosh or swoosh in the boat. [00:48:44] Speaker A: Plink, whoosh, floosh. [00:48:45] Speaker B: Ay. [00:48:46] Speaker A: Blathum. [00:48:47] Speaker B: That was like, four sips, five sips on the page. [00:48:50] Speaker A: 1234-5677 sips. There's a lot of noises. [00:48:59] Speaker B: Well, anyway, he grabs the thing for the master, and then here comes the other servant saying, I'm gonna run away. I don't know why you're playing that, but anyway, invisible kid blocks her. Blocks it. [00:49:13] Speaker A: Her. Yeah. [00:49:14] Speaker B: From going through the portal, and they capture one of the servants. So there you go. So they have a. They have a servant. So maybe they'll figure out what happens. Well, the important thing is we get to later. After they've there later. And the legionnaires are having a meeting, as they do. [00:49:39] Speaker A: Will the servants serve them while they're having their meeting because they have a servant? [00:49:42] Speaker B: Well, I don't. I don't know. But it is important in every legion book that we have a meeting. [00:49:47] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:47] Speaker B: They have to have a meeting. They have to have a meeting. Well, it does show that they're very, like, thoughtful, and they get around and they plan. You know, Captain Picard had lots of meetings. Nobody insulted his meetings. You know, that's the saddest freaking thing ever, right? Like, of all the things you would bring up, right? Why would you bring up, like, the saddest thing about that series ever? Right? Like, now I'm gonna have to go watch that episode and just be sad for, like, 3 hours. God. Wow. So anyway, they get together and they are element lads, talking about quorums and stuff. He's now an expert in Robert's rules of order, and he's like, yeah, I'm gonna run for Legion leader. Yeah. Cause I was a deputy leader three times in a row. [00:50:40] Speaker A: Oh, that's pretty good. [00:50:40] Speaker B: Which, yeah, I guess. And now he's leader temporarily, right? Like, he's technically in charge. And he notes that, as all of you know, which is not many of you that are reading this, in 1882, uh, my home planet was destroyed by Roxas years ago, and I made the legion my home, and I want to give it my all. And the legionnaires are like, that's sweet element, lad. But if the table's open for other nominations. Oh, dream girl. I'm running too. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Shocking. [00:51:17] Speaker B: Modell's like dream girl. And timberwolf's like, somebody's got to be kidding me. Even block says. And then ultra boy stands up and poses like, I'm running for leader too. Do you think ultra boy knows what a leader is? [00:51:42] Speaker A: I don't know, but he wants to be the first three time leader. [00:51:46] Speaker B: Well, he did just get back, right? Remember, they recapped. He got back. He was like, in the reflecto saga, but they couldn't tell us what happened, right? Because they said, nobody wants to talk about that. Yes, but he's back. Remember, they were putting stuff back. So he just got back. They were just putting stuff back in his headquarters. You know, I don't know if that's the best choice for Legion leader right now. Yeah, I mean, you know, ultra boy has been the Legion leader before. [00:52:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:52:14] Speaker B: In fact, as you can see, he'd like to become the Legion's first three time leader. [00:52:20] Speaker A: Three times. [00:52:21] Speaker B: I'm sure things went really well for them when he was leader in the past. [00:52:24] Speaker A: The past two times. Sure. [00:52:26] Speaker B: Nothing went wrong. [00:52:27] Speaker A: Nothing went wrong. No, he's a person. [00:52:29] Speaker B: Anyway, Superboy shows up with the servant of darkness, and he's like one slightly damaged servant of darkness here. And everybody's yelling and sadderger gets really mad. Be quiet, all of you. No wonder Garth resigned. That's lightning. Is it? The important thing, figure out what the servants of darkness are and who their master is. And then that's where the founders kind of take control, too. And then cosmic boy chimes back in, I agree, Saturn girl, especially having met four of them now, each one is as powerful as the mightiest of us. And I have a feeling their master is in class all his own. So it's almost like the two founders pull everybody back from the legion election and all the bickering, and they're like, hey, you know, we've got to solve some problems. And this is kind of. It's not kind of. It's Giffen and Levitt's, Leavitt's and Giffen setting this off. Setting those two off as part of that group. Well, and then guess who? It is, your favorite character? [00:53:31] Speaker A: President mom. [00:53:33] Speaker B: President mom is back. Mommy, where is colossal boy? [00:53:38] Speaker A: He's stuck in a spaceship with shrinking violet. They're on a trip. [00:53:42] Speaker B: Yeah, they're on a trip somewhere. Bomb. Chicka bomb bomb. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah. That's. Cause it is the adult legion. This is Legion X. X. Or if it was an X Men comic, it would be extreme Legion. [00:54:00] Speaker A: Extreme legion. [00:54:02] Speaker B: God, that extreme X Men book was so bad. Anyway, she's big in all the right places. [00:54:08] Speaker A: She gets small in all the right places. [00:54:11] Speaker B: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's gross. What did you just do? [00:54:23] Speaker A: Delete that, please. [00:54:26] Speaker B: Well, anyway, President mom's, like, tomorrow. Chameleon boys on trial for treason. I assume you want to attend. Good news. In the 38th century, you do have a right to a speedy trial. [00:54:39] Speaker A: Oh, cool. [00:54:40] Speaker B: After you invade the Capitol. [00:54:41] Speaker A: All right. Excellent. [00:54:43] Speaker B: Yeah. So. [00:54:43] Speaker A: So they can have it in ten minutes or less. [00:54:46] Speaker B: Yeah, there's, like, two issues. So. Well, anyway, uh, they're taking the servant back to the Medi lab, and we get a view of Danielle. Uh, when the. The servant Danielle folk. [00:55:01] Speaker A: Yes. Computer computeo. [00:55:03] Speaker B: Yeah, when the servo servant goes by, and all of a sudden, computer starts going and buzzing crazy, like there's some sort of brain activity, like computers freaking out and having a nightmare, they say, because the servant is there. [00:55:18] Speaker A: Oh, no. This is bad news bears. [00:55:21] Speaker B: Yeah, well, good news. Computer does not wake up in this issue. But we get back, the orb comes to the servant or to the master. And the master looks at the servant flying the Kirby vacuum like contraption, and looks at the servant and says, my son, back now, you broken imitation of once, of what once strode the stars like a giant. It is my time now. The power shall be mine. And then we get one more page. Ah, I am fulfilled. At least for now. My time has come. My little mockeries man. He does not like his servants. Do you not feel it? The destiny which has escaped me for so long is to be met. Darkness shall cover the universe. Reduce all within to my slaves. And you, my son, shall ever be the first among them. Are you not humbled by the prospect? And this his son, the mockery son says, I beg you, master, I am not worthy. He says, of course you're not, foul one. That is why it is all too sublime. Come. I have had enough of this place. There's no more power to be taken from mere objects, no matter how potent. We go take it from those who live. And he's like, yes, master. And we get a krathoom sip. The forgotten world is still now, save for a chill wind crying of the lost souls and begging that someone remember who their master is before it is too late. And the next issue, we get a sign of darkness dawning. [00:57:15] Speaker A: Chills. It's a. This is a very good build up to things to come. And I. To some, like, I like how you just. You're getting teased by these images on the. On the panels. Like the. [00:57:32] Speaker B: Have you. Have you read the thing to come yet? [00:57:35] Speaker A: No. [00:57:36] Speaker B: Oh, you didn't keep reading. You're still only reading one issue at a time. You know, I've. I read all the way to, like, issue, like, 296. I. Maybe I got a little bit excited. [00:57:46] Speaker A: I'll read tomorrow or tonight. [00:57:50] Speaker B: Well, I. [00:57:52] Speaker A: Because if I read. If I read ahead, what will happen is I'll start talking about it during the episode, and I don't want to do that. [00:58:00] Speaker B: No, I think it's fun. I think it's fun to have you read it for the first time. Like how shocked you were with the last. [00:58:04] Speaker A: I was so mad. Oh, so mad. [00:58:08] Speaker B: You were mad that no one died, right? [00:58:09] Speaker A: Well, it's not that I wanted somebody to die. I was just like. I. I felt like it was just. It. It was just bringing us to the edge of that. This is what's gonna happen. And it's like, well, no, no, I don't want somebody to die, but it feels like it's gonna happen, and I don't like it. [00:58:28] Speaker B: Well, maybe they used computo, one of the most powerful villains in the Legion's history, to build you up to an even more powerful villain in the next story. [00:58:36] Speaker A: Cobra commander. [00:58:38] Speaker B: Yeah. So bad. I mean, this is. Cobra commander went to sleep for. Oh, God. It's serpentor. [00:58:46] Speaker A: Serpentor. [00:58:50] Speaker B: Well, anyway, we do have some important things to share from the Legion outpost post the letter column. And we want to read a letter from David Bellamy of 485 Kingswood Road, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. M four. E three. P four. Do you think if we sent David a letter, he would still be at his address? [00:59:10] Speaker A: I don't think so. [00:59:13] Speaker B: Well, he says, dear editor, my vote for the next Legion leader goes to dream girl. My reasons for choosing her are many. Number one, she's qualified for the job. We all know that she's got smarts from the all too few issues she has appeared in, which leads to reason number two. Wow, we hardly ever see her and our starboy in action. Perhaps by being Legion leader, we'll see them more often. [00:59:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:59:41] Speaker B: Number three, she'll be the only female Legionnaire after Saturn girl to hold the post. Number four, she's different. She'll give the Legion a change of pace. In the past, the legion's leader, it was usually a member who was all too often regarded as a definitive legionnaire. Examples are three charter members, brainiac five, and mon el. Dream girl is hardly what you'd call a definitive legionnaire since we hardly ever see her. Yeah, but we have seen her. But what we have seen of her indicates that the Legion will never be the same after she's elected leader. May we see more of her prescient power soon? This was very much the readers trolling the creative team. Every couple years they'd have a legion election, and they write back. Paul Levitz writes back, your dream has come true, David. When we close the tally on our election, Dream girl was a new leader with runner up element lad reelected as deputy leader for the fourth time. [01:00:41] Speaker A: Oh, my. [01:00:43] Speaker B: Here are the votes, and this will be fun. And by the way, the readers would do this sometimes they would select somebody that they sought to mess with. The. The legion leaders, the legion writers. Very much later on, they held an election when Paul Levitz and Keith Giffen were back on the book again in the 2010s for a short run. And there's a character called comic queen who talks like a valley girl, and Paul Levitz had her temporarily leave the legion while they were doing the election. [01:01:18] Speaker A: So they didn't. [01:01:19] Speaker B: So nobody could vote for her. [01:01:20] Speaker A: That makes sense. Yes. [01:01:22] Speaker B: So block got 23 votes. So 23 people wanted block as Legion league. [01:01:28] Speaker A: I would have voted for block. [01:01:32] Speaker B: Brainiac five got 41. Chameleon boy, 36. Colossal boy, 15. You know, you think with president mom there, he might get some more votes? Cosmic boy 19. Dawnstar 15. Dream girl 109. [01:01:48] Speaker A: That's a lot. [01:01:50] Speaker B: Element lad, 88. Karate kid who's not even a member right now, 56. Lightning lad 28. They did not want lightning lad back. Do you see? Roy Thomas's run killed Lightning lad as leader? Yeah, that was no good. Light lass eight. Mon El 52. Nobody wants light lass either. The Rands twins were. That's a no go for those two. Did you know light last was Lightning lad's twin, or did you just know she was his sister? [01:02:21] Speaker A: I didn't know they were twins. I knew they were. [01:02:23] Speaker B: Yeah, they're twins. [01:02:24] Speaker A: I knew they were siblings. I didn't know they were twins. [01:02:28] Speaker B: Mon El got 52. Phantom girl, 28. Princess Projectora, 26. Who is also not currently a member. Saturn girl, 26. Shadow last 14. Shrinking violet, 16. Starboy only got 17 votes. The best legionnaire only got 17 votes. Ridiculous. Sunboy, 20. I would always get mad when I would see Star boys vote totals. Sunboy got 20. Timberwolf got 37. 37 people thought Timberwolf would be. Are they just trolling again? Are they trolling the writers? They're like totally dirt. Dirt. You know what would be the best? Would be like a block as leader with Timberwolf as deputy leader combination. [01:03:06] Speaker A: That would be so good. That made their buddies. [01:03:09] Speaker B: That would be amazing. Ultra boy just behind element lad with 83 votes. And wildfire, a former leader himself with 27 votes. Imagine a wildfire led legion, too. That would be. Yeah, they'd be jumping off a lot of fallen buildings. [01:03:28] Speaker A: I'm surprised nobody wanted invisible kid. [01:03:32] Speaker B: Well, he missed the voting. He was brand new. I don't think he just came last issue. Yeah, well, he wasn't like, they voted before. [01:03:39] Speaker A: I don't care. [01:03:40] Speaker B: Well, there were 784 people wrote in. Well, they. They would had to write in after the election was over. I guess you're not understanding. [01:03:48] Speaker A: Oh, I understand. [01:03:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:50] Speaker A: Write in. [01:03:51] Speaker B: That's. Now that's 784 votes, which doesn't include a handful of obvious attempts to stuff the ballot box. All voting for dream girl, I'm sure. Frankly, we were shocked by the results, having expected to be a dead heat between ultra boy and element lad. But we bow to the will of the majority. Besides, it will be interesting to see what happens. Paul Levitt. [01:04:13] Speaker A: I see. So dream girl. [01:04:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Is the new legion. [01:04:18] Speaker A: That makes sense. [01:04:19] Speaker B: I mean, it's good because, you know, every time that she sees the future, it always comes true. So I'm very curious. What next issue? Like, if she sees the future, what's gonna happen? Well, we get. Next month, the saga of the great darkness begins. More mystery is added with some old enemies of the legion. The White Witch returns. You're like, who's the White Witch? You'll find out. And, well, do you remember I had somebody who's a mutual acquaintance of ours who I used to run her website. Draw me, paint me the white witch in her own. [01:04:58] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:04:59] Speaker B: Maybe I'll go downstairs to boxes and pull that out because I still haven't hung anything in my house for the entire year and a half I lived here. [01:05:06] Speaker A: So you say that as I look behind you and there's stuff hung in your house. [01:05:10] Speaker B: Okay, there's a couple things, but for the most part, all my stuff's down in the garage. Well, I have to have that Ramona fried on Starboy hung up because. Yeah, you know, I understand that's yeah. And I. You were there when I got the Bob hall art that's behind me. And. Yeah. What Greg's referring to is I have a starboy of the Silver Age by Ramona Friedan. I also have a karate kid in Projectora, which we should have mentioned in the episode where we covered them right here. Drawn by Bob hall, of all people. So I had Bob hall draw DC characters, which I think is kind of awesome. [01:05:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:49] Speaker B: He's like, I'll just draw anything. Just give me a picture. He was actually. [01:05:56] Speaker A: He was so. [01:05:57] Speaker B: And then I've got. Dude, I've got the splash page from Legion of superheroes, number two, volume three back there. Anyway, I got some production art back there, so it's cool. Anyway. Not production art. This is. It's a color page. Right? It's not production art. Production art's that weird. Yeah, I know what you mean. And we've got next month. I said, yeah, we get to find out about lightning lad's personal crisis and stuff. And it's gonna be crazy. And we were even getting. Because the legion was so popular, they put them in the digestive adventure comics. 491 is reprinting old legion tales. [01:06:43] Speaker A: That's cool. [01:06:44] Speaker B: And that's gonna end, I think, at 500 or 503. I think it ends at 503. But you even get so the legion so popular, they get a digest format back issue book. And this book here. Yeah. I mean, what happened? You know, it's almost like DC could, you know, capitalize on a property they used to make a lot of money on. [01:07:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:07:04] Speaker B: But instead, we have to have 17,000 Batman books. [01:07:09] Speaker A: Batman's popular, man. And they gotta keep rebooting it to keep it alive. [01:07:15] Speaker B: Batman. Batman and the Batman. Batman and the Batman. And the Batman. Batman and Robin. And Batman. Batman and Gotham. Gotham knights. Batman. Gotham city. Batman, Gotham knights. Batman detective comics. Detective comics and Batman. Batman, chivalry. Batman. Ancient Batman. Batman. And the knights of the roundtable. Batman. [01:07:37] Speaker A: You're missing one. [01:07:38] Speaker B: Batman. [01:07:38] Speaker A: Bold and the beautiful. Now. [01:07:45] Speaker B: Now, there is a really good book out there right now that Mark Wade's writing. It's world finest, though I refer to. I failed to. I refuse to name it by its actual title, which DC called it, of course, instead of calling it world finest. Right. Which is the original book. You know, the Batman Superman team up book from the golden age, right? DC has the nerve to call it Batman Superman, world's finest. Like, that's how shilly they are for fucking Batman. It's just like Batman has to be in everything. [01:08:15] Speaker A: Batman Superman. It's world fun. [01:08:18] Speaker B: Sorry Batman didn't show up here. We had Ollie queen, but we didn't have a future Batman, so that they. [01:08:26] Speaker A: Didn'T think about it. They're like, man, we got Superboy, Ollie Queen. Huh? Could we. Could we sneak a Batman in there? That'd be cool if we did. [01:08:37] Speaker B: I mean, there's a hawkman, too. I know. [01:08:41] Speaker A: Boy, oh, boy. They just weren't thinking about it. They just didn't. Could have got them shekels. [01:08:47] Speaker B: Yeah. I wonder how he managed to slide a hawkman. You know, Giffen's always sliding in characters, too. Like, there's a bunch of, like, anime characters from, like, the seventies that you're gonna have to start picking out of there because they slide him in, I think. Well, if you go back to page nine, I think, like, one of those looks like, one of them kind of looks like. Was he out yet? I keep saying doug lock. What was the character's name in new mutants? The alien. [01:09:18] Speaker A: You said page nine. [01:09:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know. Either that, or he looks like a spy. He just likes to, like a sea urchin. I don't know. [01:09:28] Speaker A: Oh, in, uh. Oh, I know it's your. Not. Not new mutants, but. [01:09:34] Speaker B: No, I was talking about new mutants, but, yeah, it's. Well, anyway, we don't have to spend much of time here. We probably also, like. Is that, like, in. Like, in. Is that up there? There's, like, a random floating eye, and there's ice talk eyes. So is that, like, the. Is that, like, the emerald empress is hanging out there? Right? Like, with her eye, a Vecchron? I don't know. It's just weird. [01:09:55] Speaker A: You got two. [01:09:56] Speaker B: There's so many socks. I love it when he just does things like this, because just random characters show up in the background. In one of the books, Astro Boy shows up in the background. [01:10:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:10:13] Speaker B: I'm just, like, randomly. There's Astro boy. You're like, what? [01:10:15] Speaker A: Funny. [01:10:16] Speaker B: How did they get away with that? It's a good question. So. Well, anyway, we should wrap this puppy up, because I'm sure we've been on Project dashner.com now for, like, a few days, and I'm sure after this episode, we'll be right back off of projectdashner.com. [01:10:35] Speaker A: Oh, don't say that. They're gonna be like, wow, this is fantastic content. We can't believe that we. We got this fantastic, funny book forensics amazing show on our site. [01:10:51] Speaker B: Well, someday we'll be on this press play to listen podcast. That's on Project Ash nerd with some guy named Iggy. Oh, that guy. [01:10:57] Speaker A: Iggy. Yeah, project nerd himself. He's. [01:11:02] Speaker B: Yeah, he has a whole, like, episode about Rex Manning. [01:11:05] Speaker A: Wow, I hear there's a whole entire day about Rex Manning. [01:11:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it's celebrated at the retrobore. I'm on Meeker street in Kent, Washington. [01:11:14] Speaker A: That's true. We do. [01:11:15] Speaker B: Where you can find your child. [01:11:17] Speaker A: You can. And it smells like fruit loops, but. [01:11:21] Speaker B: Not vanilla cupcakes, which you will smell if you buy a copy of absolute Zero's camp watchpad. Look at that. Segway boy. Why don't. Do I get a name like Segway lad or Segway boy or Segway King? [01:11:38] Speaker A: I mean, you can call yourself whatever you want. [01:11:41] Speaker B: How about Segway King? [01:11:42] Speaker A: I like Segway King. [01:11:44] Speaker B: That might sound villainy. [01:11:45] Speaker A: That's a villain name. Segway lad. Segue lad. [01:11:51] Speaker B: How about Segway princess? [01:11:53] Speaker A: Whatever. Hey, whatever floats your boat, if that's what you want. Segway princess it is. [01:11:58] Speaker B: I like it. All right, there we go. What's that? My little pony with the rainbow buttocks. [01:12:09] Speaker A: Oh, man. [01:12:13] Speaker B: It's like. I don't know. [01:12:14] Speaker A: It's rainbow, dad. Like, yeah. Dash. [01:12:19] Speaker B: Rainbow Dash. I want to be Segway dash. [01:12:21] Speaker A: Segway dash. Okay, there you go. [01:12:25] Speaker B: Segway dash. Like, I've always thought it was weird that the ponies, like, had their powers come from, like, the stamp on their back, the oppressive. Yeah, but that would be, like, the brand, right? No, that's where the branding goes. Yeah, that's where you would brand a horse. [01:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah, but they're ponies. [01:12:42] Speaker B: Yes, it is. [01:12:43] Speaker A: It is. But these are ponies, and this is terrible. [01:12:46] Speaker B: They're oppressed. [01:12:47] Speaker A: These are ponies. They don't have all. They don't have a brand because this is where they're. This is their beauty mark. They're not. They're free ponies. [01:12:56] Speaker B: It's not a beauty mark. They're all oppressed. [01:12:58] Speaker A: These are free ponies that live in the clouds. Dan, have you never watched the show? [01:13:04] Speaker B: I have never watched the show. [01:13:06] Speaker A: They don't. They're not owned by anything. They're free. [01:13:10] Speaker B: I only know about Rainbow Dash because another mutual acquaintance of ours, daughter, who at the time was, like, three, but is now, like, you know, in, like, high school, loved Rainbow Dash. So I got a big fill from Misses Moore on Rainbow Dash, and misses Moore will never listen to the podcast, ever. Ever. Like, you could not pay her to listen to this podcast so she'd be like, there is that. [01:13:34] Speaker A: This podcast is terrible. Why would you. Why do you make this thing, you silly people? Why do you even. Why, who listens to this? [01:13:46] Speaker B: She would be very sad that this even exists. And you listeners may also be sad that they exist, but it's fine because coming up, in addition to absolute Zero's camp launchpad, it smells like vanilla cupcakes. You buy the hardback. It also has Cordycep mushrooms. And on top of that, you will get an Mxpx CD in every package. So that is good to know. And in addition, Starlight number seven will be launching very soon. You can go on Kickstarter right now, save the day, and you can save the date, and it's going to let you know. Now, eventually, you know, I will get to read a copy of number six eventually. Probably zero days before the rest of you get to read it. But the good news is, if you didn't back issue 12345 or six, you can get the whole kit in kaboom. [01:14:38] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:14:38] Speaker B: By backing number seven. I highly recommend this like it is. Look, Greg helped write this book. I. Full disclosure, I love this book. It's fantastic. It's great storytelling. And after issue five, I want to punch Greg, Travis, and Brett all in the face. [01:14:58] Speaker A: I said it before, and I mean, when. When our letter. Tom Orzowski has, who has worked in comics for. For decades, on decades, I mean, he's been lettering books longer than I've been running around this earth, I think. And he. And he says that we've written something that he wants to continue to do with us because he's thoroughly enjoying it. That. That makes me go, okay, I guess we are doing something that is good. And then when. When did he let her. [01:15:28] Speaker B: Any books that were good? [01:15:29] Speaker A: You know, that. [01:15:30] Speaker B: That's like. And, uh, jeez, I heard spawn kind of sucks. Like, it's been around for a long time, but. [01:15:40] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, the. The. Those spawn books are horrible. [01:15:43] Speaker B: Kind of. It's kind of like elfquest. [01:15:45] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, those elfquest books. Don't tell. Travis finds out, he'll. He'll. He will flip out, because Elfquest is like. [01:15:54] Speaker B: Like, Travis listens to the podcast. [01:15:57] Speaker A: I know. [01:15:58] Speaker B: Well, anyway, the good news is you are listening to this podcast. I actually. Travis does sometimes listen to this podcast, which is down. [01:16:04] Speaker A: Travis wants to be on the podcast. [01:16:07] Speaker B: We also found out we have an. We have a dedicated listener named John who likes our podcasts. Who. [01:16:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:16:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. Yeah. So. And listens to them. I was shocked by this. Yeah, I'm pretty much shocked by anyone that listens to us. But the good news is, we're here for you almost every week. [01:16:29] Speaker A: Almost. [01:16:30] Speaker B: Almost on time every week. We're a little bit behind. [01:16:32] Speaker A: Can edit. Then the podcast comes out weekly. If Greg's not sick. [01:16:36] Speaker B: No, no, I was gonna say when. [01:16:37] Speaker A: Greg's not sick, the podcast comes out. The podcast is. Can be edited by Daniel. So it's a. It's a. It's a thing that we like to. We provide that service for you when. When Greg isn't. [01:16:49] Speaker B: And when I say editing, I mean, I slave over the editing of this podcast. I take out all the bad, all the times we get off track. Everything that just goes away. Like, it's all gone, like, this entire last 20 minutes. Like, I'm gonna edit out all of it, clearly, like. Yeah, so, anyway, we should end the podcast just to say, I believe we got on all the plugs. I believe we got in all the fun, I guess. I mean, if there are anywhere you could go. Jujitsu lawyer is back from his competition in Las Vegas. You could go to certified jiu jitsu in Tacoma. Well, I guess university place, but slash Tacoma, Washington, on Bridgeport and 27th. And you could find out what it takes to go to big, giant tournaments in Las Vegas and do well. [01:17:36] Speaker A: Wrap people up in your swarthy arms and legs and hold them into submission. [01:17:45] Speaker B: I don't think that's quite what they do there, but, okay. [01:17:48] Speaker A: I mean, that's what his videos look like every time. [01:17:50] Speaker B: I mean, I wouldn't phrase it that way. I mean, that sounds like. That sounds like weird gay porn, but it's not. What. I've never seen anything like that. Anyway, so we are now back to the podcast, of course. But, yeah, it's. Yeah, no, you can. You can learn how to choke out a person. It doesn't. Why did you assume it's men? [01:18:16] Speaker A: I. I didn't say it was men. I said anybody in the beat with their swathy arms and their legs. [01:18:24] Speaker B: Oh. Anyway. Okay. No, wait. I did not know. No, I did not assume that. No, no, no. I did not assume seem that. Well, anyway. Wow. Clearly that was. You were insinuating. Anyway, so good news is, that's it for today. So there's a lot of things you could join us on, but most importantly, you can join us on Project Dash nerd.com, your home for podcasts and things. And, in fact, if you go to project nerd Dash, project Dash nerd.com this week, you, too, will get vanilla cupcakes sent to you in the mail. [01:19:04] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I don't think that you will, but, I mean. [01:19:07] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I guarantee it's a guarantee. If you go there, I can guarantee. [01:19:11] Speaker A: You'Re gonna get some fun, great content, fantastic memes, the meme team, and vanilla. [01:19:17] Speaker B: Cupcakes sent to you in the mail. [01:19:19] Speaker A: Ixnay on the upcakes. Yay. [01:19:24] Speaker B: Okay, well, that's it. Thanks for joining us on another episode of Funny Book Forensics. Yay. We're back with Legion of superheroes number 291 next week. Bye. [01:19:36] Speaker A: The button. Shoot. It's over here.