Funny Book Forensics 334 Mommie's Roast Duck

[00:00:03] Speaker A: You know, it's been a long. [00:00:06] Speaker B: The Inside podcast baseball. We haven't. We are back. But people didn't know we were gone. This is true because I've guided the listeners through of us being in their ears, which is kind of creepy. Yeah, I guess. [00:00:23] Speaker A: In. [00:00:23] Speaker B: In your ears, like that little bug thing in the wrath of Khan. [00:00:28] Speaker A: Oh, that just goes in and burrows and climbs around until you go crazy. [00:00:32] Speaker B: Yeah. It's kind of like a meme, right? [00:00:34] Speaker A: Like a meme. [00:00:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Honestly, if we're in your ears, we're probably just going to burrow around in there until you go crazy. [00:00:41] Speaker A: That's true. We will. We've done it before. [00:00:44] Speaker B: It's a very fair assessment of our skill set. [00:00:46] Speaker A: It's what we do. We've been trained this way. We're trained to do it. [00:00:50] Speaker B: We're trained to burrow around in your ears and make you go crazy and eat your brains. [00:00:55] Speaker A: I was going to just say we could just sing great music, but sure. You want to eat their brains? Like a zombie worm? Cool. Okay, cool. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, no, we're not really Mr. Mind. We're that bug from SETi Alpha Five. [00:01:09] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Four, five, four. Not SETI Alpha five. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Four, five. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Anyway. [00:01:16] Speaker A: Four, five, four. It's going to make you think about it. Going to make you think about it. Six, five, four. [00:01:22] Speaker B: Well, we're not talking about Wrath of Khan today, so. I see five lights. [00:01:28] Speaker A: What? [00:01:28] Speaker B: I see four lights. I see five lights. You get the wrath of con jokes, but you don't get the. [00:01:34] Speaker A: I know that. You're talking Gen jokes. You're talking next gen. I got it. I knew that. [00:01:40] Speaker B: Well, on the first page of Destroyer Duck, I see one light. [00:01:44] Speaker A: That's true. There's only one light. [00:01:46] Speaker B: Yeah, that sounds like. It's like that right there. What you're doing, Burrows, through my ear. My brain's out. Whatever that thing is. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:02:02] Speaker B: It was okay. Like the first time and then the second time, and then the third time. Yeah. Well, anyway, this is destroyer deck number two, originally published by Eclipse Publishing. I believe I recall my notes from last week. And we're here with another tale of Duke the Destroyer duck. Not Duke the Dumpster Drossi? [00:02:25] Speaker A: No, Duke the Destroyer duck. [00:02:28] Speaker B: The Manslaying Mallard on a mission of vengeance. I love the Marvel esque banner at the top, by the way. Now that we get. Thank you. Created by Steve Gerber and Jack Kirby. Alfredo Alcala. The inker. It does say original inker. Oh, because there's no inks. Yeah. Dan, you're a. Yeah. Because we're reading the graphite version from publishing. I did look at eBay to try to get some destroyer duck original books. Yeah. You don't know that. I was unsuccessful. [00:03:03] Speaker A: So dice? [00:03:05] Speaker B: No dice. But there's a willing threshold that I'm willing to pay for what you said were dollar bin books. With the exception of the first issue. [00:03:13] Speaker A: No back, I would say. [00:03:16] Speaker B: I think even now. [00:03:17] Speaker A: Do you think they're dollar bin books, or do you think, based on the. [00:03:21] Speaker B: Ebay pricing I'm seeing? Yeah. Except for the first issue, I would. [00:03:24] Speaker A: Say they were dollar bin books back, like, ten years ago for sure. [00:03:29] Speaker B: So maybe they're $2 bin books. Right. Or they're $4 books, but I'm not paying $10. [00:03:35] Speaker A: That's a lot. [00:03:36] Speaker B: I mean, maybe I will. I do get a little obsessive about these things. We do. But anyway, this one's called Mommy noises. Yeah. Okay. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Kind of creepy. [00:03:49] Speaker B: Yeah. I would love to give this to Todd Klein to get an analysis of this lettering, ask some questions. Yeah. To find out. But this was drawn, I believe. These letters were not. [00:04:04] Speaker A: These were not orchestra. [00:04:07] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:04:09] Speaker A: They were originally, but I think they've been redone by for tomorrow. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Well, the letters were redone, but I'm specifically talking about the graphic at the top. That might have been Tom or it could have been Jack Kirby. I don't know. And I didn't see it in the notes. A lot of time when you'll see a logo like that, it's actually the letter doing. Yeah, but it does almost have some Kirby crackle esqueness to it. And we're just diving right in. I mean, that's amazing. We want to talk about. [00:04:36] Speaker A: No, it's got a lot of, like, the page itself has so much stuff going on on the page. There's many things. There's rats, there's ducks. There's somebody creeping in the background. A light bulb being children. [00:04:50] Speaker B: A light bulb is this thing screwed into a thing, seemed to have lights down, had filaments in it. And those filaments, fella who. And if you were in a basement like this, the filaments didn't necessarily work very well. Now, you can buy your light bulbs in various shades of LED, which is a light emitting diode. Yes, but back in the olden days. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Frank, in the olden days, they were filaments and filaments. [00:05:18] Speaker B: Anyway, we've got a lot going on. On the first page, we've got. It is the mistaken opinion of Duke destroyer Duck that his. His mission, the world of pink primates has been accomplished. Ned Packer, president of Godcorp, Ltd. Thank you for the recap. And murderer of Duke's best friend, the little guy who might be Howard the duck. [00:05:36] Speaker A: Might be. [00:05:37] Speaker B: But we're not going to say that because we don't want to be sued. [00:05:40] Speaker A: The little guy is dead. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Holmes, the little guy's attorney, has filed suit against Godcorp, alleging everything from monopolistic trade practices to the vivisection of Sapien Life force. We've got a nice news article with Holmes lawyer and his justice suit down at the bottom. Yeah, and honestly, there's everything in this page because it's a Jack Kirby page. And, well, with the exception of the bill, as we were made aware of last time, everything. And there's even some rats that make an appearance later, but I don't think they're the same rats. Unless they went from New York to Hocombe. Different country. Yeah, which is apparently a country anyway. So Duke builds a new mega space transport for his journey home, unaware that the death or its duly appointed agent has drawn a bead on his feathered skull. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:06:31] Speaker B: And we're in. [00:06:32] Speaker A: It's happening. [00:06:34] Speaker B: We meet Uranus P. Chicago. [00:06:37] Speaker A: Uranus P. Chicago. What a name. Where's that guy come up with a name that way? [00:06:43] Speaker B: Well, he went on an acid trip in 1968 and named himself after his astrological reading, okay? At least that's what my evidence says here. If I went back to my comic files, just like they do in Shehulk, and I pulled this issue out, this would tell me about his origin. And he doesn't really stick along, but he's eating an ice cream cone. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Yeah, ice cream. [00:07:05] Speaker B: And he's about to shoot at Duke. He's not a very good shot, though. Misses. And Duke holds up whatever metal he's holding to block the bullets. And in classic shitty henchman fashion, he's like, what's wrong with you, Doc? Why don't you die? Isn't that what every bad guy says in wrestling? Why don't you stay down? And like any good baby face in wrestling, Duke trashes, makes a big comeback. Breaks a water pipe. I don't know what he does to his face there. It's like a hammer. [00:07:37] Speaker A: A hammer to the mouth. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Hammer to the mouth. [00:07:40] Speaker A: Wow. Breaks in his mouth. [00:07:44] Speaker B: Really weird discussion. [00:07:46] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I think we could skip most of it because it's pretty messed up for the time. Yeah, it was messed up back then. It's messed up for sure now. Yeah, it's messed up now for sure. But, I mean, the whole mean three panels of. [00:08:05] Speaker B: How crazy this guy is, right? Yeah. He's established that this guy is off, and Duke also recognizes and so he doesn't kill him. [00:08:19] Speaker A: It is interesting, though, because my assumption is definitely they do pull from the headlines. This character is definitely someone. Well, there's two kindly here. No, Uranus is definitely someone who, during the time frame, there were a few, because he's obviously doing this for the love of an actress. That was definitely a thing that was happening, wasn't it? [00:08:53] Speaker B: Morgan Fairchild? [00:08:55] Speaker A: I don't think it was Morgan Fairchild. I want to say it was Foster. [00:09:02] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:09:05] Speaker A: But there was a couple people that were doing things for the love. [00:09:09] Speaker B: Of course, then Hollywood did the whole movie with Jennifer Jason Lee in it. The single white female too, which was weird and creepy based on what was going on. I've always thought that was an interesting movie to put out. Well, anyway, we get to the end of this, and Duke demands to know who sent this guy after him. And he finds out it's somebody named Medea who works for, wait, from the movies about. Yes, it was definitely now, actually, I think now we know why he calls it Perry's Medea. Yeah, he doesn't want to be confused. Gerber's Medea. And after reading this comic, I can. [00:09:49] Speaker A: See why I wouldn't, because then you'd have some mommy noises for sure. [00:09:56] Speaker B: I'm so funny when I'm cross dressing. Oh, that's not what this, not what this book is. Well, it's not Tyler Perry's idea. Spanks it on. [00:10:08] Speaker A: Uh, it is Duke Duck going after Madea, the bad one. [00:10:15] Speaker B: All right, well, bad Mommy. Duke kicks Uranus in the Uranus. [00:10:22] Speaker A: He does. He kicks them in the Uranus. [00:10:25] Speaker B: And they actually cut out a line that Jack Kirby wrote in because you just need to read the book and you can read the line for yourself. But apparently it indicated that Uranus really enjoyed the, and they even thought that went too far, so they even had to draw themselves back. Well, Duke heads upstairs in what we see as the Bowery Hills Hotel, and it looks like it's just a whole bunch of people sleeping in a line. [00:10:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:56] Speaker B: He tells the drunk clerk that they, desk person. Desk clerk to go fix the water downstairs. They call a plumber. Cute with Gerber, too. I read this, and just an observation about, it's, you know how when we were reading the Iron man books. [00:11:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:18] Speaker B: And you thought the jokes were okay, but I thought the jokes were sort of forced. Right. It's interesting. When I read Gerber, they just seem like in line with the character. [00:11:28] Speaker A: Yeah, that makes sense, because the character. Yeah, you're like, oh, this character would make a joke. Like. [00:11:38] Speaker B: Mean. They're equally cheesy comments, but they don't seem fair. [00:11:44] Speaker A: Fair. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Well, anyway, so Duke goes to sleep thinking, Godcorp only knows that's what he's thinking about. Godcorp only knows about all these MErs and everything. And it says on that discorded to note, the great Grey Mallard slips into troubled slumber. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Troubled slumber. [00:12:03] Speaker B: I'm loving some of the narration in the background in this, well, half a world away in the Middle Eastern Emirate of Hocombe. And before we get into this, I just want to say Greg and I are very much aware of what's going on in the world right now. [00:12:18] Speaker A: Yes. [00:12:19] Speaker B: When you call a country Hocombe, I think you can probably understand it is a farcical reference to activities in the Middle east at that time that the book was written in 19 81 80. So I just want you to keep that in mind. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Odly. Though, I do believe they were dealing with the same things that we're dealing with now, just differently. Less technology. [00:12:44] Speaker B: But I also just need to get this out there that our discussion here in no way has Gregory endorsing either side. [00:12:51] Speaker A: Either side. It just happens to be that this. [00:12:55] Speaker B: Book you're reading, a comic book that. [00:12:57] Speaker A: Cover to cover situations happening in the Middle east and unintentionally happening in the same. [00:13:06] Speaker B: We want, we want to get that out. Uh, and I would even go further in saying I don't endorse the slaughtering of anyone or side in anything that's stupid. [00:13:18] Speaker A: Odly, you can pick a book two months prior to say, hey, we're going to do this book, and you don't know how the world is going to handle themselves. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Yes. And strangely, you may think that we are stunningly unprepared, but at times we do actually prepare. And if it's. I sort of prepare. But we did pick out the book, and we're not going to turn this into international affairs politics cast. But let's say that. So we'll more focus on Mr. Cogburn here. And we meet Mr. Cogburn, who is a associate of God Corp. Kind of. [00:13:59] Speaker A: Looks like Abraham Lincoln. [00:14:01] Speaker B: It kind of. Actually, to me, it's a kirby creation. And he looks like the High father. [00:14:08] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, the High father and you guys. Yeah, that's true. [00:14:10] Speaker B: I mean, if you're making a comic book comparison, but yeah, I can see him looking like Abraham Lincoln as well. I don't know. From the notes, I didn't see who Cogburn is supposed to represent, necessarily, assuming. [00:14:23] Speaker A: Based on traded over and over and over again. [00:14:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, my assumption is he's supposed to be some sort of corporate guy in. [00:14:34] Speaker A: Just a. He's just an every man. [00:14:37] Speaker B: But basically he represents Mr. Upwind. And Mr. Upwind is the new CEO of need a new one. And he's not downwind. So all of his farts go in your general direction? [00:14:50] Speaker A: No. [00:14:52] Speaker B: And basically he says that Mr. Cogburn is like. He just insults all these guys and calls him Pissant coward terrorists. ANd they shoot him, and he falls off the building. And then some really creepy shit happens. [00:15:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:09] Speaker B: So he falls down, we get some nice dialogue about how every bone shatters on impact. After he fell 23 stories, rats come and they're looking at him. And then his spine just sort of leaves his body. Yeah. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Just pops right out of his back. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Crawling around like a snake. Now, I don't know. But he does have a full beard, but he doesn't have a mustache. And say, if he didn't have the full beard and he had a partial beard, he could look a little bit, say, wolfie or maybe small Canadian animal. Like. [00:15:50] Speaker A: Yeah, like a goose. Yeah, got it. Canadian goose. [00:15:56] Speaker B: Yeah. It would almost be like. Now, I was sort of thinking he looks like the team in college football that steals the signs from the other team, but kind of didn't really get in. Badgers maze. [00:16:12] Speaker A: The Badgers? [00:16:13] Speaker B: No, wasn't that one. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Oh, the Ducks. [00:16:17] Speaker B: No, I don't think there are Canadian ducks. That's pretty much factual. There are no ducks in the entire country of Canada. [00:16:26] Speaker A: Okay. [00:16:29] Speaker B: I found that on Wikipedia. [00:16:31] Speaker A: Oh, really? Interesting. Okay. [00:16:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:33] Speaker A: Wow. Wow. Who knew? Okay, continue. [00:16:37] Speaker B: This is important facts we're doing today. This is an educational podcast. Well, we're out of the country of Hocombe. [00:16:44] Speaker A: Dan Fax. [00:16:46] Speaker B: I think I'll make bad jokes to get out of the discussion of what was there that we just were looking at. So now we're. Some hours later, dawn breaks over the Long island headquarters of the world's largest corporation. And Sydney Upwind, chairman of the board. We get introduced to some new characters, so we're going to go through a couple of them in here in order, but Mr. Upwind saying that they have the most serious crisis in our corporate history. [00:17:13] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:17:14] Speaker B: The Hocom deal must go off as planned. We have lost the other guy. I just forgot his name. Last issue. [00:17:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:24] Speaker B: Unimportant guy he is, because his brother's right. [00:17:29] Speaker A: Ned Packer we lost Ned Packer. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, Jim Shooter. Steve Gerber murdered Jim Shooter in first. Did we fault him? [00:17:43] Speaker A: No, he was angry with him. [00:17:45] Speaker B: Mr. Shooter, I just want to let you know that eventually I'm going to ask you to come on this podcast so I can interview, so I can learn all about what you were thinking as a 14 year old and a 13 year old about the Legion of superheroes. So I just want you to understand this is all ingest. We really do. I mean, we admired your blog that bragged about everything, how you created everything in comics. And then we even did an entire podcast about you being the introduce illicit drugs into comic books. Right, true. Yeah. So I mean, I just want you to know I love mean you. You've left a mark on my childhood. Not as much as one as Keith Giffin and Paul Levitt's who really perfected doing the Legion later. But if I ever had the chance to have you here, I want. I mean, but maybe Steve Gerber justifiably murdered you in a comic. Yeah. Well, anyway, so we're introduced to Wablina Strange Legs, the head of Godcorp Sociotechnology division, Wablina Strange Legs. Wablina Strange legs. And she does enforcement concepts. She mentioned they were trying to take up because remember, if you looked at the original, we'd have to go back to page one of the first book. Right. To see all the divisions. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I understand enforcement concepts. So, like repossessions. [00:19:09] Speaker B: And then Mead Packer. [00:19:12] Speaker A: Mead Packer. [00:19:13] Speaker B: The brother of the late Ned Packer. So he's in charge of entertainment. Yeah. [00:19:19] Speaker A: Well, yeah, because he's always drinking Mead. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Sure. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Packing it in. [00:19:24] Speaker B: And their big star, vanilla cupcake. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Okay. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Which I don't think Cabbage Patch dolls were out yet. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Strawberry shortcake. [00:19:34] Speaker B: With Strawberry shortcake out in 1981. [00:19:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I definitely was getting Strawberry shortcake vibes off of this because it's a doll. That makes sense. [00:19:42] Speaker B: Vanilla cupcake. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Vanilla cupcake. Strawberry shortcake. And it's a doll that has a smell as we start to. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Or a person. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's a person. It's a real person. Well, and oddly enough, the creator of Strawberry Shortcake is a very small person, small stature person who, when drawing Strawberry shortcake, obviously most creators model themselves or model their chAracters. And I find it interesting because if you take a look at her and take a look at the original Strawberry shortcake lineup and stuff like that, they all kind of have a look that's very similar to young. [00:20:22] Speaker B: Well. And shoot, according to Wikipedia. And I just want to share that also informed me, you remember Wikipedia informed me that there are no ducks in the entirety of Canada. [00:20:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:34] Speaker B: So I want to stress that the character Strawberry shortcake was originally created by Barbie Sargent, who was then working as a freelance artist for American Greetings. The character first appeared on Laurel's Valentine's Day Greeting card in 1972. I had no freaking idea. Okay. And of course it had the 80s cartoon so this would fit. [00:21:03] Speaker A: Did you just get to the weird side note where her story fits into this story? Because she may not get any rights for her creation. [00:21:11] Speaker B: Yeah. In May of 1983, following a court case, copyrights to Strawberry Shortcase were granted to Barbie Sargent from American Greetings Corporation. So this follows almost the exact same fucking timeline as Steve Gerber's fight for. And he didn't know the end when he wrote this, but that's fucking hilarious. [00:21:30] Speaker A: And that's why I think they chose vanilla cupcake to be overlaying the Strawberry shortcake story. [00:21:39] Speaker B: Okay. [00:21:41] Speaker A: Or sadly though, because she also did, she was a big designer of other characters or other things that were very large from the 80s. Time frames, care bears. She did a lot of work on Care Bears. Rainbow Bright, other stuff like that, if I believe correctly. And you might be able to verify that on the Wikipedia there other things that she worked on, but she did not get any of the rights for any of those things. So when you do see this creator out at shows and she's still going to shows and she's in her 80s, go buy something from her, find her on her social medias and just go pick up something. Because honestly, this is how she's paying for all the things that she's needing now. [00:22:25] Speaker B: One it looks like. Yeah, because she didn't get at least the first three television specials were 80 81 and 82 and 83, 84, 85. So she would have probably gotten paid for latter. [00:22:36] Speaker A: And that's just a small percentage. And I can tell you that if they're going to offer you 2% on the end deal, it's not very much. [00:22:43] Speaker B: I mean, not that you would know from your end. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Not that I would know. [00:22:46] Speaker B: Okay, so now we'll get anyway. Okay, so Ned Packer wants her kissing that general that we met earlier in Hocombe, the country. So they're trying to politically spin a now is here where I will mention they're trying to politically spin a war in the Middle east for their own corporate gain. Fuck you. That's all I'm going to say about that. Not you obviously. I know what you mean. I'm happy to comment on that shit. [00:23:31] Speaker A: Corporations shouldn't put their. [00:23:33] Speaker B: We stand with so and so, like, fuck you. No, you sell shit to me, you don't stand for anything but that. I work for a large corporation. I very much know what the mission. [00:23:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:48] Speaker B: All right. So Abel Stugg, head of God Corpse Human needs division. My people will move in after the liberation to provide alternatives for Hokamites in the areas of healthcare, sewage, nutrition, housing, and the mourning process. We want to establish a nurturing, caring relationship between Hokum and Godcorp. So Godcorp, if you haven't figured this out, is trying to go into this country and be the corporate stabilizing, so then they can basically own it. Yeah, sounds fun. [00:24:17] Speaker A: Stabilization move. [00:24:18] Speaker B: But we do have an issue because there's also something going on. Going after murdering Ned Packer and Wablina says she's going to dispose of the duck matter. [00:24:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:24:30] Speaker B: And she says Medea is my next stop. So now we're going to meet Medea. There's a lot of character meeting here in these pages. And we get shortly, in the offices of Enforcement concepts L. D. We have a woman beating the hell out of some dude. [00:24:44] Speaker A: Bad boy. [00:24:45] Speaker B: You disobeyed me. You'll feel the forks of Medea. And she. Yeah, I really don't know what going on right now, but there is a vanilla cupcake with a giant knife through it, and then another one with a cleaver, and then there's a severed head. I don't know what her issue with vanilla cupcake is. [00:25:08] Speaker A: I don't know, but she's got some definite, I want to say, like, her vibes. [00:25:16] Speaker B: I guess. Yeah. Wow. Well, they're forks. And the man says, it was an accident. And she says, every accident is somebody's fault. Is this how you repay your mommy? With carelessness? And then she grabs what looked like giant barbecue forks, and then Wobblyna kind of takes her out and flips her around with her wobbly legs. It's also getting like. I think that, too. You think about the whole relationship with Kirby and DC over the new gods, and we've already seen a dead ringer for the high father, and now we get sort of the vibe of the female furies and goodness. [00:26:01] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, okay. [00:26:03] Speaker B: And so we're seeing a little bit of that here, too, which is, you know, he's. He's probably taking a little stab at his own creation there. [00:26:16] Speaker A: All right, I get what you did there. [00:26:18] Speaker B: Yeah, see, Greg's not the only one. That's funny. Well, anyway, so she subdues, but. And tells her that Mommy will kill ducks and not employees. And she says, mommy's a grown up. Mommy can kill anybody. She wants to strangle legs. So there's a little conflict going on. And then we get into the lawyer's office and we find out who Madea is. So apparently, Medea murdered her children with barbecue forks. And since she was in California in court, she went to a mental hospital for two years and they let her out. And apparently while she was in the metal hospital, and Holmes and Duke had figured this out all in like five minutes, she reprogrammed people to murder for. I mean, thank you, expedition lad. Okay, so now we get back to the action, and Duke is, leaves the office, and he's going away from Holmes, the lawyer. And a very creepy Medea over his head is really fucking creepy. [00:27:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Hiding in the know. [00:27:36] Speaker B: I'm going to go ahead and I'm not going to pause the podcast, but I'm actually going to snap that right now. [00:27:44] Speaker A: Okay. Snap that picture because it is an interesting. [00:27:48] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's going on our bumper for this podcast. I don't think it's as creepy as the COVID from OMAC Number one. [00:27:58] Speaker A: No, it's not. [00:27:59] Speaker B: But it's definitely pretty much there. Yeah. She's not dismembered, but that smile, it's distant and away. Yeah. Like, Jack Kirby, he's got a way. [00:28:13] Speaker A: He's got a way about him. [00:28:15] Speaker B: Jack fucking Kirby. Like, he. I know the faults with the blockiness and things like that and the criticisms of Kirby, but there's a reason people study this guy. And it is just, I mean, obviously the body of work. And they always say, I think, like the Baseball hall of Fame. Like, you could be amazing for eight years, right, or nine years and get in the Baseball hall of Fame. Or you can be in the major leagues for like 20 years at above average level, right. And not above average. I mean, we'll say star level, right? Or you can be a superstar for a short time. Kirby is a star for a long. And the reason for his longevity are things like, like, this looks terrifying. [00:29:03] Speaker A: Definitely. It's scary. Just off putting weird. [00:29:09] Speaker B: It's terrifying. And then the next one where she's holding, like, he could have drawn horror comics, right? [00:29:14] Speaker A: Yeah, he could have. [00:29:16] Speaker B: And the, the box for the lettering, she know. Don't you be scared. Mommy is here. She'll take good care of you forever and ever. As she's about to Stab Duke. So she's ambushed Duke, for those of you keeping up with the story. And Duke flips her around and kicks her. And I don't know how to best describe this picture. It looks like her head has done a complete 360. [00:29:40] Speaker A: It's crazy. She bends around a lot. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Also, the rollers in her hair are just fucking amazing. She reminds me of the housewives from Glow. Oh, yeah, the gorgeous ladies of wrestling. For those of you that weren't children of the 80s, look them up. I know I've mentioned them on the podcast before. They brought like a plunger and a mop to the ring. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Yeah, they were great. [00:30:07] Speaker B: And they were making fun of stereotypes, too. And this is as well, right? So anyway, she pulls out a hairpin and hits Duke with it. And then what's she throw next? Oh, she throws her forks, her barbecue tongs and she misses him. And then she somehow has more of them and she just murders two police officers there. Just stabby, stabby, stabby. Yeah, it's bad. And we still get this, all this and this awe. Did Mommy give you a fright? The dialogue here is so it's interesting. Come along now and Mommy will fix you all. And the people around, not just Duke, but then the way Kirby draws the reactions is what's going on from the bystanders. They're just like all terrified. All of. Yeah. Early on, before people knew what was going on, there was a couple kids in the background, like, saying it was like Disney World and hi, Donald the Duck. And then within, like a second, they're all terrified. They're watching people get Duke pulls. He called it a curler. It looked like a hairpin. But anyway, the curler says, damn. Some kind of toxin on the curler arms as cold as yesterday's oatmeal and about as useful. I'm coming, Ma. Just a minute. Because she says to him, you hear me, Duck? Come along or Mommy will play the game all by herself. Okay. I don't know if this is the time to talk about 80s moms, but this was a lot of the language of 80s moms, too. I believe I heard many of these things growing up. Even more creepy and out of context. [00:31:59] Speaker A: It's just so. I mean, with no context for people, they're like, what's going? Well? [00:32:06] Speaker B: We leave the fight. And meanwhile, at the headquarters of Medical Concepts Ltd. And as you recall, last issue, we learned that medical concepts is where they send their properties when they want to control them or they think they've outlived their usefulness. As you'll recall, that's where they dissected. [00:32:23] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Little guy, little duck. A little guy. And we get a same scene we get. It's a shame we can't synthesize the formula yet, Dr. Roxnitz. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Roxnitz. [00:32:34] Speaker B: But the pain she's feeling will be gone by morning, whereas the revenue she's generating will be there the rest of her life. I actually added, there's no. [00:32:47] Speaker A: She's screaming. [00:32:48] Speaker B: And anyway, basically they've got vanilla cupcake. TM. This is fantastic. So I'm glad you knew about the strawberry shortcake stuff because I did not. [00:32:57] Speaker A: You're welcome. [00:33:01] Speaker B: Like the plague as a child. [00:33:03] Speaker A: Hey, it's one of those things where I might not always know the stuff, but when I do, I bring it. [00:33:09] Speaker B: When you do. The most popular man in the world. [00:33:13] Speaker A: Interesting man. Not pop. [00:33:15] Speaker B: No, that's TM'd already. You can't have that one. [00:33:17] Speaker A: Oh, dang it. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Are you trying to get a sued? [00:33:20] Speaker A: You're right. I'm the most questionable man in the world. Well, not questionable man. [00:33:27] Speaker B: Well, most questionable man. Interesting. You fit right in this comic book story. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Bizarre man in the world. I'm the guy that brought a chili to the chili cook off at work today. I didn't tell anybody I was bringing one. I wasn't invited to this thing. [00:33:45] Speaker B: I showed up chili Cook off without being invited to a chili cook off. [00:33:49] Speaker A: And then I brought a chili with tuna fish in it. I mean, who does that? [00:33:53] Speaker B: My God. [00:33:56] Speaker A: And then everybody was like, wow, that's an interesting chili. And then after everyone ate it, I said, hey, it had tuna fish in it. And then you watched everybody go making that, like, dumb and dumber. [00:34:08] Speaker B: What if they had, like a fish out? [00:34:10] Speaker A: Well, the funny thing is there was no tuna fish in there. [00:34:13] Speaker B: I see. So you just put the mercury from the tuna fish? [00:34:17] Speaker A: No, I just put the fear that there was tuna fish in there. [00:34:20] Speaker B: I see. So I'm not sure where this story is going, but I definitely know that vanilla cupcake is the hottest licensing property in history. [00:34:30] Speaker A: Just like my tuna fish chili. [00:34:33] Speaker B: Sure. I mean, the story totally fit. It made total sense. Just as everything I say on this podcast completely fits with where we're going. And I never lose my thoughts. But basically. Mead Packer. [00:34:47] Speaker A: Yes. [00:34:48] Speaker B: Meadpacker says. Mead Packer. [00:34:52] Speaker A: Mead Packer. [00:34:54] Speaker B: Mead Packer says, don't cry, vanilla cupcake, TM. It'll be over soon, Uncle Mead promises. And she said, uncle Mead promised percentage of gross too. Spit in his face. There we have the story of vanilla cupcake. And then they give us a really cool art page where actually they originally drew in Mr. Upwind instead of Uncle Mead yeah, and I guess Steve Gerber had it Redrawn. They were not on the same page. Now we say, concomitantly, I've never heard that word in my life. Concomitantly, at the same time, I would be thinking concurrently. Yeah. Currently, concomitantly, we definitely weren't writing down to the 6th grade reading level. Superior. We've got the folks from Hocombe that are trying to overrun the country, all celebrating. And here comes our good friend. What was his name? Good Burger. Gottlieb. Gotapest. Good Gutentaggin. Do you remember his name? I'm going back in the book. The guy whose spine eliminated body. He's back. His name was. [00:36:17] Speaker A: Mean. [00:36:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:18] Speaker A: If you were Cockington Mitten. Trying to figure that out as we were reading. [00:36:22] Speaker B: Cogburn. [00:36:23] Speaker A: Cogburn. Whatever. You and I were both doing it at the same time. [00:36:30] Speaker B: Simultaneously in time and space, in different places at the same time. [00:36:35] Speaker A: Yes. [00:36:35] Speaker B: Dan and Greg go on a quest to figure out who Cogburn is. [00:36:40] Speaker A: Cogburn. [00:36:41] Speaker B: Cogburn. He's a man. Well, he does have it, actually. No, that's the only thing he has in his spine. But he's back and he is a party animal. And he is. I like this. Yeah, he's murdering everyone. Murderlicious, we presume, because we don't see it on screen. [00:37:00] Speaker A: Yeah, we don't see it on screen, but he's double fisting a couple of big guns. Yeah, and he's going to town. [00:37:08] Speaker B: Well, now we're back to Manhattan. Traffic Snag has developed the corner of Madison Avenue and 57th Street. And we're also alerted. That is the location of Marvel Comics headquarters at the bottom of the page. [00:37:19] Speaker A: I see. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Well, was because Marvel's in LA now, right? Until they figure out that LA is too much for. Because he couldn't take it, they need to go back to know, because he's going to leave on that midnight train. [00:37:37] Speaker A: Yes. Eat some hot colo bolo. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Okay, so we've got a big fight scene going on. [00:37:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I just moved it right along. [00:37:48] Speaker B: And we've got a bunch of people yelling about shutting up and getting out of the way. And everybody's fighting in the background. [00:37:54] Speaker A: They're kind of fighting. [00:37:55] Speaker B: The one guy can't move his car because he has a barbecue fork stuck in his distributor cap. How Many barbecue forks does this Medea lady have? [00:38:02] Speaker A: She's got a lot. [00:38:03] Speaker B: It's like Tyler Perry's. Madea's big. She's. [00:38:07] Speaker A: She's forking it up. Downtown is forked up because of it. [00:38:12] Speaker B: Oh, Tyler Perry. Madea's forked up barbecue party. There we go. [00:38:19] Speaker A: Okay. There we go. Got it. Good. [00:38:21] Speaker B: A very. A very. Madea forked up barbecue party. [00:38:24] Speaker A: Well, she's serving lunch every day. [00:38:28] Speaker B: Oh, Tyler Perry's Digestible. It's a Madea barbecue party. Steaks, ribs, got everything. Duck, roast duck. [00:38:38] Speaker A: Yeah, all of it. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Well, I hate to break it to you. He tackles Madea. She goes down. However, in the process, she reaches up with a barbecue fork. And we may be having roast duck next to. Because he says she's not even a competent psychopath. And the police pull the fork out of his back. Probably not what they should have done. [00:38:59] Speaker A: I know. [00:39:00] Speaker B: Gotten in medical treatment first. Right. [00:39:02] Speaker A: Because, I mean, it's not the stab wound that will kill you. It's the sudden loss of not, I should say, it's not the fork stabbing the duck. It's the sudden loss of pressure once they remove it. [00:39:16] Speaker B: And with that, by the way, the dialogue is fantastic. Greg was doing a certain jokes. So, like, Greg was actually covering the. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Steaks, ribs, you name it. [00:39:29] Speaker B: But the last caption is with that, the Grim Gray Mallard falls next. Vanilla extract. There's going to be a third issue, Greg. [00:39:38] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. The third issue, I do find it funny is that we're going to have weenies every day for lunch. You must have struck a nerve. Damn you, Medea. Come back here. I'm only wounded. Mommy didn't win. I find that it's a whole entire like, Mommy. [00:39:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. It's. And Medea's won the day so far. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:39:59] Speaker B: Duke's not. Duke looks in bad shape. [00:40:02] Speaker A: Duke is in dire straits. [00:40:05] Speaker B: He's really ducked up. Well, we're going to get back to more destroyer Duck next episode. [00:40:13] Speaker A: Yes, sir. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Because we love this, and I hate to break it to you fans, but I still love this. Greg said it was going to get really out there, but I still very much love this. [00:40:23] Speaker A: Oh, I love it, too. But you still, that next episode drops the next issue. It's a wild one. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Well, this Is the one where you've read ahead and I'm actually reading as we go. We'll see what happens. I can't wait. I don't know what's going to happen to Duke. This is kind of fun because I really don't know what happens next. So I can't foreshadow anything. I'm just like, all right, next page. Here we go. And you know what happens. And you know, anyway, by the way, you're getting my genuine reactions. I have not read Ed. All I can tell you is the COVID looks really messed up on the next issue. Oh, yeah. Looking at that right now, it's jacked. I see some chains. I see vanilla cupcake, some guns. And I see a duck. [00:41:07] Speaker A: A duck. [00:41:08] Speaker B: A dude, and somebody in a space helmet. [00:41:11] Speaker A: Space helmet. It'll all be explained to you in the next. [00:41:14] Speaker B: Maybe it's Grimbor. [00:41:17] Speaker A: It is. Oh, my God. How did you know? But it's not Grimbor. It's a grandma. So it's Grambor the Chainsmaw. And basically she finds all the chains, Ma. And Chainsmaw finds all the young ones and chains them down. [00:41:42] Speaker B: God. Yeah. So basically what you can expect next episode is a very Medea Christmas. Yeah. [00:41:49] Speaker A: Thanksgiving. Oh, boy. [00:41:53] Speaker B: Well, I think. Well, can you hang on until next episode? Can you find out the fate of Destroyer Duck? Can you find out the fate of Vanilla Cupcake? Will they go back to their owner? They stay owned by Godcore? I don't know. We'll find out. But until you find out, Greg, I feel like you have something to talk about, because we talked about it on the last podcast, and now it's. [00:42:19] Speaker A: The Kickstarter funded. [00:42:23] Speaker B: No, that's cool. Thank you for all your support for that. I know John appreciates that, but maybe something that people could preorder. [00:42:34] Speaker A: Okay, you want me to talk about Absolute Zero's camp launch pad or otherwise. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Known as Tyler Perry's Medea, a space camp adventure? [00:42:46] Speaker A: No, you stopped that, Dan. It's not. This is formerly known as the Secret Project that Mike and I could not talk about. So those of you following along, Mike Tanner, longtime writing partner and friend, the co creator of Junior Braves, and myself. [00:43:02] Speaker B: Have been working lead singer of. [00:43:07] Speaker A: No, don't say that. Because then people will be like, what? Different mic. But also from. But MXPX is from. Yes. From the state of Washington. [00:43:19] Speaker B: Possibly the worst song ever. [00:43:22] Speaker A: There's other ones that are anyways, so. But Mike and I have been working on a secret project. That secret project is absolute Zeros Camp launchpad. It's being put out by Little Brown Publishing and Einhorn Epic Productions, a division of Hashette. Division of Hashette. [00:43:43] Speaker B: I just want to stay in theme with. [00:43:45] Speaker A: I will tell you, and I said this before, and it's very weird. I listen to a lot of audio books on CDE, tape, other things like that I have growing up, Hashette audio production and hearing that is always like, oh, wow, that's so cool. Maybe someday I'll have something. Maybe someday I'll make something that'll have that. And I was like, it's always like, that'll never happen because you write whatever. And then all of a sudden I get approached to write this book series with Mike and we pitch this thing and then it becomes real and it's put out by these people that I'm like, holy cow, there's a big, I want to say gravitas of this. I mean, I tell my mother in law, hey, have you heard of. And she's like, yes, I know. Little Brown Publishing. This is a big deal. You are writing a book. [00:44:43] Speaker B: Well, does Grandma know that? [00:44:45] Speaker A: Does Baba know my grandma? So until it comes out, even when Gina Braves came out and we went to Barnes and Noble and went to, it was like, oh, hey, this is really cool. You have a book and it's in two very nice bookstores that I like, but it still was not, I don't know. I think for her thing is, people aren't going to know you until you're dead. And I'm like, why would you say that? I think that's just like, literally, that is a thing of the generation. But it makes sense because, you know, for the most part, everyone that she knows as a writer, creator, somebody that makes books, movies, anything, they're all deceased. And she didn't know who they were until they were deceased. [00:45:53] Speaker B: Because you're going to give her. [00:45:55] Speaker A: Yes, that's true. [00:45:56] Speaker B: But you can order it on Amazon. AbsolutEs by Greg Smith and Mike Tanner. [00:46:02] Speaker A: And art by Gabriel Gomez. [00:46:05] Speaker B: And you could pre order now. You can also pre order on the Little Brown website Slash Hashette website. So, yeah, this book's out there. I'll make sure there's a link to ordering it in the podcast notes as well. You get that on pre order. And honestly to like, we're not going to beg you to pre order the book. I love Greg's stuff and I order every time myself. But if you do does help. It does help Little Brown, who is just now getting into these types of books. Right? [00:46:32] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm just going to say as the team, bringing them their first foray into this area, this is a huge honor for one and two. It is a very heavy task, if that makes sense for anybody that's listening, that's done anything creative. There's a lot of weight on there. I feel like Atlas or Hercules or Sisyphus trying to push that rock up a mean. We've been working on this for like. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Five years because when you said Atlas, I heard you say, I felt like you said Alice. And so then I went to Alice from the Brady Bunch. It was a big lift for her to run that house. [00:47:25] Speaker A: Well, it really was. [00:47:26] Speaker B: And she really took care of those kids. [00:47:28] Speaker A: Took care of those kids. [00:47:30] Speaker B: Then that wasn't her job. Like Mike and Carol were supposed to be taking care of their fucking kids. But Alice did that. Yeah. [00:47:39] Speaker A: Did everything. When things went sideways, she was know and she had a life outside of the house, but she was always there. [00:47:46] Speaker B: Didn't she date Sam? The did you know? [00:47:48] Speaker A: She did? [00:47:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's kind of like what your partnership with Mike is. It's like dating Sam the butcher. Yeah. [00:47:55] Speaker A: But thankfully, on this project, we have Gabrielle. And I will say Gabrielle. Without her, we would not have this amazing art that every time she's put pages back to us or drawn anything to show us what her thoughts for panels, pages, characters, anything. I have been blown away because it has this, I want to say a feel to it. The artwork. It has this reminiscent feel, but it's a new story. But it has that kind of. Oh, yeah. And it's a little bit space camp, a little bit meatballs. [00:48:36] Speaker B: So it's going to make you feel like you've been hanging out with Mommy Madea. That reminiscent feel. [00:48:46] Speaker A: No, Mommy Madea. [00:48:48] Speaker B: Oh, I see. Oh, I know. Actually, I've heard all about this, so I'm really excited about how they're going to. It's. It's kind of fantastic. Right? Listeners, if you buy this book, it does bring you back to the old days of Washington State. It's going to be some feels. A new MXPX CD is going to be released with every copy. [00:49:08] Speaker A: No, don't say that, because that's not true. But if you do go to the Ironhorn Epic Productions website that will be linked, you can go get yourself merch. Because there's T shirts and stickers made for us, which as a creator, I'm used to doing that myself, not having someone say, hey, you know what we did for this? We actually made some stuff so you. [00:49:31] Speaker B: Could get a T. And with every purchase of a T shirt or sticker, you will indeed get an MXPX. [00:49:38] Speaker A: I would wish that it was any other band. I mean, I like, mean signed by Jim Shooter. Oh, my God. I like MXPX. And I have a bunch of their CDs, but at the same point, there's so many other great Washington bands. [00:49:58] Speaker B: All right, so that's it. Friends order app. As soon as possible, you will get your MXPX CD. And of course, you will get a barbecue fork and you're just doing this. [00:50:11] Speaker A: To just drive me nuts. Oh, my gosh. [00:50:14] Speaker B: Well, you were wondering in Omaha how I sold all of your books off the table. So I'm just saying. [00:50:20] Speaker A: Well, you know, my roommate Howard, he. [00:50:24] Speaker B: Went to high school, the guys remember, and then he saw Bremerton and was like, oh, my God. [00:50:30] Speaker A: Because he lived in mean, we were fortunate enough we went to a high school that famous people went to. [00:50:41] Speaker B: Sure we did. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, what, the Harmon Brothers, they had that band. [00:50:49] Speaker B: Greg Smith. [00:50:51] Speaker A: He's not famous. [00:50:52] Speaker B: Well, he is now because he has a book published by Little Brown. So there you go. That's all you need to be famous. Book published by Little Brown. And now you're famous. You are not going to be able to walk the streets of Ballard ever. [00:51:05] Speaker A: Again because they're going to be like, you're standing 10ft off the beal. I don't know what that means. [00:51:14] Speaker B: And let alone the streets of Kent. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I'm already. Well, honestly. Okay, just for those listening, if you are from Kent and you know my wife's story and you see me around, you already do it. But that's a weird thing and I'm just going to put that out there. When people holler at me for the store, they see me driving around town and I get honked at, I got to think, like, did I do something that makes somebody mad? And then I see people waving at me and I'm like, oh, my gosh, they're waving at me because of the shop. [00:51:55] Speaker B: Or like, are you sure it's because. You sure it wasn't because you were wearing your clown shoes? [00:52:00] Speaker A: No, I wasn't wearing. I can't do that in the. [00:52:05] Speaker B: It. [00:52:06] Speaker A: I used to do it in my privia. The privy was big enough to do that with the clown shoes. Well, Toyota's have a bigger area than Nissan's. [00:52:17] Speaker B: Well, you can also see Greg and Anne at the Minkent, Washington. Right. Also, if you want to support other businesses and you're in the Seattle Tacoma area and you want to train in jujitsu and learn the art of grappling, you can visit certified martial arts on 27th Anne Bridgeport Way, just barely in city limits of University Place. But pretty much. So you could do that. You can also follow us on the X, on the weird blue thing, the Facebook Insta. [00:52:50] Speaker A: Green. Yeah, Insta. [00:52:52] Speaker B: Insta. And of course you can follow our podcast on YouTube. Or if you have our feed, you can pretty much just put us into any feed thing. Just a heads up, there may be some changes to the feed coming up soon. And as they happen, we will be letting you know on social media. [00:53:13] Speaker A: If that happens, when we know more, you'll know more. [00:53:17] Speaker B: When we know more, you'll know more. But there may be some changes to the mothership. So if those changes happen, then we may be reporting to a new mothership. But I can't tell you the order in which it happens because this story, much like Starlight, has no page number. [00:53:34] Speaker A: I know there's no page numbers. Just like Starlight. We're writing our own as we go. [00:53:39] Speaker B: Or there's no page numberS. [00:53:40] Speaker A: There's no page numbers. [00:53:41] Speaker B: So I can't turn the page. Yeah. [00:53:44] Speaker A: No, but I had a great conversation today. [00:53:46] Speaker B: Well, there we go. News to come, friends. News to come. But the podcast is not going away. It just may like a little bit. [00:53:53] Speaker A: But like the season, we love you. [00:53:56] Speaker B: Thank you, support. But if you do love the podcast, you could always go give us a review on Apple or give us whatever you do on YouTube. I honestly don't know. I just watch things there. [00:54:08] Speaker A: But you can go, I assume you. [00:54:09] Speaker B: Can hit buttons and give us a rating or something. [00:54:11] Speaker A: Yeah, give us a rating or a thumbs up. Subscribe it like it, leave us a comment or whatever. Get the algorithm working in our favor. All those things that make our shared mutual dreams come true, whatever they may. [00:54:25] Speaker B: Be, we're going to make it after all. [00:54:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:30] Speaker B: Do you have a hat to throw up in the air? Because I don't have one. [00:54:32] Speaker A: I do. I'm throwing my hat up in the air. It's my underwear hat because I wear it when I podcast. [00:54:39] Speaker B: That's why you wouldn't go on video today. That's a perfect time to end the podcast. [00:54:44] Speaker A: So thank you. Hat made of underwear. [00:54:46] Speaker B: Another edition of Funny Book Forensics, a Medea podcasting experience. [00:54:52] Speaker A: A Medea podcasting production. [00:54:54] Speaker B: Good night, everyone. [00:54:55] Speaker A: Good night. We.